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Cleaning Up:  Living a Life of Peace  |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 07:03:39 AM
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I have been married for almost 16 years and a mom for almost 15. During this time our lives have been much more chaotic than I care to admit. We lead very busy lives, with two businesses, plus hubby's full time job as a paramedic, plus have 3 wonderful boys, 3 pets and a home to care for. We are soon adding Pigs and 4H to the package. Also, we are very involved in our church (hubby plays drums, I run our coffee shop ministry, boys do youth group, hubby & I both are in a Care Group, etc.) All good things. The problems is we rarely have a plan, our home is always messy, and there is no sense of peace. For years I have just thought of this as "who I am . . . a fun but very disorganized person." At times I would fight it, but always believe it was who I am. Well, last night, while listening to a speaker at a Women's conference at my friends church, I had an "aaaahaaah" moment. She was talking on overcoming the junk in our lives that Satan wants us to believe is part of who we are and declaring the opposite to be true. I realized I have been believing the lie that I am a chaotic, disorganized person. I am now declaring I am an organized woman, leading a life of discipline, order and peace. If I believe I am disorganized and chaotic, then that is my truth. But if I believe I am not, I can change that truth. I know God wants better for me and my family and I certainly want better, so I must believe better of myself and my family. I know it will take work and discipline. All things worthwhile do, but just like the old saying "You are what you eat" we are what we believe! I am a women of peace and order. I believe that. Now I just need to act on that. We need to not sell ourselves short. Any negative title we have given ourselves, which I hear women do all the time, is not the life we are meant for. If you waste time saying, "I am so stupid," "I just don't know how to ______", I could never ________", "I'm so ugly", "No on finds me interesting," etc. then that will be your reality. Ladies, I encourage you to jump on this ride with me and declare yourself to be the woman God made you to be. He didn't make junk. We just allowed ourselves to believe he did.
Brenda (woman of peace)
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 09:00:51 AM
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Brenda - I agree with you - that we are what we believe we are in so very many ways. Let me echo you in saying that I *believe* that you are a peaceful, organized, orderly, fun woman who is creative and a wonderful mother.
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 10:05:17 AM
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Thanks for the reminder ! I used to spend alot of time reminding parents that their children (my students) needed POSITIVE reinforcement but we need it too! I AM A WOMAN OF UNLIMITED POSSIBILITIES!
with a happy heart |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 10:38:10 AM
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i would love to have heard the speaker at your women's conference. i guess 'chaos' and an 'unsettling' feeling would perhaps mean we to maybe need to look at ways we might 'organize' better. i truly do have 'dis-array' in my life from time to time .. and lordy knows .. lotsa' "stuff" ... but oh my .. the sublime JOY it brings to me. being a 'creative' person, and having so many creative friends, i sometimes think that being in the midst of a mess actually sparks our imaginations. now .. every few years .. an 'area' of life might give me a slight 'overwhelmed' feeling .. but that too, excites me to dive into a corner of my life and look at what i've been 'saving'. and oh my! the treasures i do sometimes find! MEMORIES! from time to time, i will go through things and 'divy' them up .. some to my daughters .. especially their childhood things i have been saving for years .. some i will tuck neatly back into the box and put back on the shelf. some i will goodwill .. some i will actually 'sell' in my shoppes (i often run across vintage clothing and treasures) .. some i just look at and think: HUH? .. now i wonder why that was so important to me that i saved it. lots of stuff brings a smile to my face as it brings memories back to me.
right now .. i have a building (i call it 'the schoolhouse') that looks like World War III occurred in the midst of it! and that is o.k. with me .. cuz' it is a 'treasure hunt' everytime i go in there to unearth things. it is my 'messy place'. someday, i may decide to 'clean it up' and 'organize' it .. but .. today is not that day .. and that is jus' o.k. with me. when it gets to be 'not o.k.' .. that's when i head out there with bags, boxes and trashbarrels!
clothes .. ohhh .. i do have an ability to stock-pile those .. but make a point each season to go through .. and keep, gift, good-will .. or cut into manageable pieces for future crafts projects.
with only the two of us here (plus two dawgs) .. our house doesn't really get 'messy' much ... with the business of 'life with children'. so that one doesn't bother me. i've never liked my own house to be 'messy' .. but smile when i visit the homes of friends and see the 'stuff their lives are made of on a day-to-day basis'. it makes them who they are in this chapter in their book of life.
i actually find more peace in a well-lived in home than i do in a 'magazine picture' environment. i believe that it's the 'little things' in life that our children will remember .. the table filled with their crayons and coloring books .. the box in the corner overflowing with toys .. .which, certainly from time to time spills over into the 'living areas' .. and it really just takes a short time to straighten that up .. and for me ... teaching the children to straighten up their own dragged-out stuff is a good thing .. but only after they have had the opportunity to play and be creative with it.
but yes, i do believe that we each have our 'comfort zones' as to when we become UN-comfortable with our lives .. whether it be 'stuff' .. being 'too busy' and 'over-committed' .. or things happening that we don't feel in control of. i think it is a 'pick and choose' thing .. deciding what is important to 'change' and what is important to 'let be'.
and oh my yes, i do believe that we are all 'perfect' ... just sometimes we want to 'fine-tune' our lives a little. honey chile' .. do what you feel the need to do and know the whole time .. that NO MATTER the mess .. YOU ARE PERFECT. xo, frannie
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 11:15:08 AM
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Wow! What great thoughts! I really needed to hear that today. Thanks for sharing!
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowtreecreek.com |
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 11:45:21 AM
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Brenda!
I can't believe how well you said that! And really, it is something I needed to hear...I struggle with the exact same thing! You, my friend, are a kindred spirit!
I am definately sending,
Love and light to you
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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lmckean
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
Leevelyn
Richmond
KY
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 12:37:50 PM
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Ahhhh....organization, or the lack thereof, can drive you crazy. While I don't know your religious leanings, there is a Christain author, Emilie Barnes, that addresses the issue very well. Her ministry is called "More Hours in My Day." I would recommend her "system" for anyone trying to become more organized. I have heard her speak and she makes it seem simple without being "preach-y" and even if you only use few tips, it will help with some of the chaos & clutter. http://www.morehours.bizland.com/MHIMD/
Lee in KY |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 7:24:32 PM
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Brenda, I certainly do understand what you are saying and we all lead such busy lives that things get a bit messy. Messy, to me, isn't always unorganized. Organization is good, Im very organized but if you let it, it can make you too rigid. There is a fine balance. Just be you. You ARE perfect the way God intended you to be.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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FlipFlopFarmer
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Carla
Molalla
Oregon
198 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2006 : 7:47:53 PM
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I just read Sink Reflections by Marla Cilley and have started implementing a lot of the ideas and methods because I too feel like you do. Both hubby and I work, farm and raise two awesome boys.
If there are two things that I have learned it's to DECLUTTER and DELIGATE. I have two very able bodied boys and I found myself picking up after then so much so that they started to diregard where they put anything because they knew it would just get taken care of.
I really love the Sink Reflections book and there's even info on her site http://www.flylady.net. I too was living in happy chaos but it really started to wear on me.
I totally agree that your perception is your reality and commend you on taking off in the right direction.
 Carla
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly. |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2006 : 6:35:28 PM
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I was recently reminded of St. Francis's prayer at my husband's aunt's funeral....
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2006 : 10:59:16 PM
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So glad to find so many kindred spirits here and to know I am not alone in how I am feeling. I do agree that if I was to be consumed with organization, rigidity might happen, but right now that is so opposite of how my life has been that I find it hard to imagine that ever being a problem for me! LOL! I finished the last night of my women's conference tonight and spent wonderful lunch with my girlfriends talking things over. It truly is a matter of finding a balance. The speaker encouraged us to be the women God wants us to be . . . that is to be ourselves in the light God sees us (not in the skewed light others may cast on us.) So it doesn't mean me trying to be Martha Stewart or even Mary Jane. It means me being Brenda, but being the best Brenda I can be. I love Emily Barnes and have read one of her books, but not the one you mentioned, so I will have to get that. I have also heard her on the radio and she is such an encourager. I haven't read "Sink Reflections" but did belong to Flylady for a while. It is great, but for me the emails became too many that I couldn't keep up. But I did print off her "zones" and how to clean them. It is helpful. But for me this is more of a mindset, since it goes beyond physical clutter and into our schedules and quality of lives. I am claiming the things God wants for my life and I want also . . . peace and order, all while still being my creative self. Blessings to each of you!!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 11:51:38 AM
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Brenda I can't add anything to what you and other have said, but just wanted to tell you how much I agree with what you said. You know when it's God's prompting to be more organized or get rid of stuff or whatever as opposed to the pressure we (or others) put on ourselves.
Thank you for starting this thread, it is very enjoyable to read and has reminded me of a few things I needed to hear myself!
Bonnie
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10 |
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2006 : 1:33:18 PM
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I needed to re-read this today...I have been out of commission..I had surgery on my jaw a week ago, and then it got infected! I have been down and out! Boy, does my house show it!!
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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Kelly43
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
NJ
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2006 : 05:30:58 AM
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Brenda, have been away for a while so just read this for the first time. I am you!!! You have described my life exactly (except I have girls, but we belong to 5 4-H groups and are very active in church and the community). I would love to take this ride with you. I just want things to SLOW DOWN!!! Keep us updated on some things you are trying to get a hold of the real us. I'm so inspired now. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Kelly |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2006 : 7:28:39 PM
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Hi Kelly,
So glad to find kindred spirits! As an update, no I am not suddenly Martha Stewart and Heloise all rolled up in a big bow, but I am definitely seeing great improvements. The main reason is because now I believe I can have peace and order and I KNOW it is the life God wants for me. I am not trying to climb Mount Everest (or Mt. Laundry!) in a day, but I am moving forward. I have become accountable to a wonderful older woman in my chuch who will be inspecting my progress! I am also trying to slow down and take time for devotions and just regrouping. Just sitting and reading a good book while sipping a cup of tea is so calming and healing. I am just trying to do everything I do slower and with a purpose, so that I take time to appreciate all I have and be the mom and wife I need to be. The funny thing is, in slowing down, I have actually moved forward faster! Things are coming together much easier and I think it is because they are motivated by peace and calm rather than stress and overload. Hubby and I went out of town for a couple days and my wonderful mother-in-law stayed with the kids and while she was here she completely got all my laundry caught up! What a blessing! So I guess at this point my best advice is to slow down, know that God loves you and sees you as a woman of peace and order so that is how you need to see yourself and know that chaos and stress is not of God and has no place in your life. I am moving forward and I pray that I can be an encouragement to you or anyone here that may relate to press on. Blessings to you all!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2006 : 07:02:45 AM
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| I'm sure the angels are rejoicing in Heaven after hearing about how we all know we are in need of slowing down and giving thanks for what we have. And I feel that you are right...I get more done, too, when I slow down and do it right! God's blessings and love, Susan |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2006 : 9:02:55 PM
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Hi Ladies,
I just read through Brenda's original post, and all the great responses. I would like to add something I have learned from my own experience. I prayerfully and respectfully do not wish to offend anyone in any way, as I said... this is from my personal experience.
First, when I started reading Brenda's list of "good things" I could have been reading about myself. I am a Christian, wife, mother, teacher... For many years our family was active in our local church in countless ways. I have done every job from teaching to scrubbing toilets. I also have led every kind of community group I can think of at one time or another.
I strongly believe we (especially in The Church) are called to serve each other and to be a community to each other. But sometimes... when peace becomes elusive and chaos reigns in our lives, household, or famliy...I think it is time to reevaluate our involvement in things outside our home and family. AND, lest you think I'm finger pointing, understand that I think we are all in a constant state of reevaluation-or should be. What works for us at one point will not always work. "To everything there IS a season..." :) Some of the good things I was involved in were often the very things that took my focus away from where it needed to be. In my case, on Christ. Others may apply this to their lives & beliefs in other ways.
My husband, an elder at church, was asked to serve as such because he is a Godly man, and his family is "in order". Soon after he started serving, the pressure to be at every church function (and I do mean every) became overwhelming. So the very thing he was admired for in the beginning, was put at risk. Serving as elder-a good thing-became a bad thing, or at least a questionable thing. Does that make sense?
I have been a Children's Ministry Director, a Teacher, a Youth Leader, ran the church coffee house, done janitorial work, served at banquets, oraganized greeters, headed up Women's Ministry, been a speaker at women's retreats, and led more Bible studies than I can count. My husband & oldest son have been at least as active as myself. ALL good things. Sometimes the pressure to serve or achieve, or the biggie... TO PLEASE is so much, that we lose sight of WHY we do these things in the first place. Sometimes we are guilted into it. Sometimes we are "fooled" into it. Sometimes we feel like it's the right thing to do. Thinking we have to be all things to all people is a huge lie-and a huge burden on our hearts.
Michele mentioned balance... balance is SO important in our lives. Easy to say, hard to achieve. I am continually revising my "plan" to stay in balance. I am by nature a tidy person, but I am also a very creative person. I notice when things are not as they should be on the inside (my inside), my home & family reflect this. So while decluttering & tidying things up is certainly helpful, it cannot give us the inward peace we so desire. In my life I find that those times of chaos are a symtom of some deeper personal messiness. As Bonnie mentioned, we need to be open to God's prompting in those areas. I write these things today not to discourage, but to encourage each woman to know and understand that she is a beautiful creation, no matter where she is in her journey. I also encourage each woman here to continue to evaluate what works for HER, and to continue to find balance in her life. :)
I appreciate being able to speak my mind here and still be loved by my farmgirls. :) I do realize that not everyone here is of the same faith, and I welcome EVERYONE'S thoughts on this subject.
In closing I wanted to recommend a book to those who are interested. It's called "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge. The Eldredges are Christian authors. This book is a reminder of each woman's individual beauty. I highly reccommend it.
Blessings!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
Edited by - abbasgurl on Nov 08 2006 9:11:09 PM |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 02:45:24 AM
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Rhonda,
That was simply beautiful, well-said, and very true in my life!
Bonnie
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10
www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9092 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9092 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 03:52:08 AM
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Rhonda,
There you are, haven't seen you about in a few days.Your above message is very true, its like that old saying, keep your eye on the ball, there are so many things that can take you off center. You know what my warning signal is? Playing solitaire, you know the card game. Its a game of order, putting everything in line. So I have found over the years when I find myself playing that chances are something is wrong someplace. Isn't that funny.
Rhonda, don't you have a craft show this weekend? Sure would like to see your things. I know I love the things you sent me.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2006 : 4:25:28 PM
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Rhonda,
I couldn't agree with you more. I also was soooo over involved in church at one point that our family came second at best. God clearly revealed to me the need to put my family fist and see them as my "mission field" at least, as you put it so well, for this season. So while I am still involved in church it is definitely in a more balanced way now. My husband also is no longer on the church board as it is a large church with big plans and of course with big plans, came big time commitments. He has also stopped playing drums for the symphony in our community, which was hard for him as he loves it, but once again, it is not the right season.
When I was talking about decluttering, I also was meaning spiritual decluttering, though maybe I didn't make that clear. Living a life of peace means having a life that is in order . . . the order God wants for us. While it does mean the actual physical chaos and disorder, it also means the thought life and attitudes. It of course, as I am sure we all agree, is an on-going challenge each day. I consecrate my life and actions to God not just on a daily basis but hourly and by the minute if needed. God gives me the grace to handle things through his eyes not my own. I really hope this thread continues to be an encouragement to all. We simply need to slow down, get our own agendas out of the way and let God be God and our lives will become peaceful. Jesus is referred to the prince of peace, so if we strive to be Christlike, we are, in essence, striving to live a life of peace. Wishing peace and joy to all of my wonderful farmgirl friends!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 05:24:56 AM
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Aw brenda that's wonderful :) You're a great inspiration and I love how you're spreading the word! Three cheers for Brenda!
"... to thine ownself be true." |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 05:58:53 AM
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Hip Hip Hooray!...
...she is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
Prov 31:10
www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
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lamamama
True Blue Farmgirl
255 Posts
Melanie
CA
USA
255 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 10:02:32 AM
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WOW!
It has truly been a prayer anwered to find this thread. First thanks go to you, Brenda, for beginning this band of angels. Blessings on you! And what deeply felt and beautifully written responses & addtions. I have been in tears reading these posts, & can only express profound gratitude. This issue has been the single biggest struggle in my life for over 5 years. Nothing seemed to give me the strength to find the way out, but now I know what needs to be done. The proverbial light bulb has clicked on! Yes, yes, yes...... I send my energy & heart to this chain, & I declare myself a member.
Melanie |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2006 : 9:16:07 PM
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Melanie,
How wonderful that our collective experiences have helped you in your struggle! I do believe that our struggles are meant to personally refine us, but also to help us have empathy towards others in similar situations. So happy to hear you are now feeling strong enough to find what works for you! God Bless you in your journey!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 10:14:33 AM
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Wow! It is amazing how we can encourage and build up one another just by honestly sharing our struggles and how God is helping us to deal with them. I am so glad this thread has been a blessing and it continues to bless me! Remember girls, we are in a state of being purified. While it might hurt going through the fire, in the end we will be God's priceless jewels! Hugs and blessings to all!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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hollybeary
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Holly
Ronald
WA
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2006 : 9:32:22 PM
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| Thanks for the Flylady tip. I want to be more organized. It has been very helpful to me on starting to declutter my house. Thanks again!!! |
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Cleaning Up: Living a Life of Peace |
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Living a Life of Peace
