| Author |
Family Matters:  I'm back and it's been a BAD spring.  |
|
BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 07:40:10 AM
|
Hey there, girls! Sorry I just dropped out of sight there, especially after posting questions to some of you, but I had no other choice. My husband has been a bit "odd" since returning from Iraq last April and about mid Feburary compleatly lost it. He was/is very paranoid and shut off the internet and phone since he believed that I was using them to help unnamed "they" spy on him. The last day I was on, he thought I spent too long looking at Alee's baby pics and got furious. That was only one episode...Foolishly, I believed that if I obeyed him I could prove that I was not doing him any wrong. Eventualy he ended up keeping the children and I hostage at home for 2 months, only allowing me to leave for groceries and making me leave the kids with him to ensure that I was coming back. He would not allow anybody to come see us (he made the kids hide when a car pulled into the drive). My parents and some dear friends finaly convinced the county to come in and get him (he was AWOL) on an involantary commitment order. They brought a swat team into get him and it took two shots of the tazer to get him into a car. That was 3 weeks ago and he is still in the psych ward on post. He will probably be there another 6 months until a medical discharge goes through and then he will be transfered to a VA hospital. He is refusing treatment and has gone into a POW mode. The kids and I are staying with my mom and stepdad, social services is involved  and it is a mess.
Right now it looks like I just don't have a husband anymore. My kids are traumatised (George may have PSTD himself). My animals are farmed out with friends. My garden untended. That song "There is No Arizona" keeps running through my head. In my weak moments I am tempeted to believe that there is no future. I know that God doesn't just leave us in the hard times, I do get down some days.
I am glad to be back on the forum to share life, projects, and ideas with you all. Trina
'
Bloom where you are planted. |
|
|
Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 07:46:24 AM
|
What a nightmare for you all, Trina. I am so very sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how scary this all has been.
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?" - 'Brother Dave' Gardner |
 |
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 08:19:38 AM
|
Trina-
I am so glad that you are safe and your kids are safe! I feel very badly for your husband. I know that war can be very hard on people and it is a shame that he is having such a reaction. I hope that soon you can get back to a routine that will restore some feeling of normality to your life. Are you going to return to your land and house or is that just too stressful for you and your kids?
I am so sorry to hear that your husband is refusing treatment. I hope that the military will be able to help and support him through this time of crisis. If I could be right there next to you right now I would give you a big hug!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for tying, one hand to hold Nora! |
|
|
|
Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 08:58:49 AM
|
Trina-
BTW I tried to send you an email, but it bounced back.
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for tying, one hand to hold Nora! |
|
|
|
Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
|
|
junkjunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
1306 Posts
Judy
Lawrenceville
NJ
USA
1306 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:06:12 AM
|
| Trina, I'm very sorry you are going through this trying time. All the best to you and your family and I hope your life gets back to normalcy. |
|
|
|
lamarguerite farm
True Blue Farmgirl
649 Posts
missy
Battle Ground
Wa
USA
649 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:11:47 AM
|
Trina- I'm so glad that you and the kids are safe and hope your husband can get the help that he needs. How scary for all of you. Please know that I'm praying for you and you have a bunch of wonderful farmgirl sisters here to support you!!
Love and Blessings,
Missy
If you have a dream, even if you don't feel qualified to accomplish it, just try your hardest.-Maggie Jensen
http://18happyhens.blogspot.com
www.LaMargueriteFarm.com |
|
|
|
mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:16:25 AM
|
| So sorry this has happened to your family. Your faith will get you through. |
|
|
|
KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:34:45 AM
|
Trina, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. I'm hoping that your husband will eventually reach a place in his mind, where he will be open to some type of treatment. We have no idea what they experienced there, and I can only imagine that this must be what others go through, as well.
I am REALLY thinking of you, and am thankful for your safety. I realize that it's easy to think of him and what he's going through, but PLEASE remember that you and your children are MOST important right now.
"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood
|
|
|
|
mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:55:41 AM
|
| Glad to hear your voice in your letter. I will be praying for your husband's recovery and for you and your childrens safety and mindset. This sounds just terrible. May Jesus wrap his cross around you all and keep you safe from harm. Mommom |
|
|
|
blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 09:58:35 AM
|
Trina,
So sorry to hear of this. How scary for all of you (dh included). He must've have such scary things in his mind reminding him of what he's been through. So glad there was help to get him out of the house and that you and the kids are okay. I'm sorry this happened to you, but try to be strong for you and the children. Keep talking (to us, to a counselor, to your family). You need help to get throught this. Sending love to you...
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
|
|
|
BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 10:11:41 AM
|
Thankyou all for the support...I knew I could count on you girls! Alee, I am working on going back to my house (like I said DSS is involved so I have to get permision first), but I will not be going alone. My parents lease has run out and they have agreed to go with us. They are a wonderful help for me and having them makes the kids feel more secure. I may have to sell the current place eventualy and look for a more cost effective homestead, but my husband will have to be deemed mentaly incompetent first (he shreaded thousands of documents including my power of attorney). It sounds awful to be talking like this, but right now I have to make plans for our future and if hubby comes around, we can work him in. I am getting very little info about his conditon, because he is too paranoid to sign anything so the doctor isn't allowed to talk to me.
Thanks again, girls. It is so good to be back! Trina
'
Bloom where you are planted. |
|
|
|
Bluewrenn
True Blue Farmgirl
1122 Posts
Erin
Texas
USA
1122 Posts |
|
|
FarmGirl~K
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Kelly
TX
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 10:33:08 AM
|
Trina... First off (((hugs)) from all of us farm girls! I am so sorry for your current situation! Keep doing what you have been doing in taking care of yourself & the kids. I'm glad that you & the kids are safe & that your parents are there to help you through this stressful time! I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
"Work as if you were to live a hundred years, pray as if you were to die tomorrow." ~Benjamin Franklin~
|
|
|
|
Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 10:51:27 AM
|
Trina , Major and huge ((((HUGS)))). I agree with the others, I am so glad that you and your children are safe. You cannot change what your husband went through, you can take care of yourself and your kids. He is not the only one who suffers from PTSD. You and you children have as well. When people are tramatized we ususally end up in survival mood. My husband mildly suffers from PTSD from Vietnam. He went throuogh most of his ghosts before I was around.
All you can do is take care of yourself and your children. And plan the future with them. You are not mean for leaving your husband out of the equation at present. I pray for his recovery and so many others like him. I am so glad that you have your parents.
Take one step at a time and let us know how you are doing.
Carol Sue
Life is short, enjoy every moment. |
|
|
|
Kathie
True Blue Farmgirl
2436 Posts
Kathie
Thonotosassa
Florida
USA
2436 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 11:01:40 AM
|
Trina sweetie I am really so very sorry for all that your all going through.. I just can't even imagine!
How i wish we had known..!
Not that any of us could really do anything but worry of course..
I just feel awful that no one knew.. & you've been going through all of this on your own..
well.. moving foreward..
He has to get well.. & get through this.. & hopefully he'll be able to sort out everything he went through.. & be able to work himself back into the real world again soon.. But he's in good hands.. No one will be better able to know what he needs or what he's been through then the people he see's every single day right now..
But until then..
You & your kids are priority.. You have to do for YOU.. & think of everything that's going to be best for YOU..
So.. just one day at a time.. try to get through what's happening..
& figure out what needs to be done for all of you..
This was really a traumatic thing for all of you too.. not just him.. I mean yes.. he went through so many horrible things..
But his being gone & the constant worry & stress of what could be happening to him.. & you having to keep things together while he was gone was so much for you to deal with being a military wife.. Then for him to come home with this .. You & the kids probably need to talk this out too.. this was truly more then just traumatic Sweetie.. There's way more to it.. We are all always here for you.. & you know you can holler at any one of us any time.. But i think if your not already... you definatly need to talk to some one with in your medical care giver realm to just get it out too.. This was just more then you should have had to have come home honey..
You take care of yourselves please!!
& know that we love you..
Kathie
In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself.. |
Edited by - Kathie on Jun 21 2007 09:09:25 AM |
|
|
|
Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 11:21:39 AM
|
Kathi, you put that so well. Ditto
Life is short, enjoy every moment. |
|
|
|
UrbanChick
True Blue Farmgirl
331 Posts
Ayako
Atlanta
GA
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 1:08:32 PM
|
I think Kathi said it all. I'm so sorry to hear this has happened. My prayers are with your entire family.
"Courage dosen't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying: I will try again tomorrow." |
|
|
|
UrbanFarmGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
57 Posts
Megan
Surprise
AZ
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 2:14:51 PM
|
As a military wife also, I understand where you are coming from. It takes a special person to be married to a soldier. I think the worst part is when my husband, Andy, is not able to tell me things that he experiences. My brother, who also served, told me there are things he will never tell another soul because he does not wanto to burden others with the thoughts and sights of war. This tears me apart because I know he is going through it alone when he should not have to. As a wife, it is hard to say on the wayside when it comes to these feelings. All we can do as family is to be there and offer our support to our loved ones. When they are ready, they will share.
Have faith and love in your heart. Life will take you down the path you are supposed to be on.
Take care of yourself and explore help for yourself and children. There are many helpful resources available through the FRG groups.
Married to my hubby & the Army, my Meezer, birdies and my sweet Duck Duck! |
|
|
|
Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 2:18:48 PM
|
Oh, Trina! I am so sorry. (((Hugs))) to you and your sweet children. I hope that your dh will have good doctors who can help him. We are here for you.
Karin
Wherever you go, there you are.
Come visit me at:
www.madrekarin.etsy.com
www.madrekarin.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 3:26:12 PM
|
Praying for you. Keep clinging to God. Do you have support on post? The unit, FRG or PWOC? You need them.
I can't help but wonder if he was AWOL why you didn't call the mp's sooner though honey? Not accusing but that is not good from the get go.
I hope that you can get the help you need and hubby as well. If you aren't close to post than perhpas your local church? Glad your family can help some.
As I said praying for you.
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
|
|
|
|
sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 3:40:37 PM
|
Hi Trina:
My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this rough time. You will find out just how powerful and capable you are as you go through this all with your family. Glad you have them to help out. Keep us posted and know we are thinking of you often.
Sheryl-lyn |
|
|
|
kitchensqueen
True Blue Farmgirl
521 Posts
521 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 5:11:58 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by BarefootGoatGirl
he shreaded thousands of documents including my power of attorney
Trina, I'm new since you were here last (hello, nice to "meet" you). First of all, I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough spring, and I hope your husband makes a full recovery from this. After being a military wife and sacrificing so much to have him go to war in the first place must have been difficult for you, and now this. But you and your family will make it through.
Regarding the power of attorney (and any other legal documents), are their back-up copies on file with an attorney or the court system? There has to be a way you could get ahold of duplicates so that you can get more information on his condition and be able to manage your affairs... best of luck in this.
http://apartmentfarm.wordpress.com
Now Open!: http://shadetreestudios.etsy.com |
|
|
|
willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 7:07:39 PM
|
Oh Trina I will certainly be praying for you and your family. I so appreciate your husbands service to our country. I hope he is able to recover and you are able to restore your precious family.
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowartist.etsy.com
www.willowtreecreek.com |
|
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jun 20 2007 : 7:37:26 PM
|
Trina,
I am a military wife as well and I understand fully what you are going through!! I am so very very sorry you went through this and that your DH had such horrible reactions to everything! I will be praying for you and the kids and of course him as well. So many do not realize the horrible effects war has and how long they last!! Do not worry about him being AWOL, you did what you needed to to survive and care for your family and kuddos to you for that!! That was by FAR the most important thing ever! If you ever need to talk, please dont hesitate to e-mail me or if you like I can even call you on the phone or give you my number so you can call me( I have a stateside phone number). Please take care and know you can always come here for support and someone to lean on!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers!!
Hugz,
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
Family Matters: I'm back and it's been a BAD spring. |
|
I'm back and it's been a BAD spring.
