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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Really Need Some Advice...  |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 3:56:12 PM
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My little guy is 6 and 98% of the time he's a fun, bright, loving, energetic little boy...but once in a while, when he gets an idea in his head and things don't go his way, he FREAKS out in a thermonuclear tantrum. Today, he had one and I physically had to carry my guy out of the mall w/him screaming to the top of his lungs.
He's on spring break so we had taken him to play some skee ball, basketball etc. at the little arcade at our local mall and then he was extremely disrespectful to dh so we said ok time to go then. And everything went haywire.
This episode really scared me and I'm not sure what to do. Has anyone else had any experiences with this type of situation? Six seems a little old to be having these kinds of tantrums...help!! |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 5:04:35 PM
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Christine, Farm Girls Hugs coming your way!!! Sounds like we are having the same kind of day! Just know that you are not alone, we are all here for you! As for advise, not to sure, as you have read my post... :( The only thing i can say is, "lets look forward to tomorrow being a new day!" And lets pray it will go better for us both...
- Kristy
"Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!" |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 7:18:24 PM
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Thanks, Kristy! Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow!  |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 7:51:38 PM
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Okay... Just so you know, it's normal. I think what makes it worse is that they get so worked up, Christine, that they can't even figure out how to communicate what they're feeling anymore. But you know what works? I only had to do it once, and I never faced another tantrum again. Step away when he's having his meltdown. Turn on the shower - COOL water, not warm. Calmly, and gently pick your son up, even if he's kickin', screamin' and bitin', and gently place him under the shower, clothes and all. Don't hold him there, just let the water gently spray over him to cool him down. When I did that, my son was so shocked, he calmed right down. The cool water cooled him off, too. He was still huffing and puffing and a little weepy, but all he said was, "I can't believe you did that to me, Mommy!" I enveloped him in a big warm dry towel and hugged him. I asked if he felt better. He did. I cuddled with him on the floor and told him I loved him so much, and that it really scared me to see him get so hot and upset like that, that all I could think to do was put him under the cold shower to cool him down. I gently told him how glad it was that he felt better, and that I knew what to do if he got all hot and upset like that again. And he never ever ever threw a fit like that again. Ever.
Good luck,, Christine... I'll say a prayer for both of you. Just remember to keep your cool, too, okay? The more upset Mommy gets, the more upset the child gets, and it just gets worse from there. A friend told me once that sometimes Mommies need time outs, too. That advice has proved true for me plenty of times over the years - even now that mine is 15! LOL!
Hugs -
Nini
(\_/)
(='.'=)
(") (")*
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 12:33:46 AM
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Same thing happened with my 5 year old 2 weeks ago, at a LLL meeting. It was so embarrassing. She was screaming bloody murder as I carried her off to the car. I had never seen her throw that kind of fit before. She is high strung, and whines a lot, high energy etc. But, never had she done anything like 2 weeks ago. I left her in the car with her father the rest of the meeting and she fell asleep. I really really don't know what it was. It was during our spring break too, and it rained all that week and the kids had to be inside all week. The other LLL women said their kids were being crazy that week too. I don't know. It sure scared me cause I really didn't know what to do, besides take her home and tell her she couldn't go any where else for a very long time. Back when I was little, my parents would of taken me out and spanked me in the parking lot, and I would of went home for a very long time. lol Today you can't do that....and I really don't know what the heck to do, besides take away privileges and hope it doesn't ever happen again!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 06:44:33 AM
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| Thanks, everybody! I can't tell you how much better I feel just reading your posts!!!! We had a "calm down" period last night & dh and I talked with him, so hopefully if we just remain consistent (and calm!), he'll work his way out of this phase. Thanks everyone for the farm girl support! |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 08:45:24 AM
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Christine, Here is to a better day! Hugs, kristy
"Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!" |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 03:12:12 AM
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btw, I do want to add, it probably is normal.
When I was about 5 or so, my mom reminds me of a day I did the same thing, and every one considered me to be a good "kid". I mean I was supposedly well behaved as a child, most the family comments on this often-cousins, aunts, uncles, my parents-they have 18 kids, they say one of my sisters, and I were the two that behaved most, and rarely had to have discipline, we just listened....I'm not saying we are favored or anything, I'm just saying this is something that they say about us. Any way....one day she said that I wanted candy at the diner, before our meal. And I started having a fit about it. She took me to get a spanking at the car, and I screamed the whole way for some one to save me, please save me! So apparently even the well behaved ones, has their days. lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 06:51:52 AM
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| Thanks, Heather, your post did make me feel better! We are getting ready to move so maybe with all of the upheaval (and I do try to keep it as organized as possible), he was already primed for a meltdown... Looks like you turned out just fine! :) |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 12:57:09 PM
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Thanks Christine, I think I'm fine too! lol haha And yeah change is hard on little ones. Also sometimes I know for me at least, we are with our LOs so much we start seeing them as bigger then they are. If you ever step back from them a little bit, (like if they spend the weekend at grandmas or what not) and look at them again with fresh eyes, or even a picture of them instead of in real life, you notice they are so tiny (even at 5 and 6) sometimes we get to expecting more then what they can do, cause we forget they really are still pretty little. At least for me....I have to step back and remind myself and try to remember how I was at the same age.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 09:00:04 AM
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my 4 1/2 yo son has melt downs, mostly at home. He won't listen, he goes to bed until he decides that I meant what I said. Sometimes he's in there for 30 min. Sometimes 10-15 min. I don't speak to him or comfort him or anything while he's melting down. It's just fuel for the fire and gets me upset as well. He's not focusing on me so there's no point. When he comes out, I ask him if he knew why I put him to bed. If he doesn't then I restate the problem and make him apologize. Maybe before entering any kind of public area, state the rules, tell him to mind and if he doesn't, that we will be leaving immediately and go home. It might help.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 10:10:11 AM
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This is normal. My six year old son has these fits every once in a while. If it happens in public and both my husband and I are there, my dh takes my son out to the truck and just holds him (sometimes he has to pin him between dh's legs) . He holds him until our ds calms down. Ds is usually so exhausted that he falls asleep. We hold him when we're at home, too (when the fit happens at home.)
I hope this helps.
God bless,
Cynthia
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 10:18:34 AM
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Heather- I also have to take a step back. When my dd was born, my ds seemed so much older than he was (they are 22 mos apart.) Now that they are 4 1/2 yrs (dd) and 6 1/2 yrs (ds), I have to keep reminding myself that they are both still babies! I have a hard time because my dd is the size of about a six year old! (I'm 6'2" and dh is 6'4" so she is going to tall!) But if I close my eyes and just listen to my dd talk, she still doesn't say some letters and words properly. Then I realize they're still babies!
God bless,
Cynthia
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 10:40:26 AM
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| Thanks everyone for the GREAT advice!! I've used your suggestions and we've seen some improvement-I knew my fellow farm girls would know how to advise me! :) |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 12:06:56 AM
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So true they really are just still babies. I have to remind my husband too. And sometimes he says but she is old enough for xyz. And I will say but she's still little, and even if she is old enough for it, it would still make her feel loved if we do, xyz. IE one thing he doesn't like to do is dry and put dd1 in her pjs she is 5 and he thinks she is old enough to do this herself. (She dresses herself in the mornings) but really she wants us to still do it, and it's not going to be very much longer she will still want this, so I say just keep doing it a bit longer, cause it makes her feel loved for now. And she's getting to a age very soon she will no longer want us to.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 09:19:42 AM
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| I also needed the reminder that they are still little...my little guy teaches me things about life and patience every day! |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 09:39:30 AM
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Tantrums are never fun to deal with but you did the right thing by taking him out of the mall and going home. Pretty soon he'll realize that having a tantrum means removal from having fun and it'll stop. It might take a few times but he'll catch on. It just sounds like he's trying to push limits and see how much he can get away with. There is nothing wrong with lovingly redirecting him. Showing him that bad behaviour is not tolerated now will save you a lot of trouble down the line. He may be small but he is old enough to begin learning that disrespectful behaviour is not ok.
Farmgirl Sister #3759
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
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buggysmum
True Blue Farmgirl
110 Posts
Shelly
110 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 09:57:15 AM
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| My nephew does this too at 5.5 yrs old. I think they are still babies at that age. |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 12:04:14 PM
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Thanks AnneMarie! Your post made me feel a lot better as you can only imagine the looks I was getting as I carried him out screaming! Still, that's what my mom always did-screaming or not, she did not give in and neither do I...
I agree Shelly...sometimes I forget how small he is when he does so much at school, etc. |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Really Need Some Advice... |
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Really Need Some Advice...
