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Parenting & Farm Kids:  They are 8,6, and 4. and WINNING! :(  |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 3:49:31 PM
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Okay i need some sound advise on how to rain in these little ones... I am ready to pull out my hair! See my husband and i are trying to teach the kids some responsibility around the house. We have sat them down and told them "we are a family, so we work together as a family". Then we gave the kids the living room to clean. It is not very big at all either, but usually messed up due to their toys and clothing and the such. So we thought it to be fair for them to keep it picked up. I decided today that i would have my oldest sweep off the back patio this after noon when they got home from school. And so i told my middle daughter to start in the living room. Now this is not something new. The living room has been theirs to clean up for some time now. I ask them to do it, and they cry and scream (literally) about how unfair it is! BUT when i say daddy is on his way home they will start it a little. But when daddy pulls up in the drive way, they run and get to work. I am so frustrated about this!!! He only has to tell them once. And it gets done!
THEN, My son who is going on 4 is being such a little pain in the rear end. I am at a complete loss of what to do! He has got the uglyest mouth i have ever heard from my kids. He tells me all the time to "shut up, he does not love me, he hates me, that i am stupid..." and so on. For the life of me i don't know where he gets it from, as my hubby and i don't ever talk like that, nor do the girls. And he is home with me, not in a day care! What do i do??? I have talked to him about it hurting mommys feelings. I have told him he "WILL NOT" talk ugly to me. I have told him i am going to wash him mouth out with soap. You name it i have tryed it...  I am at such a loss. I never had this problem with the girls at all! Has anyone else had this type of problem?
Does anyone have any idea's of how to help the kids help me out? It's like i am on a up hill battle, and loosing this time. But i know that i am strong and am not going to give in, just keep taking one step at a time is all.
"Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!" |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 4:06:27 PM
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Oh boy, do I know what you mean! As you said, I didn't have these types of issues with my dd (she's 19 now-but still has been known to complain about doing chores-which I ignore) but my 6 yo! Oh man! In fact, I just posted the same kind of "what can I do??" post today too-this after a thermonuclear meltdown at the mall. I don't know if this is something unique to boys or not.
Your expectations don't seem extreme to me-in fact, I think it's great that you and your dh want to instill responsibility in your kids. I'm not sure what the answer is, but try not to take the things your little guy says personally. I don't there is a mom out there who hasn't had a day like you're having!
Hopefully, you'll get some more advice from some of the other farm girls-hang in there! |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 4:26:41 PM
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My cousin has 2 girls their grown now, but when little if they did not pick up the toys and mommy did it they disappeared. After two or three times they picked up their toys and anything else they didnt want gone. No problem after that!
Put him in his room.He will come out , just put him back in. Had a friend who had a boy and OmG. One day she had enough and she put him in his room. He come out she put him back in. This went on for a while then he got to crying and would come out she kept at it to show him who was boss and it worked he stood in his room and cryed. After about ten minutes he opened the door. She was standing in front of the door with he arms folded. He opened the door and saw her and slowly closed the door. So he knows when she puts him in his room mommy doesnt give up. Its not perfect , but she said its 85 percent better than it was. Hubby also does the same thing. Its helped.
Hope you find something that works Kristy!-Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
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sjmjgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
566 Posts
Stephanie
Mt. Vernon
Iowa
USA
566 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 4:27:35 PM
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Yep, Ive been there. Have you tried time outs? Maybe taking a toy away if he misbehaves? Sometimes I think that boys need a more direct approach when it comes to discipline. You guys seem to be on the right track. I wish more parents would work on instilling respect and responsibility like you are!
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama
April is Autism Awareness month. Autism affects 1 in 88 children (1 in 54 boys, including my son). Go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ to learn more and help Light It Up Blue on April 2nd!
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2012 : 7:43:49 PM
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My seven year old lost electronics for a month for her attitude and not getting her "school" work done in a timely and neat manner. (We school at home).
I took a doll from her for not doing her chores. Now she must earn it back.
From 4 to 8 they spend lots of time testing you. You and your hubby/partner must show them a unified front. Make a chore chart and pass out the chores. All three of them are old enough to do things. If not, they lose something.
My prayers are with you. This too shall pass.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
www.flossesandcrosses.blogspot.com
www.morganicinstitute.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 12:44:09 AM
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DD1 says things to me too, but doesn't really understand what she is even saying, I know she is just repeating things she has heard teenagers she's been around say. I am not trying to make excuses for her, I really really know she doesn't know what she is saying when she says these crazy things.
So I just keep reminding her, that is not a nice way to talk to mommy. If she doesn't stop and correct herself right away, she gets privledges taken away, etc. It's slowly getting better.
I've also though had the talks with her about where did she hear that, that's not how we speak to her, or how we speak to each other. I really don't get it either, except for she is around my teen sisters who are adopted (not that all adopted children have problems, it's just these particular children do, it's harder when you don't get them from birth) and they have a lot of problems, and my parents work hard with them, but still....and then my DD goes around and repeats what they say cause she thinks they are "cool".
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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annielaurel
True Blue Farmgirl
912 Posts
nancy
fernandina beach
florida
USA
912 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 05:54:42 AM
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My daughter uses a job wheel. It is a rotating wheel with spaces for the jobs: empty waste baskets; set table; dishes into dishwasher; animal keeper,give dogs water; captain. Everyone has a job for the week even the parents. At the end of the week the wheel is turned and the next week there is a new job. The captain was the person who oversaw that everyone did their job. No one yelled and at the end of the week each person said how they think they did at their job.
What worked, I think, is that the parents were on the wheel and that it turns each week so that the kids get a chance to change jobs. Any jobs can be put on the wheel. It is just a circle on the bottom with the jobs written on it and a smaller circle on the top with the person's names. A hole in the middle of the circles with a brad to hold the 2 circles together.
Nancy #2301 |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 08:18:40 AM
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Thanks Farm Girls for you input! nancy i like the idea of a job wheel. I just might have to try that. I have tryed chore charts, but that has not worked in the past for us... I think that today when the girls get home from school we will be working in there room. All 3 of them share a tiny little room (when we baught this house it was only a 1 bed room, but put up two walls in living room corner to make it a 2 bed house). We had a complet meld down on emotions yesterday. All 3 kids and mom included! The kiddos where being so disrespecful yesterday after school, that they all when to bed right after dinner. It was like 6:45 - 7:00 ish. The girls asked me this morning if they could go to a friends house after school, I told them "no". Because of there actions yesterday. I told them that they needed to stay home and try to be good. "BUT mom we will be good", "well i want you to bo good just becasue, not because you want something..." So we will be working on our attitudes over the next few days. Mommy needed a "time out"! Too. So all together we will be working on our comunticating skills and working together today... I hope all goes well!!!
"Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!" |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 7:21:58 PM
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Hi Kristy,
Hope your day was better today! Mine was quieter thank goodness! Anyway, just thought I'd check and make sure you didn't have a repeat of yesterday...sending you a smile! |
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Ca-Reds
True Blue Farmgirl
124 Posts
kristy
Clearlake
Ca
USA
124 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 7:33:03 PM
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Christine, Yes we had a better day. Did they totally listen? No, but by no means was it like yesterday.. Then we got to end the day with a nice drive out in the woods with my mom. All in all today went well for the most part.
Farm Girls Hugs, Kristy
"Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!" |
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SpyChicken
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Christine
Fond du Lac
WI
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 8:38:48 PM
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| Oh good to hear that!! |
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soapmommy60543
True Blue Farmgirl
2197 Posts
Ann
Oswego
IL
USA
2197 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 05:24:16 AM
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My DD only told me that garbage once. I stole all her thunder by saying "good, now do I what I told you." They are smart enough at that young age to know their words hurt. If you take away the weapon by smarting off back to them, they learn pretty quick that it won't work, and that they'll have to come up with something else. Plus, it really shows them that you won't be treated like a doormat.
Also, for the meltdown in the mall - what TIME were you at the mall? Either right before or after lunch and/or naptime? We discovered that the meltdowns usually happened with naturally occurring blood sugar drops in our kids, so we were sure to leave parties, etc. before they'd get too tired and I tried to work shopping around when a snack would come BEFORE the big drop would happen. Just a thought.
Maybe your husband needs to sit them down and say he won't stand for their lack of disrespect and disobedience. My hubby did that, and it helped. Just remember they are kids, and they will still try to test their limits every chance they get.
Anyway, good luck!
Wife of terrific hubby and mom to 2 teenagers, 2 bunnies, 2 geriatric goldfish, and the best dog in the world!
Check out my blog: http://www.suburbanprairiehomemaker.com
and follow me on Facebook (Suburban Prairie Homemaker), Twitter (@sphomemaker), and Pinterest (Suburban Prairie Homemaker)
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Parenting & Farm Kids: They are 8,6, and 4. and WINNING! :( |
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They are 8,6, and 4. and WINNING! :(
