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Across the Fence:  How Do You Do It?  |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 24 2010 : 6:48:40 PM
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I can't even seem to get my house cleaned and everyone fed by 7:00 each night. I never seem to have time for my garden, my crafts, my reading, goin into town, bakin ahead, learnin new things, or much of anything else.
I so want my house cleaned and laundry done and dinner cooked, but I also want my garden growin and to learn to bake bread. I would love to bake muffins and pancakes and stuff ahead of time for the freezer. I wish I could make up a bunch of stews and things for busy days to keep frozen.
I know my house is beyond disorganized, okay it's total chaos. I don't know how to handle it. I can't seem to take hold of it and make it mine. Make it workable. Make it where we're not livin out of boxes piled all over everywhere! There doesn't seem to be any space to put things. I just don't understand!
When I try to do everything I wind up fallin into bed at midnight or 2am without a bath and then I can't seem to get back up in the morning.
Then there's tryin to do the homeschoolin too. I try to work in as much as I can, but I feel like I'm leavin so much out.
I so wish there was a farmgirl who lived close to me that was an organizer who could fix this mess for me.
How do all you other girls do it?
How can you fit everything into your week?
I feel so behind all the time, then I get disgusted, then I give up completely and let everything go to crap for days till I can't take it any more. What follows that is a 2-3 day whirlwind cleaning, scrubbin, puttin away, semi-organizin fit that goes day and night till I collapse into bed and sleep for days. Thank God my 15y/o is here to care for the baby when this happens.
I need help, suggestions, advice on gettin ahold of my life and my house.
How have you taken ahold of your life?
How do you organize a house?
Please, any help would be so appreciated.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2010 : 7:05:14 PM
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Try looking at the site www.flylady.com
There are suggestions for taking it one step at a time. I know there are other farmgirls who use the site and daily reminders they send out because I've seen posts about it. A lot of us feel overwhelmed but there are strategies for 15 minutes at a time, gradually developing good habits that can help. There are warnings about not trying to do everything at once (crash and burn) and a lot of encouragement about simplifying our lives, and as a former home-schooler and gardener there are a limited number of hours in a day. If you can get some basics down to automatic there's a lot less to worry about.
I'd classify myself as a fluttering "flybaby". I've gotten help with some basics. Feel free to send me a private message if I can be of any help.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2010 : 7:36:38 PM
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My dear, take it one step at a time...start a project and finish it before you start another, work in one room at a time, till its completed. Then go to the next, don't try in have it all done in one week or even in one month. Make it a habit, when you take things out of where they are kept, you never walk away when you are finished with them, till they are put back where they go. Most of us Farmgirls have found that storage comes at a premium, you need to use your imagination to find places for eveything. I have a small house (928 sq ft), I raised 4 kids in this house, if you don't use it, get rid of it, if you don't even remember getting it, well you get the picture... I don't know your land situation, but if you can build storage sheds or use semi trailers for storage, put in shelves and get plastic tubs and label them. I know alot of the girls on here are like me, we clean our kitchens and bathrooms as needed, as far as the rest of the house goes, thats a winter time project, cause thats when we have a few extra hours in the day, cause our places are sleeping till spring. Pick one day a week to cook your stews and soups for freezeing, another day for baking, I have had 4 stews cooking at once on my stove for the freezer and at least 6 loaves of bread at a time, and not all of us do bread completly the old fashioned way, we use bread makers too. While the bread is rising, make pancakes for the freezer, or muffins. You have to get into a routine and stay with it, you have a 15 yr old, they can help out alot, laundry, some basic cooking and of course cleaning, they need to learn it all anyway, wether they are male or female. Slow down and take your time to figure your routine, and as you step in place, it will start to go faster, and easier, its not worth working yourself into a frazzle over, things will keep and you don't have to be superwomen.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2010 : 8:00:30 PM
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The fly lady is awesome!!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 06:24:46 AM
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Angela, you have a lot on your plate. 1badmamawolf has some excellent advice. The best thing to do is simplify. You need to do a purge and only keep what you really need. I have been doing this for the last couple of years. A little difficult, condisdering my DH is a bit of a hoarder, but he is slowly coming around. Ever since we started to live a more self sufficient lifestyle, we have aquired quite a bit of equipment...canners, food dehydrators, survival gear, etc...trying to organize and store it all is a bit daunting. Once you get the house cleaned out you need to have a routine. I just clean as I go, if I see it, I clean it. I do a lot more deep cleaning organizing in the winter. Spring, summer and fall are for gardening and harvesting and canning. I wish you luck, if I was closer I would come and help you. Go easy on yourself-perfectionism is overated.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 07:25:17 AM
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Both my husband and I work full time, have a 15 month old, 4 dogs, 2 cats and a host of other activities going on (like picking our little one up from her various sitters in the tri-county area!).
Look...I don't sit down, and I'm serious, until about 10 o'clock at night. I don't LET myself sit down--and that's not even because I'm doing anything for me. I try to save errands for Friday nights (my weekly trip to Target for necessities) and Saturday is marketing day where we go to the poultry farm, and the feed store and to the grocery at night when my husband is working. But each weeknight is devoted to a task. Monday night is cleaning the bathroom, Tuesday night is laundry, etc...I vacuum each and every night, with a 15 month old running around, and 4 dogs in the height of shedding season. Last night, I was vacuuming at 10:00!!!
Usually, I get home from work/commute/sitter about 6:30. I try to have dinner done--whether it's in the crockpot or leftovers. I don't wanna think about it, and since it's just Vi and I, it can be less involved than if my husband was home at night. Usually, at this time, I'm still in my work clothes. I do my nightly chore, then dishes, then feed dogs/cats, change my clothes, wash my face, give the girl a bath, a bottle and try to get her to sleep. It's about 9:30 by this time and about 10:30 when she's finally drifting off. And then I'm a sleep to start all over again!!
I also have a full garden of potatoes, peas, lettuces, spinach, beats, onions, etc...and green beans, pumpkins, and more starting for summer. I can jams/jellys (put up 30 batch's of Violet jelly last month) and will do about the same amount of bramble jam in about two weeks time.
I don't HAVE any personal projects going right now-no sewing, no knitting, but I manage to read for about 15-20 minutes before I fall asleep at night, and right now, I'll take it! Most of my time is spent hanging with my daughter and trying to manage the house--and I agree with another poster. My house is lived in. It's not perfect--and I'm not either :)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Jun 25 2010 07:38:37 AM |
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SusanScarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
317 Posts
317 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 07:37:55 AM
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| Angela - You're in a very busy season of life right now. Advice I give my own daughter - turn off the television and computer. Don't chat on the phone. Concentrate on what you're doing but work fast. Don't get distracted and go from one thing to another. We all have about twice the "stuff" in our houses that we need - donate it or toss it. Flylady is a wonderful resource but don't try to do it all at once. Make a weekly menu or or least by 10:00 am each day know what you're having for dinner that night. Take care of those kids and love on those babies because they grow up so quickly. If this Grannie lived close, she'd come help. |
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 08:11:49 AM
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Angela - I can so sympatize with you! You sound just like me! I am in the same boat! My husband is a huge hoarder, things are everywhere!
I have not worked in a year due to disability but things have not gotten any better around here, although due to my disability a lot of times I am not able to doing heavy moving or even cleaning, when I feel good I go full force, but then am laid up for 2-3 days after!
I have men semi-remodeling my kitchen right now (found these guys through a friend), I had to hire someone I dont know because I am so embarassed of the house! We have had several friends want to help but I could not take them up on their offer!
My husband is only fairly handy and in his defense he really does not have the time to keep up with what needs to be fixed as he takes care of his elderly mom; he is at her house 6 days a week, doing things for her!
I could go on and on but you can get the picture! I am anxious to get on that fly...site next and see what they suggest!
Good luck and lets get some sleep! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 08:38:48 AM
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Angela- I think you are getting great great advice from all the ladies. I am constantly fighting a clutter war at my house as well. My husband is a slob and while I appreciate and crave a clean house, I lose motivation easily.
Last year we did "challenges" each day to get something cleaned up and taken care of. How about I start a new thread in the "Cleaning up" section. A lot of the other ladies that participated said it really helped out. The goal is to get that section clean and then make an effort to keep it clean.
One thing I do is concentrate on say the living room for a day. It might take hours of solid cleaning to get a really bad area clean and I am talking scrubbing walls, sweeping the cobwebs from the ceiling, vacumming/shampooing rugs if needed type of clean. Then going forward I spend 10 minutes each day in each area that I have cleaned to at the end of the day to make sure everything is cleaned.
Also I am not sure how old your kids are, but have them help with clean up time. Make them be accountable for their toys.
While I was at the Doctor's office I read an article about a local lady is super organized and how she runs her household. She makes her kids help out around the house but at the end of the day she walks around and picks up all the toys, books, clothes etc that are left out and they get put in the "S.L.O.B" (Stop- Look Around-Organize It- Be Done!) bucket. For good behavior and such they can earn things back for a certain amount of time and then if they are still left out, then they get donated to charity! Here is a link to the article http://www.mydigitalpublication.com/publication/?m=5214&l=1
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 08:57:13 AM
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Angela, take a deep breath. I agree with a lot of the comments the other ladies are giving you. But stop and remind yourself you shouldn't have to do it all by yourself. Children can help, your husband can help. Honestly I love the clean up after a meal with my BF. We do it together and it goes so fast. We play a little too. It's amazing how romantic doing hte dishes can be. hehe.
But not trying to do everything at once is a huge. If you have a crockpot use it. Put a meal on in the morning and then tackle one room and one room only. I always start with my bedroom. If you and hubby and kids can all work together to take care of dishes after supper and clean the kitchen, that is another room you maintain. I do thorough cleanings twice a year. spring and fall, because it is a bit dusty where I live, but as long as dishes are washed, counters are wiped and stove is decent, it's good to go.
Best of luck to you.
Laurie
Best Growing |
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Mama Jewel
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Jewel
Sweet Peas Farmette,
Bend, OR
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 11:50:18 AM
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Lots of good info on the flylady site. Thanks for sharing it, Susan  .
Angela, I can definitely identify with you about feeling overwhelmed. I think that's why I'm enjoying this MJF forum so much as well as MaryJane's books & magazines... she finds a way of balancing keeping things simple in life, but with the attitude of "Farm Girl Plowing Through" git her done. So during the day, I'm trying to do the "git her done" kind of 'tude and then I take an afternoon break when my littlest is napping to relax either on these boards, read or quilt as a treat. I'm 46 (almost 47) & have 4 kids (ages 4 to 16) & one of the things I've learned (both in schooling them & keeping a home) is life's too short to be fretting about trying to do it all (not saying that you're doing this, this applies to my mindset) & to just do the best that I can, enjoy life and each other. My mom kept an immaculate house when I grew up, but the things that I wish could've been were spending more chat/laugh/memory-making times.
Love...always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13:7
Farm Girl Sister #1683 Living Simply & Naturally
http://www.piecemama.etsy.com |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 7:31:17 PM
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I am signed on with flylady. I decided to work on my living room today and let the kids handle the normal chores. The dishes are still needin done, but my oldest can work on them after her BF leaves. I have nearly decluttered the whole room. I am not racin through it and I take a lot of breaks and go through my massive pile of magazines to keep only the pages I needed, not the whole thing. I'll be takin breaks tomorrow to work on my new binder. I had dinner done by 8 tonight. It was only late because I didn't realize how thick the meatloaf was. The kids didn't mind, they played tetherball till it was ready. I am tryin not to feel so anxious about stuff not bein done. I am tryin to find some info on storage ideas. If anyone has any website or book suggestions I'd appriciate them.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 8:21:42 PM
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One of my storage ideas that I use is 36 in tall metal trash can, all the winter and extra blankets go in them, put a wood round on top, a round table cloth that reaches the floor, a lamp or what ever on that and you've got a pretty table with storage.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 9:16:04 PM
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That's great! I could do that with the blankets and my sewin materials! I love that! Thank you!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 9:27:02 PM
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i am not sure your age but heres my thought. your only here once. there is only you. you need to be your own best friend. treat yourself as if you are one of a kind because you are. i am 59 now. i have found i do not need to be in a hurry. i enjoy taking time to enjoy the sun moon stars birds kids life. a few years back they were not sure i would survive a year. i am here and kicking. i live life now like i was dying... as tim mcgraw my hero would say. the song is my mantra. so tomorrow there will always be a list. yes but how i see the list is what i see matters. life is never done. it happens while we are fretting sometimes. organizing planning all this is good. but really farmgirls WE HAVE A DAY and we are free just my thought happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2010 : 11:00:08 PM
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I am tryin to slow my life down. I am tryin to spend more time with whats important. I am also terrified of the 'officials'. I have had the child services people here four times since I started homeschoolin my oldest. I had them here twice right after we moved here because my ex, who signed his rights away 10 years ago, didn't want 'his' daughter in this school system. They have never said anything or done anything and the cases are always closed while they are here. I haven't even had to wait for the paperwork in the mail, it's just handed to me. I still freak out about the house and the girls if they get hurt and any little stupid thing. I am going to go to bed tonight with the dishes not done because we are all tired and my oldest promised she'd do them tomorrow in time for me to cook dinner. I know it's kinda cheatin cause they won't come out on a weekend unless it's an abuse case, but it's the first time in 18 months I've allowed it to happen. Any other time I would have set up all night if thats what it took to get it done. I have also been doin a lot of declutterin. The toy box no longer over flows. My purse is completely usable agian. I am one shelf away from havin the game system set up where you don't need a chair to use it and that will free up another small bookshelf for my mountain of books. I really need one more large one, but I can make do with the small one. It would be better for splittin the books up by type with a big one, but that will come with time and money. Well, I guess I'm gonna head off to bed. Sleep shouldn't be too hard even with the dishes not done. I have a headache so the tylenol will knock me right out. Goodnight All.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 05:18:15 AM
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Angela- That is such a stressful situation! It is obvious that your are a great mom and your kids sound wonderful. *hugs* I once heard that the CPS workers worry less about how organized the house is, and worry more about how happy the kids are. I am betting they have seen much worse houses than yours! *hugs*
It sounds like you are doing great!!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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craftystranger
True Blue Farmgirl
525 Posts
Barbara
Franklin
NC
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 05:41:11 AM
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natesgirl sounds like things are getting better for you. Just keep your eye on the goal. You could have a yard sale with the stuff you no longer need. When my boys were growing up twice a year we would "clean-out" the toys...spring and fall. Toys, books, crayons, that sort of stuff would be sold at a yard sale or given to charity. The clothes would be summer and winter again saved for a yard sale or given away. This keep things organized. The boys still keep this type of system. When you get something new..one or two things need to go. If you saw my garage right now you would feel great. I have the normal garage stuff and my college son's stuff in there. Hey at least we have a path to walk. Remember that you need to pick your battles. Right now the garage is not mine:) Keep us posted on how things are going. Barbara
Don't forget to laugh! |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jun 26 2010 : 08:58:41 AM
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Really read what Fly Lady says and take it one step at a time. What you don't get done, doesn't get done each day, but each day you will be closer to getting there then the day before. So don't worry about going to bed with dishes not done.
flylady adapted another program to herself, it's not just something she came up with on her own. It was from side tracked housewives that she got her initial ideas, and then adapted them to her.
So in that same spirit, I often adapt flylady's suggestions to my own needs/limitations. And don't do what she says perfectly, I do what fits me "perfectly" So also don't get exasperated trying to do it all! Adapt! ;)
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2010 : 6:55:24 PM
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I am trying real hard not to overwork myself and my kids, but it's so hard. I can see the finish line and I want to push on. I have the living room box free. The kitchen is box free. There is enough room in the living room for my 19 month old to ride her little toy around in now. I am tired and a little sore from moving the furniture around to unpack the stuff from behind it, but I am happier with it lookin this way. I am tryin to focus on one corner at a time and it seems to be workin.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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craftystranger
True Blue Farmgirl
525 Posts
Barbara
Franklin
NC
USA
525 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2010 : 04:13:59 AM
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Here is a "At-A-Girl" for you Angela. Keep up the good work. You are on the right track focusing on one area at a time. Feels good to see the work that you have done...dosen't it!! Barbara
Don't forget to laugh! |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2010 : 12:56:22 PM
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Well, Teresa took my words. LOL. One step at a time. So true!!!!! Do what you can in a day.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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traildancer
True Blue Farmgirl
485 Posts
Loyce
Glide
OR
USA
485 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2010 : 10:18:01 AM
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Way to go, Angela. You have really accomplished a lot. Good job.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2010 : 10:06:24 PM
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Wow! I like this post. What a great support system and great suggestions.The only thing that I've adopted that wasn't mentioned ( I didn't look at Fly lady yet).I take about fifteen minutes first thing in the morning to quickly straighten.Maybe even quickly vacuum.I like leaving the house clean and expect to come home to that.
My 14yr. old daughter does all the dishes and a lot of chores, laundry,vacuuming, babysitting. My husband put's our youngest to bed and gives her a bath ( she's 4). I cook all our meals from scratch(we grow all our produce and fruit) but often we don't eat til 8 in the summer.
We bake bread weekly , I freeze some rolls for later in the week to bake fresh, I bake another meal that day, pizza, roast, stew.I expect that to work for another night maybe revamped into some other meal.Roast Chicken became lunch sandwiches, tonite stock and chicken pot pie ( fast version / biscuits on top).
Anyway good luck, I try to do it all, but I'm getting tired ,50 soon.Creative projects are my favorite thing and are often shifted to the last priority depending on what everyone else needs. Is this just being a woman ?
Katie |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2010 : 08:06:59 AM
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I always have people ask me how I 'get it all done'. I write a blog, am raising 2 kids, and have a whole mess of poultry, a big garden, and I work part time for my DH. The secret is, is that I DON'T 'get it all done'. I ain't Martha Stewart, and I don't have a full time staff. My house is always dirtier that I prefer and something ALWAYS needs cleaning/fixing/doing. There is no 'finish line' for me because it doesn't exist.
I see life this way: It's like a big sweater. You start the day off with this great big ball of lovely yarn. As the day wears on, you are making this sweater, and by the day's end you have this great, elaborate one sitting there in front of you. Then, the next morning, you wake up with a ball of yarn again.
That's how I see it...life is never, ever 'done' or 'finished'. Yes, it can get EXTREMELY frustrating and repetitive, so that's why you have to change it up sometimes. Do something different, learn something new. Do a little at a time. There is no such thing as perfection. As I say around here a lot: This ain't Southern Living magazine. People live here, kids and dogs live in this house, and dust bunnies do, too. My napkins aren't folded into fans and there is a spider who has taken up permanent residence above my sewing machine. So what? Ok, let CPS come and look at my kids and my non-perfect house and they will see how happy they are, and how much they love living here. I don't have a perfect bouquet of fresh hydrangeas on my tables, but I have great kids and a great life.
Decluttering has helped me greatly. I am an admitted hoarder of things. This is just my personality, and I am always saving ridiculous bits and pieces and think...I can use this SOMEDAY for SOMETHING. A few months back, I came to terms with myself. NO MORE STUFF. I read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Let-Go-Clutter-Harriet-Schechter/dp/0071351221/ref=pd_sim_b_13
And I laughed after the first page, because I saw myself there. It helped me a lot. I am still decluttering and simplifying. Simplification is a beautiful thing!
Cheers!
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Across the Fence: How Do You Do It? |
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How Do You Do It?
