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Family Matters:  illiterate 8 year old  |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 18 2010 : 12:58:39 PM
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This has been sticking in my craw for a long time and last night really almost pushed me over the edge.
We hosted a social gathering at our place and our godson, his kid sister and dad crashed the party. I was totally unprepared and felt weird 'cause all we had was adult type food and heavily laced punch.
What kills me, is the dad and mom who are separated will take these kids to all kinds of adult gatherings, while the son is STILL "homeschooled" and cannot read worth a toot. It's awkward to have his 4 year old sister say her brother can't read. Looks like someone needs to spend more time getting their kid into school rather than appear unnanounced at social gatherings
The son kept on going back for the home made blackberry pie I had made. So I made a "deal" in front of his dad, my hubby and his sister...saying that i'd make thie kid not one but TWO blackberry pies for his very own if he would go to the library and pick out a book and learn to read it all by himself. We "shook" on it...but i'm doubious.
Half of me wants so badly to give the mom a facebook message 1. at not giving any warning that her crew showed up unnanounced when she said she had to work late and gave no indication that the other 3 were going to show up. (they are split and live in different houses) 2. it put me on the spot and I had to watch these kids devour chips and sweets all night long (rather than a decent meal) and 3. I so want to up the ante and say the kids cannot come back to spend the night unless the eldest boy lears to read.
We did the same kind of thing for his sister when she was learning to use the potty. It workd, so she and borther spend the night.
BUT here's the kicker. My husband is so madly in love with these kids and he would KILL me if I even so much as squelched any future plans for them to spend the night. I get tired of listening to the whining, being bossed around with no pleases or thank yous, standing on furniture, cleaning up their messes and total disregard for manners or our home.
When they spend the night, if it were not for the dog, I'd check into a hotel in town and call it a night.
Am I totally crazy and just expecting too much?
Any suggestions? Any way to foresee and come up with a compromise?
I will speak to my hubby tonight, but I really do not want these issues glossed over if he should bring them up to the mom. And she is just psycho enough that if I got mad and did send an inflaimatory message, she'd probably deny hubby all visiting trips and it would be totally my fault. I don't want to drive a wedge, I just want a lttle respect...and above all for the durn kid to get enrolled into a school! I thought illiteracy was a thing of the past.......guess not |
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Mama Jewel
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Jewel
Sweet Peas Farmette,
Bend, OR
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2010 : 2:47:23 PM
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Hi Anna. It sounds like it was a hard situation & you were put into a predicament by the attending adult (the dad). I hope I'm coming across gently enough, because I know we all need a place to feel we can vent. But you also asked some questions, so I'll give you my two cents & hope that this will help. It sounds like the feelings of being upset were put more onto the children rather than where it belonged, on the adult. If it had been my party, I would've taken the dad into the kitchen privately to say that this party is for adults only & that I would enjoy setting up a time to have the children and him visit, that I would call or he can feel free to call on such-and-such day, after we've both had a chance to look at our calendars. The kids are only going where the dad brought them too. And in typical kid-fashion, they were excited to see you, excited by the food, noise, excitement in the air and totally unaware that they're intruding on what was intended to be an adult-age party.
The illiteracy part of this is a hard one for me to address because I'm so personally involved in a similar situation, so please bear with me. Very emotional for me. I have 3 sp needs kids (all 4 of my children are adopted with 2 of them from the state system where their backgrounds are pretty harsh). My son who will be 8 next month still struggles to read (would be considered "illiterate") & we are a home school family. He has ADHD, dyslexia, LD (learning difficulties) & SPD (sensory processing disorder). It's very hard in so many situations (esp socially). Kids at church aren't always the friendliness and he's not aware that children move away from him or make him their ball boy (as in go fetch the ball for us). He has no stranger danger (though he's been taught it & modeled it so many times) & he "got away" from me once at the library & went off with someone & the whole library had to send out an emergency message to track him down. I could tell dozens of stories, but I won't. It's just very hard. Many people, including my mom, question our home schooling him (even though my oldest daughter who's *not* sp needs, represented the state of Oregon *twice* in the National Spelling Bee & even though my other daughter who also has ADHD/SPD has worked her tail off & managed to make it into the Nat'l Honor Society), but I *know deep in a mother's heart* that home schooling him would be the best gift I could give him since he struggles so.
I'm just wondering if your dear god son has learning difficulties. I know if anyone offered an incentive/treat, no matter how hard he'd try, he wouldn't be able to get that treat & it would be heart-breaking. I hope through guidance and acceptance, this little guy will be given a chance to be evaluated (it's free through the school system) & see if the school can get him some services that will help him be more successful at school.
As for not wanting your home to be disturbed, I can understand, so maybe meeting at a park for a snack and some memory-making time by either your husband & the kids or you all? That might make for a good compromise that you were hoping for. It's sad when there are difficulties such as what is happening between the mom & dad and the children are caught in between, a bit lost, not knowing where they're going to be shuttled to and who will want to be with them. I hope & pray that my tone has been respectful and that I've said something that possibly helped.
Farm Girl Sister #1683 Living Simply & Naturally on our lil Sweet Peas Farmette
"Do Everything in Love." 1 Cor 14
http://www.piecemama.etsy.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2010 : 4:11:59 PM
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Ahhh very good words of wisdom.
And here's a bit more of the puzzle, and you'll see why I get so upset at least about the illiteracy part.
I too am LD...mostly with math so I totally sympathize with special needs kids no doubt. What's so maddening is that this mother had set out with the best of intentions and in her own selfishness, lost her kids along the way. Bother are extremely bright and maybe slightly average to above average. The husband is self employed and has racked up a lot of debt trying to get his business to stay up and running. Tree work is very lucrative, but taxing physically. So when he has been working al day and faces the kids, as you can well imagine, he is whooped. The mother on the other hand quit her job at the zoo when she was preggers and wanted to be her child's mother. VERY admirable and in my opinion, the best thing for the child,,,really. But when he became 5, he still was not enrolled in any kind of scructured schooling. I know most hard core home schoolers have some sort of regulated curriculum too don't they???
AND on top of all this, the mother wanted security, a better home situation as far as a more stable father figure, and a better physical home structure. The little cottage they had first purchaed had all 3 of them sleeping in the same bed until the little boy got older. The house was only 1 bedroom, a small kitchen and an add on bathroom. I know some cultures do this, but when their daughter was born, they clearly needed more space.
So as could almost have been predicted, she has "left" her husband....still not divorced with a capilal D (so still technically married) and has been living rent free with some other guy for about a year and a half now and is not really putting the screws to her children as far as manners go...nor is she riding herd on her husband to make sure they get adequate meals, bedtimes and the needed structure and discipline they need when they stay with him. According to my hubby, the inside of that tiny house looks like a bomb went off.
So anyway
It would have been REALLY awkward to have sent them away last night -even though they were first to arrive, and hubby would have been livid at me for doing so.
And to a point I can completely understand all the running around and cutting up.....that's fine. We were all kids once. When they spend the night, they are allowed to do this until bedtime. But the gimme, and I want, and no please or thank you just crawls all over me!
So i figured a little venting here and perhaps some good advice on all the issues will help cool me down a little and perhaps help preserve an otherwise good relationship with these friends.
And I asked hubby about the no spending the night until the boy reads ultimatum.....of course it didn't fly. Kind of thought it wouldn't. Never mind how a no spending the night until potty trained worked for the sister. That's where I got the idea.
So thanks for the thoughts and comments and words of wisdom. Please keep 'em coming!
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2010 : 4:26:45 PM
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I agree with Annab's concerns and Mama Jewel's feedback. So much has been written here, that needs no contradicting or repeating.
That said, my son read a bit late- he got extra help in second grade to get on track- and then read way, way, way above grade level and readway, way, way more books a year than his peers, from there on in. He has multiple learning disabilites that were not diagnosed by the school, ever. I had to pay a private doctor- in my case, at a vision therapy clinic run by a behavioral opthmologist, for diagnosis and treatment. Homeschooling would not have been an option for me. I was a single mother with no education and no child support, so I needed the classroom hours for my son while I worked, studied- or slept after working nights! He was not easy to teach due to his LD stuff, so it would have been very stressful for both of us. Homework alone was a nightmare!!!
The school system will not test until there is evidence of failure. We never got the testing we needed through the schools- they let us down , breaking the law in the process. That's another story. If the young boy were enrolled in school, help may not come overnight but help would be free and perhaps your local school system would be more responsive.
It sounds like the father is in way over his head with responsibilities, and needs help from someone, somewhere!
~ Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2010 : 6:31:58 PM
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Yes, and sadly, the father also worked at the same place and would have had the same benefits. He quit due to a personality conflict, and that person ended up leaving a few months later anyway. We all worked at the same place...hubby and I still do. The benefits aren't great, but a state job these days is an almost guarantee as far as staying employed and earning a paycheck and some medical coverages.
Now, the father must work or no income comes in, and the mother has no "real" job either. Sad how she climbs all over him and yet hasn't held down a real job herself and is shacking up with her boyfriend. Some example for the kids don't you think?? Their financial situation has been the case since 2001. But the live-in part has only been recent w/in the past year. The husband is an arborist. Both have horticulture backgrounds.
And that's what's soooooo frustrating! If she would only enrol her kids in A school SOMEWHERE, it would free her up to work and her kids would be getting the necessary education and a little in the way of discipline and structure! Heck, thanks to us, mr and mrs tax payer, the kids would be getting at least 1 hot meal a day for free too!
So hubby and I try and do the best we can, and it's so hard for me to not let the prejudices i feel toward their parents trickle over.
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2010 : 8:17:00 PM
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Here's my feel on it, it's your home and you have a right to make rules for your home.
I've had wild, wild, wild kids tamed in my house. So much so when people who knew them with their parents and seen them with me, literally could not believe they were the same children!
There is ways in which you can discipline in your own home, and teach them some things in your own home-ie the please and thank yous. Just keep reminding them, IE I want..you can say, what do we say when we want something? We say, may I please...and then have them repeat it, and just keep doing that every time. It doesn't have to be big and nasty, just small kind gentle reminders. Then when you give it to them, again remind them...what do we say? And teach them thank you. Also make sure you do the same with your hubby and vise verse in front of the kids-say please and thank you to each other in other words, and to the kids.
On to reading, boys often have a harder time learning to read then girls, it's a proven fact, often boys can't read till around 8 or 9 then something clicks in them and they can all the sudden. It's odd. Personally all the boys in my family has never had this problem, but I know from other families I've heard this countless times.
Instead of him teaching himself......which I really don't know how a kid would teach themselves something like reading.....why not go to a used bookstore and pick something up and do some little lessons when he visits. I did that with my youngest sisters, and my mom was so grateful. They are in school, BUT, they just came to this country 2 years ago at the ages of 8 and 10, and learning to read on top of having to learn English just to communicate with us, was a doozy. So when ever I went to visit, I would spend a lot of time reading to them, and teaching them to read as much as I could.
When they spend the night, do you do story time? Setting the example is the best way.
As far as the 4 year old going around saying her brother can't read....sounds like she notices that gets a rise out of people and probably why she goes around announcing it.
BTW, I've had foster kids way worse then what you describe. School wasn't the be all end all for them. I had one foster son come to me at 4 and wasn't even speaking yet! He was IN school for years by that point! I had him talking with in months. The speech therapist asked me what I had done. She had been working with him for like 2 years. I said, I talk to him, ALL the time, every day. I would just make conversation with him, even though I knew he wouldn't talk back, about every little thing we did. We would walk to the park, store, etc, and every day we had to pass this yard with a big dog that would bark at us. I would say, look dog, dog. Dog says bark, bark. lol that was his first sentence! lol
He's around 20 now, and still remembers me! He is one of them, where the welfare worker asked where he was when she came to visit. And I said, he's right there. And she said where, I said sitting in that chair right there! And I pointed at him like 3 feet away from her. She said, that is Quentin???? I said, yes that is him. She said she couldn't believe it, she for sure thought it was another kid. She had never seen him so well behaved. And well......normal child looking! She had been his welfare worker at that time for 3 years. That was her first visit with me after he came to my home!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
Edited by - MagnoliaWhisper on Jul 19 2010 8:24:28 PM |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 03:16:03 AM
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You gotta love a good comeback story, that's for sure!
We do have story time. So what I think we'll do is we'll read one, ansd then help him with the other.
And yes, siblings do know what buttons to push for sure!
So we'll continue be the best examples we can and maybe our example will rub off in their own home lives. |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 12:00:24 PM
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Thanks for the inspiration, Heather!!! I LOVE stories like the ones you've shared.
Anna B, I've known people who homeschool to " live a lifestyle" while the kids run wild and lack for basic parenting and day to day necessitities. It drives me CRAZY! It makes homeschoolers look bad unfairly. I'm sad for these kids. We did not have TV when my son was growing up- stories and interacting helped make him the person he is today.
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 12:13:26 PM
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Thanks Gals. He's a very normal adult now. I'm very proud of him.
Anna, sounds like a winner of a idea to me. Yes, buy several books, I get as many as I can for cheap/free for my daughter. My oldest daughter is only 3, but she has a HUGE book collection much bigger then her toy collection. She gets read a book every night, most times more! lol haha I figure with the imagination that books build she doesn't need so many toys. And she really doesn't. She gets so excited about getting new books! I always tell people to get her books instead of toys when they ask about gifts. My parents know for sure please don't load us up with toys but bring on the books. I also though do have a few rules for the books though-Golden Books and Dr. Seuss are of my favorites! I don't like "cheap" ones too often as they often don't make sense and do not use proper English, or grammar. So the old classics is what I keep it to.
I like to thrift shop for them, and also Khol's has good books, for only 5 dollars! Books, like the Dr. Seuss ones that are worth a lot more then the 5 dollars they sell them for. The money supposedly goes towards charity as well. So a two fold bonus when buying them from there.
I love the idea of one book you read and one for him. Just make sure you get level appropriate ones for him to read back to you.
We often give books as gifts, and it's just a general lack of appreciation pretty much for books on a whole in society today. Mom's usually look confused by the gift, and children are less then enthusiastic about our gift of book/s. Meanwhile my daughter is all smiles and excited telling them all about the book we just gave them, and confused about why they aren't just as excited about receiving a book as she gets.
I think it's sad, but I don't think parents read to their children any more either. They just shove a ton of toys at them, and set them in front of the tv and that's that.
We won't detour though, we will continue to give books as gifts rather then add to their mountain of toys/dvds! Maybe one kid will actually get read to, and learn to love reading.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
Edited by - MagnoliaWhisper on Jul 20 2010 1:04:57 PM |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 1:01:23 PM
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ok I just thought of something, 8 year old boys LOVE LOVE LOVE Mad Libs! Why not buy a few of those, and play those when they come over.
Also I know I had one of my husbands cousins actually tell me, my kids just don't like books like Lela (Lela is my daughter). I was like yeah no kidding! lol But, I didn't say that. I just said oh. She then informed me her kids would rather get, x, y and z. Little does she know I will NEVER buy X, Y or Z for her children, as I would never buy those products for my own children, and my husband would have a fit if I ever threw money away on such garbage. My husband isn't a tyrant by any means, but he has a pretty high moral standard for children and what we buy them. So it's just the world today sadly.
Also I was sitting here thinking, my daughter gets so excited when he Hi-Five magazine comes! She is only 3, so she gets Hi-Five, but for 8 year olds there is Highlights magazine, and also some others, I'm trying to remember I think Humpty Dumpty Magazine is for his age.
So just a thought......but why not get him subscriptions to those magazines for his next bday/xmas instead of the usual toys. I personally LOVED those magazines when I was little and that's what my grandparents always got me instead of toys. At my grandparents house had a small box (maybe 1 square foot, it was small enough I could carry around) that had ALL my toys in it for their house. It was mainly ambulance figurines! lol haha As I wanted to be a nurse! haha And then I had a few hand made dolls grandma made for me. For bdays and xmas grandma always gave me the subscriptions to highlights and humpty dumpty, and great grandma made new clothes for my before mentioned hand made dolls.
I'm not that old...and I hear all the time, times have changed kids don't like that any more. Mine do! It's all in what they are exposed to and how people raise them as to what they will like and not like.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 6:10:33 PM
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MAD LIBS! Now that's good! I still love playing those. May have to try that too. It also reinforces basic English skills
And I actually have a smallish children's book collection, so I may dig those out. Most are nature based.
And you know, growing up , our parents read to both me and my brother. In fact, I remember very vividly my father reading, yes, READING the original Star Wars book to me way back in 1977. I still have that book. The pages are thin and yellowed. And looking back on it now, it was our dad who did all the bedtime reading....I guess while Mom got herself some "me time".
Some frineds of ours also read to their little girl- 3 books every night. She will start kindegarden in August, and is already reading. it makes such a HUGE difference to actually have parents or just the one deadicated parent if you are a single make this a habit. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 20 2010 : 6:32:31 PM
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Yeah the mad libs is not much reading (quick reading) but may just get his interest enough to want to try harder to learn to read, cause reading can be FUN! ;)
Same here it was my dad who did the reading to us as well. lol We all went to the library together once a week. But, dad did all the reading. When we went camping he did the story telling too. lol ;)
The nature based book sounds good. You know I am always seeing the Hardy Boys and the like at used book stores too, so maybe pick up a few of those when you are at the next thrift store too.
I think motivating with example and exciting things that show how much fun reading can be is what just might put him over the reading hump! :) I never met a boy who didn't love mad libs, and that's what mad libs is all about learning how to use the English language and how hilarious it can be when used in the wrong way! lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Jennifer Q.
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Jennifer
Irmo
SC
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2010 : 9:32:34 PM
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| It sounds like a sticky situation... Sorry! Recently, tonight albeit, I read an article on children or students who have learning disabilities. As it goes, students who have a learning disability, or inability to read, struggle with their response to interventions/instruction not necessarily the discrepancy between their ability and current achievement. Sometimes motivation, such as a pie, can make the situation worse despite the good and loving expectations. One book that I have read said it best: The Secret Life of the Dyslexic Child. Has anyone assessed his reading ability for his age expectations? I was a late bloomer myself but luckily received special education services early to reduce the implications of my disability later on. The longitudinal study (20 yrs in the making) foci is on the effects of early intervention and the inherent implications. Please email me if you want some ideas of interventions, but an assessment with a special education teacher would carry a lot more weight in getting him on track. |
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Old Spirit
True Blue Farmgirl
1498 Posts
Rae
MN
1498 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2010 : 2:44:52 PM
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Dick and Jane books are awesome for kids learning to read. I have bought a couple and my grandkids always borrow it when they are getting ready to read. It is an accomplishment that they can feel right away as it is just one word at a time. Just my 1/2 cent worth ;-)
Rae
Farm Girl #647
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2010 : 07:14:14 AM
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He can read single, simple words, but not sentinces.
And no, he hasn't been evaluated....his mother just isn't teachng him like he ought to be.
It killed hubby and me both when the child was recently talking about his new art class! WHAT!?!?
Come to find out, it's just a little time filler at the pool where the mom works. but he and his sister take dance classes,art classes, soccer and just about everything else NOT school related
So how about story time at the library or a READING class!?
Get my point now?
She's CLUELESS about how important this issue is! |
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Jennifer Q.
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Jennifer
Irmo
SC
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2010 : 11:43:19 AM
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| Bummer! Good luck trying to help them both! |
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Old Spirit
True Blue Farmgirl
1498 Posts
Rae
MN
1498 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2010 : 12:09:11 PM
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I work spec ed so deal with learning problems all the time but the parents also have to do their part. So often now parents expect the school to work miracles, they do nothing at home to help and often have the excuse of just didn't have time to do homework last night and you don't even want to know why...
Any kind of fetal alcohol syndrome makes things even worse as very hard to teach but repetition often works well which is why I always liked the Dick and Jane books, old, tried and usually worked. It is hard when people don't take homeschool serious. We homeschooled our youngest grades 11 and 12 as she wasn't challenged at the local school and I just wasn't happy with what was being taught, yes I work there. We took it very serious though and it paid off big time. You can put extra time in on those difficult areas for you kids which was so nice.
Good luck
Rae
Farm Girl #647
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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Leilaht
True Blue Farmgirl
155 Posts
Elizabeth
Highland
MI
USA
155 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2010 : 12:51:16 PM
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My kids both knew how to read before they started school, and my son is AD/HD and tested at low normal intelligence. You just have to put the effort in and apparently she isn't going to. As far as behavior, it is your house. They follow your rules or they get nothing. If my kids asked me for a drink etc... I would just look at them until they said please and didn't let go until I heard thank you. I still remind some of the people I work with. Please and thank you never hurt and go a long way toward getting what you want.
Liz
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Proverbs 31:25 |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2010 : 10:02:48 AM
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Received news that the children will be enroled into a performing arts school in SOuth Carolina and not here in their home town.
Still, not sure what the wake up call qwas, but the mother FIANLLY got off the dime and will also trying to work.
The husband has also put in a application to work w/ a tree company down there too. But each of their homes here will continue to be maintained too. Strange
Pity they can't seem to make it work here.
My husband is sad that there won't be many more unscheduled sleep overs and Friday afternoon play dates.
I'm still in shock
Happier though that the kids will be in school. So next time we see them for a sleep over at our place, I'll be able to make good on my promise and bake those pies!
Stay tuned |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2010 : 4:10:24 PM
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Keep us posted!!!!!
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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Jennifer Q.
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Jennifer
Irmo
SC
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2010 : 11:36:32 AM
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| I am glad to hear that! Hopefully they can get caught up quick! Thanks for the update. :) |
Edited by - Jennifer Q. on Aug 10 2010 08:58:55 AM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2010 : 8:10:08 PM
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Hello girls!
"Bob" Books are a great tool to help kids learn to read. I have given several copies to friends over the years when their children were having trouble. We've always had great results. There are many different levels, they are very, very simple and include pictures. They are fun, which really makes a difference - especially when the child is struggling!
My sister-in-law and I homeschool our kids, my eldest nephew is the same age as my son. When the boys were young, she was absolutely disheartened and dismayed that her son wasn't whizzing along like mine in reading. I well remember her frustration and worry. Having support of family and friends really helped her and my nephew through. She finally came across the Bob books through another homeschooling parent in her co-op, and they made all the difference. He continued to have so much difficulty with each year's increasing requirements, that she and my brother finally talked to the doctor and had him tested for learning disabilities. They found out he has dyslexia and has since had a special counselor helping him with reading and math, and he's doing wonderfully now! You just never know. Anyhow, the Bob books can be found at virtually any book retailer and eBay. Maybe giving them as a gift to the child and sitting with him will be a great thing! :) If you need help finding the books for you, I'd be happy to help or even send them to you - just let me know! :)
As far as the homeschooling end, I'm not sure what NC law is, but I do know here in PA the laws are pretty strict - each year you have to show your school district that your child is showing progress. You can contact the school district to find out what their requirements are, and they will definitely point you in the right direction if you share you concerns. :)
Hugs,
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2010 : 03:36:15 AM
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The mother never did go through the proper channels. She just thought that buying those kids activity books like what you see in the kid's section in Border's would qualify
She admits to this failure now
Good news is, the boy will most likely go through some kind of formalized testing and the teacher will be more than willing to work with him to get him up to speed.....or he may be assigned a tutor, not sure
Some friends of ours will be throwing a going away party this weekend for the family.
It's still kind of odd. The husband (still not living w/ his family due to the boyfriend) accepted a full time tree service job, so he'll be needng a place to live.
This story 'aint over by a long shot, but at least the father will be employed by someone else now = job security
Sadly, the "family" dog will have to find a new home. He never was given proper attention. Luckily I have friends who work with our local Humane Society and may be able to rehome him. |
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corrabelle
True Blue Farmgirl
71 Posts
Corrabelle
Hamilton, Morrowville
ontario, Kansas
71 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 2:40:39 PM
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My kids are homeschooled so this post hits close to home. My oldest is slightly delayed in reading because of an eye problem, which has improved a great deal with some exercises. He's eight now, can read almost at his expected level now, although he just doesn't really "like" reading.
Also, keep in mind, boys do not always catch on to reading as early as girls. They don't always share the same desire, and their minds are not working at the same levels as the girls their own age. I've known several little boys who didn't really *get it* until they were about 10, all of which have become very knowledgable adults.
I would, if I were you, go ahead and play reading games with him (we like phonics bingo, sight word bingo, hang man and mad libs) and continue to read with him when you get the chance.
If you do confront their mother, I urge you to do so gently and with caution. This really is, bottom line, her decision, and her child, and she deliberately chose this for her family because she thought this was best for them, which is her right as a parent.
It sounds as though they're in a rough spot in their lives, which hopefully will become brighter sooner than later.
And while you feel that enrolling him in school would offer some stability and a better education,this isn't always the case. (I'm not sure what schools are like where you are, but here they're failing miserably to teach basic math and reading.)
The school system also isn't always the most stable place for a kid who's been through the ringer.
Yes, there's a routine. However, there can also be bullying, anxiety, total misunderstanding for the material being taught (which means he could start to fall through the cracks really quickly without anyone noticing..) I'm a homeschooler, so I have a really long list.
Be a gentle nurturer to this child and your advice will probalby be much more welcome when push comes to shove. You don't live with them, so inconsistant bouts of bribery/parenting may not work very well.
You do want to continue to see these children (or at least your husband does), so please approach this with an open mind and a willing heart.
Corra
A Kansas gal living in Ontario. Sigh. |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 3:57:28 PM
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Hmm if he likes comics and graphic novels maybe get some of those as gifts. Some kids are just not readers and it's hard to convince them this is a skill they really need to develop. But like anything small steps and if he feels supported in his efforts he'll make it through
Do you know if he's had his eyes examined?
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 03:42:46 AM
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I'd never think of calling out the mom. Her own mother and sister are already critical of the decisions she has or has not chosen to make. The mom is kind of "off" anyway and gets SUPER defensive and combative. The last thing we want to do is drive a wedge between us and the kids.....so we crab to each other and keep our mouths closed otherwise
Hubby and I continue to be supportive for the kids' sakes.
After their first day of school this past Monday, the kids called us with updates. Each had a wonderful time, and the younger sister was very tired. She's usually very peppy, so even through the phone we could hear it had been a long day.
Will be interesting to see them in a few weeks and hear all about it in more detail.
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Family Matters: illiterate 8 year old |
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illiterate 8 year old
