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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Made the News - "No Hugging..."  |
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MtnGrlByTheBay
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
Erin
Lexington Park
MD
USA
171 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 07:33:50 AM
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http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/St-Marys-County-Schools-Restrict-Hugging-Homemade-Treats-for-Safety-198883141.html
So... before you gasp, I'll let you know that I support these restrictions (even though I do find it unfortunate). Because I'm the VP of our school's PTA and because there's a meeting tonight, our school's principal asked to bring this up to gain insight. Well, I can't be at the meeting until the very end, so I sent her this:
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I won't be at the meeting until the last 15 minutes or so (coaching baseball @ the Middle School). However, I did leave some notes with [PTA President], which contain this statement:
"FYI – If the subject comes up regarding the latest media attention about volunteering, I support and agree with many of the decisions made by the School Board. I know the requirements may seem extreme, but given today’s society, and the constraints set forth regarding privacy, green initiatives, background checks, and general safety, volunteering must take on a new perspective. Volunteering must not cease, but held more accountable. Degreed Teachers spend 4 or more years learning how, not only to educate our children, but how to safely interact with them. Higher standards for volunteers and visitors are not unreasonable. Quality vrs Quantity Volunteers may also apply."
If you're busy, leave it at that (2 cents), but if you want to read my full opinion (25 cents), keep reading....
I guess I'll go on to say (for whatever it's worth),
As far as homemade goods... well, if I didn't work full time, maybe I'd have more time to bake, and thus feel a little more strongly about the issue, but I really don't have a strong opinion on that. I only feel that kids with any sort of disability - even allergies - must learn to adapt to the majority. Providing a "store bought" alternative ALONG with the baked goods might be a better compromise.
Regarding Birthday Invitations, it's a competitive world out there, like it or not, and these are lessons that are just part of growing up. Just because they don't get a paper card, doesn't mean they don't KNOW about a particular party they may hear about from peer conversations. With that said, if handing out invitations is DISTRACTING, then it should be avoided. In all honesty, in addition to email invites, I let [older son] slip 4 discrete invitations into his buddies' backpacks just last week. I told him not to flaunt them because that would be rude. I don’t think anyone noticed. On the reverse, [Older son] gets invited to lots of parties, so if he misses a few, I'm really not going to be disappointed, and neither is he. Lesson learned - sometimes you just get left out. Get over it and move on. And maybe, just maybe, you were left out for a reason and you ought to work on your compatibility skills? [Younger son] does NOT get invited to a lot of parties, and it could be because his social skills need a little work. We're okay with that, and are trying to learn from it. Again, I really don't care either way if invitations are allowed or not allowed. There are many other ways to get an invitation out... it's just a lingering tradition. Sure, it's nice, but not essential.
Hugging. Boy, don't we sound like a sour bunch? Well, aside from the "good touch, bad touch" lesson, think of it this way - if people are afraid children are going to get left out because of not getting a certain cupcake or birthday invitation, just think how left out a child feels when a peer's parent comes in and hugs half a dozen kids, and Little Jonny DOESN'T get a hug! Dang, that's rough! My point is extreme, but really, we're talking about distractions here more than anything. And yes, some adults take the hugging to extremes, and sure, maybe they have darker motives for being so "touchy, feely." A dozen years ago, when I was learning about Child Abuse in college, and even before I did my student teaching, we were told, "It's okay for a child to come to YOU and hug, but not the opposite." Furthermore, make it quick and subtle. We were also taught to ASK a child if he needed a hug. That works too. BUT, you know, with all that is brought forth by the media today, maybe even THAT policy doesn't work anymore. Sad, but if that's the rule, I'm okay with it. Can the kids still hug each other?
I sense that these issues are really NOT as specific as they sound, but just a way of dealing with the ABUNDANCE of volunteers. Do we really have that many? Gee, because there are currently 75+ Volunteer Opportunities on the [school] PTA Website, and only about 20 are filled. I guess they are all so tired from volunteering in school all day, that they JUST can't POSSIBLY help out any other time. I don't mean to offend, as I'm sure this is not the case here at [schoool], but I've sensed a mentality that might occur within the Daily School Volunteer Circle - a certain competitiveness - as in, "I'm at the school 2 days a week." vrs "Well, I am at the school EVERY DAY!" I hope I’m wrong in that.
I'd also like to know just what volunteers DO all day long. You all know that at the beginning of the year I attempted to ramp up the services of the "Teacher Support and Appreciation Committee." I wanted to gather parent volunteers together to HELP teachers not just during the day, but from home too. As a working parent, I was hoping that maybe I could help a teacher out by cutting out materials, creating worksheets, stapling packets together, or even grading spelling tests from my home! NOPE. Copies are outsourced, can't grade because of privacy, promethean boards replace - a lot. I didn’t take offense, but just began to realize that there really isn't a lot for a "volunteer" to do for the teachers now - or at least - that's the way it seems. The only help they appear to need - is financial. Ha, don't we all? When I was a kid, my teachers never had volunteers in the classroom. When I went to college, as future teachers we were told to never expect to get help. In fact, about the ONLY way you EVER got help was if you hosted a STUDENT teacher in your classroom!
Sometimes, having volunteers is just more trouble than it's worth. I'll give you an example that has occurred for me personally within the past few days. Somehow I've managed to be a coach for baseball. I started with one Asst. Coach - [DH]. I made a Practice Plan designed for 12 players and 2 Coaches. On Monday, I miraculously got two offers from parents willing to help coach. Now, on one hand, this is great - but on the other hand, I had to gather up all the forms, training and background checks for them AND had to re-plan all the drills to accommodate 2 more coaches so they would have SOMETHING TO DO! Will it be worth it? Probably, but I'll let you know in a few weeks.
The whole "having lunch with your kid" thing, well, I can live without that too. By the time kids are 5, they should naturally begin to develop a sense of independence. I don’t think parents should hinder that. They didn't come up with the saying, "Cut the Apron Strings" for no reason. Kids and parents should learn to go 6.5 hours without each other. Go volunteer at the soup kitchen or animal shelter instead. Parents do NOT have "the right" to see their kid in school at any time. I don't have "the right" to go volunteer in the ER. The point is, that just because you are a parent, does not make you qualified to be in a school.
I felt that Dr. Martirano's phone message last night was thoughtful, however, I didn't feel "damage control" was needed. The media sensationalized it... but don't they always? I think if the Utopian "Restrictive Bar" is set high, and Common Sense lets us come just under it, we'll be fine.
Erin Cole
TCES PTA VP
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Do you volunteer at your school? Bring in home-made cupcakes? Visit for lunch? Hug?
^^^I'm a RidgeRunner, and will always feel best when surrounded by the PA mountains.^^^
www.lastlapgang.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 1:42:50 PM
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WOW I am glad we home school...I still think my children above 5 still need me as their parent. At some point yes cutting the apron strings, 5's a little young though to me. And wow not even a hug....just wow...some day maybe every one can just turn into robots so no one gets offended.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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BarnHeart
True Blue Farmgirl
83 Posts
Autumn
New Albany
IN
USA
83 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 6:33:08 PM
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My oldest son is in Kindergarten this year, and I've volunteered several times in his classroom. They do have a "no treat" policy for birthdays (which I love - MY kid is the one with food allergies; he's anaphylactic to eggs and nuts, and has an Epi Pen in the classroom as a precaution). The no treat rule is specific to each classroom, however, so when the problem arises in another grade, they will make an exception to the homemade goods ban for my son. I get it, and I appreciate their concern. The safety precautions are great; you have to be buzzed into the school, show a picture ID, which is then put into the computer system, and in turn, it prints out a badge showing your name and picture that you must wear when you're in the school. To sign out, you turn the badge in.
We're brand new to public school, so it'll be interesting to see how things progress as my children age.
I love wool! Visit my website at www.heartfeltwool.com to see my creations! |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2013 : 8:20:49 PM
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I know this wasn't what you were trying to illustrate, but yikes! As a Newtowner, I'm getting so sick of our town being mentioned each and every time there is some sort of controversial rule or law or negative issue coming up in the news. If I had a dime for every time I've read "in the wake of Newtown..." Our town is sooo much more than that. There's no anti-hugging rule...it's a warm, close town that unfortunately was the home of someone very evil. We have "peanut free" classrooms and homemade treats are welcome. I'd be sad if I couldn't send in something homemade. And I wouldn't want to live in a town where hugging is against the rules!
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Farmgirl of the Month, January 2013
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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MtnGrlByTheBay
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
Erin
Lexington Park
MD
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2013 : 10:13:37 AM
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It's been interesting. Our Superintendent has sort of pulled back the initial "guidelines." He now states that the guide was taken to extremes and out of context. I really didn't think he needed to do damage control. At our PTA meeting, our principal clarified, that yes, the "treats rule" did take allergies into account, but there were additional concerns of sanitation AND the fact we're all trying to get the kids to eat healthier! She said she'd rather kids donate a book to the library in celebration of their birthday, or hand out pencils... instead of cupcakes. Can't fault that!
The whole playground deal too, was more of a liability concern rather than a sexual predator concern.
And yes, Nicole, I'll bet you do wish you had a dime for every time your town is used in comparison. And really, this issue started back in OCTOBER 2012, well before the terrible incident. Still, I'm sure the example was used to "ramp up" justification. Bummer about that.
And it's not really "anti-hugging" but just more of a "let the child come to YOU" kind of deal. It's just that some of our schools are really over-run with distracting volunteers.
...and I have to snicker at my comment about my volunteer coaches. Of the two, one's pretty compromising... but the other thinks he's God's gift to baseball, won't take the training, tells me my plans are not productive (even though the league VP said they are the most organized he'd ever seen) and totally derailed our practice.
Point: yes, VOLUNTEERS CAN BE MORE TROUBLE THAN THEY'RE WORTH!
^^^I'm a RidgeRunner, and will always feel best when surrounded by the PA mountains.^^^
www.lastlapgang.com |
Edited by - MtnGrlByTheBay on Mar 28 2013 10:18:17 AM |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Made the News - "No Hugging..." |
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Made the News - "No Hugging..."
