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Across the Fence:  Stories from us widow women.....  |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 12 2011 : 5:06:50 PM
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Hello Belle !! Oh my dear... so sorry you have been without a good foot to stand on ! That must be hard on you. I'm with you on not getting out much. I get out once a week with my PCA (Personal Care Attendent) to do my shopping . I have sort of been stuck as I don't drive any longer. Thankfully I have Micki my PCA. She is a God send !! You are where my DIL's parents live !! My son and DIL live in Chanute so I know your neck of the woods well . I sure know where Burlington is as well. I go to the eye Dr there and sometimes shop at a quilt shop there. My son teaches south of there in Leroy-Gridley. I have had a good couple of days since I posted. Having such fun doing my artwork again. Also taking online art classes and LOVING it !! Something I have always loved and now have the time to persue it. My son and I had a funny talk the other day about when I'm gone he gets to figure out what to do with all the journals/art journals I have created !! I told him.. nothing else you will have a good campfire starter !! lol !! Anyway.. hope you feel well soon.
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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debbies journey
True Blue Farmgirl
635 Posts
debbie
anchorage
ak
USA
635 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2011 : 9:47:58 PM
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Wow, Kristy, you really hit the jack pot! And your Valentines are beautiful!
Debbie |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 4:37:04 PM
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I guess we're all still here, unfortunately I went through all of the holidays immediately after my DH passed, so this year seems just a tad bit better, altho I did have to try and ignore all the flowers in the grocery store this afternoon.....I work full time so not alot of time left in the day when I get home about 7. The less time idle, the less time to sit and think. I have a pretty good routine while I'm home, or on my days off and that keeps me busy. Thinking of putting my house on the market here in the next few weeks and moving "back home", my DH and I discussed this before his passing and he agreed, it was probably what I should do, just to be closer to family. Hope all you gals have a good Valentines Day....and I know our guys will be smiling down upon us, as long as we are smiling~~
live, laugh, love |
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nh.farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
74 Posts
Barbara
New Hampshire
USA
74 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 7:30:52 PM
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I think this is a beautiful idea - very loving.
Blessings and Hugs,
Barbara
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."
- Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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nh.farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
74 Posts
Barbara
New Hampshire
USA
74 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 7:32:44 PM
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Sheri,
What a beautiful story - a lovely beautiful love story.
Blessings,
Barbara
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."
- Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 7:40:03 PM
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Kristy, I get up to Leroy at least once a year to Arnolds Greenhouse. Maybe I could get on up to Melvern. Fix me a cup of coffee?? Need to check out the quilt shop in Berlington too. Can't wait till spring so I can get out and about.
Belle |
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janiee
True Blue Farmgirl
820 Posts
Janie
Shawnee
Oklahoma
USA
820 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 05:50:10 AM
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today is my first valentines day without my Larry--kind of melted some yesterday but am hanging in there today--have started planning a quilt in his honor and that seems to help...i miss him so much
janiee
farmgirl #390 |
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 07:00:16 AM
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Janiee, I too am making a new quilt. Trying to spruce up the bedroom where Ole Ron spent the last 3 months of his life. Hope that seeing the new quilt on the bed will soften the memories. Seems I dread the holidays but when the day comes, I make it through OK. We'll make it.
Belle |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 10:28:59 AM
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(((HUGS JANIE)))...(((BELLE)))...Understand Janie... I feel the same. Today is also 7 months without Marvin. The 14th had to fall on Valentines day ! But.. I too will make it through. I have started an art journal page remembering him today. It is bringing my much joy and a few tears...of course ! But at least we all have something to do with out hands to remember them and hold our precious memories close in our hearts !! Yes...we will all make it through another day I pray ... hugs and love to you my special sisters !!!
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 09:53:57 AM
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Hello ladies it has been so long since I stopped in and I must admit today all I have been doing is crying! It has been 15 years since my husband collasped today and I know I need sleep because of being up with bottle goat kids, expecting goats and many births but it seems like today I feel like the whole world is falling in on me. I have worked so hard for the past 15 years to build my world and now it seems to be unraveling - I am questioning everything I do and do not find support because everyone has also leaned on me. I feel like I should be able to do better but I just can not seem to stop crying...
I knew you all would not mind if I told this to you. Sorry for being a mess.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 11:09:47 AM
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You can lean on us Grace. Sounds like you could use some rest. Also sounds like you have done a great job of taking care of yourself. With the goats and all. You don't need to apologize to us for being a mess. We all are. Some days we are messier than others. Take care of those kids and stay close to your computer and your MJF sisters.
Belle |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 2:14:29 PM
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Oh Dear Grace !!(Runs to Grace and gives her a big ((HUG)). I understand the crying all to well. I so admire you for sticking it out and creating your little piece of heaven. Even when life seems so rough... that is when we grow. (They keep telling me that !) I can't imagine birthing and bottle feeding the kids on your own. Are there possible neighbors of friends you could ask for aome help. Or...this just hit me... at the high school in your area see if they have an FFA or students that need to fulfill their community service hours. They were such a help to me after my Husband passed in July. They took over keeping up with the big yard and trimming trees and branches this fall. It was good for us all. You might check that out!! Also... be kind to yourself. This season will pass and hopefully life will calm for you. Don't be affraid to ask others...even though you have been the strong ,supportive one. Yes it is humbling to ask... but we all need help somewhere along the way. I am sending you hugs and prayers !! Many blessings...
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 5:05:17 PM
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Thanks so much Kristy and Bella for your wonderful words and thoughts. I know most of this is because I have not slept in about two weeks but over the years this has been my life and it has not gotten to me. I admit I guess also the reason this is all hitting me is I have been working thru some tapes that was to dig up some issues and it sure did. With the -42 degree weather for days on end with all the outside work I guess I really did not see how much it was wearing on me. I have this evening another one of my goat girls in labor so it looks like another night in the barn but I will take your kind words with me and I will lay off the tapes for tonight and tomorrow. I know that I have been looking at making some changes and some of them very big ones and maybe I just got scared.
I wished I could call someone in but most of the folks who I know have given up their farms and moved to town. My sons have been battling horrible colds so I really can not have them with my little one's. I remember the year I had 9 bottle kids in my kitchen - so I guess I have gotten thru with worse. I am just not a cryer so I really freaked. I am blessed to be here today and to know there are so many who understand this. I am blessed even when I am a mess.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 5:31:27 PM
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Ahhhh Grace, sometimes we're all a mess....like someone said, sometimes more of a mess than others. You are such a busy lady, what with all the bottle babies, the cold, and no help, but you also sound like an extremely strong lady to me. There sure are times when things get to all of us, and it sounds to me like this week was your week. Also, if you're contemplating some big changes, that can really throw us into a frenzy.....I too am thinking about some big changes....certainly takes you out of your comfort zone!! Big hugs for you, and come lean on any of us, anytime, that's what we're all here for.....
live, laugh, love |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2011 : 5:39:11 PM
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Exactly right !! I too am pondering change. The farm is just too much. Too much house for 1 person. Too many fences to check this spring,brush to burn... oh my ! The warm up here really has me thinking and it sent me into a tail spin as well. But.. as always a friend just called and he is already planning for all the things I mentioned. He and his wife love coming out here . So I'm just gonna stay put! My thoughts and prayers are with you Grace ! I so remember having to bottle feed calves during the winter on the farm I grew up on. Luckily we had a big utility room that we kept them and their tubs in ! Wow, that really takes me back !! We are here for eachother. We share a command bond that others do not understand. It's not a bond any of us ever imagined.. but we have it !!
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 4:58:24 PM
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Kristy, I know what you mean about not being sure we can take care of the place. I am going to have to find someone to help me with the spring cleanup and start up. I think I can take care of everything once it is burned off, tilled, cleaned up, leaves removed, well repaired (froze up and busted, but have city water in the house.) I have some of the garden beds ready but not all. I thought the same thing today. I need to cut back, but where, Move? where to. My sons are great help but are both working away from home till April, May, June???
Belle |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2011 : 5:49:05 PM
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Oh THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES!!!!!
You gave me such love, kind words and understanding. I really need that and I thank you. Thank you just does not cut it but I hope you all know that my heart is with you all. I will be posting on my blog in the next day or two some of the goings on that led to my melt down. I had a mircle happen last night during a very tragic time and it was like the universe was saying "It Believes In Me"
It also helped tons to know that my fear was not me being a failure but that you all reminded me that I have walked thru some pretty hairy times and came out better so why would these changes be any different??? I guess it is because I am thinking of myself for the first time and I have never done that before....
So again, thank you all for your wonderful words, support and love - I hope you know that I am always here for you too.
Blessings
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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J.F. Brown
True Blue Farmgirl
130 Posts
Jamie
Beaverton
OR
USA
130 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2011 : 9:16:09 PM
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Hello, all,
This is 'one of those times'. it's been a long time since my husband dies... more than nine years... and yet sometimes I just really still don't think this can seriously be true. There have been some absolutely unbelievably bad times when I really needed him, and some wonderful times with the kids when it broke my heart not to have him share. This is neither, I just miss him so much, and there is no one I would rather discuss current world events or that new mystery I just read with than he. Darn it. Thanks for letting me vent. |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2011 : 9:57:24 PM
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Hugs Janie !! I hear you dear one ! Vent away dear Sister. These girls are awesome !! It has only been 7 months since I lost DH. It seems like forever. I can not imagine 9 years of missing him. Are your children still at home ? I am alone. My cildren and grandbabies are all about an hour and a half drive away from me.Praying you are getting through another day !!
Hello Sisters !! I was coming in to post my big news !! I am following a dream and taking online art classes !!! Can you believe it...53 and studying again ? lol !!It is bringing me such peace and even joy. I put down my artwork the day he passed away. Didn't lift up a pencil,brush,anything until about a month ago. My kids are so supportive and don't mind I am spending part of their inheritance to follow my dream. One of those things that also died when Marvin did. He was by biggest cheerleader in anything I did. Now... I actually feel him at times looking over my shoulder and whispering " Oh Honey... I love it . I am so proud of you !!" (tears) But it brings me peace. I am also doing 2 tutorials so to speak here at MJF. One one Hand binding Journals. One on art Journaling. This too brings me joy. Giving back to others. Sharing a gift God gave me. (I wish I had also gotten an organizing gene !! LOL ) Oh well, my BFF is good at that and loves doing just that !!
Know you all are in my thoughts and prayers. I keep watching my emails for posts and pop in when I see one !! Blessings...
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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J.F. Brown
True Blue Farmgirl
130 Posts
Jamie
Beaverton
OR
USA
130 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2011 : 10:08:00 AM
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Hi, again- Kristy, so sorry to make it seem like it never gets better, because it does, kind of. You are so wise and strong to be creating again. I genuinely think I was still in the fetal position for a year after John died, though I know I was actually taking care of the family... mostly!
I am 53 as well, about to be 54, and my 'kids' are grown, but sort of still here. My eldest (son, 31) has moderate to severe autism, intellectual disabilities, and we live together. Eldest daughter, now 28, did, until November, but she's now out of grad school, working, and lives 10 minutes away. Middle daughter, almost 25, is living here until summer, working, and applying to grad schools across the globe. Since she was in Asia and Australia most of two years until she came home last March, it's great to have her. Youngest daughter, 22, is at school in New York, but taking a semester in the UK, and hopes to extend that to another semester. Too far away!
Your kids sound wonderful, and I bet they know their real inheritance is you! You know he really is seeing and loving your work, as much as he loves you! It is wonderful that you are sharing your gift. The organizing gene... yes, me, too!
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2011 : 11:38:44 AM
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OH Jamie, your life seems full with so many children in and out. I have an autistic,and many other developmental issues. I know how challenging this can be. But I am sure you must feel like I do, they have so much love to give. Connor is non verbal but he knows how to love you to pieces !! He's my little love bug !!
I so understand what you are saying about staying in a fetal position after your dear Johns passing. I keep going because I have 4 little furbabies that keep me going. My kids helped pull me out of sever depression and help me get a bit on track with life after many deep talks !! My art.. well I have done it all my life. It called me back to it as I was doing NOTHING creative. MY grievence counselor also incouraged me to JUST DO IT !! It has truly pulled me out of my depression!! Actually...God did it all !!!
Ok... my BFF is coming over to use her organizing gene on my little studio. A new class begins tomorrow so we need to get all my supplies organized !!So.. til next time.. Hugs and blessings...
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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Judyr808
Farmgirl in Training
23 Posts
Judy
Hood River
Oregon
USA
23 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2011 : 10:48:22 PM
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Hay Kristy, that is wonderful, taking art classes! I haven't done any art work in a couple years, but when I do it is like nothing else, it's my therapist, comforter and spiritual support. I don't know why I'm not doing it all the time. I'm 68 and love teaching and learning, you know, we're all teachers and learners all our lives. That's what keeps us young. I do quilts and other crafts, but I have fought depression all my life and you have reminded me how much art helps me, thank you so much!
Judy
Love & Light |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2011 : 06:21:47 AM
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Hello again !! I too have dealt with depression as long as I can remember !! It truly is therapy. My grief counselor has really encouraged me to get back to doing what I love ! Since I am disabled and at home 24/7...I have too much time on my hands. So, I am happily filling it with learning,sharing and learning that I am OK ! I am worth it!! I'm ready to start another online class today. I am really anxious for this one as well as the current classes I am taking. Having to much fun !! Still trying to find that missing organization gene... darn thing apparently didn't show up in my gene pool ! lol ! Thank goodness for my BFF.. she is that organizing one.. I am the artistic uh.. not so organized one !! lol !! She is itching to get into my studio and do her magic! Who I am I to say no? Lol !! Ok.. hugs and blessings...
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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J.F. Brown
True Blue Farmgirl
130 Posts
Jamie
Beaverton
OR
USA
130 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2011 : 10:38:13 PM
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Kristy, I know what you mean about the depression. I think that on top of some inclination that way, anyway, the physical and emotional strain of John's last weeks just knocked it out of me. Thank goodness the kids were there to keep on for. it took a long time, and creativity is just coming back.Good for you taking classes and practicing your art.
My son is a kick; he's great at home, but not safe on his own outside.He's ahoot sometimes, if I lose my keys or glasses (which I do constantly) you can tell he thinks I am so goofy.
Glad you have a BFF nearby. My BFF/ adopted sister is a thousand miles away, and we only see each other about once a year. We talk almost every day, though! Though I have nearby friends whom I really believe carried me through the first couple of years. They fed me, cut my lawn, helped my kids feel loved, and talked to me like I was still a thinking person when we all know I was just a walking shell. Yay for sisterhood!
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
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Across the Fence: Stories from us widow women..... |
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Stories from us widow women.....
