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Here's to Your Health:  Caregivers Chat and Encouragement  |
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n/a
deleted
136 Posts
donna
honesdale
pa
136 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 28 2011 : 7:01:26 PM
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Just sent up a prayer for everyone here that is caring for loved ones.
I had cared for my dear Gramma for 6+ years. It was so trying at times but we did it all out of love for her. She passed away this past January and it has been hard to adjust. There is that "guilt" of being relieved of the burden and the sadness of missing her greatly. Even though she was in a facility we saw her 5-7 times per week. My kids were so young when she came to be near us (5,6,9,11) and so they too were so used to seeing her. Well, it was hard but I would do it again in a minute.
Just before she passed away, my in-laws moved in with us. We renovated our large garage for them as they are getting on in years and both have debilitating illnesses. They are such kind, nice, caring people it is an honor to take care of them---though they don;t really need a lot of caring at the moment. I cook dinner for them and the boys help them carriyng wash and groceries. My FIL has severe COPD and has gotten worse since last August---yet better because he has so much less stress being here with us! It will be so hard on my kids when they pass...but getting to really know their grandparents far outweighs the loss.
In addition to them, my hubby has a chronic illness called Chrone's Disease. He was diagnosed about 6 years ago (about 5 months after my Gramma had moved in with us until we could find a good place for her to be) after emergency surgery showed the disease---they removed part of his intestine and his ilium. No colostomy bag which was such an answer to prayer!!! This disease requires a lot of thought and attention to his diet...basically he is not supposed to eat anything that appears good for him! Sounds funny I know, but it is an absorption issue so he cannot absorb the nutrients from things like fiber, whole grains, etc. All veggies need to be skinless and cooked very mushy. Nothing raw or whole grain...so it is interesting trying to find foods that are reasonably healthy--I think hard is a better word! Plus I then have the temptations of ice-cream and white bread around the house...oh well. We tried The Maker's Diet but it made him SO sick!
He has been hospitalized twice since then and a few ER trips. the meds he takes can sometimes alter his usually chipper personality---steroids are awful! BUT, there are so many people with this disease that are so much worse off than he is! I am very thankful to God for leading us to a great GI! A HUGE issue for him is avoiding getting pneumonia or bronchitis during the cold months!
I guess I shared all that here because it is a place for caregivers and well, I give care :0). it is nice to have a place to post this where people understand. We are in an unusual spot also because of our age. See, I am 45 and the hubby is 44 so we were taking care of my Gramma while also raising our kids...now we still have the kids and have to care for parents. A lot going on in this sandwich family life we have! I will check back here often--I may not always have the time to bring a meal or make a call, but I can always make time for praying for someone!
Just a Brooklyn, NY gal trying to figure out this country thing after 12+ years in the woods of NE PA! Wife of my HS sweetie going on 23 years and mom to the amazing four ages 19(g), 17(s), 14(s), 13(s)!
Donna
Sister # 3062
http://restingunderthepinetree.blogspot.com/ |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2011 : 11:55:42 AM
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Wondering how everyone is doing these days?
My mom had her surgery last month and is recouperating at my daughter's. It has been a wild ride this summer I can tell you! My kids and grandkids have stood their ground with her as best as they can, and I am very proud they have had the courage to do so. For me, I have begun to realize that I am kinda DONE! My mom should be going back home in a month or so. She lives 2 hrs away and I plan on putting up even further boundaries.
Sadly, there comes a point with Narcississtic Personality Disorder and those with forms of mental illness, where I think that you have to just continue on in life without much contact with these people. There is a point to which a person just needs to say NO to the toxic relationship at some point, when your own health and well being is challenged at every turn by continuing a relationship.
Hope you all are doing ok and hanging in there with your situations.
Prayers to all!
Blessings, Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot
Country at Heart |
Edited by - prayin granny on Jul 10 2011 11:57:18 AM |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2011 : 09:33:03 AM
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Was just wondering how everyone is holding up. My mom should be going home next month. It has been a VERY rough ride for certain!! I honestly dont think there will be much of a relationship with my mom after this is over and that would be for the best. How she has treated my daughter and gkids has been just horrible. It has become very clear to all of us that her mental issues and problems are just too much to handle. The only one who can try and help that is herself. Not ever going to happen as she thinks she is fine and the world is crazy, not her. my mom is yelling at my daughter and gkids 24/7. She is never happy. And you 'abide' by her rules and her way of living in her own home or yours, doesnt matter!!! She is truly the most miserable, meanest, and cruelest person I have ever known and yet she is my mother. I used to feel nuts as a kid and it has taken me into my 50's to grasp that it is not all my fault. My kids are finally getting that too. It is just very sad. thanks for letting me vent.
Hope all of your situations are manageable.
God's strength and blessings to all!
Linda
Country at Heart |
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n/a
deleted
136 Posts
donna
honesdale
pa
136 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2011 : 03:38:10 AM
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Aw Linda...I am so sorry things are not so good with your Mom. Having gone through this with my own Mom, I can sympathize and agree that sometimes one needs to pull away from toxic relationships. I have gone nearly 7 years without contact with my mother. It was not as hard as some people think! This was all complicated by my taking in her mother (my Gramma) and caring for her during this time. Somehow, my mother was offended by my taking a responsibility she was shirking---go figure! Anyway...long and short of it is my Mother had started taking proper meds about 2 years ago or so and is WAY more stable than she has ever been (she has bi-polar and many other mental illnesses :0( ). My gramma passed away and so I thought I would take the chance to let the past be and go see her.
Last week I did so and truth is, it was not so bad. The meds allow her to be rational for the most part. So, I will pray that somehow, something will allow your mom to get the help she needs and maybe at some point, you will be able to have a civil relationship with her. It really stinks to have someone around that hurts you and your kids all the time  so again, I commend and encourage you that making a healthy choice for you and your extended family is a good thing---maybe that will help push her towards getting help herself.
Hang in there sister friend 
Just a Brooklyn, NY gal trying to figure out this country thing after 12+ years in the woods of NE PA! Wife of my HS sweetie going on 23 years and mom to the amazing four ages 19(g), 17(s), 14(s), 13(s)!
Donna
Sister # 3062
http://restingunderthepinetree.blogspot.com/ |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2011 : 9:57:32 PM
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Donna, thank you so much for the words of encouragement!! As you well know, its tough when that toxic person is your mom. And those who dont deal with mental illness issues do not understand how we could put up our boundaries, afterall, its our moms! I often think if there was a med to make her somewhat a 'normal' human being? Wow, I cant even imagine!? I am so happy for you that perhaps you can continue a relationship on some level with your mom. You have your plate full and I will keep you in my prayers! Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
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Farmer Judy
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Judy
North Aurora
IL
USA
433 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2011 : 10:25:03 AM
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Hopefully I will post more later. Just know that you are all in my prayers, I've been there with both my Mom and Dad and also my MIL. It's very hard and just thinking back I want to cry for what we went thru and what all of you are going thru.
Judy
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart! |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 08:28:05 AM
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Judy, thank you for your prayers!! Update! My mom went back to her apt yesterday! It is 2 hrs away and the distance is a blessing. She has friends ther that drove out to get her. They are sort of caregivers for her too. They mean well? But enable her terribly. My mom says jump and they ask HOW HIGH!!!!!??? However, better them than us, and that is their choice. My daughter and her family are Very Relieved that this is over now. It has been a very long, hurtful and rough nearly 3 months. But it had taught us a lot and we know have absolutely no probs setting up very tight boundaries for the future, My sincere thanks for all of your prayers and support!! My prayers go with each of you as well. God Bless, Linda
www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Country at Heart |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 3:53:30 PM
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Linda, you know how happy I am for all of you. I'm been right there with you all through all of this and it was just terrible the way she tried to run your daughters home. So glad to hear they finally have their home to themselves now. It is hard and its easy to carry the quilt. But you know that you all did the best you could to keep her comfortable and safe. The meaness is not on the list of honoring our parents. So know that you did what was needed for her good. Enjoy the rest of your summer now without all the stress. HUGS
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 9:15:02 PM
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Brenda, without the countless emails, texts, and phone calls with you? This journey wouldve been even harder!! Your never ending support and strength has been God's gift! You and your family are very special to me and my family! Words cant even express! Hugs! Linda
Country at Heart |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2012 : 8:58:28 PM
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| ...deleted by the author, since she realized the in-activity |
Edited by - Karrieann on Aug 16 2012 9:53:59 PM |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2012 : 04:54:28 AM
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Karrieann,
If you still want to share? I'm sure that many Farmgirls are in chronic health/caregiving rolls out there!
Maybe it's time to activate this thread again?
Farmgirls are the very best support system!
Farmgirl hugs,
Linda |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2012 : 07:35:23 AM
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Ok!
Thoughts and prayers for you!
Checked out your blog and love it!
My family loves bassetts as well, my daughter and her family have had Dodge since he was a puppy.
When my kids were growing up, they had Jake! Bassetts are so much fun!
Being older and in an apt now......my pets are 2 cockatiels that I am just loving and trying to work with and tame. They are getting there, lol!
Have a great day and whatever your situation, you are in good thoughts and prayers!
Farmgirl hugs,
Linda
Country at Heart |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13631 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13631 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2012 : 4:35:43 PM
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Thought about this thread just yesterday . . . and the one I "retired" in the prayers section about my sister.
After 4 years and one month I am ending my "career" as a caregiver for my sister. (It's a VERY, VERY, VERY LONG story)
I am burnt out in a big way and it's time to close that book in my life
Please pray for me and the transition.
Thanks much!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com
from my hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
the "Purple Thistle" http://www.ceejay48.etsy.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
Edited by - ceejay48 on Aug 18 2012 4:36:05 PM |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2012 : 7:56:27 PM
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Cj,
Absolutely will be praying for you as God guides you into this new transition!
Farmgirl hugs,
Linda |
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Here's to Your Health: Caregivers Chat and Encouragement |
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Caregivers Chat and Encouragement
