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Family Matters:  Adoption PURPLES - UPDATE 2/9/11  |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 29 2010 : 10:46:35 PM
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I hope it's okay that I post this here, but I'm really having a rough time dealing with the L-O-N-G road to adoption and need to get it all out. Talking about it here in a somewhat "anonymous" setting is much easier than trying to talk about it with family who, while certainly well-meaning, have their own agendas.
My husband and I have decided to adopt children. We have been married for almost 9 years now and have no children of our own, although we would certainly welcome them. We have decided it is best for us is to accept it as a fact (call it God's will, fate, the master plan of the universe, whatever) and not seek out medical reasons or interventions. (We both have seen the doctor about it and know there is nothing acutely wrong with either one of us that will cause ill health, but we have decided NOT to seek specialist treatment regarding fertility.)
This being said, after much discussion, reflection, and prayer, we decided to pursue child adoption and attended our first orientation with Bethany Christian Services in June 2009. We had no specific draw to B.C.S.; we attended their orientation after seeing an advertisement in the newspaper. There are basically 4 different options: (1) domestic (U.S.A.) infant adoption, (2) domestic older child / special needs child adoption, (3) domestic embryo adoption (embryos left over from other people's IVF treatments are implanted into your womb), and (4) foreign child adoption. For lots of reasons too personal to discuss here, my husband and I chose to go the domestic older child / special needs adoption route.
Also a quick note about foster care: we were clearly told about a dozen times that the ultimate goal of fostering is to reunite children with their biological parents. Cases where foster parents end up adopting their foster children are somewhat looked on as a kind of failure because that ultimate goal of reuniting children and parents was not achieved. The B.C.S. mantra was "Love 'em like your own, and then send 'em on home." With this in mind, both my husband and I felt VERY strongly that this was not an avenue we were able to pursue. It takes a very, very, very special, forgiving, and strong person to be able to love a child and understand that on any given day they may be required to hand that child back to the parent who had been (and may become again...and again...and again) an unfit parent. It is just more than we can do.
So began our journey. At that first orientation session we spoke to a very nice man who gave us his business card and told us to contact him if we decided to adopt older children. "If you want to adopt an older child, I can have one in your home by Christmas!" he enthusiastically said. He told us to go to the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange website (www.mare.org if you want to see what I'm talking about) and see if there were any kids we would like to pursue. We ran home that night and right away found 2 brothers, Donovan and Gordon, that we wanted to know more about. My husband called the man the next morning and said we were interested in adopting them. "Fantastic!" the man said, "But I'm not your social worker, I'm a family recruiter. First you need to go through training classes, then you can adopt the boys. The next training sessions begin in September." We signed up right away. About a week later we received a form letter that said M.A.R.E. had received our inquiry about Donovan and Gordon. About a week after that, Donovan and Gordon were removed from the M.A.R.E. website because they were adopted by another family. No one ever contacted us about them.
We attended all of the required training classes, which stretched from September into October. At our last session we were told we would each be assigned to a caseworker who would contact us to begin the "application process." We were kind of shocked...five months in, and we haven't even begun the "process?" We thought that's what we were doing at all these classes. We were told the social workers would contact us in a week or so. "We're very busy people!" they cried at the last session, "Please be patient with us!"
Our last session was October 6, 2009. Our caseworker (C.W.) sent us an inch-thick envelope on November 10 containing our Adoptive Family Assessment.
The assessment is not something you can do overnight. It requires filling out an application, questionnaires, criminal and protective services clearances, fingerprinting, discipline policies, family histories, financial statements, medical exams, drivers' records clearances, copies of marriages license, drivers' licenses, auto insurance, pet vaccinations, referrals from non-family members, etc. We finally finished the whole process on January 13, 2010. We made copies of all our documents and Fed-Exed all the originals to C.W. that same day. We did not hear back from her until March.
During this waiting period, we continued to check the M.A.R.E. website often, seeing what children had been added or removed. We found another little family we were interested in: Brittany, Drake, and Jacob. We made another inquiry and received another form letter. A few weeks later, Brittany and Drake were still on the website but their baby brother Jacob had been removed (someone had broken up the family to adopt only the youngest child - heartbreaking!). A few weeks after that, Brittany and Drake were gone, too. Again, no one ever contacted us.
In February, C.W. called us to let us know that our materials were all good and everything had been completed, and we were ready for our home visit. The state of Michigan requires the social worker to visit the home and meet all the residents twice. I spent the whole week prior cleaning like a crazy person! On February 25, C.W. inspected our home, measured the bedrooms, met the cat and the dog, and spoke personally first with me, then with Matt. The only problem with our home was that the water heater was turned up too high. We lowered it and the home passed inspection. 3 weeks after the first visit, C.W. returned for the second. When she left, she said everything looked great and that we should be approved in a matter of a few weeks. That was March 18, 2010.
March passed. April came and went...so did May. Every 2 weeks or so we called C.W. to follow-up, and we were always told that as soon as she had her report typed up we would be ready. Waiting was AGONY. I had quit my job in late October 2009 so I could prepare the house for kids and be a stay-at-home mom for the children that the recruiter had said would be in our house "by Christmas." 8 months later, on June 7, 2010, we finally received a call from C.W.: our adoption evaluation was approved. We were finally finished with our part. C.W. told us to continue searching the M.A.R.E. website frequently and make inquiries about any children we would like to pursue.
The process boils down to this: you go onto the M.A.R.E. website to see many of the children available for adoption in the state of Michigan. If you see any you are interested in learning more about, you fill out a short online form and submit it. M.A.R.E. receives the electronic form and then sends out three "snail mail" letters: one to you to let you know they received your inquiry, one to your social worker, and one to the child's social worker. If your social worker thinks it is a good fit, he/she will contact the child's social worker. If the child's social worker thinks it is a good fit, he/she will call your social worker back. (Apparently, there is a lot of "no-news-is-bad-news" in this business; we have been told a few times that if there is no match, it is not confirmed. You just never get called back.) So your social worker and the child's social worker have a meeting and compare notes. If they both think there might be a fit, then you receive a copy of the child's file to read for yourself (M.A.R.E. only posts the very basic information about the child for privacy, of course). If after reading the child's file you feel 99% sure you want to adopt the child, then and ONLY then are you allowed to meet the child. You get one chance to meet face-to-face before you have to make a decision. This is intended to limit stress on the child, so he won't be paraded back-and-forth in front of a lot of prospective parents and possibly face a lot of disappointments. If you decide that you want to parent this kid, you are allowed growing segments of visitations (first for a few hours in his foster home, then maybe a day trip, followed by a weekend at your home, etc.) before the kid moves in with you, and a few more months before the adoption is finalized and you are put on the kid's birth certificate as her/his parent.
As of Monday, August 30, 2010, at 1:20 am, here is where we stand: we have submitted inquiries regarding 22 children and have received definitive NO's or the children have been removed from M.A.R.E. in 7 out of the 22 cases. We have heard no feedback at all for 15 of the inquiries we have made.
22 CHILDREN! We have asked for information on 22 children, and have nothing - NOTHING! - to show for it! It has been over a year since we made the decision to become adoptive parents. We have jumped through every hoop we have been asked to. We have been patient and waited when we were asked to, and we have made ourselves pests with repeated phone calls when necessary. Over a year of waiting...putting off family vacations because we don't know when "the kids" are coming. Skipping business trips with my husband because I don't know when the "the call" will come. Wondering if THIS will finally be the Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter when there will be costumes to make, presents to wrap, eggs to hide. Hoping that "the kids" would be here before school starts in the fall...now wondering if "the kids" will be here for the start winter semester. Wondering if I should go back to school or go back to work since it now feels like it may be years before I am a "stay-at-home mom" instead of a "stay-at-home nothing." Putting my whole life on hold, waiting for "the call" and "the kids," and unable to plan more than a few weeks in advance
As they say, the waiting is the hardest part. Heartbreaking, draining, stressful WAITING.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
Edited by - JessieMae on Feb 09 2011 10:05:16 AM |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 03:46:19 AM
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Speaking as an older sister who has a younger brother who was adopted....please don't give up! (We got him at 3 days old) so neither of us knows the difference. I was 5 at the time
but this particualr agency sounds kind of fishy
Could you find another source/agency in your town?
Maybe this is partly why so many other adopted children are foreign?
The US makes it harder and foreign countries don't have as much red tape?
So sorry
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 06:50:57 AM
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I don't know much about this issue. Just offering prayers. Lots of love.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 07:01:36 AM
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My prayers are with you and your husband.
Is there any government body you can call to check if this agency is really on the up and up? It doesn't hurt to check.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 07:40:55 AM
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Jessie- That is heart wrenching! I know a family that has adopted two children- would you like me to find out what agency they are going through? It might not be a Michigan agency but perhaps God is trying to tell you to look elsewhere? Or perhaps your patience will be rewarded soon. I hope that you have a child in your arms soon.
Honestly if it were me I would call that man that told you that you would have a child by Christmas of last year and let him know that is false advertising.
It's hard. Because on one hand you would like to believe that they are being so diligent for the child's sake but on the other hand it would be just common decency for them to send you a letter or and email any time your inquiry was declined. They could save a lot of paper and money by sending emails with a recieved reciept and read reciept. They could for security purposes even require people to open new email accounts and certify that they would be the only ones accessing it or something.
Anyway- let me know of you would like me to ask my friend what agency she is going through. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Mama Jewel
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Jewel
Sweet Peas Farmette,
Bend, OR
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 08:10:56 AM
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Jessie Mae, I *thoroughly* understand what you're going through & have gone through in many ways. We went through infertility for over 6 years (I don't know if one ever finishes with "infertility" --the pain seems to last. We pursued adoption through Holt (we had sponsored children through them to feel like we had a family). The process took us over 2 yrs (for international adoption). We have two daughters from South Korea and eventually, due to costs, etc, we started doing the foster/adopt program through our state to see if we could help children & if the children's birth parents couldn't/wouldn't go through the state's rehabilitation program, we would be interested in adopting. There are many wonderful aspects to fostering and we had 7 children come through our home in 5 yrs (we ended up being able to adopt our first and seventh foster sons). It was *extremely* a heart-wrenching process. If you have any questions or would like any details, please feel free to email me.
Just wanted to offer you some (((hugs))) and emotional, sisterly support. My belief, after all these years (our oldest is 16 yrs old) is that God has His timing. I didn't/don't fully always understand the why at the time & it's really hard waiting & answering questions & wondering & doubt, etc. *But* in hindsight, when I think about how things evolved, then things become so much clearer, if that makes sense. I do feel that I needed to call the social worker *constantly.* They are busy & unless you stay on their radar, your case often won't get the attention it deserves. I saw it as early mama bear advocation for my children because there will be many o' times that a system will challenge you (say, a doctor or a school) & though you may feel beaten down, you gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps and be that voice and keep being that voice until you feel heard for your family's sake. (((hugs))) & prayers
Farm Girl Sister #1683 Living Simply & Naturally on our lil Sweet Peas Farmette
"Do Everything in Love." 1 Cor 14
http://www.piecemama.etsy.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 10:00:35 AM
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I am so sorry you're going through all this and still don't have a child. I will be praying for ya'll too. This has got to be so frustrating for you. And to be told that it would be soon. It sounds like ya'll aren't getting any help at all. I hope things change real soon.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 12:19:04 PM
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Sisters, thank you SO MUCH for all the words of encouragement. It felt so good to sit down last night and put it all into words...to think about the process step-by-step...to think about all I have been through...it was very therapeutic. And, it's especially nice to get the affirmation that the emotions that I'm having are okay, and that I've not completely lost my marbles (yet!).
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 1:48:43 PM
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I totally know what you are going through. Most of my children are adopted...all as older kids in foster care. The waiting is aweful, the adults you deal with are awful. It is totally worth it in the end of course, but it is a hard road. Have you checked with your county/state DCFS? It is different in different states but they actually HAVE the foster kids/social workers and all. We went through an agency for our first adoption and it was just that much harder..one more layer of paperwork and red tape in my opinion. Anyway..you are past the hard part for sure..all the classes and hoops. Be sure to get evrything in writing, ask a zillion questions.I will happy to answer any questions about anything if you would like. There are a few little things that made things easier for us that may help you. I agree that the websites are usually out of date and just get your hopes up. They tend to "candycoat" the info about the children there as well so please ask questions..lots of them! You are in my prayers. I have loved adoption and I think it is a wonderful way to build a family. I wouldn't change a thing. Hang in there!!!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Windsong
True Blue Farmgirl
309 Posts
LaVonna
Decatur
Tx
309 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 10:09:18 PM
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A few years back I called my brother to tell him that someone had called who needed help finding a home for a dog. He sighed and said he guessed he could ask around. Then he said "maybe you can help me find a home for 3 kids." You know, I am a farm girl. I asked what kind they were? You know, nubian, pigmy? He snapped back No! three little kids...children. I was driving on my long commute to work as I talked to him. He helped out at an attorneys office and they had been appointed their attorney.
I cannot say what came over me. I started down all of my contacts in my phone. Mostly I got voice mail but some live people. I told them that maybe adoption was something they thought of or maybe they knew someone who did. Please pass this need along. The shocking thing was in one days time we found a couple that was so ready to do it. It took two years of them jumping through hoops to get those kids in that home. the process is awful. The parents of these kids were drug manufacturers and dealers. So were their grandparents. The parents gave up parental rights. The adoptive parents did work to get them through the foster program. It would have taken longer otherwise.
Where I live when a child is put in foster care the foster parents have 6 months to decide if they wanted to adopt the children. If not someone else waiting can have the children. Our little children were switched to different foster parents 3 times that equals a year and a half. With a lot of prayer a turn of events happened in a sudden and unseen manner and the kids found their way to the new parents. The system is terrible. Hang in there. And also sometimes private adoptions are made as well. Family Law attorneys would be the helper there.
I do wish you well.
LaVonna
Farmgirl Sister #758
www.windsongwellnessandtherapyshoppe.com
http://sadiesfarm.blogspot.com/
http://healthtalkcafe.blogspot.com/ |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2010 : 10:30:34 PM
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I think our social worker must have picked up on my frustration vibes last night. She sent my husband an e-mail this morning; all of the remaining inquiries we had out have been denied. My poor husband went nuts. He can't believe we've been turned down for one kid especially: a deaf 4 year-old boy and his brother. My sister is deaf, so my entire family uses sign language. She is a social worker at Michigan School for the Deaf. Both my parents have been recognized by the state for their work keeping M.S.D. open and being advocates for special support services for the deaf community. I myself am a former schoolteacher who worked with deaf students in my classes. And we weren't even considered? Aaarrrggghhh!
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 06:28:58 AM
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I don't know if it really explains everything you've gone through, but from this article I found (http://www.judsoncenter.org/template.php?pid=259) it looks like MARE went through a management change at the very time of your first training and application and that can always cause things to get all screwed up in a business. So, it could be that the process has just taken WAY longer than it normally does because your paperwork has been shuffled around from person to person to get to the right person who is now in charge of something that someone else used to take care of. It doesn't explain why nobody ever contacted you if things were taking extra long. That's just wrong. I'm so sorry that you guys have been given the runaround. It's sad, when there are so many children out there needing a safe a loving home, that there are loving parents waiting over a year just for paperwork to get into the right hands and then have child after child slip through their hands in the process. I'm so sorry Jessie :( (((HUGS))) Keep at it. I'm sure it will happen soon!
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Mama Jewel
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Jewel
Sweet Peas Farmette,
Bend, OR
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 07:43:47 AM
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Jessie Mae, That's just crazy. It absolutely makes no sense with your background/family's knowledge & skill base with the deaf community. Honestly, I'd do two things: one call & ask to speak with the manager over all the case workers. I'd have a chronological summary in front of me to say what's transpired and note the lack of communication from your case worker & I would say that I would like to find out the *reason* why we were not considered for the deaf child. This will give better insight into whether your file/paperwork has been properly submitted, is easily accessed or lost in the shuffle. I'm so sorry about all of this.
Farm Girl Sister #1683 Living Simply & Naturally on our lil Sweet Peas Farmette
"Do Everything in Love." 1 Cor 14
http://www.piecemama.etsy.com |
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Windsong
True Blue Farmgirl
309 Posts
LaVonna
Decatur
Tx
309 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 08:11:15 AM
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Jessie Mae, can you call a news reporter in your area? I would imagine that they would LOVE to do this story. Many years ago we were getting the run around on something important. We called a local television station and they sent a reporter out. We were getting calls before the news went to air with the agency trying to settle the problem.
I think the part about being denied the deaf child is news worthy. This is a tax supported agency that needs some light shed on it.
Farmgirl Sister #758
www.windsongwellnessandtherapyshoppe.com
http://sadiesfarm.blogspot.com/
http://healthtalkcafe.blogspot.com/ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 1:06:28 PM
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Jessie,
I was so sad to read about your journey through the adoption system and my heart and prayers go out to you and your husband. Maybe all of the Farmgirl Prayers going up will finally get things moving. I am sorry you are so frustrated and i know you are beyond anxious to start your family.
Please know that you are thought of and prayed for daily by me and my sister.
Bunches of Farmgirl Hugs,
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.artfire.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 1:13:58 PM
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Goodness! This is a heartbreaking story. In Colorado they are constantly advertising adoptions and fostering since there are so many kids in the system. No wonder there is a shortage of willing parents if this is the route they have to take! It does sound like you have passed through the major hurdels so don't give up. God bless you and your husband.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2010 : 2:29:54 PM
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This is terrible. I truly can't believe your were turned down for the deaf child. You know you may just of hit on something though. Why not try for adopting a deaf child again. I can honestly say you would be the perfect family for a deaf child. Your whole family!! Being deaf is not an easy thing to live with. It is scary and makes you so anxious and afraid not to know and understand what may be going on around you. I don't need to tell you that! Do you think there may be somewhere or someone that could help you in this one particular area? What an absolute blessing you and your family would be to this child or children. This is an issue that is so close to my heart. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you want to do, I truly hope it all works out for you soon.
Hugs and Prayers
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2010 : 09:04:19 AM
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Working on the "legalization" side of the adoptions, I can say that dealing with the Cabinet for Families and Children (a state agency) is a bit less streamlined than dealing with an independent agency. We do both--and the wait can be agonizing, but it really should be only about a year.
Have you a Catholic Charities or Catholic Social Services Agency in Michigan? Kentucky has about 6, statewide, that do the screening and placement of the children. I found a link, but do not know where about in Michigan you reside. This would be a good place to start--99% of our adoptions are referred from these diocesean programs, though you do not have to be Catholic to adopt. It is a comprehensive program that allows the birth parents to choose and appoint the adoptive family...not just some random social worker. The goal is to have a home for these children...http://www.catholiccharities-mi.org/
I find the statement that the foster program is specifically designed to "reunite families" quite interesting--and it is atypical for foster children to be reunited. If so, it usually isn't for long and their back into the system before you know it. Almost all of the cabinet (state) adoptions we've finalized have been usually older children, who have been removed from the home, placed in foster and the parental rights ultimately terminated, thus allowing the children to be adopted.
Not trying to pry, but have you paid this service? The application fees and such should be nominal ($250-$300) as set by the state. If their fees are over $10,000 it is questionable, and I would urge you to not loose heart, but look into other avenues. I do adoptions on a daily basis (have 5 sitting in front of me right now)...there are many, many avenues, and a child or children out there waiting for you and your husband.
Best of luck! If you have any questions regarding procedure, I realize that I'm in another state, but it's fairly similar nationwide.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Sep 06 2010 : 4:57:12 PM
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Well, M.A.R.E. has asked for a short family biography and a few pictures of my husband and I for an online registry that can be searched by social workers from around the state. We just submitted them, so hopefully something will come from this.
We also put in for two more little boys. The website says they've been available since February, so I don't have much confidence that they're still available. I'm sure they've been matched with a family by now.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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violetrose
True Blue Farmgirl
960 Posts
Ruth
Epworth
GA
USA
960 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2010 : 3:25:47 PM
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Jesse, I have just found this thread and read your heart wrenching story - my heart goes out to you and your DH. I will have you in my prayers, there is a child/children out there that are waiting for ya'll to be their loving forever parents.
There is so much help available from the other Farmgirls if you have to go in another direction - praying you won't though!
Hugs and prayers,
Ruth
Farmgirl Sister # 1738
God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us!
St. Augustine |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2010 : 11:55:19 AM
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UPDATE:
We got a call this morning from our social worker. She received a call from another social worker who has a 8 year-old boy up for adoption, and they both think he is a good match for us. She is sending his file out today for us to read and decide if we want to meet him. I'll keep you all posted!
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2010 : 12:19:45 PM
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Lots of prayers for you Jessie. Keep us posted.
You can try Catholic Charities if you have one in your area.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2010 : 12:43:32 PM
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Amy, I did try St. Vincent Catholic Charities (it is only blind speculation, but I wondered if my being Catholic was a put-off for Bethany Christian Services, which is Baptist-affiliated). The adoption manager there was very kind in listening to our story, and she offered to review our homestudy if we felt we were not being adequately represented by B.C.S. However, if we chose to go that route we would have to reimburse B.C.S. and our social worker for their time in doing our initial homestudy, which may cost as much as $3,000. If we do not switch agencies, the state of Michigan will pay all our adoption fees.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl
950 Posts
Elizabeth
Novi
MI
USA
950 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2010 : 8:03:31 PM
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Jessie Mae, I will be keeping you all in my prayers that you are matched with the right child/children for your family! It is a great thing the two of you are doing and I am sure it will work out in God's time...keep the faith! I know that the system in Michigan isn't the best, my sister-in-law's parents foster children and it has been sad to hear them tell what kinds of situations the kids they've had go back to, without much change from what they were originally taken out of. I'm hoping for a change in the system someday.
www.theaprondiaries.blogspot.com |
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Family Matters: Adoption PURPLES - UPDATE 2/9/11 |
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Adoption PURPLES - UPDATE 2/9/11
