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Across the Fence:  Citygirls are So Strange  |
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Linda Houston
True Blue Farmgirl
538 Posts
Linda
Lake Charles
Louisiana
USA
538 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 02:38:31 AM
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I do love this thread....Two of my grandchildren (city kids) are amazed when they come to visit Grammy....We go out to our farm and there are tractors, a pond (that stays open all night) stars, camp fires, burning leaves and DIRT (their favorite) !!!!! We enjoy watching their reactions and the fun they have.
I was a farmgirl and then moved to a city most of my life. Some of the people I became friends with had NO idea about farmlife (except Hee Haw and Dallas) The 2 women from the florist have probably never seen a true farmgirl. To stare at anyone for any reason is bad manners, however, maybe they were stunned that we do exist and love the life we live.
I am in a small city---my dress code comes from the many parts of the US I have lived---I think the SW influnced me more than any other place. I wear my jewelry from out there and yes, I do get "looks", but I am a jewelry freak and so what.
I do appreciate the posts and different idea. I totally agree with y'all....we have the gift of expressing how we feel with out judgement. |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 07:40:41 AM
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Yesterday, I told another farmgirl about my experience and she shared that she had a similar one this week. The area we are living in is being taken over by big fancy horse farms, many of whos owners have no idea how us strange little farmgirls get along (many actualy think we are wasting "horse country" with our little homestead type operations--no nothing against horses or the people who love them, that's just the way it is here). Well, this friend of mine and a guest were out ridding bareback with halter and leadline rigs and my friend got down to pick a bunch of flowers. While she was getting ready to remount this party of very proper horse people came along, two mounted English and two others in a buggie, and stopped to stare while she remounted. When they finaly went on thier way my friend over heard them discussing how aweful it was that she would ride in such a manner. I guess it's just going around this week.
As for meeting new people like Fran mentioned, I do love that. I ran out to the barn before going to the airport one day and forgot to change into town shoes...I talked to a lot of people while I waited, everybody wanted to know why I was wearing mud boots. It's when they stare or make snide remarks that it gets to me. I am never sure how to reply and sometimes they look just as strange to me as, I am sure, I look to them.
Have a great day, Farmgirls.
Trina
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Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. Proverbs 27:23 |
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mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 07:55:04 AM
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| I think everyone is amazing! I learn so much from all walks and styles of people. Keeping an open mind helps. I feel bad that she stared at you...maybe she thought you looked cool! We are all who we are.....and that's a good thing! Susan |
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BlueApple
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Julia
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 08:05:01 AM
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What a teachable moment you had! Just remember...people are rude because they are afraid of what they don't know and afraid of what is different. That's when you put on your best farmgirl smile and farmgirl hospitality! I'm slowly changing from wearing pants to skirts (and throw an apron or two in there as well) and I'm sure I will get a few comments. But I will embrace them with the knowledge that while it may not be for them...it is something I believe in so will explain with patience. I read a book called Dressing with Dignity and it made so much sense to me - but I have to remember that it may not to someone else. Hugs, and keep that wonderful farmgirl smile!:-)
Julia
BlueApple Farm |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 09:20:34 AM
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gurlfrenz .. let 'mean-spirited' stuff just roll offa' your back like water on a duck's! to let this kinda' stuff ever 'get to us' in life .. .is ALWAYS to hand the victory to the hurtful one ... and if that truly is what they were after ... THEY WON!!! to smile and wave or say a kind thing in return is to bring VICTORY to both of you .. and maybe, just maybe, they will be affected by your kindness in return. remember .. they are just WORDS .. and although WORDS can be very powerful things ... always let them find power through LOVE.
and this is a little 'proverb' that i have lived by for most of my life:
'there is YOUR truth
... there is MY truth
... and then ...
there is THE truth'
so when you are perceiving that someone is looking strangely or judgementally at you ... sometimes it might just be because they do not YET understand ... or perhaps it is soooo very strange to their own upbringing and what they have been 'taught' to be 'right, or proper or normal'. also, we need to always remember that when we perceive something comiing from ANOTHER .. it is usually colored by what we have come to believe ourselves ... and if we reeeeely look inside ourselves .. sometimes from our own insecurities.
i try to 'put myself' in the place of the 'other' .. .when i hear or see such things. i try to understand reasons they might be reacting they way they are.
now I, personally, DO care what others think and feel and say ... but i do not let their beliefs 'overrule' my own beliefs if i know my own to be honorable .. and yes, sometimes, it does indeed make me take a closer look at myself and perhaps learn something about me.
our 'differences' are not really "the big stuff" that life is made of .. whether or not we wear an apron to town .. or are barefooted when someone knocks at our door ... or have our hair 'done' or 'un-done' .. or like to have bright, shiny, well-manicured nails .. or prefer sitting at home eating freshly popped pop-corn while watching a movie on the tv as a family .. or to lie in the hammock and read a book to our children .. or go to see 'live theatre' in the city .. or to visit museums .. or travel to far-away lands or just muck around in our own back-yards .. wear our hair in pigtails or a 'bouffant up-do' .. to wear homespun dresses or gowns of silk. whether we feel full-filled and exhilirated being a full-time mother and home-maker, working in a factory creating goods that are used by people all over ameria, clerking at a local grocery market seeing customers and friends on a daily and weekly basis, till the fields on our own land all day, own a small business in our nearest town, or if we enjoy the thrill and challenge of being a member of a team in a big city corporate firm, the excitement of wall-street .. ONE is not BETTER or WORSE than another if they make us happy. most professions are pretty necessary .. all are VALID .. and they are ALL wonderous in and of themselves as are most people.
FARM LIFE .. CITY LIFE .. all are made up of god's creations and all are to be honored as such. xoxo
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 09:30:35 AM
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In my experience of owning a market garden that is open to the public, I've run into both nice and not so nice city folks. I have a real problem with those that pull into my driveway and talk down to me in a simple, patronizing way because I'm a farmer. But then I just smile as they try and make their way around the farm and garden in high heels and fancy clothes, pretending to be a higher species. Fortunately the snotty, city folks in their fancy cars are few and far between. BUT, there is an upside to this too...watch me go if they bring children with them! They will get to get an egg out of a nest box or pull carrots for the bunnies or fill a berry box with strawberries. I love to spend time with the children and show them in a fun way where their food comes from with the hope that they leave here with a positive experience and homemade cookie in hand. It's an easy way to seize an opportunity to teach what we are all about.
Di
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 09:43:59 AM
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Di darlin' ... do you ever have farm families that stop by that you also have problems with?
My city friends that have come to visit me 'in the country' of kentucky pretty much wear the same clothes that they do back home. We always reserved the 'dress-up' clothes for church and the office. And pretty much always wear jeans and tennies or sandals in the evenings and on weekends when we don't have to dress 'for the public'.
I wonder how we might react if we went into our local banks for a loan .. and the loan officer was bare-footed or had on muddy boots and osh-koshes? Or went to a restaurant for dinner and our servers (and the people preparing our food) hadn't had time to clean their hands or change their muddy clothes after working in the fields that day. Or our policemen walked the beat in shorts and sandals .. or the preacher-man didn't wear his 'sunday go to meetin' clothes when preaching from the pulpit.
i absolutely would not treat any of these situations with a lack of respect .. but i do wonder that i might not 'stare' in disbelief for a few moments. i am not the type of person (city or country) that looks down on others for reasons for what they wear .. or what their profession is .. and i would HONESTLY say this in truth, if i were talking to a scantily clad 'woman of the night' .. but i WOULD stare in wonder! AND i would LOVE to talk to her about her profession. (I'm reading a most wonderful book right now about a MADAM in Kentucky .. who was a mother and Sunday School teacher .. who turned to this side of life to feed her child and herself during the Great Depression).
oh chile' .. i have indeed seen country folk 'look down their noses' at other country folk .. and i have seen me dis-respected because of 'the uniform' i wore at a particular time and place. HAVE A STORY TO TELL.
During the Vietnam Veteran's March on Washington, D.C.
I was working for the head of the Civil Division of the U.S. Department of Justice at the time. (President Nixon named this man to be the Director of the FBI when J.Edgar Hoover died.) AND .. as head of the Civil Division ... he was the man who DENIED the marchers the legal right to MARCH. A handfull of young attorneys in the Civil Division, talked to him and convinced him to permit the March!!
Soooo ... i came into work dressed in my pretty little 'suit' with high heels. There was a HUGE crowd surrounding the building .. about 15 deep! I had to STRUGGLE to get to the front door! Guards (in UNIFORM .. not bermudas and colorful shirts) ... got through the crowd and walked me to the door.
I tried an experiment the next day .. .I SWEAR .. i wore my BLUE JEANS and Surplus ARMY JACKET with peace sign patches sewn to it. The crowds were still there) .. and like the parting of the RED SEA .. a path was made for me as it seemed to the crowd i was BRAVELY making my way to the doors. HOWEVER, when the guards saw me they doubled-up on me ... and even though i showed them my 'badge' .. they made several phone calls to 'check me out'.
Interesting how our 'uniforms' affect how people see us .. even though we are stll the same person. I did not change my attitude or demeanor at all either day .. i was still just 'me' .. in different clothing. It truly was how each group 'perceived' my actions given the time and place, situtation and what seemed to them 'inappropriate' .. or 'enemy' clothing.
When i got to the office .. my boss, who KNEW ... "WHO" ... i was .. looked at me with an eye-cocked and a question mark written all over his face. I told him of my 'experiment' .. and he understood.
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Sep 23 2006 10:09:32 AM |
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 11:03:35 AM
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Point taken Frannie, but I think you missed mine. What I was trying to point out was that it was possible to take a situation such as I described and turn it into something positive. Also, an opportunity to educate.
Frankly, I have more of a problem with people's attitudes than I do with what they wear, it just so happens that the two are AT TIMES connected. There were no stereotypes stated, nor intended.
And to answer your question... no, I have never had a problem with any farm folks...which isn't to say they don't exist, I just have never run into them.
And for the record, I have a university education, worked for years for an architectural group in the penthouse of a downtown office building, was active in local theater and I shopped in malls. So I've walked that side of life as well.
Di
xoxo
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 3:59:04 PM
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gurlfren .. i did indeed see your point .. about the children ... just truly wondered if you've ever run into farm folks who visited you and seemed rude or 'uppity' ...
i tend to look at both city and country folk through 'rose colored' glasses .. but i don't wear 'blinders' .. i do see friendly and unfriendly ... silly and sane in people from all walks of life. i have SURELY been 'looked down on' by folks in this lifetime .. i just don't 'cotton to' anyone who treats others with any sort of disdain .. and oh my yes, i have picked up on that in this lifetime too. and yes, snotty, patronizing people are a pain in my butt .. for just a moment in time .. lordy! the stories i have heard from a few 'city folk' who moved to the country about how they were treated as 'unwelcomed' .. because they are from 'off'. the few i am referring to say that they were not treated 'rude' so much as just 'cold' and 'ignored' .. like they didn't 'belong'. they say they felt that THEY were being 'looked down on'. i tell these people .. to 'get involved' .. roll up your sleeves and work for a local cause .. care about the people .. show them that all people are created equal. and HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE towards everyone you meet. NO (i tell them) ... you will not have the history they have from birth .. as they will not have yours .. but you can be welcomed .. as hank and i have been in our small country area of Green County, Kentucky.
There is one woman who moved to Green County from Maryland .. and she felt his way about Country Folk and was going to move back to the city where she felt happy and at home. I told her to look inside herself and see if she wasn't being unfriendly herself. And yes, judgemental about the country life. And .. to do the things i mentioned above. SHE DID! She participated in Leadership Green County .. she joined the Arts Council and is a major force in working towards keeping our environment .. air and water in this area safe and clean. She feels so accepted now because she became a part of the community and stopped having her feelings hurt.
I think sometimes it is like a mirror ... reflecting back to each other how we feel .. and i'm not sure what comes first, the chicken or the egg.
There is another couple who moved here long before hank and i did ... and their reputation proceeded them .. i heard that they acted like they were better than Kentuckians ... that they looked down upon and even 'vocalized' this disdain .. AND .. this couple had a business here that did NOT succeed ... (BIG SURPRIZE!!!) i still gave them the benefit of the doubt. they learned right away that i did NOT side with their beliefs. but i remained friendly to them anyway. they told me that they had NO INTENTION of giving anything to this town because the town had never given to them! well, as you all have come to know .. i try to speak my opinion .. and hopefully, with kindness .. but i don't hold back when i believe something strongly .. unless i am convinced otherwise .. and UNKINDNESS never, ever, ever wins me over. This couple did move away ..and about a year after we moved here .. they moved back (their daughter lived here and they wanted to be near her family since they were getting older). they started another business which did not survive three months (ANOTHER BIG SURPRIZE!!!) ... NOT!!!! ...
Finally, even I decided they were not worth even trying to be friendly with. I don't choose to spend my time and life around negative people .. and they surely are! And sadly for them .. i believe they will live and die in this state of mind. Thinking they are ''better' than others. SHAME ON THEM!!!!
it does seem kinda' silly to go tromping through fields in high heels .. unless, i guess you might be coming from work or church and were passing by .. and wanted to stop by a farm for some fresh grown fruits and veggies.
when someone talks to me like i am uneducated .. i either 'go to extremes' and let them think that i am ... by 'over-acting' ..... and unless they are reeeeeel stupid ... they 'get the picture' ... and i LAUGH after they are gone at their own 'ignorance' ... OR ... i use bigger words than they do .. and surprize the britches offa' them!
and oh my .. i do wish i could find a wonderful thing that was going around on the internet not too long ago about 'big fancy cars' that cost a handfull of thousand dollars versus EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE farm equipment all mud-clad .. that cost many times over a 'fancy clean car' of any make or model. when i get back home .. i'll post it for everyone who has ever owned a farm with expensive equipment to get a giggle over.
i totally understand about your educating and giving a memorable adventure to the children visiting the farm .. having experiences that they city does not bring as does the thrill of visiting the city and what it offers.
i would love to hear more of your city life .. i have found friendly and unfriendly people there too. i agree that it is 'attitude' .. and not clothing or where a person is from or what they do or do not have.
i have always believed that this would be a wonderfully peaceful world if we had positive, happy attitudes .. and followed the golden rule.
oh and dear diane .. i remember in my heart how YOU were my 'saving grace' inviting this city girl to the country .. making me feel welcome. you will forever be dear to me. xoxo, frannie
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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RachelLeigh
True Blue Farmgirl
635 Posts
Rachel
Rainier
WA
USA
635 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2006 : 4:28:27 PM
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| I'm a city farmgirl and get the strangest looks because I walk around my apartment complex with no shoes on. People look at me like I'm nuts. It's just too funny! I was raised in the country and I take my shoes off every single chance I get! |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2006 : 11:07:29 AM
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When I do summer canning, I wear ripped shorts, sleeveless shirt, birkenstocks, doo rag, an apron, and gloves that practically run to my elbows. I have answered the door a few times like this but really don't care who shows up. If that had been me, I might have sent them away with a fresh jar of muscadine jelly and a business card or some farm by-broduct that you can't find at the local Wally World.
And, if one is at HOME in her own element, what to you expect?!
I appreciate a fancy night out on the town just the same. Remember, it's the city slickers who ohhh and ahhh at our produce and the farmer who makes it all possible!
Some of the snobs in this country need to travel outside the US and experience just how others live.
The most sobering thing I have seen to date was the THOUSANDS of 3-sided tin shacks lining the countryside in South Africa. We take too much for granted in this country
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2006 : 12:37:44 PM
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When my boys were little tykes they were smiley, blonde, pretty and always dressed in their best when we ventured to "town". Three little angels walking beside Mom. It never failed that some sweet person would stop me to say what a beautiful family I have. It was nice.
As the boys grew, the oldest was around 13 I think, they began to choose their own style of dress, hair etc. I noticed that no one stopped us with compliments anymore. Sometimes people would take a second look, sometimes someone would make a rude comment. "I" knew my boys were the same boys they had always been. I could have been insulted, but chose not to "pick up that offence" and carry it with me. Life has enough baggage.
When our oldest son became involved in music, we met alot of new people. Some of the nicest, most amazing, humble, men of God we have ever known, are pierced up and tattooed, and look like they have slept all night in a van (because they have). I remember my husband telling me how good it was for him to meet these people, who seemed so different from us. He admitted that he really needed to have his thinking stretched in that area. These guys have become some of the people we love most in our lives.
Now OUR son is the scruffy guy with a ring in his nose. He is getting his first tattoo this month. He's excited, I'm excited for him. :) Sometimes though, when I walk with him I see the lookes he gets. Once in a while it makes me sad. Mostly though, I know that those he meets will likely be touched by his kindness, compassion and willingness to serve them. He will make them laugh. His music will open the door for conversation, and they will come to know him, and thus love him.
This strikes a personal cord with me, as myself and my family have been on the receiving end of some nasty criticism over our apprearance. We have at various times, in various circles, been treated woefully because of the way we look (I personally think we look fairly "normal").
We are all so wonderfully different. One person has tattoos and one person wears an apron. Each one of us has the opportunity to touch the lives of those we meet. I believe God uses our unique talents and personalities to connect with those we are meant to connect with.
I still go barefoot most of the time. :) But there are days I gussie up & head into town for a concert or shopping. I'm still ME no matter how I look. If you approach everyone with kindness and a smile the reaction is truly amazing. People always say about me, "you will talk to anyone!", it's true...I rarely know a stranger. Think of all the things we might MISS (!!!) if we keep people at arms length, especially over something so silly as a hair-do or what kind of car they drive.
Anyway...just thinkin'
Blessings to All!
Rhonda
And Frannie, WONDERFUL Story-the experiment! Thanks for telling it!
I'm a one girl revolution. |
Edited by - abbasgurl on Sep 24 2006 12:41:41 PM |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2006 : 3:42:34 PM
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i dont know if wear permanent rose colored glasses or what .. but i swear .. everywhere i have ever lived ... washington, d.c., virginia, maryland, florida, colorado, kentucky ... i have not noticed any difference in how most people dress. i see women gussied up in the country .. and in the city .. and in the mountains of colorado ... i see women wearing jeans, and shorts, tattered and torn, neat and pressed, long skirts, short skirts, barefooted, birkies, tennies, boots and barefooted. i've seen women wear jeans with holes 'worn' in them from wearing and working in them .. and i've seen women (ME) pay a hundred dollars for a pair of jeans that CAME with holes in them off the rack.
oh lordy, much like rhonda ... i can honestly swear that some of the NICEST and KINDEST ... and most gentle people i have ever met wore 'different clothes and hairstyles ... the nicest i have ever met were "hippies" during the 60' and 70's. ... who DID look different from mainstream america. but then .. they all looked alike within their own group too.
i think it is natural for kids to experiment with dress and hair styles .. and as long as their hearts are good .. i think that is great. whenever i see a young person with blue or purle in their hair, i always compliment them and ask how they got it that way. gosh, even elinor peace bailey .. one of the most well-known and accomplished dollmakers in america has a wide purple streak in her short hair and she ALWAYS dresses in WILD colors .. and she is a BIG woman. when she came to teach our club one time in maryland .. we took her to the plane in her wild attire and a STOVE PIPE HAT. we watched as others watched her .. and we commented how they all SMILED (not laughed or snickered) at her. or .. they just went on their merry way as if they didn't see anything strange or different about her.
i know there are groups who have 'clothing DIFFERENCES' .. like GOTH ... and HIPPIE .. and the CHURCH LADY .. and gypsy .. and 'beach surfer' .. but i think mainstream america .. whether from the city or the country wear the same clothes when relaxing at home or on weekends when they do not HAVE to dress up.
there is a woman who lives in greensburg, kentucky who has the MOST FABULOUS wardrobe and PHENOMENAL SHOE collection i have ever, ever seen. She is always dressed like a fasion model ... (even though she is older and isn't traditional MODEL PRETTY) ... she gets her clothes and shoes from Nashville, Tennesse. Not 'country-western style' .. New York Fashion World style.
i think diane said it right earlier .. .. it is the attitude .. that brings good or bad vibes and feelings to others. it isn't the clothes or hairstyle .. or what we have or what we don't have.
CITY GIRL .. COUNTRY GIRL .. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. XO
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Sep 24 2006 : 3:47:58 PM
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| I think that people who put all of their efforts into how they look, how they fit in and how they compare to other people are strange, regardless of whether they are city or country. I have had encounters with both myself who commented (yes actually said it) about how my clothes didn't all match and how it's gross to wear sandals without painted toenails. Mind you, these same people were the most grouchy and pessimistic people I ever met! I like it that we can all say what we feel here and if we hurt someone's feelings we think about it and make adjustments, unlike some who just keep going on hurting others! No one here hurts anyone on purpose. That's something to smile about! :) |
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Across the Fence: Citygirls are So Strange |
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Citygirls are So Strange
