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Here's to Your Health:  I'm not myself anymore, not sure what to do.  |
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Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 18 2006 : 8:48:11 PM
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I've been through a lot in the last year and I got a lot of support from a lot of you back when it all started... as a recap to avoid having to explain a bunch of junk later, I am a stay at home mom, My husband lost his job last year, I cashed out my 401 K to keep the house afloat until he got a new job. He found a new job in a different state, so we sold my house that I loved along with the garden that I created and loved in the back yard, and I moved away from my home town for the first time and left behind my family friends and a few clubs I belonged to as well. We moved to an apartment and lived there for 6 months.. at first when we moved I managed to catch every single germ that came along and I rarely ever get sick, but I had to visit the urgent care a few times in the first few months here.. now we are 2 months into a crappy little trailor that I had to scrub for about a week before it was even habitable. We had to replace the kitchen stove because it was infested with mice and just totally gross. I was on a constant adrenaline rush trying to get this place safe and liveable before I got the kids in here.. We are living here temporarily until our new house is finished being built.
I hate it here in this trailor we have no space and I am having a hard time making the best of this. It seems like we will be here forever because our house keeps having delays.. first we were supposed to be in after the new year, then they said March, and now due to some kind of code thing with wiring that has come up, it's being projected as "sometime after March"
I have been having problems with forgetting things lately, anxiety problems, general fatigue, really dark thoughts and I just can't make myself keep up with this place. I find myself lying around all day just thinking about things I hate and feeling too overwhelmed to move.
I went to the Dr. and was told I have depression and was given a prescription for an antidepressant. I felt worse than I ever had in my life. I didn't sleep for 3 days I had tremors, a steady migraine, and racing thoughts that when I described them he called mania and was told that I could go off it because I wasn't tolerating it.
I am totally terrified to try another one after that. I had an "episode" this morning where I woke up sad and cried all morning, picked a fight with my husband, started packing up the kids bags and getting ready to go home.. for some reason I keep thinking that if I can just get back to Spokane I can get my life back.. then all my angry energy stopped and I was sad again and just laid on the couch for hours.. I know the kids need their dad, and he is good to them, and a fun guy and he is trying really hard..Leaving isn't going to fix or change anything at this point.
I just don't know what to do.. this isn't me at all.. it's scary to be so out of touch with myself... I'm scared to parent on my own if I am going to have to try a bunch of different medications that may or may not make me act nuts until I find the right thing.
We really can't afford counsuling and this city doesn't offer much for help in that way. Our insurance covers it after a 500.00 deductable which makes my husband cringe each time I bring it up. I try to talk to him but he gets defensive because he blames himself for the way things all went with him losing his job. I can't talk to anyone.. I don't even have my own mom to talk to because she already hates my husband for taking me away and that would just add fuel to the fire in a bad way. I feel totally isolated and alone!
I don't have a history with this, so part of me wonders if I am just totally overwhelmed and have been through too much to expect myself to just bounce back right away.. and maybe if I'm patient with it all this will go away when I get in the new place or if I am being stupid and niave for thinking that way.. I'm just so tired and feel like a total loser these days.. there is duct tape keeping the insulation inside the walls in some places in here.. it's just really horribly hard to be in here looking at this all the time..
My husband has been escaping from reality a lot by getting hooked on video games.. seems that unless I am fighting with him or fooling around with him he is always planted in his computer chair in the furthest corner from everyone else in the house.
If you made it through all this congratulations.. if you have any suggestions that would be swell because I am starting to feel pretty hopeless these days.. I am usually very optimistic and bright and cheery.. I heard a message of myself talking when I picked up the phone and the machine picked up, and I sound flat... no inflection to my voice at all.. weird.
B.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2006 : 9:13:42 PM
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Oh, Bobbi!!
First off. A huge (((hug))))
I know it is hard to imagine, but I DO know what you are feeling...I got really depressed once, after the birth of my baby, and then one illness after another during a dark cold, sunless winter...I tried an antidepressant and had the same thing!! I haven't tried them again!
I can only imagine how hard it is to live in a dank little trailor. Remeber, this is only temporary!! I know it is hard to keep things in perspective when an hour passes with such slowness, but spring WILL come, and you will be in your home...
From my own experience, moving away from "home" for the first time is so hard...we did it 8 years ago, I had lived in the same small town my whole life, and my husband got a better job, so we moved...It was really tough, but in retrospect, I have learned to rely on my husband, and our relationship has grown so much. (despite his online gaming and what I would call and addiction to Halo 2)
We have to remember that men and women deal with things differently...my friend sent me an email about a study at a major university...they called men's coping something like the "fight or flight" and a woman's coping "tend and befriend" when men are bugged, they either get their back up and fight, or the retreat...in our husband's case, to the xbox. Women want to talk to friends, they want to rock a baby, they want to cry on the shoulder of a sister...Bobbi, DO IT..call some one...call me!
I will send you an email...
I DO know what you are going thru, and it WILL end...I will help if you want.
DOn't suffer alone.
Read my post on the parenting forum...Do your best to live in the NOW,
It will be ok!
Love And light to you
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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Clare
True Blue Farmgirl
2173 Posts
NC WA State
USA
2173 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2006 : 9:18:11 PM
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Oh, Bobbie, you're on overload. Life can get that way sometimes.
My suggestion would be to try a Naturopathic doctor (there are 3 clinics listed in Helena and hopefully your insurance will cover it.) My first inclination is that your hormones may be way out of balance, which can cause many of the symptoms that you described. A Naturopathic doctor could help you find a balance without drugs, which have so many side affects.
Engage your husband in meaningful conversation as well. Start with "I feel". And "what would help", as far as how he could be more involved in the relationship and in helping you to adjust and cope.
Hugs to you, dear.
Humor is the prelude to faith and Laughter is the beginning of prayer. -- Reinhold Niebuhr
http://farmstyle.blogspot.com
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Edited by - Clare on Nov 18 2006 9:41:42 PM |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2006 : 9:57:51 PM
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Bobbie, are the mom of the little girl with the red cowboy boots? I wish I could be there with you to be a shoulder to unload on. I do extend my hand for you to hold tight, even from afar. I believe Clare is right--you have to get your husband to be more involved so he will feel he is helping and not the cause. Take care I will be thinking of you.
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
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Tabigirl
Farmgirl in Training
29 Posts
Tabitha
Kent
WA
USA
29 Posts |
Posted - Nov 18 2006 : 10:37:31 PM
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Oh Bobbie,
What a rough time you have had lately!
Making so many changes at one time is extremely difficult. I have been there sister and it is not easy! Thanks for sharing and for being so honest.
In addition to seeking some alternate medical treatment, perhaps finding some sort of support group or women's activity once or twice a week might help.
I truly hope you find some relief soon and that you feel better getting this stuff out and finding some strength in the replies of others. You are a woman of courage!
Take care,
Tabitha
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 04:44:05 AM
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Hugs! As the other girls have said it's a lot of changes in a short amount of time!
1. Here's a link to a website that has great stuff about moving and coping with that: http://www.justmoved.org -- great book called After the boxes are unpacked. Susan Miller was a speaker at a conference I attended and she has a huge heart for this.
2. Your adrenal glands are prob fatigued......most docs don't recognize this anymore. I have a good book on this as well.......try adding some salt to your water first thing in the morning, a good B complex, Vit C (just under enough to give your the runs is the right amount), Ginseng if you can tolerate it and Gingko as well. Get out and about a little, walk, etc something to get your mind off your trailer. Then when you get back it won't look as bad (well at least a little ;).
3. Hubby is prob retreating cause he doesn't know how to deal with you, knows your angry at him but doesn't see any way to change the situation. You need to sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons about your life (and there ARE pros you just have to look a little harder), all the reasons you are angry at him, all the reasons you love/appreciate him. Something about seeing it in black in white helps.
4. Try to find out all the cool things your new city has -- museums, stores, etc and then take the kiddos and visit a few. Pretend you're on vacation and visiting for the first time.
As one who struggles with depression and who has moved 9 times with the Army (13 different addresses') in the last 17 years I can relate!
Hope that helps.
Holly
ps-- are you in a good church? Women's ministry? Our ladies group is the only thing that has kept me going at times.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 5:57:07 PM
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Bobbi! I am so, so sorry to hear this is happening. Let me assure you that the fact you recognize so clearly what is happening is such a positive sign! Really and truly, so many people spend an enormous amount of energy denying their feelings and their symptoms by engaging in really maladaptive coping strategies: drinking is by far #1..better to be numb than to feel is what millions and millions of people think and do.. I have tremendous hope for your situation.
I'll also say that you are entitled to feeling so lost and displaced..you are.. This is really really hard and what's worse is that despite our very "quick fix" society, there are no quick answers here. It will take a great deal of energy, courage and committment on your part. You will have to force yourself to do exactly what you don't want to do like get up and out of the trailer and get some fresh air. It is so much easier to lie down and try to sleep the hours away but try, try, try to get moving, get going. The really hard part about that is it make take several efforts for you to experience any sense of satisfaction..again our quick fix society has us thinking that if I get out and do something I ought to be better..not always the case...again it may take several attempts.
I will also throw out there that if you are diagnosably depressed this too can be really serious if left untreated. I know adding an expensive co-pay can be daunting and really hard but what if you were diagnosed with some kind of cancer that needed immediate treatment? What if the first med you tried made you feel gross...you would probably find something else because the focus would be to get rid of that cancer.. Depression is still so incredibly stigmatized and mis-understood that people tend to try to sweep it under the rug and suffer. You may have to try several medications to find one that works well.. you may have to meet with several different professionals before you find one who seems like a good fit..you may have to shell out some money that right now seems almost too much to deal with, but I ask you..Isn't your health worth it? Isn't your well-being and the well being of your family worth it? If this was one of your children, we wouldn't be having this conversation....
Depression, if left untreated and allowed to intensify to something really, really serious and prolonged can be as deadly as cancer.. Please, please, please get more medical attention. Your general family practitioners will be clueless in most cases..any chance you can get a referral to a proper professional like a psychiatrist? I know scary stigma there too, but there are doctors for all kinds of specialities and if you had a cancer you wouldn't hesitate to see the proper care provider.. same is true here.
Please keep us posted on what's happening..withdrawl is another common maladaptive coping strategy.. don't withdraw..reach out as best you can..so many tender hearts are waiting for you!
All my blessings to you and your family,
Julia Hayes
(a psychiatrist's wife)
I really like the alternative medical advice you've received here too.. vitamins, diet, etc.. are hugely important..again a full medical work-up would be great!
being simple to simply be |
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 6:31:56 PM
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Bobbi~
Just wondering if things are looking clearer for you today???
I totally second Julia's advice, with depression, you don't want to wait, and you definately *need* to seek help. Our society is so warped when it comes to mental health situations. Even my own mother feels I must be weak, why else could I feel so low????
Well, we know different, don't we....
Please, take care, and know I am thinking of you.
Call if you need someone to talk to.
Love
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 6:58:59 PM
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Today I woke up feeling ok, went out to the living room and felt hopeless again... we as a family took a drive to the kids Great Grandma and the whole time I was out I did great.. cracking jokes smiling, laughing, then we had dinner at the mom'in'laws house and I had a good time there.. got back in here and am low again.... thats where I just wonder if I just need to be patient and see if it goes away.. because it looks to me like it is pretty environmental... and yes Julia.. a diet consisting of hot buttered rum is looking mighty.. MIGHTY tempting.
I have another appointment with my family practitioner tomorrow who wants to have me try something else now that the last stuff didn't work. I checked into our plan online and found that naturapathy isn't covered at all. Hal told me to check into counsulers so I'll try to get on that tomorrow.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
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Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 7:00:28 PM
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I kind of have to smile at the irony of my signiture.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 7:04:46 PM
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Yea, I know, Really Bobbi, don't let this episode and time in your life define who you are....
Alot of things can contribute to depression.
The environmental things could be huge...your little trailer could be full of mold and other yucky stuff...you never know.
Maybe you are having an allergic reaction to some nasty stuff in the walls???
YOu will probably never know *why* for sure, but the important thing is to take care of yourself...
Keep in touch
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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asnedecor
True Blue Farmgirl
1054 Posts
Anne
Portland
Or
USA
1054 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 7:22:07 PM
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Bobbi -
I almost cried reading your post - I am so sorry you are having such a terrible time at this move, relocation, etc. I feel bad that it is so hard on you. Since you noticed that while you were out of the trailer visiting your mother-in-law's that things were better, did you think that maybe taking a daily walk or bike ride would help with these low days? They say exercise is good to help with depression and feeling blue. I am not sure how the weather is there, it might be too cold. Is there a community center in Helena you can go to that might have an indoor pool or gym you can use. I think if you can get out of the "trailer" for a period of time each day, it might help. I assume you are near the site of your soon to be new house, if so, you might want to start sketching out what your new garden will look like, start planning for future veggies and flowers - basically looking ahead to what will be. I have never suffered from severe depression, so I can not speak from experience - sorry. Again, this is temporary, and though it is hard to deal with - think of the new things that will be coming your way once the house is done and you can pull out all of your personal stuff from storage and decorate and set up the house for you and your family.
Big Hugs and I hope you will stay in touch with all of us on your progress - don't disappear.
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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Edited by - asnedecor on Nov 19 2006 7:22:59 PM |
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 8:59:29 PM
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I haven't stopped thinking about you since I read your post last night Bobbi. Twice I have started to write and stopped, having trouble putting into words what I really want to say. I have been there, done that...I don't have the tshirt, but I do have a med that works! It took me five years of denial and hell, plus two psychiatrists. First psychiatrist needed one himself, the second one was great and could actually make me see the lighter side of things and even humor. And I soon realized that I wasn't nuts, just way overstressed and an inherited tendency to depression. The main thing...I'm not scared of it anymore. I no longer "fear the fear".
I can't stress enough the importance of Julia's post. She is 100% dead-on right. Please listen to what she says. Her analogy is cancer. Mine is diabetes...if you had diabetes you would certainly take insulin...if you have a chemical imbalance you take a med to correct it. And it can be temporary...just something to help you get your feet under you and get that dark cloud over your head to let a little sunshine through. Taking a medication does NOT make you a weak person. Also, because the first med didn't work, don't assume the next won't. My third one worked and it's a very low dose.
Anne's suggestion is also good and will give you a focus away from your present living situation. You had gardens before, so dream about the fantastic gardens you will have in your new home. Make dream lists from seed catalogues (you can always pare them down to realistic orders later!). What kind of fruit trees will you like to plant? Maybe you could even have a greenhouse? Make lists of what has to be started early indoors and when. Heck, I'll bet there's a whole lot of farmgals here that would love to share seeds from their gardens. I would sure put some in the mail for you if you would like to email me your address.
A big warm hug from me Bobbi, it will get better...believe that it will.
Di xox
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 9:34:31 PM
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Bobbi- When my son was 9 months old we were in ther process of selling our house and buying another when my husband lost his job very suddenly. In the short span of 7 days our house was sold, but we couldn't in good conscience close on the new one not knowing how we would be paying for it, so we also lost a sizeable deposit. We moved into a tiny house that had been in the family "temporarily" and we are still here. I can tell you that I was a very unhappy and angry person inside even though everyone seemed to think I was adjusting so well. Don't waste the time or energy on hating where you are, time is so precious with little ones and each day is a gift.
If you think you need professional help do not hesitate whether your husband cringes or not. I agree with everyone who says this is something you may have little control over right now and there may be an imbalance that needs correcting. I have thought about you and hoped you were doing better, I'm glad you were able to share your heart here. There is a saying from someone that says "May we all endure temporary inconvenience for the betterment of all". I think that kind of applies here, you and your husband are partners and he should not be "hiding" in video games. You have kids, each other and the promise of a new home to look forward too but what is important right now is you and how you feel. The hardest part is asking for help and not giving up until you find it. I wish you a path back to the sunshine, I remember what a funny girl you are. Something that helped me was to find a Mom's group. If there isn't one in your area, start one in the area your new house will be in. That was truly the lifesaver for me. I received love, support and friendship from a bunch of women that had no preconceived ideas of who I was or had been. They just accepted me as a new Mom in the same boat as them and were willing to help. The group was originally started by a woman who had been transferred here and didn't have friends or family nearby. Everyone always made a point of supporting each other with babysitting schedule swap partners, we all cooked together and divided it up so everyone had a few extra meals to freeze. I remember a woman calling to tell me about a meeting change and found out I had a migraine. Within 30 minutes she was at my house to take my son to the park with her kids and when she brought him back she brought something for dinner! That kind of help and friendship can't hurt either. I hope that some of what I did can help you, know that I am sending you powerful thoughts of healing and light to brighten your journey. You deserve to be happy. I'm also sending a big hug,
you certainly need one.
with a happy heart |
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MsCwick
True Blue Farmgirl
775 Posts
Cristine
Farmville
Virginia
USA
775 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2006 : 9:41:33 PM
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Bobbi...you might be my long lost sister! I have felt exactly like you before. Nothing was ever right, especially with my husband and everything was always wrong. I couldn't ever do enough(prior post) . I am curious about the anti-depressant that you first tried. When I first started taking one a few years ago, they were really quick to prescribe well-butrin,(generic for prozac) and I had quite a reaction to that. How long did you take it for while having adverse effects? Even when I started back on what I'm taking now, I felt wired and kinda weirded out for the first few weeks. The first night I lied in bed with a headache and nausea, and my mind feeling like it would explode with thoughts, but now. I'm so relaxed, productive, enthusiastic, positive, supportive.
My husband was the SAME way with the darn video games!!! We had a long talk about how unsocial it is of him to sit there and not speak to me for HOURS at a time. Although I cannot expect him to give up this overly childish thing he calls entertainment, I had to be the one to make the effort to be a part of his world. Mostly because I couldn't expect him to sit here and read these posts, or look at crafts and decor on eBay. Not only do we rummage through the games at the video store, but sometimes, we take turns, sometimes, one watches and helps the other, or we rent a two player game for a few days. If he's playing something that I can't or don't want to play, I sit right there in the living room making my cooking/recipe scrapbook. And even though we aren't doing something 'together', we're in the same room together, and if something crosses one another's mind, we chat now and then. I got a little radio, and keep it by "my" sofa, and I sprawl out reading or clipping coupons.
If you need someone to talk to, I have free nationwide nights and weekends on my cell-phone, and we could chat a bit if you'd like. |
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peapodjane
True Blue Farmgirl
127 Posts
127 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 05:00:50 AM
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I definitely support you're checking into finding a counselor/therapist, is there a crisis line you could call? The people that work these lines can really be of help in all sorts of situations.
Oh, by the way, I think your signature is just fine...you are looking for the positive from a point of the reality of what you are feeling...
peapodjane |
Edited by - peapodjane on Nov 20 2006 05:03:17 AM |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 09:51:39 AM
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Bobbi,
I just came onto the forum and was reading and writing and I started wondering why we hadn't heard from you in awhile. NOw I know. Big hugs to you sweetie.
The other gals have given you very good advice. I'm glad you're going back to the dr. to see if something else work. Also I do think it is so important to get outside for a walk and some fresh air every single day.
We are all thinking about you and care about you. I know it must be so hard living in the trailer, but remember it isn't forever. You've just gone through so much in such a short time.
Talking to a counselor can sometimes help a lot. Also the meds can help and you don't necessarily have to be on them forever either.
Just keep talking to us too. We're here for you.
Debbie
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 10:07:46 AM
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Sweet Bobbi ... loving thoughts and prayers coming your way ... prayers for you and your family going heavenward. Above all .. no matter what .. keep HOPE alive! I promise you .. if you do this .. the sun will rise again in your soul. xo, frannie
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 2:46:48 PM
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Bobbi, I was just re-reading my posts and those of all the other marvelous women here.. I know that being married to a psychiatrist in no way makes me an expert regarding anything having to do with depression or any other mental illness for that matter. I mention it because I have seen first hand the kind of frustration my husband, Doc, deals with when it comes to stigma and worse insurance! It infuriates him to no end that general practioners and family practice doctors because they are the gate-keepers for so many insurance companies can't make proper referrals to those who really have the specific training for illnesses related to brain chemistry, mood and anxiety to name a few. What happens more ofen than not is that you, the consumer, is sort of shrugged off by your family doctor because he/she really doesn't know exactly what to do and feels stuck too. Doc spends a lot of time lecturing to local family doctors here in town about just this issue.. Its always a sold-out crowd! Sounds like you are open to asserting yourself and advocating for yourself.. Another wonderful sign!
Regarding meds..ugh..what a topic.. I could go on and on.. So many psychiatrists out there seem to be whittled away to being only "pill pushers!" and this is really really sad. The other thing that's hard to understand is why medication seems to be the first thing to be discussed. Again, Doc has not only an MD but he got a PhD studying pharmacology...drugs/medicines and their effects on brain chemistry. We still know very little about how the brain works..all the chemistry involved but golly, we know an awful lot! Getting the right medication on board is like stabilizing the body so that healing can begin..that's why it is discussed first and foremost..so often there are imbalances that affect mood, anxiety, thought, sleep and so forth. These elements need to be regulated and stabilized before anything else can begin.. This process of adding medication to the body can take time...a few weeks even before you start sensing any measurable effect and even then the change can be subtle..something like, "wow, I didn't cry once today...or I'm actually enjoying the sun..or a fog has lifted" I've never heard people say things like, "Wow, do I feel like EVERYTHING is super!! I am sooooo happy now...life is so great, etc.etc.." and the reason for that has to do with all the other elements you are dealing with. Those environmental elements that you pointed out all contribute to your well being; mental and physical. You are in a co-existing state; your environment is causing you to feel depressed and you feel depressed so your environment is hard to cope with.
I feel very safe in saying that the sooner you commit to your health the better your chances..what you are dealing with is totally "curable"...medication can be a temporary fix to help stabilize and clear the fog..This could be truly an episodic event in your life that may take several months to put behind you but once its there, there it will stay..
Hot buttered rum..Yep!! sure sounds great! that and a warm cozy blanket on a couch in front of lame tv shows..don't go there.. so glad you have a sense of humor about it!! Another excellent sign!
I'm thinking of you..sending you positive thoughts...
all my love, Julia Hayes
being simple to simply be |
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Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 3:06:44 PM
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Well I actually cancelled my appointment today.. mostly because I knew she would just have me try something else without really even talking to me about it because thats what happened the first time.
I made an appointment with another Doctor, another general practitioner covered under my plan, but he actually took the time to talk to me about it a little bit when I was having tolerance problems with the last medication. He'll probably prescribe me something too, but I just thought a second opinion or something couldn't hurt...
My husband set me up to go out with his best friends girlfriend tonight. Dinner and a movie.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 4:24:04 PM
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What a sweet hubby! Sounds like he's really trying to help. While I totally know there are times for medication I would urge you to try the natural methods first: vitamins, enzymes, exercise,prayer and truthfully looking at what's going on in your life not just what you feel. We as women get so caught up in that that we can't always divide the two.
I have been told to take those types of meds for years but I can't do it with the list of side effects!
Hugs and Blessings,
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 5:19:26 PM
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Hugs, Bobbi,
Reading through the list of things the gals have posted here there is lots, lots, lots of good advice.
I had a spell about 10 years ago, about this time of year, where I couldn't stop crying every time I was alone. I hid it pretty well until one day at work for no reason at all I started crying in the middle of a meeting, and couldn't stop.... A coworker called her own psychiatrist and made me an appointment. He put me on Zoloft (like Prozac), I had manic swings. After a couple of weeks, he added lithium. After a few months of feeling better, at least not so depressed, he supported my getting off the chemicals and onto St. John's wort. About that time I started dating my current husband... things were really looking up.
BUT, my experience may not be the same as yours! There are many different causes of depression, some physical, some chemical, and some just because of the stress you are going through. It really does take a trained professional to know the difference between a serotonin level problem and a dopamine level problem, for example. Medications for one won't help the other at all! I would not presume to be able to tell the difference from the things you've shared here.
Here are some other things that helped me, other than the medication:
1. Changing to full-spectrum lightbulbs in my cubicle at work. (This time of year lots of people are affected by SAD, seasonal affective disorder, not enough sunlight due to short days)
2. Getting outside. Fresh air. Taking the dog for a walk. Trimming bushes in the landscape. Stacking firewood. Breathing. Physical activity. This also helps the sunlight...
3. Watching diet. The first bout of depression I had been taking a weight loss supplement that was mostly gelatin - under the supervision of one of the "chains" that advertise they will help you lose weight. I lost a lot of weight but found I was more and more depressed. I found out much later that in a famous Navy experiment they fed a bunch of sailors only gelatin for protein and a large majority experienced depression problems later... Interesting, huh? Vitamins can help but also making sure you get a balanced diet with complete proteins.
(See wikipedia article on gelatin for the amino acids lacking in gelatin -most notably tryptophan - then see http://www.overcoming-depression.com/tryptophan.html for some dietary suggestions..Please NOTE: TURKEY is high in tryptophan. Hope you're up to roasting a bird!)
4. Getting involved in regular group activity. Anything where other people were depending on me to get out of bed and do stuff. For me at the time it was a spinning and weaving guild. But anything you are interested in would work. Is there a garden club, ladies' fellowship at church, choir, Girl Scouts, charity, volunteer work, in your new area that would help you get over the hump? A group you used to belong to in your old place that has a branch in the new place? I needed a problem to focus on other than my own.
5. Support from my husband (then my boyfriend) really helped a lot. Sounds like yours is going to be there for you too.
One thing I was thinking that if your insurance won't cover the doctor or cost of medication, you might contact NAMI http://www.nami.org especially if there is a local group in your area. They might be able to help you find resources to help pay for treatment or assist in some way. I saw a flag downtown for a local office here recently during National Mental Health month last month - I hadn't been aware of them until then.
Anyway, we all care about you and keep coming back and checking in with us, won't you? Things will get better!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
Edited by - brightmeadow on Nov 20 2006 5:38:11 PM |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 6:07:20 PM
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Oh Bobbie, Im going to e-mail you. Please keep your chin up.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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MsCwick
True Blue Farmgirl
775 Posts
Cristine
Farmville
Virginia
USA
775 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 6:18:00 PM
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Another bit of advice from my Dr. who supports natural healing...she highly reccomended taking Vitamin B Complex AND Magnesium WITH my pill in the morning or whenever. I have found that even if I take the vitamins later in the day after the pill, I feel the effects of the meds work better. What those two things do is help your body "digest" and use the anti depressant to the best of it's ability. Even taking a multivitamin helps!
Love is to the heart what summer is to the farmer's year. It brings to harvest all the lovliest flowers of the soul. --Billy Graham |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 7:17:38 PM
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bobbi,
i have been away from the site for a while, but i just had to add my thoughts and prayers for you at this time. i cant believe all the major changes you have gone through lately.
i have experience the same reaction when i had multiple stresses to cope with in a short time, and like you i really didnt like the way i felt on meds.
i had several major stresses in a 6 month period one time and just essentially "crashed and burned" and my doc told me it was just a reaction to so much stress.
i think all the advice you have been given here has been great and i dont think i could add anything to it. i just want you to know that i think you are amazing to be going through all these changes and able to reach out and let your farmgirl friends know that you need help. thats what we are here for and i for one think you are a very bright articulate woman. i wish when i had my turmoil you could have helped me sort it out cause even under this stress you seem to be a very clear thinker.
i did end up having a thyroid disease which caused a lot of my inability to snap back as i always had, so i think the advice from one of the farmgirls who mentioned hormonal problems is worth looking into. i also like the idea of treating it with natural medicines if possible.
maybe one day we will get back to having systems where the psychiatrist really get to help people who are experiencing emotional distress, they do have a lot of knowledge to help out, it must be really frustrating to know things that can help and not be able to do what you can.
anyway, i will be thinking of you and hope each day you will feel more like yourself, it takes time sometimes for our spirits to adjust to change, be patient with yourself and kind, like you would be to your friends.
sending love your way and to your dh too.
love
fran
(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/) |
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hollybeary
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Holly
Ronald
WA
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 8:58:13 PM
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Bobbi,
Another idea for you girl. Some essential oils are good for depression, such as bergamot and geranium. Plus they will make your home smell good!! The tea light aroma lamps are reasonable. Use hot water and a couple drops of essential oil. Good places to buy... www.mountainroseherbs.com and www.zenithsupplies.com. Chin up Lady, better times will be here before you know it!!
Holly |
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Here's to Your Health: I'm not myself anymore, not sure what to do. |
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I'm not myself anymore, not sure what to do.
