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Family Matters:  Feeling a little alone....  |
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greenbean
True Blue Farmgirl
53 Posts
Pennie
Barnwell
South Carolina
USA
53 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 07:19:57 AM
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Well Girls, let me start by saying this - I love my husband and my life.... but at times I seem just a little on the alone side.
Although I have a large hand in helping with the farm that my husband helps his cousin run and Im more then welcome to be over there whenever I want (it's 2 minutes down the road) I still feel a bit alone here at the house.
My husband spends alot of time there, working very late at times into the night, either spreading chicken poo or just doing daily chores and now they are getting ready to plant.
My girls (13 and 16) aren't his, so he feels that he doesn't really need to help me with them, he doesn't feel he's responable for them.
So, I try to keep a positive atmosphere around here for them, concidering my 13 year old daughter will be have spine surgery in June, to correct severe scoliosis and my 16 year old is going through the "I think Im 40 and know everything" stage.
So needless to say, sometimes I feel like I don't really have anyone to talk with. I live 600 miles away from my brother and sister, both of my parents have gained their wings and I don't keep friends around here where I live, only because they all seem to talk about you even if they promise not to.
So... when I started reading MaryJanes Farm Mag. and I found that I could become a memeber - I jumped right on in! I am so excited to be a part of something, a part of a group of women that truely care.
So, if I seem a little antsy with wanting to hurry and send things to my sister's, like with the Mail Art... please except my appology - I just am alone more then I feel I should be and worrying more then I should about everything and everyone....
Thank You for letting me be a part of something where I actually feel like Im wanted!! 
Live simply that others might simply live. ~Elizabeth Ann Seton
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 08:07:37 AM
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Pennie Dear, you are not alone. I feel the same way exactly even though my situation is a little different. I have my mother-in-law, husband, and 3 girls on the 3 1/2 acres we live on. My family pretty much all live within 30 minutes of here. I don't have 'friends' but I have this site and tons of really great friends on here.
I love the feelin of bein safe on here in a way I don't feel in life. This is a place that only lacks one thing...JUDGEMENT! It's perfect here.
If you feel alone and want someone to write to you can feel free to email me anytime. I check my email 3-4 times a day and would be happy to write back to you!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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CurlysQuilts
True Blue Farmgirl
569 Posts
Sarah
Northeast Kingdom
VT
USA
569 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 10:23:45 AM
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I joined for the same reason Pennie! I'm a stay at home mom with two kiddos under the age of three. I'm a member at my church (my husband is a deacon) and yet I really don't find any farmgirls there. i love my village where I live and their are farmgirls, but for some reason we don't connect, so I really struggle with lonliness. This forum has filled the gap in a big way!
Curly's Quilts
www.curlysquilts.etsy.com
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” - Micah 6:8
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Chives
True Blue Farmgirl
232 Posts
Victoria
Shelton
Washington
USA
232 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 12:32:45 PM
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| I live alone and don't have children. I love my farm and this forum and hey if you want a pin pal or email me anytime. Vicki sis 280 |
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embchicken
True Blue Farmgirl
1487 Posts
Elaine
Ocean
NJ
USA
1487 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 3:14:20 PM
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Pennie~ Just emailed you!
"Be the change you wish to see in the world" ~Gandhi
farmgirl sister #2822
embchicken.blogspot.com |
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greenbean
True Blue Farmgirl
53 Posts
Pennie
Barnwell
South Carolina
USA
53 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 4:30:30 PM
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Thank You so much Girls!! I find that Im on here more and more every day since I have become part of a "family" Thank You all again!!
Much love to you all!!
- Pennie
Live simply that others might simply live. ~Elizabeth Ann Seton
Sister Chick #2875 |
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 5:21:38 PM
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I am lonely as well. I have lived in this community for a long time but, since our family is different from the other families in town and I am not a social butterfly by any means I do not have coffee or visit people. I have one friend in town who calls me almost everyday and that is wonderful. I am on the fourth of July committee but that is seasonal. I am glad for a space to type and read friendly thoughts and common interests.
Holly
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vmfein
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Valerie
Dale City
VA
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2011 : 8:12:41 PM
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My husband and I live in Virginia. However we have no other family here. The rest of mine live over a thousand miles away in Iowa. His lives in Missouri and California. While I do have some former coworkers that I keep in touch with here, they either live to far away or work too many hours to get together. Last year I joined a quilt guild and have made a few friends, which I see them about once or twice a month. One thing that I have found that is nice to do is to write others, including your family. I write to my two grandmothers and especially know that they enjoy them. I usually do not get a response from them that often I still know that they enjoy them, especially my grandmother with Alezheimers. They do have a penpal group here, which I just signed up for. I have also found that doing the swaps here is a lot of fun as well.
Farmgirl Sister #2619 |
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HDA
True Blue Farmgirl
59 Posts
Heidi
Hood River
OR
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2011 : 12:16:04 AM
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Wow Pennie, did you write that post or did I? lol! I am happy with the things I have..I have a great home, job that I am good at, great husband, lots of activities I love, and my family & I are close friends. However, that said, I have no local friends. At all. It is really quite sad. I am 31 years old & growing up in school & college & even right after college in my early 20s I had lots of friends & lots of long term solid friendships. The problem being that all those friends are so scattered now and they have families of their own & no time for friendships or maintaining them over the distance. I moved to a small town about 7 years ago & still don't "fit in." I feel like the community is not very excepting of new people. If you weren't born here, you will never be considered "local". So therefore, I feel pretty lonely a lot. My family lives about 80 miles away so I see them, but not often enough, usually once or twice a month.
I don't know why I don't fit in here, I would think my farmgirl ways would be accepted, but I just haven't really found like-minded folk I guess & people are too busy or already set with friends that they don't need more. Most people in my age-group I know are raising kids & I don't have kids of my own. I have a 16 year old step-daughter (also going on 40) and I thought it was interesting what you said about your husband not helping with your kids because they aren't his & I actually have the opposite problem. I don't get to be very involved in my step-daughters life. She only lives with us in the summer & I don't get any part in raising her. It is a frustrating situation, especially when I feel like I would have a lot to offer, but she & I have nothing in common either. I still end up feeling like I have no one to talk to & no women friends to relate with. I am hoping maybe to meet some farmgirl friends through this website that live close by someday, that would be awesome. My husband humors me a lot when I hold up a new project & ask him for his advice, but it would be great to have women friends to call up & discuss it. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2011 : 07:26:05 AM
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Pennie- Welcome to the forum!!
This is my internet home too that gives me so much more than advice and a place to "chat" like so many other internet locations do. This has truly been my saving grace.
Many years ago I moved to this beautiful town named Moscow, Id. I knew only a few people there that were at best- acquaintances. Not really friends, but they were my boyfriends (now my husband's) best friends. Moving up there left me over 700 miles away from friends and family and also in a precarious financial situation. It was hard to say the least.
My husband was working long hours at a job that didn't appreciate him, so when he came home he wanted to sleep- not interact and it seemed to take forever for me to find a job. It took me over 2 years to start slowly finding friends and even then a lot of the people I felt the same way about as you do the people in your area.
Then one day I stumbled across one of MaryJane's magazines. I couldn't believe that this amazing farm was just 7 miles away from where I lived! I logged onto the forum that night and knew I had found some amazing women.
Since then, I have rarely missed a day on the forum. The ladies here are kind, loving and intelligent. Their advice is wonderful and their they open their hearts to you.
So please feel truly welcome and know that you will find many, many women here that feel the same or have experienced the same feeling of societal disconnect. And in that idea is the true reason why the forum exists- it's a tool to help restore some of that wonderful community feeling in this age of non-community.
*hugs*!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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Edited by - Alee on Mar 29 2011 07:28:19 AM |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Mar 29 2011 : 6:35:37 PM
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Everyone has pretty much said what I was going to say with one exception...I was an 11 year old step-daughter whose stepfather paid her no mind. I only felt in the way. I would only urge you to speak to your husband regarding this. My life would have been much easier and happier if I would have had a father figure in my life. In my own opinion, I think that dads have more influence over daughters.
I am glad you are here. The other girls are right. This is a non-judgmental place to be. Welcome home.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 05:24:48 AM
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email me
hugs!
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 4:39:14 PM
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I do not facebook or tweet. I was rarely on the computer. My family is all over the place. My DH and I moved to FLA.less than a year ago because my Dad is ill. I am a nurse and I feel like I take care of everyone else all the time and rarely have any time to myself. My husband is fabulous but he is home all day and I am rarely alone. I have very little time to make friends.
Then I found MJF magazine and this forum and I feel saved. I now check in here every day. For some reason I find a kinship here that I don't find elsewhere. I feel safe and supported. I have found kindred spirits and LOVE the swap/barter thing. You women are awesome. Thanks for accepting me openly, lovingly in friendship and sisterhood.
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 11:21:53 AM
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Ladies, these forums are such a kinship for us all and a true blessing. No matter our circumstances, we can alwas come on here day ornite and be blessed and be able to e ourselves and share whatever is on our hearts. Pennie, you are no alone when we have our farmgirl sisters.
Blessings, Linda
www.scatteredlittlblessings.blogsot.com
Country at Heart |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 1:03:52 PM
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I, too, picked up and moved 2,400 miles away from my family in California, to a farm way out in the middle of nowhere, KY. I don't have many friends that are close-the nearest one is close to 30 minutes away. MJF is such a wonderful place! I find myself here so often finding really awesome people and ideas!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 01 2011 : 4:08:59 PM
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Pennie,
Welcome. I know you already feel so glad that you joined and I know you will be find the forums friendly and informative, too.
I am so sorry your daughter is facing surgery. I have scoliosis. Had surgery at 16 and now have a daughter who also has scoliosis, but so far has been able to control it with the brace she wore for 4 and a half years. Let me know if I can help with any questions you might have. I would welcome emails or letters from you or your daughter.
Marianne |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 04:00:00 AM
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Greetings from NC!
I know how it feels being so far away from you family.
Do know you are loved here!
If you have any particular interests, is there a way you can get involved an any groups via church, FFA, 4-H, or the Y ?
Sorry you feel so alone. It's a crappy feeling
I feel like that at work a lot!
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Simply Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
163 Posts
WI
USA
163 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 09:46:58 AM
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When you feel alone and need a little support just email one of us to say Hi. You will probably be making their day also.
There is no set path, follow your heart stay the course. |
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BalancingAct
True Blue Farmgirl
297 Posts
Jackie
Hoosierville
USA
297 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2011 : 10:14:25 PM
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Hey! I found my "support group" right here! I too feel very "alone" even when I have people around me. I just can't seem to "connect" with the "fads" of today. I'm more "down-to-earth" and I love farm life(even if it is small). A lot of my family members consider me "old-fashioned" and call me their "country girl"(with that I just smile). Recently I told my Aunt that I'm wanting some chickens. All she could do is laugh. However, the tables turn when she eyes my garden! LOL! I am so very glad I found this forum! At least I know I'm not alone with what I love and am trying to do in this big world.
Farmgirl Sister #2851 -"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 08:58:27 AM
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I was feeling a bit down and alone this am and I have to say that all the ladies here always warm my heart and lift me up. Blessings
CMF |
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adnama
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
inge
fargo
north dakota
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 12:48:26 AM
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| Pennie: hugs sent your way |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2011 : 12:48:01 PM
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I'm finding more and more, the older I get, that even if I DO meet people, it's harder to squeeze time with them into my life. Case in point, I met one really really nice gal through a friend finder, and we totally hit it off. Then my husband was too tired to meet her and her hubby for dinner... then I found out I was pregnant, and then... and then... and now this great potential good friend and I really only post on each other's face book walls a year after meeting.
It just gets really hard to make and maintain relationships outside your immediate family when you're no longer seeing people every day at class or a job. (Chalk that up to things they never told us in High School.)
To deal with living rurally, (and busily)I got involved in MMORPG communities (online games like World of Warcraft, Everquest etc.) It's a really nice "me time" hobby my husband and I can do together or separately. It's nice to have a social medium where I am taken at my (online) face value, and I get to socialize with people I wouldn't normally connect with due to distance, age or situation.
One of our best friends in real life is a guy my husband and I met and mentored when he was a high school senior in game, and we get together for movies, sushi, etc. regularly, as through chance, we happened to end up in the same city 5 years later!
I've also frequently had the opportunity to be a true friend to women who had access to no one else. Online I've met and helped two women get away from abusive men who said they would not have had the strength or resources to make a new life if I hadn't reached out to them because their abusers did their best to cut them off from the world.
I don't feel that the virtual world and relationships you form are much less "real" than offline. Online friendships still sustain and fulfill a need for companionship and mutual understanding, and on the downside online affairs have the power to destroy real life relationships.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2011 : 1:19:45 PM
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Ditto to all the above. I have friends but they are not farmgirls. I long for someone that bends over to pull a weed when visiting my garden. ( Someone that knows a weed when they see one!) Someone that calls and says " I need help with ______ in the farmyard, can you come?" Someone who gets that compost is cool. Talking with everyone here is my fulfillment of that need. Now if I could only find some close enough to have a chapter or to visit with.
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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BoPeep214
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Stephanie
Fort Wayne
IN
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2011 : 12:49:45 PM
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I feel the loneliness a lot too. My husband is home in the evening, and I have 4 kids. We live next door to my in-laws, and not far from the rest of his family. I have no friends here, and my closest family is two hours away. My in-laws are great, but I don't feel like they truly accept me even though they are all farmers. I'm still seen as an outsider and always will be probably. I am so grateful to have found all these farmgirl sisters! No one thinks I'm strange for loving my chickens or for sitting to read a book under a tree in a sheep pasture. This is a great place for us, and I hope you don't ever feel like you have no choice but to be lonely - cause you have all of us now! Anytime you need, just type away! I'll be here! (As often as I can get my 15 year old daughter to get off the computer!)
Stephanie
Farmgirl Sister #2920
"Happy to share with you such as we've got: the leaks in the roof and the soup in the pot." `Unknown` |
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smiley
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
lea
pea ridge
arkansas
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2011 : 7:46:28 PM
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| Stephanie I too wait my turn from my 15 yr old daughter! I was thinking as I read all the post how the sisterhood is composed of women from all different walks of life. Isnt it strange how you can be alone living in a city surronded by people as well as in a remote rural location? But God is always there. |
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Family Matters: Feeling a little alone.... |
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Feeling a little alone....
