| Author |
Here's to Your Health:  Caregivers Chat and Encouragement  |
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 16 2011 : 5:37:43 PM
|
linda thank goodness the weather is getting nice so you can step outside and
take a deep breath ilike me
when i get overwhelmed..
hugs and blessings
deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
 |
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2011 : 11:41:19 PM
|
Totally true! I am visiting in the Calif desert. Had very early am coffee out on my daughters front porch. It was a beautiful morning and I just enjoyed the view and the peacefulness! We all need that! Hope all are doing ok? Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 5:52:36 PM
|
hello ladies
i still blessed with a MIL-less home...lol
and feeling good..though alittle guilty for
the wonderful peace i feel ...
next week is the anniversary of my moms passing
and i'll go to the cemetary and put flowers for
her i would plant but the weather is not co operating snow???
can you believe it ...prayers for all of us
deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2011 : 5:08:12 PM
|
All of us and our guilt! I feel it too, mostly for the ill feelings I harbor. Yet, when dealing basically with mentaly off people, it is not competely our fault for feelng the stress that we do. We would not feel the sense of peace that we can have when not having contact with them, if they acted in 'normal' and appropriate ways!! LOL! Can you tell I have had a tough weekend? Ladies, strength, and prayers to all of us!
Blessings, Linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Mar 30 2011 : 8:18:28 PM
|
linda prayers for you as well
an update my MIL will be going to a nursing home soon
because no one can give her the proper care any longer
as she is beyond rational and its scary for everyone
this is the best for all including her as they have round the clock nurses and drs.
she no longer knows anyone and this makes her a danger to herself as she tries to get out of the house
in the middle of the night setting off all the alarms..so you can image the chaos at 3:oo am
shreiking bed alarms and door alarms lights flashing ..lol can only imagine what the neighbors think
than day time totally exhausted and she goes off and walks out of the bathroom naked and
covered in pooh and totally clueless why everyone is shocked and she starts screaming that she is dressed
OMG what a nightmare its been but thank the lord there is a place for her to go and get proper treatment and care for this horrible disease..alittle humor here she was always alittle off ...LOL
but know they can give her a sedative to calm her or whatever they do..plus there are activies and therapy
sessions and relaxation baths all things to keep them calm and happy..and we can see her anytime
and do not have to deal with my SIL who when she has her decides if she will allow my DH to speak with his mom...bit of a control freak..but when i have her she does even bother to see how its going..oh well
we toured the home and it was super clean and very pleasant.. so i'm not concerned
plus other friends have had loved ones there and they raved about the care..my DH is happy with this
and so is my SIL.. well thanks for listening and you are all in my prayers..
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 04:34:26 AM
|
Deborah, my goodness, you have your hands full lately! Will be thinking of you and your family. She will be safer in the nursing home and they will be better equipped to care for her at this point. She seems to be too much of a danger to herself and others. God's strength and blessings to you and your family! Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Mar 31 2011 : 12:35:50 PM
|
First a howling blizzard woke us,
Then the rain came down to soak us,
And now before the eye can focus -
Crocus. ~Lilja Rogers
linda thank you for that it is the right decision
i fear she may turn the stove on or get burned or worse
all the doors have to be locked as she may fall down stairs
or get in to something harmful the cabinets a\have child proof locks
so she does not hurt herself with any cleaners..oh lord what a awful ways to live
children are easier by far because they tend to remember she does not.
she used a hand towel as towel paper thank goodness i caught her before she flushed..yuck
no one is equipped to handle this in a home thats why this is best for all..
blessings and prayers
deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 11:03:31 AM
|
Good morning to all! Hope that everyone is doing ok these days.
In May my mom will be having a hip replacement and staying with my daughter and her family for 2-3 mos. YAY!!! We all will be helping as best we can. Praying that her usual very extremely mean personality will be under control some of the time at least!!
Hope all are having better days in their situations.
Blessings, Linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 10:54:00 AM
|
I am hoping all is going well for all you ladies.
It has been a long month already.
I am having a hard time starting this... I posted in the barnyard buddies under dairy goats and cows about my mother and my buck casper. I was allowing my mother to help with barn chores as she had a goat and horse here. ell out of the blue one day we came home to find she had gotten rid of the goat. I knew this was for attention. I ignored this situation. I continued to allow her to help with chores. While I was milking one day, mom came in and complained how my buck casper got out of his pen. I often allowed my bucks to run with the horses. So I said I would get him in a little while. I really didn't give it a second thought. She then came in and said she got him to go back in his pen. All of sudden we heard this horrible screaming. I ran out of the barn, to find my buck casper laying on his side screaming. My daughter and I ran to his side, I knew it was a broken neck. My mother literally drug him into his pen by his horns breakinghis neck. He passed in my daughters arms. She of course denied this, then said it was due to my goats being sensitive. I am sick. She has appoligized and will not be allowed in my barn yard again. Her horse is still here but we are getting ready to fence in 5 acres done the road and move their cows and horses there.
I can not help but feel this was in some way on purpose.
Yesterday, my dad got sick and even stoped breathing. He is in the hospital. They have ruled out his heart, but we are takinghim to Indy for tests onhis new stints in his neck then they want to take a look at his stomach. He may also have a bleed in his stomach. Of course mom is turning this all around so she can get attention.
I am asking for prayer. We are facing many long days.
Come visit my blog
http://angieruralliving.blogspot.com/
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 5:36:55 PM
|
oh dear angie
your mom does not sound right ...
have you had her checked out by a dr.??
this is more than a cry for attention, this is serious and you should be very careful
my MIL has dementia and she denied doing the terrible thing she did..
until we realized there was a problem ...she lied about everything ..
like people were stealing for food and clothes..she lived alone
there was no one to steal her food ..she would eat a gallon of ice cream and a six pack of soda in two days !!!and say she didn't ..but she did. she threw out her checks and said they were stolen
or hide them we found them in the garbage???or under the mattress this went on..
i told DH she is not right in the head he did want to believe me ..one day she fell and could not get up took her to the er ...i had them test her and sure enough she had dementia..
some times we do not see the problem..
she was always a problem and very difficult person so it made it all the harder to see..
i prayer for you and your df
glad you came to this site we are here for each other..
blessings deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 5:46:51 PM
|
linda
all i can say is prayers and valium...lol
been there...
my sil has my mil since i been working nights and can no longer
take her ...wink wink..
she said she was going to put her in a NH but she has not done it yet ..
not sure what she is waiting for ...they have a bed ready for her..
so i guess maybe she does not want to part with my MILs money..
its so awful i'm so bad but i truly do not feel safe with her here..
there is only so much i can do to be safe..and i don't sleep when she is here
because she sets off the alarms trying to roam around in the middle of the night..
the nurse that comes recommended velcro restraints ..if makes me uncomfortable
on many levels.. but they did in the rehab so she would not hurt herself..
prayers and blessings for all
deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2011 : 10:27:00 AM
|
Well I hope all you ladies are doing well. I have been busy as summer is usually that way.
My dad was recently told he is not to ever work again. So now that they have been here for several months with no money given to us, and has now left his job, I think it maybe awhile before we see any money. It is of course getting harder financially. But we are making it.
My mother has not let up much. She gets a dig in every time she is around me and nobody else is. I know this is to get me to react, but I wont. I cant and I wont. I do feel it does affect me negatively, I just seem to get almost depressed after a lecture on my "behavior". I am 38, no lecture is needed! I have been on my own for just over 20 years, I really dont need her to tell me how to behave.
Well I need to stop complaining and keep working.
Good day!
Come visit my blog
http://angieruralliving.blogspot.com/
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2011 : 12:46:19 PM
|
Hi ladies, Well, it has been awhile hasnt it? With summer and those 'prepare for summer' chores, I think everyone is busy. I was out of the area taking care of some legal stuff and visiting family for a couple months. Back now and trying to readjust again here. My daughter is going to get my mom this weekend. Her surgery will probably be end of the month. She 'plans' on stayin around 4 mos. We will see. To here her its a giant party she will have!! Maybe for her------not for the rest of us. We want to get her rehab and PT done and send here back to her home.
It will be a very, very tough summer.As those of us here understand, dealing with those of mental illness, narcissism is the absolute hardest thing to do.
I pray and hope that all of you who have posted on here are doing ok and the best that you can daily in dealing with our difficult ones.
Take care, and strength to all!!
Linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2011 : 04:17:02 AM
|
I hope everyone is doing good. I pray that all of you have it easier this summer then you thought.
Have a sip of cool tea for me!
Come visit my blog
http://angieruralliving.blogspot.com/
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - May 20 2011 : 04:47:05 AM
|
Ladies all of you are in my prayers. Caring for a ageing and difficult parent, there is just no word to explain it. My saving grace is that the Lord led me here to mjf and all the caring and supporting friend and sisters we have here. Tomorrow my DD and GD and I are going away for a girl weekend. I will let mom know this afternoon. We have family members aware that we will be gone. Please pray that she doesn't come up with a excuse that we need to stay home. I feel like we are so limited to the time the three of us can be together alone. I do hope that what is ahead of all us, will turn some corners and ease up some. Try to have a good day and find some alone time. Hugs,Brenda
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
|
|
|
owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2011 : 09:50:49 AM
|
| What a blessing to find this topic. I've been away from the Farmgirls for awhile due to lack of the internet. Now that I'm back home with my parents, I have an internet connection again. I still need to take the time to read through all the posts. My situation is that I come down to the Milwaukee area and live with my parents for 2-3 weeks, go back to my home in northern WI for a week to take care of things there (I live alone) and then head south again for the next 2-3 weeks. I feel like I live in two worlds. I had to quit my job to do this and I'm self supporting so my parents pay me a small amount to help out. It helps, but no extras any more. I run the whole range of emotions...plus I feel like a child again. "No that's not right, do it this way"..."Did you check your oil?"..."Do you have gas in the car?"...I know they mean well, but I've been divorced and living on my own for the last 16yrs and I'm still alive to tell about it! My Dad is 85 and needs a walker to get around and my Mom is 83 and is on oxygen and they both hate their physical conditions. My Mom tells me almost daily she just wishes she would die. That is so hard to hear. I really have to fight to not get depressed and then I feel guilty if I'm happy while they're not....crazy. Well, that's a brief history. I'm looking forward to reading all of your stories and keeping in touch. It just feels good sometimes to vent. |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2011 : 9:33:52 PM
|
Oh Jan! It is so rough to fight our feelings and not get so completely discouraged isn't it? I hear ya! Take care of you and do the best you can. It is so hard to feel at our best when somene is there to quickly let us know how and why we are wrong! Hang in there and know the farmgirls care. Will be thinking and praying for you! Blessings, linda www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
|
|
owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2011 : 1:07:29 PM
|
| Linda...thank you so much. What a blessing to have an "outside connection". Farmgirls are the best!! |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2011 : 04:03:02 AM
|
Agreed!!!
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jun 13 2011 : 05:45:31 AM
|
Welcome Jan! I know you will find this place a safe one. We are all here for each other.
It was a rough weekend here. My mom was out of control. She cussed, screamed and carried on. We all tried to talk the situation out. It was worse. I tried to tell her she hurts my feelings and it is not neccessary. She said I do not care if you get hurt. My hubby flipped. It really turned into a battle. We are putting up a a door with a lovk between the two floors. Other than medical needs, we will have very little to do with them. I hope we can do this and it helps. I just can not take all the yelling and fighting. It is not in me.
Well I am done venting. I hope you all have a great day!
Come visit my blog
http://angieruralliving.blogspot.com/
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Jun 18 2011 : 5:06:45 PM
|
Thank you Angie for the welcome. It sounds like you really have your hands full. I don't have anything like that going on here. It must really be hard on you to hear that from your Mom. I hope things pick up for you and that you have support when you need it. Good luck.
"He treads the soil, with earth-love in his heart;" Ardon Antony |
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2011 : 02:43:45 AM
|
It has gotten better with the door up. It has stopped a lot of stress.
My mother wants to move out, my father is fine here. He keeps trying to tell her to relax and be quite. It will not happen. She is in need of constant turmoil. I will keep my head up,pray and enjoy life.
I have a lot going on. I have been really busy with real estate and the farm, so I have something to focus on other then all this stress.
I pray for all of you ladies. I hope all of you are doing well.
Come visit my blog
http://angieruralliving.blogspot.com/
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2011 : 05:12:33 AM
|
Ladies I'd like to ask if we all could send prayers to Linda, Her mother is home from hospital and staying at lindas daughters. She can be a little difficult at times. Phyically Linda can't do alot of what needs done, but dealing with the attitude and demands, is really wearing her down. The stress level is very high. Pray for a fast recovery so she can get back home. Hope everyone is having a good day!
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2011 : 08:02:37 AM
|
Brenda, thank you so much!! Really would appreciate prayers. Thank you Brenda for ALWAYS being there for me and my family!!
I hope all of you are hanging in there this summer.
Blessings, Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
Here's to Your Health: Caregivers Chat and Encouragement |
|
Caregivers Chat and Encouragement
