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Across the Fence:  Stories from us widow women.....  |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
 Posted - May 13 2010 : 8:24:06 PM
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Teresa, I think that is one awesome idea, I might have to borrow it one of these days. What a great way to express yourself!!
live, laugh, love |
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traildancer
True Blue Farmgirl
485 Posts
Loyce
Glide
OR
USA
485 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 1:24:59 PM
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Thank you, ladies, for posting your memories here. I was in a snitty mood this morning because of some little thing my husband did and how he responded when I asked him to clean up after himself. And then feeling resentful and sorry for myself because of what a louse I'm married to! Well, after reading several new pages on this thread, I realize that the only reason I'm fussing is because I have him to fuss at! So thank you for helping me put life into perspective and be a little less harsh on the poor guy. He's really not a louse; actually a very good man. I tend to lose sight of the big things by focusing on the little trivial matters. Need to work on that.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 7:49:32 PM
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Loyce:
I love to read what the women are sharing with us on this thread. It makes me appreciate my Sweetie (husband) so much more than I do.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 8:46:43 PM
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Unfortunately and I hate to admit this, for most of my life I've focused on the small, trivial things in life, I have to say the last 3 years I have overcome much of that, I have a very good friend that always says "if it's not going to make a difference tomorrow, why worry about it", she's SO right. And, when it comes down to the end, you know what, the trivial things don't matter at all.Just love and enjoy what you have while you have it!!
live, laugh, love |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2010 : 06:13:54 AM
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I second that thought Suzie.
Just enjoy everyday as it is a gift and you can never have it back again once it is gone. So make every minute count.
I used to worry about getting older. Now, when people complain about their age i tell tham that it sure beats the alternative> LOL
I have even stopped coloring my hair as it is such a waste of time. One more haircut and it will be all salt and pepper. I like it, my kids are not so sure.
My daughters think it makes me look older but I AM 61. I think its a sort of rebellious act against our all wanting to stay young forever. I like myself this way and I am grabbing all the life I can so why try to look like someone I am not?
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.artfire.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
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SusanScarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
317 Posts
317 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2010 : 12:41:34 PM
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| Michele - I, too, am letting my colored hair grow out. I'm about two haircuts away though. I also like it but several friends have commented. My hairdresser almost passed out when I told her just to cut it - no color. I think at my age (60) I look silly with NO gray in her hair. Bible says gray hair is our "crown of glory" and our "splendor". Works for me ! |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2010 : 2:32:27 PM
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Michele:
I would have done the exact same thing; change hairdresser. Shame on him. LOL.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2010 : 8:46:32 PM
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I was a hairdresser for 20 yrs., so of course colored my hair, and it was free!! After I quit doing hair I decided it was way too expensive to keep up and my late dh always said "your gray is SO pretty, why don't you just leave it that way"? So, did and hated it for lots of years, even tho I got compliments on it, and now, I'm appreciating it, go figure. Of course now, every one is trying to talk me into coloring, but this is just ME, and sometimes you need to make a statement!! I'm 55, wear it kinda short, spikey and sassy, and salt 'n' peppa, and I like it that way!! My late hubby was most always right!!
live, laugh, love |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2010 : 9:03:35 PM
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For several days now I've had things come to mind that I'm missing about my late dh.....they don't seem to make me so sad, but make me smile.....waking up to the aroma of coffee, him stepping out on the porch when I came home from work, sitting in the garage, waiting on me to get home from work, with an extra chair waiting for me, sharing my gardening adventures with him....guess what I saw, look what's coming up here..., sitting outside on a warm evening together, Pete asking "what's for supper, why don't we go out for supper, you've been on your feet all day", he and the dog coming in to wake me up if they'd been up for awhile, both of them agitating me to get up, sharing the local farmers news from the neighboring town, that's all I can think of at the moment, but there are more, for another time.
live, laugh, love |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 16 2010 : 6:25:56 PM
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My memories of my families members who are gone are those of smiles, and good memories now. Time does heal the heart. Not completely.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2010 : 5:52:51 PM
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Today was one of those days that everything that I did, saw or anyone talked about brought forth a huge emotional wave of memories and tears, not all sad tears, but still lots of tears. I wasn't doing anything special, just everyday chores for this time of the year. I moved my meatbirds over to the growing coop, cause the next bunch will be picked up tomorrow at the post office, and for some unknown reason I had to sit down on the ground in the middle of it all, and bawl like a baby, and I couldn't explain why, except to say I miss him soooooooooo very much. I'm doing some minor weeding in the kitchen garden around the new tomato transplants, and I think of all the times I went out to grab that perfect tomato, and my hubby would have to same thought, he'd beat me to it everytime, but ALWAYS save me at least half of it, so again i sat down and cryed. next time todays was when I was putting on the potroast, and all i could think about was, this is one of his favorites, especialy when I put it on egg noodles, as i start crying again, my Grandson walks in and he starts crying , and i ask him why, and he says "grandma, when you cry sad tears, I also have to cry sad tears, cause I love you so much, and if you are sad, so am I". Then he asked why I was sad, and I told him I was really missing his Grandpa alot today, he smiles and says, how can you miss him so much, when he's always standing next to you, and of course that made me cry even more...
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2010 : 8:00:36 PM
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Teresa:
I wish you would have called. I would have cried with you. But like your sweet Grandson said, "he's always standing next to you." I agree with the little fellow. Big hugs to you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2010 : 8:05:57 PM
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oh teresa, my heart aches for you now. what a fine boy. i know the loss and the empty spot. the hole. the tears have so much goodness in them too. the sweetness of the memories.i heard once its not what we have where we have been nor what we have gathered and the list goes on. it is what we leave in the hearts of others and the benefits we have endeared the sweet earth from us being here. i know from your posts you two were kindred spirits. that he was a fine man. through your voice he lives on for you ,family and those that know you now. i pray you find sweet peace in having known that kind of love. sincerely sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 18 2010 : 9:17:16 PM
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Ahhhhh Teresa, sorry you had such a tough day, I don't have a way with words as these other gals do, but my heart does go out to you, the pot roast with egg noodles, that's what Pete would have requested, instead of spuds.....I was working outside the other day and my iris are blooming, he loved them, all I could do was just gaze at them, and cry, wishing he was here to see them. You always seem to touch my heart with your stories and memories, and I agree with Sherrye, you are kindred spirits. Your little grandson has the right idea, your dh is standing right beside you!! Sending hugs to you my friend.
live, laugh, love |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2010 : 2:42:15 PM
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Ok girls , haven't seen any new posts from any of you lately, hope you all are doing ok, as for me, I'm doing the best I can, staying really busy, (it's that time of the year,lol), still have tuff days as I'm sure you all have, and we probally will always have. Take care all...
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2010 : 9:22:41 PM
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Funny you asked, I had been wondering the same thing, figured I had done more than my fair share of gabbing!! This week has been one of those weeks where I have not had a crying jag, so that's a good thing, and as you said Teresa, sometimes you just can't help yourself, and sometimes are like that!! When I came home from work tonight I was hit by a very familiar smell, when Pete came in from the road, he always loved, loved to soak in the tub for hours, bar of soap and a good book, so usually the house smelled nice and "clean", it smelled just like he'd been soaking in the tub when I got home....kind of funny, but nice just the same. Tomorrow I have off and am driving over to Wallace, Idaho, to give his best friends daughter his rifle he wanted Ralph to have (halfway for us girls), she will then deliver it to her Dad in S.D. Pete and I were in Wallace last summer when it was evident he was not feeling good, so not too sure how I will handle that, probably either try to enjoy a few memories and do a little shopping at the antique shops, or peel out of town at mach speed in a rage of tears. It's anyones guess!!! This wknd. will be a little tough as we always had friends here for a BBQ, no matter how the weather was. But then I'm not the only one that will probably have a rough one. Remember Teresa, as someone told me, keep his smile in your heart my friend!!
live, laugh, love |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2010 : 10:33:37 AM
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There have been a day or two that I have sat in my man's big ol overstuffed reclining rocker chair, holding his big ol dirty (won't wash it, can't lose his smells) jacket and rocked myself to sleep, sometimes with a smile, and sometimes with tears. The holidays are always the hardest, we too had big BBQ's on Memorial Day and invited all the family and neighbors, everyone brought food and we supplied the meat, beef, pork and chicken. He would be over that BBQ for hours, it seemed like, and would not sit and eat, til everyone else had their second plate full. Everyone would complain that he was trying to fatten them all up for some story book reason,lol. He would then be out at the ponds with the kids, getting wet and muddy as they were. This place was his kingdom, and he ruled it with the most generousety and kindness as possible! He was the king that all princes and princesses dreamed of, and everyone in his eye were equal or better than him. We will have a BBQ this year as usual, but without him it can never be as grand.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2010 : 7:17:30 PM
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Oh my gosh, what a wonderful, wonderful man you had!!! It took me several months before I would sit in Pete's rocker/recliner, but now you can't get me out of it, unless I'm sitting here at this computer. I kind of resent it when his boys sit in it, that's pretty bad!!I'm sure your BBQ will be just as grand, and you will be smiling, possibly through your tears, but I do believe he'll be watching, just to make sure things are done just right!! Try to enjoy my friend, I'll be thinkin' of ya. I should have never bragged last night about not having a crying jag all week, while on my way to Idaho today I was going over 4th. of July pass, behind a string of trucks, windy and curvy as all get out, remembering all the times I rode with Pete and how much fun we always had, when "Convoy" started playing on the radio, that did it for me, ohhhhh boyyyyyy!!! Had to pull over and get it together but it feels good to let yourself do that, it comes from nowhere and all of a sudden it just takes you over. That big wave of emotion.
live, laugh, love |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2010 : 8:28:42 PM
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Teresa:
You never mentioned you were cooking for Memorial Day! LOL!!
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2010 : 09:44:47 AM
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Remember... this is the day to remember all of our loved ones that are now gone, so stop for a moment and close your eyes, and smile, laugh, cry and scream, but, remember...
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2010 : 10:53:33 AM
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Had to share this today....I'm kind of smiling, and laughing through my tears. Pete and I had been together about 6 mos., we both had the long weekend off so he suggested we get away, maybe head east of the mtns. (we lived in West. Wa. then), over to Yakima, get a motel and just goof off. Sounded good to me, so off we went, the weather was hot, we went over Chinook Pass which still had several feet of snow, so we stopped and threw snowballs at each other, got to Yakima, had a good dinner, got the the motel and settled in for the evening. The next day Pete was beside himself with excitement, we spent half that day watching the Indy 500, no wonder he told me to bring a book with me!! We had a great time, watching the race, reading and just napping. That was obviously before we started the BBQ tradition on this holiday weekend, along with remembering ALL of our loved ones that are gone. I hope you all are enjoying this day, even if it may be through your smiles, and tears.
live, laugh, love |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2010 : 4:18:00 PM
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Every year when ken was healthy, we had a crawfish boil sometime between Memorial Day and his B'day which was June 7.
He would order up 80 pounds of crawfish to be shipped from NOLA and would go to the airport and pick them up. We would do a HUGE yankee Crawfish boil w/ crawfish, potatoes, corn shrimp and sausage.
Make Hurricanes and ice up the IBITA beer and I'd make Muffalettas in the backyard. Put on the Zydeco CD's and have a yankee fais do do.
What fun!!!\ Oh, my gosh, i really miss that
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.artfire.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
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Kirksmom71
True Blue Farmgirl
873 Posts
Mel
Dallas
Texas
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2010 : 4:42:07 PM
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Wow...sounds like great fun Michelle. My hubby's b-day was June 8. :)
My best to all,
Mel
Sassy City Girl with Farmgirl Fantasies! |
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Across the Fence: Stories from us widow women..... |
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Stories from us widow women.....
