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Across the Fence:  Help! I need a joke  |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 4:08:43 PM
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I am going for hip replacement surgery tomorrow morning and just remembered that the physical therapist gave us homework last week - we don't get out of physical therapy the day after surgery until we have told a joke.
I am terrible at telling jokes. I always get the setup wrong, and if I remember the punchline, I tell it backwards.
So I need one that I can remember after a day of anesthesia, or at least one I can write down on a 3x5 index card.
If anyone knows one about hospitals, even better!
It can't be off-color or profane. Can you help?
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blogs at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com (farming) http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com (knitting) or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2978 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 4:19:01 PM
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Where do bees go to the bathroom? At the BP.
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 4:28:37 PM
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The only joke o can think of is long and raunchy. That could be your joke right there if you put your mind in the gutter.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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shanda
True Blue Farmgirl
522 Posts
Shanda
Broken Bow
OK
USA
522 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 4:38:33 PM
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How many Doctors does it take to change a light bulb? 0 - they get a nurse to do it.
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 4:59:05 PM
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You ask the P.T: "So, Doc... Will I be able to dance when this is all over?"
The P.T. will answer something like, "Yes."
You reply: "Great! I couldn't dance at all before!"
Bada-BA!
Good luck, Brenda! I hope the surgery goes well and that you have speedy full recovery!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Feb 11 2013 4:59:29 PM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 5:04:06 PM
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P.S. Brenda - That is one of my husband's favorite jokes. He told it to the doctor performing surgery on his foot WHILE the doctor was performing surgery... And, if you're wondering, the doctor was wrong... My hubby couldn't dance before the surgery, and he still can't now! LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 5:27:22 PM
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Nini, my husband's favorite song is "I won't dance, don't ask me!" I wanted to take him square dancing and the only one he says he will do is tractor square dancing.
If you have never seen this before, here is a link: http://youtu.be/WiKyIVw8cmE or search for tractor square dancing in youtube. We saw it one year at the International Harvester Festival where we stopped in just to look for parts, and now he has an excuse to not dance...says he'll only do it on a tractor!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blogs at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com (farming) http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com (knitting) or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
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buzzn bee
True Blue Farmgirl
1061 Posts
Deborah
Muncie
Indiana
USA
1061 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 06:18:22 AM
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Here is one for you!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
HUgs!
Debbie H.
Buzzn Bee |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 07:27:05 AM
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Our favorite joke is submitted by my 3 year old: "How do you fix a broken pumpkin?" "With a pumpkin patch!"
(fits of giggles ensue)
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Rosemary
True Blue Farmgirl
1825 Posts
Virginia
USA
1825 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 09:47:57 AM
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Q: What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe with a sheep dog?
A: Melon-Collie babies :) |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 1:30:32 PM
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I wrote one but accidently posted on Antique Buggy.
I know know how I did that.
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter!
Silly Boys Trucks Are For Girls |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 3:15:30 PM
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Im terrible at jokes, but wanted to wish you well in your surgery Brenda!
Praying for a speedy recovery!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
View my New Blog:
http://simplesuburbanpleasures.blogspot.com
Everyday is a beautiful day, and sometimes the weather is even nice! |
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buzzn bee
True Blue Farmgirl
1061 Posts
Deborah
Muncie
Indiana
USA
1061 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 4:11:13 PM
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Nini,
I will have to remember what your hubby told the doctor when I get brave enough to make my appointment to have my knee scoped.
Too Funny!
Love ya sister!
Debbie H.
Buzzn Bee |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2013 : 5:03:58 PM
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So glad to hear you're doing well, Brenda! Saying prayers that your recovery will be full and speedy! :)
Mara! Yours is my favorite joke of all! LOL! My guys both laughed and said, "Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!"
Ooooohhh...Debbie... That doesn't sound very fun at all. I'll be praying for you, too! (Love ya, too!)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2013 : 09:03:23 AM
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Will be saying a prayer for you. Keep us posted.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Across the Fence: Help! I need a joke |
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Help! I need a joke
