| Author |
Family Matters:  In-laws *gritting my teeth*  |
|
Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 1:35:02 PM
|
Glad you survived the trip, Annika. I feel for you because my in-laws bickered constantly too...very uncomfortable to be around.
Funny thing, my mil blamed everything that had ever gone wrong in her life on her husband...while he was alive, that is. The day he died, she canonized him as a saint. I don't know which was worse, having to watch them fight or then later having to watch her cry out to the heavens for his guidance every time she couldn't find something or couldn't get the lawnmower to start.
People are so weird. I'd just take these two as an example of how I don't want to be when I'm old. |
 |
|
|
countrymommy85
True Blue Farmgirl
898 Posts
Krystle
MT
USA
898 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2011 : 10:46:27 AM
|
I know what you mean! I feel for you! It's hard when you see totally unacceptable behaviour from adults and not sure what to say. Instead of walking on egg shells I'm starting to stick up for myself and say 'hey I don't agree with that'. Depending on the situation of course but you shouldn't have to feel that way! You are married to their son so they can just get over it and leave the problem with them. Remember you don't have to accept that from them or anyone else :) I have to keep reminding myself of that because I'm tired of being a doormat. I was never like that before I got married and since being married I became a doormat because I am too nice of a person and I tried to keep the peace. Well I'm not the one with the problem, I'm not the one being obnoxious so therefore I just have to be my normal self and then I'm not being controlled by other peoples emotions. Reading the book "Boundaries in Marriage" helped me see that fact and my husband and I are listening to the original Boundaries book on audio right now and it's really good and helpful for situations like that! Those hissy fits are a form of manipulation and control on their part, you don't have to put up with it and you can disagree with it in a nice, respectful way even if they respond back poorly everyone needs boundaries! Best of luck to you!
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 06:22:46 AM
|
Wow, 'preachin to the choir here', lol!
I have an 84 yr old mom who has been awful her whole life. Guess with todays terms it would be 'OCD and Narcissistic disorder'.
I keep the phone calls at a minimum and visits as well. She had surgery this summer and my DD had her at her house recouperating for 3 mos. Was sooo proud of my DD. She stood her ground as best as she could. Gma is back home now and we are all relieved she is!!
Hang in there! For all of us that struggle with just VERY mean and difficult family members, it is tough at times to keep that 'farmgirl smile'. All we can do is try oour farmgirl best!!!!
Have a good day, everyone!
Blessings, Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 09:21:19 AM
|
Wow! Thank all of you so much for the support. I really really don't deal with bullying behavior at all well. I have had to learn to stop trying to please them and just be myself no matter what. While I don't consider myself a push over, I'm not an aggressive person by nature, unless it is a subject that I care very much about. I'm distancing myself emotionally from them and just being able to pull back and not give in to the urge to try to "make things right" and please them has helped.
I've talked to Andrew and he understands and is being very supportive. I went through much of the same relationship with my mother and he has lived with the aftermath of my messed up relation ship with her for all of these years. I'm not going to be a doormat anymore either! My attitude is to kill them with kindness but to keep them emotionally at arms length.
Big farmsister hugs to all of you and thank you so very much for sharing your own stories, they have meant a lot to me. Extra love and hugs to all of you with your own difficult situations.
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
|
andwhathaveya
Farmgirl in Training
31 Posts
Tiffany
Beckley
WV
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2011 : 5:19:42 PM
|
I had a husband once that never stood up for me when his parents made fun. My MIL wore a red dress to our wedding. I should have known right then that we were gonna have problems.
Farmgirl #3468 |
|
|
|
gracylfreebush
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
Gracy
Alvin
TX
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Sep 25 2011 : 7:19:42 PM
|
When I married my in-laws were divorced. His Mom was a real piece of work. She had three daughters that she played against each other all the time and she just added me to the group of people she could manipulate. I am not easily manipulated so things turned ugly almost immediately. His Dad was never really mean to me at first but slowly he started telling me all the things I should be doing. He came by once while my DH was at work and really chewed me out for not being able to save more money while we were paying huge hospital bills on our very ill son. He then left for the airport. My DH came in from work shortly and I was crying. I told him what happened and he followed his Dad to the airport and told him if he ever spoke to me like that again he would never see any of us again. His Dad was very nice to me after that. Then a few years later his Mom attempted to take my middle daughter away from me because my older daughter had ADD and she assumed I was not taking good enough care of the middle one because she was "to quiet and sweet" to get my attention. We left her home and none of us have ever seen her again. She recently tried to contact my three daughter through Facebook (they are all in their 20's now)and followed up by saying "Don't tell your Mother I tried to contact you." Of course they all three told me. I am very glad my DH supported me and followed through. His Mother is the one that lost out know three very lovely young women.
Thoughts are things choose the good ones. |
|
|
|
Family Matters: In-laws *gritting my teeth* |
|
In-laws *gritting my teeth*
