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Family Matters:  Why Do I Do This?  |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
 Posted - May 24 2011 : 07:07:13 AM
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I have been raising our meat now for about 6 years. I had in the past but not like this. I mean everything. Well, ecxept deer. My husband has been driving a truck for about 18 years now. And I guess he's so used to crapy food that when he eats here he gets sick. I am just ready to sell or give away all the animals. Because even the family, when they are all here, have to know what it is they are eating. They are afraid it's goat or lamb or something horrible. So I am just a little frustrated with all the work I do and the money it costs and no one likes it. So I went to Dollar general yesterday and spent $65. on junk food for my hubby while he's here on vacation for 2 weeks. I got vienna sausages, potted meat, balogna (which I have not even seen in years), milk, bread, eggs, American cheese, lunch meat. I just want him to be happy while he's here.
And I am seriously thinking about selling all the animals because I can just get the better grass fed pastured meat at the market for me cheaper than I can raise it. And I can buy milk from my friend for me. And eggs too. I will just go to Walmart and get the other stuff there for the rest of these people who don't care what they eat or where it comes from.
I know this sounds very immature of me, but I am a little upset. I just need to vent and rant and rave for a bit. Then I will be ok and back to normal again. It's just right now I am having a little pity party for one.
And speaking of milk, my goodness, it was $5.25 for a gallon of 2%. Yikes! When did that happen? And bread too. He's gonna have to find a second job if he wants to eat like this.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 07:16:48 AM
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Kris- you do it because you want to know that your animals were raised with a humane hand and you want to know that they were butchered the right way. I think you are doing a fantastic job! Don't give up! Your husband's gut is probably all out of whack from that nasty truckstop food. Once he retires I am sure he is still going to want all that junk food since that is what he is used to but I am sure once his gut is recolonized with healthy bacteria- that he will be fine with fresh food!
This reminds me of a really funny story that my personal trainer told me when I was in high school (the company my dad worked for paid for the membership to the health club). Her parents in law lived on a farm but were exteremly unhealthy. The fried everything and ate really bad for you items. They wouldn't eat a veggie unless it had been battered and fried to death. So when ever they came to visit she always made sure everything was high in fiber and healthy. She said they were miserable for the first 3 days but then after that when their body started to deal with the food change they had more energy and even remarked that they felt better than they had in years.
So I bet it will be something like that for your hubby too. His body is going to need to push the "reset" button and then he should be okay with it. And once he realizes the amazing food that you cook- he is going to be so sad to have to return to truckstop food!
*hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 07:28:34 AM
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I completely understand! My MIL accepted eggs from us for almost a year before I found out she was not eating them. Apparently she was afraid of salmonella from "not store bought" eggs. ?!!? The entire extended family had questions about our home canned veggies safety. Sigh. Goodness help me if I tried to serve home grown meat to any of them. :)
I had to examine why I do what I do. I realized that "I" like it. It is good for the earth and my body. They just have to get over it. I also admit I hate to eat at my MIL's house. I can taste the chemicals in all the packaged foods and I get sick every time I eat there. So we have agreed to disagree on how we eat. I'm not sure what I would do if I lived with them!
I know you just need to vent and this is the place to do it! I also want to remind you that this is not the time to make any big decisions about anything. You are grieving. Everything feels bigger right now. The little things that others are concerned about seem so ridiculous when you are coping with a recent loss. Perspective gets shifted when grieving. That's a good thing mostly. But not the time to act on it.
Know that you are not alone.
Hugs on you!
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 08:23:00 AM
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Unfortunately the result of eating "crappy" food is that when a person puts good food in their system they will feel sick and spend a good deal of time in the bathroom. However, if they continue to eat good food and not "crappy" food their system will switch to the opposite. My family eats good food and we try to stay away from junk as much as possible and when others visit and ask what we serve I tell them and if they choose not to eat it then that's their problem. A little tougher when it is hubby. You could always scale down the number of animals you have so their isn't as much work for you.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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Heartbroken farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Annette
rio vista
Ca
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 08:30:34 AM
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Oh Kris, I can completely understand! I would be so frustrated too! My daddy married this woman, not my step mom please. She is so odd, but anyway...I have made them quilts and throws, they were given to her dog! My daddy drives a truck too, so his are in the sleeper. I make our butter, whipped cream, sour cream....she will not touch it. When she comes for supper, she brings margarine!! Ugh, but you know Kris. You know where it came from, how it was handled, you know what they are eating. Isn't that why you do it? It's a labor of love. I'm sorry you're catching complaints, its so discouraging.
And while I secretly love a fried bologna sandwich, how can they eat bologna, and then wonder what they are eating when you serve meat? Just because its beef, doesn't make bologna made of pleasant beef parts, in pleasant and clean conditions.....
The tears I shed then, watered the flowers I harvest now.
www.broken908.blogspot.com
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/broken908
"The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values."-Dean William Ralph Inge |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 10:18:06 AM
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Y'all are so sweet. And so wise too. Thanks for all your comments. I know right now is not a good time for me. I am just sad and then he tells me this. I guess I just need to let things go and not get upset. I do have some friends that might take the cow and calf and the lamb. Possibly some chickens too. I'll see what happens. It is really expensive to feed all these critters. But the cow and calf cost nothing at all right now. And in winter only hay. The lamb is drinking goat milk and will be grass fed too. So no expense for them. It's the goats and chickens that cost si darn much to feed. I have put the chickens up because they keep getting in my gardens and scratching up everything I have just done. Plus they eat all the ripe tomatoes. I might just put fence around the tomato plants and let them all back out. They have also slowes down laying eggs since they are cooped up. And I really don't like to keep them cooped up.
So I will just try to see what happens. I will pray and ask the Lord to help me deal with my hubby. Thanks for all your help and good advice.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 12:24:56 PM
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I've been thinking about this as I vacuumed today. (It is raining again.) My Dad was gone a lot when I was at home. Some short periods of time and some for as much as two years. It was always a bit tense and difficult when he came home. My mom and us girls had our routines and habits that didn't always mesh with his. Everyone had to adjust and it was not always easy. He was not as invested in our activities because he was so often gone. Sounds like you and hubby are going through the same thing. One of the biggest stressors was that Mom wanted his help with things when he got home and he just wanted to relax and play. And then he retired. ;0 Thank God I was gone by then! Honestly he is the easier more pleasant parent so I don't want to make him out the villain. It was just a tough way to live.
I guess I'm telling you about this so you will know that your situation IS a stressful one and that others have/do live with it too and understand.
It may be that you need a break from being responsible for so much. You can always get more animals when you are ready if you want them right?
OK enough from me.
Sending you love and light,
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 2:02:58 PM
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Connie, that is the way it is for us. I am so used to it being me and then when he's here I have to be "married".It is hard to adjust. I really don't know what I will do when he retires. I may have to go on the road! He does his thing and I do mine most of the time. It's always been like that with us. He loves his family though and wants to be around them all the time. I can understand how it was for you. I had to raise my 2 daughters for the rough years and it was hard. He wanted to be the good parent and let them do what they wanted while he was here.
A lady just came by to look at my goats. Now is that a sign or what? She seemed really nice and has 10 acres. But has never milked before. That always makes me wonder. I sold 2 does a few years ago to a lady who had never milked nefore and she ended up selling them. So now I am so torn. I was just thinking about selling most of the chickens and just keep maybe 5 for me. I will see. They should be easy to sell.
Thanks, Connie. I know I will be fine and so will he. I just want him to be happy and not get sick on his vacation.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 2:10:36 PM
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Yes you will be fine. So will he. You have handled a lot and know yourself well enough to make decisions you can live with. We are all here for you!
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 5:41:47 PM
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You could always be like me and tell him "if you don't like what I have go eat with the neighbors" and when people who visit me (a rarity) decide not to eat it doesn't hurt my feelings but they certainly don't get asked back. You do what you do because it is who you are--you love it. True you can get rid of some animals and take a break for a bit and when the time is right, you'll find your way back to it. There is no harm in taking a break and trying something else; especially if you know you can save some money by trimming down the feed bill. There have been times when I brought a dish to a cookout and people ask what I brought; I just tell them to taste it and see.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet--Dr. Kioni
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 6:31:02 PM
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the thing I don't get is why tell any one it's different? Do you go to some one's home and they say, hey I'm serving crap I got from the gas station. Or do they just put the food on the table? Most the time they just put the food on the table. I understand you are excited and think that people will be as excited as you to eat healthy, but I find about 99 percent of people would rather eat crap. So instead of being so excited that you shout from the roof tops that you are serving something healthy and good for them, just act like you are serving the same crap they serve their families and no one would question it! When they ask what it is, give them vague answers, like it's meatloaf, you don't have to say it's meatloaf I made from my organic grass fed cow! Just say meatloaf. When you serve chicken, just say it's chicken, not my organic free range hen I just went and butchered this morning. That's how you get around that. That's how I did it. Now then if some on goes on and on about how awesome it tastes, and you think they would genuinely like to know that it's healthy, and you grew it/raised it yourself then share that. Otherwise believe me just make life easier on yourself and keep it to yourself. And don't let them know, and they won't know the difference!
As for your husband, is there any way while he is gone you can cook, and freeze away meals for him, and him take a fridge in his truck and take your food with him. As was said when his system gets used to it it would be soooooo much better for him! Maybe he could even put a toaster oven in his truck to heat up your meals. (I find a toaster oven heated up food tastes soooooo much better then microwaved heated food!)
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 8:38:24 PM
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Heather, that made me laugh! Thanks. You are so right. Who cares what they think it is. If they come to dinner, they should eat, right? When did we start asking what it is anyway? I guess I don't need to tell anyone what I am doing here anymore and no one will be the wiser. You are so darn right! I love everything you have said! Thank you so much. And he does have a little fridge in his truck and I do freeze him plates when I cook. So he does get some good food out there. ANd I make bread and he takes that too. I am just a little sensitive right now I guess. But you are so right.
Rachel, I remember now about your hubby. He sounds like mine sometimes. He's usually not like this. I don't know why he said that about the sausage the other morning. I eat it all the time. When I do talk to him about it he says it's not everything. It was just the sausage. But I did got to Aldi's today and got ground beef, chicken, pork chops, sirloin steaks and ham for him. So I have spent about $145. just on food for him. I hardly ever go to the store. I did get fruits and veggies too. But food is expensive. And he should be glad I don't have to buy meat.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2011 : 11:48:13 PM
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Glad I could cheer you up. I have to say, I learned this from experience! Believe me I used to think it was so exciting that I was serving delicious HEALTHY food, and would shout it too. Then I would go home (from get togethers/gatherings/family reunions) with dishes of food that I had only ate out of! lol I quit telling people and people started eating it! Yes, sometimes I do get asked what it is, and I am just vague. Instead of saying it's a layered salad, that has 8 veggies from my garden and naming the veggies I grew. I just say it's a salad now. lol haha Cause the last time I went on and on about all the veggies in it, after the person asked me what it was, she turned her nose up and said wow that's way too many veggies for me! And turned around from my salad and walked off. lol I was like.......ooooh. WEIRD. But, it taught me, just keep it simple and vague.
And yes when did people start questioning others up. When I was growing up most mom's put stuff on the table and you ate it. I was raised when you went to some one's home you ate it, weather you thought you would like it or not, that was good manners. I don't know what the world has came to, but good manners has went out the window. And as much as I hate to mute myself, I've learned that unless it's one of my farmgirl type friends, I have to just keep details to myself and keep friendships/family people conversations very superficial, or they get weird!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 06:25:13 AM
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Yes, from now on I will just cook it and put it on the table and if someone asks I will just say if they can't ell what it is just leave it alone. That will leave more for me! Taht will solve alot of problems. My step dad always said he was supposed to eat whatever was put on his plate with no questions. He thinks it still should be that way now. But the way kids are fed these days, being asked what THEY want to eat, it has gotten way out of hand.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 4:01:19 PM
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I agree ladies. I would have been slapped silly if I asked for something other than what was put in front of me. Birthdays we got to request a meal and that was really special!
Kris I wondered if maybe it was the change in water that makes him feel sick? Sometimes that gets me when I travel and not just to third world places. (That's a whole nother topic!)
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 4:37:42 PM
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Funny how things change. Growing up you didn't question what was to eat..you either ate it or went hungry. The fact that people would generally rather eat crap than healthy is mind boggling...and yet wonder why they don't feel well? hmm...
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet--Dr. Kioni
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2875 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2875 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 7:11:16 PM
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Grind up some chicken toenails & various butt parts, a tad of red food coloring & tell hubs it is potted meat..Not too far off from what goes in that little can..
which.. I am asahmed to admit..I used to eat as a teenager.. |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 8:06:28 PM
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Ew! That is disgusting, Lisa. I hate that stuff but I guess that is what's in it. And I agree with you all. What's wrong with this picture? I don't know if it's water. He does take water jugs with him most of the time. And then he gets bottled water. He is diabetic too.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 8:26:16 PM
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When I was in high school I had to go to our local meat packing co. (Frosty Morn) to pick up my beef heart for a dissection lab. While I was there I was given a tour. I have not eaten a hot dog, bologna, canned weiners, or potted meat since. I will not even go into how awful what I saw was. I could not eat meat for weeks afterwards. I thought I would never get the smell out of my nose. Those are some very vivid memories. My kids never had a hot dog till they were in school. I could not watch them eat them. I gag at the smell.
Funny, the same folks that worry about my eggs having salmonella or my canned produce having botulism eat that stuff on a daily basis. I say pick your poison.
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2011 : 8:46:47 PM
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I know it's sooooooo weird, that people have such odacity today to ask and then stick their nose up to what's served. Now if I was serving things that just aren't done today (that by the way my grandmother served regularly to her family and they all survived!) like opposum, or squirrel brains I may be just give them some slack but give them very healthy, clean food and they act like you're trying to poison them, and stick up their nose and turn around, in my opinion is just weird and RUDE! I would of gotten a whippin' when we got home had I acted that way when visiting some one's home. I still to this day remember my mom used to pay the lady across the street from my elementary school to feed me lunch, as it was healthier then school lunch (the school lunch was frozen hot dogs and such), and they were picky about allowing you to bring sack lunch. Any way, Gold fish "crackers" were new back then, and I had never heard of them nor had them before, they weren't the kind of junk my mom would of ever bought. Most the food the lady across the street cooked was very healthy and good for us though. But, this one cold winter day she made us (she did this for her own children and also many other school kids who's parents also paid her) soup this lunch day and said before lunch sorry kids I was out of regular crackers and I didn't have many gold fish so I added them already to your soup, so every one is having gold fish today and what's already in your bowl is all I have. Well again, remember I didn't know about gold fish "crackers" and I really have no memory of her using the word crackers in there, only gold fish! lol I swallowed hard and made myself eat the "gold fish". Till it was gone! I was so proud of myself for not puking, or insulting Mrs. Butcher, and just eating it happily! lol haha In fact, I was so proud of myself when I got home I told my mom what I had done. She insisted Mrs. Butcher would not of fed us Gold Fish, and I insisted she did and I ate them with our complaining! lol Any way she finally called Mrs. Butcher and Mrs. Butcher then explained to her it was gold fish crackers, not actual gold fish! lol haha I will NEVER ever forget that one! But, my real sadness is, why aren't kids still taught this way? A kid today would of totally insulted Mrs. Butcher and in my opinion would of been a total embarrassment. My DD who is 4, is kind of like that, but we don't let her get by with it, she tries though sometimes! lol But, see we just don't allow it, we tell her eat or be hungry but don't whine later to us!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2011 : 11:11:24 PM
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I'm just looking at making the switch from store bought to home made, and in farm planning stages I have a lot of discussion going on with my spouse and family (My mother is pretty much always going to live with us, and at least one of my teen sibs long term.)
My goal is to substitute as much of the stuff I regularly use with home raised as I can. I'm starting small with my first serious garden, and taking a serious attempt to harvest my grapes and fruit trees.
I'm not shooting to be 100% self sufficient right off the bat, but I do have everyone behind fresh eggs (duck, or chicken) cow milk, butter, and cream. If pasteurizing makes everyone more comfortable I'm willing to do it. My suggestion of bringing up 2 sides of beef "on the hoof" and a pig have been met with acceptance, even excitement, but I have the distinct advantage of a frugal husband, and a mother who grew up a butcher's daughter. She knows very well what's in commercially produced food.
Maybe the exotic stuff is scary to guests (I've never had capron, and I admit I'd be a little intimidated the first time.)
It sounds like your little farm is a lot of work on you, but I think its important to enjoy what you get out of it, but if you have to please many, you might want to think of going a bit more generic in what you produce, just so your guests don't question what you have-- just serve (and raise) what's recognizable for a while.
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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henlady35904
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Kim
Gadsden
Alabama
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2011 : 3:54:21 PM
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| Kris, Don't make any radical decisions today, talk and pray with hubby, then make ur decision. Maybe he needs more of ur time and is a little jealous of the time it takes for all you do. As far as in laws questioning, pretend ur deaf, if they persist...just say "supper, lunch,etc" and keep eating urself. Good luck! |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2011 : 6:41:54 PM
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Ok, I have been thinking about this for awhile today. And I LOVE what I do. And I don't like feeling this way because I want to be more self sufficient. I like my life. I think what got me the most of all was today I was at Whole Foods to pick up my fish oil and a few other things. It has been awhile apparently since I have been there. The prices were just amazingly high. How do people afford to buy food? I was shocked at how much fruit and veggies are. There is NO way if I had to buy food like that for my family, that we could afford it. We would have to be rich to shop there. Then I thought how lucky we are to live here where we do and have land to grow our own fruits and veggies and raise our own animals for meat and eggs and milk. We are so lucky.
So I came home and sat down and told my husband how I felt. He is so funny and just like a man. He said he likes all this too and this is why he works so we can have this. He is always bragging on me when people ask what I do and he tells them about this place. He likes that I want to do this. I guess I was just in one of those awful moods and jumped to the wrong conclusion. Wanting to get rid of all this and be dependant on others for our food just is not what I want to do. I don't think God wants us to be like that either. He gave us 2 hands and 2 feet and a strong back and the sense to grow food and do what we do. He wants us to be doing this too. I really believe this.
So we talked some more about it. I told him I want sheep out front in that pasture and I want a few more calves. So he said we need to work on the fence Monday so we can put Mazie and Chuck over in the over grown pasture where the sheep will be soon.
I am so relieved right now. I know he loves me and wants me to be happy. But I want him to be happy and healthy too. So I will be a little more understanding and let him have his way sometimes.
Jen, it does take time to do this. It's best to start out small and work your way up. Find out what is best for you. I always go too big and get overwhelmed. So I have had to learn this myself. I hope it all works out good for y'all.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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henlady35904
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Kim
Gadsden
Alabama
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2011 : 7:02:30 PM
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| Kris...I knew you both could work this out. |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2011 : 9:07:23 PM
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you know I have read all thur this & the one thing I must say...yeah like it will be one thing with me...anyhoo...you are the one cooking, if they don't eat it you have great leftovers....Me, I am one who cooks what I feel is right & like you healthy...if the family won't eat it too bad I will not cook something else for them...& for the hubby get him a bottle of Tums until his system works better or he retires...which ever comes first.....You can not please everyone so stop trying...you do what you makes you happy...& if cooking healthy makes you happy then do it......Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2011 : 9:18:06 PM
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Yea! I'm so glad you were able to work this out. I was rooting for you!
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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Family Matters: Why Do I Do This? |
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Why Do I Do This?
