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Family Matters:  I'm back and it's been a BAD spring.  |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 09:01:30 AM
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Trina,
Please let us know how you're doing whenever you get the chance. We are all here for you.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 09:17:00 AM
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Ok, I'm going to try and answer these questions...sorry if I miss any.
1. I did not call the MP's because we live off post and he took my phone. His chain of command actualy came to our house (day 2 of being AWOL), knew he was there and did nothing.
2. I have talked to the JAG office where the POA was drawn up and his chain of command, nobody has a backup copy.
3. FRG is not availiable because dh was transfered to a new company in Jan and told me nothing about it. I do have a great church family that is helping with money, babysitting, and taking Martin food. Above all, they continualy lift us up in prayer.
4. My email is now confirmed and will go through.
Ok, now an encouraging update...Hubby is having a good day today! I talked to him on the phone and we actualy had a real conversation! He is starting to trust one of his nurses and she is really good about keeping me informed about what is going on. She told me that this morning he actualy got out of bed with out being told to do so and went to the closet for his clothes and got dressed with out a fight-first time he's done either in over 3 weeks! He has been wanting to see the kids, but refusing to talk to any of the hospital staff and they told him that we could work on it if he would vocalise his desires. So this morning he finaly asked. The doctor has approved it and now I have to get written permission from the social worker. I am not certain that the social worker will approve the idea, but it will give him some insentive to work on getting better!
I know we still have a long road ahead of us and probably many set backs and relapses, but I am determined to find joy in every little gift God sends my way! I am always so greatful for the short moments that I can see or hear the real Martin. It gives me hope that he is still there beneith the illness.
Have a great day all my dear farmgirl sisters! Trina
If you would know Love, you must know pain too. -Hannah Hurnard |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 11:26:03 AM
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One moment and one glispse of your dh like he was before gives you hope. I am so glad for you. Will continue to keep praying and thankfully you have a support system with your church family. Take it one day at a time. Sending love your way.
Carol Sue
Life is short, enjoy every moment. |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 12:38:08 PM
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| Dam wars, they are so hard on people noone should have to go through this! I am so sorry you have to. having grandparents who fought in war they really never seem to get past it. I have heard things as thier last words it is so sad. Your husband obviosly has gone through something very traumatic stay on top of his care and I pray he never has to go back there! I wish they could all come home as I for one am against this war and any war. He really is a brave man it just got to much.Prays and loads of hugs and hope you all can mend. God bless!! |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 3:45:49 PM
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best wishes are being sent your way.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth! |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 3:49:29 PM
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Glad to hear some progress is being made.
Sorry that you chain of command has let you down so abominably - in future you may wish to pursue that. FRG should still be available - at least knowing who your new CO's wife is, not saying you need to spill your guts to a bunch of strangers......
Glad to hear though that your church family is taking good care of you.
Continuing to pray for you both,
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 21 2007 : 4:05:40 PM
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Trina-
I am so glad that your husband is making some progress! I know that the mentality of being in a war zone is completely different from being back in a civilian like mentality. My friend that was in Iraq took a while to revert back to civilian mode.
I know you will do whatever is best for you and your kids and you are being so strong! You are being a wonderful wife just by taking care of your kiddos and fixing your lives. I wish I lived closer to where you are so I could come and help you!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for tying, one hand to hold Nora! |
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Phils Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
1095 Posts
Ann
Parsonsburg
Maryland
USA
1095 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 07:00:49 AM
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Wow, Trina. You've done really well in one of the most difficult circumstances imaginable. You and Martin are in my prayers, and I'm so very glad he's starting to come around. It's so hopeful! Yeah for your parents and their support. You and your family may have a long row to hoe, but I think it sounds like you'll not just survive this, but actually recover all that seemed lost. Big hugs to you.
XO,
Ann
Sairy Hill Thicket
There is a Redeemer. |
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Luzy
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Luanne
Pueblo
Colorado
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 07:27:12 AM
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Trina, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Glad to hear that there is a glimmer if your real hubby coming through. Hang Tight, it will get better, and we are all here for you. Big hugs, Lu
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May I always be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. |
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janetinva123
True Blue Farmgirl
363 Posts
Janet
newport news
va
USA
363 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 08:59:44 AM
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Tina, I am so sorry about what you are going through. I pray he gets the help he needs and gets better. I know you must have been so scared but know God's hands are upon you. My grandaughter just went to iraq and I pray every day for her protection. But we all need to pray for all of their protection.
Janet
Jc
http://beloved-creations.blogspot.com
http://beloved-creations.com |
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EnchantedWoodsGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
959 Posts
Kathy
New Jersey
USA
959 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 10:19:30 AM
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Trina - how horrible for all of you. I wish I was there to just hug you and cry with you as I am sure you must feel like doing. You are strong and have done what you could - don't lose faith in God/Goddess as that is what will pull you through. If you need anything, let me know.
Hugs,
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
Kathy of the Enchanted Wood
http://enchantedwoodmusings.blogspot.com/
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9094 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9094 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 11:25:11 AM
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Trina,
I feel so bad for you, how sad for all involved. Try and take one day at a time, and put yourself and the children first right now. Your husband is in the care of others for now, and time will tell you what the right thing is to do and what is best for everyone.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
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Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 12:27:14 PM
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Trina..
I'm really happy tp hear that you've had progress with him..
These things have to move forward for you all now..
& i imagine that everything from here on in should show progress.. It seems as if he realizes the difference of "Over there" & home.. hopefully.. & life can one day soon return to normal for you..
I truly hope so Sweetie.. & am thinking of you all often
All my love..
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 12:29:57 PM
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Trina-
How are you and your family doing today? I hope things have continued to improve!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for tying, one hand to hold Nora! |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 12:35:27 PM
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Once again, I am thankful for the love and support everyone is sending my way!
I went to see Martin this past Sunday and we had a good visit until he asked if I was coming up "regulararly" again. When I told him no, he just shut down. I tried to explain again that the children need me here at home (my 5 year old actualy hid my keys in an attempt to keep me from going places) and that they had to be my first priority, but he refused to listen. We are back to only communicating when he calls to tell me he needs something brought up and usualy he is asking for things that he is not allowed anyway. I guess he was trying to be on his best behavior last week to convince me to keep coming on the schedule he liked. I have now been advised not to go up at all until he begins to comply with the staff and work toward getting out. He is still trying to be in control and that is not good. I am now at a point where I believe that tough love may be the only answer.
Trina
If you would know Love, you must know pain too. -Hannah Hurnard |
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 1:03:47 PM
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| Sounds like you are making good decisions. I am praying for you all and for you to keep getting stronger each day. You seem to be a very brave and caring person...good things will come to you. |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 1:43:20 PM
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Oh Trina...I somehow missed this whole topic...I am so sorry to hear about all the bad stuff your family has been going through. I am so proud of you and the hard but good decisions it sounds like you are making. Your kids will get so much strength from you. I wish I lived closer so I could help you out somehow. You will be in my prayers for sure. Hang in there!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2007 : 2:51:14 PM
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Tough love is a tough thing, but you are making the right decisions. Wish I was there to give you a ride to places that you need to go. Know that we are there in spirit, you are a woman of wisdom and discernment. You have an amazing capapcity to love and be loved. You are a joy to those around you and a light in your children's eyes. You are truly amazing. Just wanted to remind you of all the things that you are. Sometimes hard to remember in stressful times.
Enjoying the moments. |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2007 : 1:01:51 PM
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Thankyou, girls! I am very greatful for that I have such loving friends and family! My oldest daughter did find the keys a few days ago, so I am no longer bumming my mama's car. I have not yet told Martin that I will no longer be coming up, I need to call and tell his brother first because as soon as I tell Martinhe is going to call him and say that I have abandoned him. Since I need Daniel on my side, it is a good idea for me to keep him updated instead of him hearing everything from Martin's slanted perspective. If this tough love does not work, he is looking at the state hospital.
Trina
If you would know Love, you must know pain too. -Hannah Hurnard |
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Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2007 : 1:53:51 PM
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Well # 1. He's a MAN..
& # 2.. He's a Man that is trying to convince people.. them.. the Dr.s.. his Co's.. his caregivers.. AND YOU.. that he's fine..
& # 3... he's a MAN.. he knows he has to behave himself.. & try to at least put up the front that he IS ok.. to try to convince everyone that he IS OK.. so he can get hiw way right now..
He's no dummy.. He wouldn't have been doing the job he was doing if he were!!
But.. he's figured out that he needs to play their game..
Which is to say what he thinks they need to hear.. & behave how they want him to.. so he can have more freedom to do the things he wants.. & have liberties.. such as visiters..
But.. # 4.... HE'S a MAN!! once he's been found out.. he'll pout a bit about it too.. because he knows he'll either have to work a little harder at what ever is going on right now in that head of his.. OR!!! He is going to have to learn that the people that are there helping him.. REALLY are there to help him.. & he will eventually start to realize this..by listening.. Again.. he's no dummy.. he'll figure this all out.. All in time Sweetie..
i really like your tough Love approach.. You'll just have to stick to your guns on this one too..
Your doing a grreat job Sister!!
Hang in there!
Love ya!
Kathie
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2007 : 4:04:02 PM
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Kathie- You crack me up, hun!
Trina- You are so strong and a great example to your kids! How is everything going with the DFS people?
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for tying, one hand to hold Nora! |
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daffodil dreamer
True Blue Farmgirl
805 Posts
Jayne
Hamilton
Victoria
Australia
805 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2007 : 6:06:00 PM
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Trina,
I am so sorry to hear that you having been going through such a rough time. I have missed your bare feet, apron and goat stories and have been wondering where you were. It is awful to hear what you have been through. You sound as though you are keeping strong for yourself and your children. Just make sure you look after yourself through all this. I will be thinking of you and praying for your hubby's health.
Best wishes,
Jayne |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2007 : 11:10:22 AM
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Trina,
We are all with you on this. Tough love may be the only way to go. You do have to think of the children and yourself too. I hope and pray that Martin will start to see the light and work with the staff. I really don't think he will want to go to the state hospital. Hugs to you.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2007 : 3:27:52 PM
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Hey Trina, do what you can love and then you rest. Letting his brother know is wisdom, but don't "worry" about sides. His brother will eventually figure things out.
How are you doing? thinking of you.
Carol Sue
Enjoying the moments. |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2007 : 10:18:19 PM
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| All I can say is do what you need to do to keep yourself and those babies sane. He will eventually come around he just needs to deal with whatever he saw that is haunting him as he is avoiding it. Tough love is hard to do but that may be what brings him around to reality. He will talk to doctors eventually. Have faith, ask God for strength and the help you need. Hold on to that and you will pull through! I hope you and the little ones are in therapy too. It sounded like your five yearold was imitating a little of what he may have seen. Goodluck and know we are here for you! |
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Family Matters: I'm back and it's been a BAD spring. |
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I'm back and it's been a BAD spring.
