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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  lost all faith  |
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beachymom
True Blue Farmgirl
467 Posts
Kathy
Manchester
Tennessee
USA
467 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 06:26:13 AM
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God has given all his children free agency - that is the choice to choose good or evil. Sometimes, it's not what we ourselves do that causes us pain. Sometimes, someone around is makes a bad choice and we get hurt because of it. It's not God allowing bad things to happen, it's others making bad choices that affect us in bad ways. Like the guy who chooses to break into your house and steal all your stuff. You are not being punished. The other guy caused the problem. He will get punished. The way you handle the problem shows your strength and beliefs. As they say, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Just keep holding on to His promise that if you endure to the end, your reward will be greater than those who cheat, steal, kill, hurt others and follow evil.
And even though it's tough to handle right now, we're always here to listen to you vent or scream if you have to.
Hope you all don't mind me jumping in here, but I needed prayers too and I figure if we're all praying for each other, what mighty prayers they'll be.
Hugs and squishies!!
Kathy
Farmgirl Sister #3983
Take care of the land and it will take care of you. |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 06:36:54 AM
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| first thank you for taking the time to try to help me. what an awesome world it would be if everyone were a farmgirl. we tried to just have a normal weekend, relax at home, spend time together and not think about this for a while. some friends invited us over for dinner on Saturday and that was nice. I am thinking and trying to come to grips with this, haven't been able to pray yet but I have to believe this will work out or I will lose my mind. Maybe I think too much and try to rationlize things that can't and to be honest after so much has happened it wears you down. I feel deep down my faith is still there and I want to keep it but it has taken a couple really hard blows and we haven't recovered. My dh is so calm in the face of trouble, I envy that. Please don't stop praying for us just yet |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 07:21:11 AM
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I'm still praying for you, too, Patricia! And for you, Kathy! (I love your "hugs and squishies" sign-off - so cute!) Hugs - Nini
(\_/)
(='.'=)
(") (")*
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Madelena
True Blue Farmgirl
1919 Posts
Mary
Central
TX
USA
1919 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 09:40:03 AM
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So many hearts go out to you Patricia and so many people are holding you in their hearts and prayers. Heavenly Father knows me .. my strengths, such as they are, and my multitude of weaknesses. Unfortunately Satan know them too and I have fallen many times for his lies. But, we've all been there too.
I do know that one day I was sitting in my room and wept...and voiced a simple one sentence prayer. I guess it was time. Time for reconciliation. Time for restoration. And like the proverbial prodical son.. God restored me. Restored love, Restored faith, Restored peace and happiness. It was a long time coming.. but I was "away" a long time too. Remember even the sparrow does not fall from the tree that He knows.
I often think of the grief that Heavenly Father must feel (a parent, our parent) as He watches the humans on earth do unkind things to each other. I can imagine Him weeping for us as He desires only good things for us. As we have wept over out children and our own losses.
Faith is something that is deliberate. One chooses to exercise faith as one chooses to exercise our bodies, even when we hate it or don't feel like it. It restores us. We choose faith. We should.
God loves you soo much that Romans chapter 8 says that ALL of Creation Groans waiting for the sons of daughters (joint heirs with Christ) to someday be revealed. And if we are joint heirs we will also inherit a portion of what Christ inherits. That will be so much more than this puny world could offer any of us. Just keep the faith, and if you misplace it.. search it out like the widow who lost her coin... and then share it with others.
For the Love of Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus, the Christ.
M |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 3:49:02 PM
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| his lawyer says they say he is responsible for over $3000, we want proof, what will we do if he loses his job ?? I can't hit bottom and lose everything again, I can't do it |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 6:45:15 PM
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Prayers for you Patricia. Dont jump the gun on what the lawyer is saying just yet. We are all praying for you and I know that will help through this rough situation.
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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EastTXFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
731 Posts
Victoria
Farmgirl #549
TX
USA
731 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2012 : 8:49:31 PM
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Patricia, tonight was the first time I have had a chance to get online in awhile. I got on to request prayer for my dad. His heart has failed and the doctors have given him very little hope. I read through your posts and you pulled at my heart. My family has been hit with many, many trials over the years and I cannot imagine facing life without faith. But don't get faith and religion confused. Faith is what gets you out of bed in the morning. Religion will let you down almost every time. As I read through your posts I tried to think of what I could say to you that could bring you comfort. I want to tell you a rather lengthy story that I hope will bring you some comfort. I am a nurse now but have been a nurse only 6 years. Before that I had a very high paying career in business. I traveled extensively. My son (and only child) had just moved back to Texas. I was on an assignment in Florida. The Florida assignment asked me to sign a 5 year contract. Most of my contracts were less than 6 months. The longest had been 2 years. It was just before Thanksgiving and I told them I was going home to Texas for the holidays and I would give them an answer when I returned. A few days before I was to return to Florida I had a little voice in my head telling me to stay in Texas. I tried to push it out of my head because the offer they had made in Florida was unbelievable. But the voice would not stop. I called my employer and asked for a 60 day leave of absence. They wanted to know why. When I explained that I really did not know why I just needed to stay in Texas for a little while they refused to grant the leave. I had to make a choice to stay or go. To have a job or not. I had been with this company for several years. But the feeling was so strong. I thought I was just being homesick. But the feelings just grew stronger. They allowed me to stay until after Christmas. When it came time to go the second time I couldn't leave. I thought it was that I was worried about my parents because they were getting older and needed someone there. My son had moved in with them to help but he was starting a new career and you know how young men are. Scared to death of losing everything I still made the choice to stay. I quit my job. I searched everyday for a job in that area but they were far and few between. The best I could do was an $8.00 hr front desk position at one of the hospitals. I was mortified. I went from making 6 figures to not being able to make my car note. I tried not to panic there had to be a reason for this. That was in January. Soon after I got the job I got this overwhelming desire to go back to school to be a nurse. At first I laughed at the thought but figured I had gone this far why not check it out. I had gotten my first degree at University of Texas so I went to check out their nursing program. Not only would they love for me to come into their program they would allow me to use all of my previous credits and just start into the nursing part. I later found out that at that time there was a 275 person waiting list to get into the program. And for some reason I had been pushed to the front of the list. The only class I had to take was a Microbiology course. As 'luck' would have it they just happened to have a mini semester starting in March that I could get into. It was a 4 week course which would finish me up in time to start nursing classes in May. Out of the 4 week course the instructor spent 2 weeks on a very rare cancer called Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Everyone complained about it and even the instructor kept saying I don't know why I am doing this but I just want to touch on one more thing about it. About that same time one of the nurse recruiters at the hospital heard me talking about going back to school and how I hoped I could swing the tuition. She told me to come by her office. Not only would the hospital put me in another position that would work around my schedule and pay more, they wanted to pay for my entire schooling (books, shoes the whole thing). I was amazed and quickly accepted. I started nursing school in May. Our first assignment was to be worked on all semester and turned in at the end for 75% of our grade. We had to do a complete history and physical on someone but it had to be someone with a medical problem. I couldn’t find anyone that wanted to spend all the time I needed to do the physical and ask pages and pages of questions. This is where my son comes back into the picture. I had tried all semester to find someone but no luck. Finally my son said "Fine I'll be your subject". I said but you have to have a medical problem and this kid had never been sick a day in his life. His response was his wisdom teeth were coming in and they hurt. At this point I was willing to take it. This was in August. August 13 to be exact. It was a Sunday afternoon and we were sitting on my parents’ front porch. I began the questions. He answered. All of a sudden it was like someone literally hit me in the head with a 2x4. I went dizzy; my stomach felt like it came through my throat, I was in shear panic. I tried to stay with it. Play it off. I started on the physical exam part. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see. It was like my head was screaming and I couldn't stop it. I told my son that I really believed we needed to go have his teeth check by a doctor. He said he’d just call the dentist. I insisted that was go to the doctor the next morning. I called our doctor and he had an opening for 8 am. I told the doctor that I believed that my son had cancer. His response was exactly what I expected "Now Victoria every new nurse diagnosis their entire family with some horrible rare disease." I said I understood but would he please run some tests. That was on a Monday. By Weds we were scheduling chemo treatments for my son. He had Hodgkin’s lymphoma and he had it bad. All the signs were there but it was not until I learned the symptoms in that class that I could recognize them. My entire 2 years of nursing school was centered on classes and chemo. My son is now doing great. He has been clear for 5 years. God works in ways that we can never imagine. When we think he does not answer our prayers he does, it's just sometimes he says no. Had one of the events changed my son would not be alive today. Had I gone to Florida, had the hospital not given me a job, had the instructor not spent so much time on such a rare cancer, had I not been assigned that project? But most importantly had anyone not listened. I believe there was a voice in each one that paved that road and had any one of us not listened to that voice life for my boy probably would have stopped. We all had the faith to say I am going to try this. Any of those things could have made for a very different outcome. I could not have made it through that without faith. When the doctors told me how small his survival chance was I knew that all of these things could not have happened the way they did just to let him die. Many times I thought of Mary. How could she have survived seeing the pain that her son went through? Things work out Patricia. They may not always work out the way we want them to but they work out. I cannot, not believe. I hope that you will be able to find that peace, that faith to believe that these things cannot happen the way they do just to see you fall. There has got to be a reason. We open our eyes each morning because we have faith that with each new day brings new chances, new heartaches, new beginnings. If we believe in God and it turns out that there is no God what harm have we done by believing. But if we do not believe and it turns out there is God things may turn out very different. Allow yourself to believe, to have faith, to listen, to be blessed in even the hardships. I hope I have not taken up too much of your time and if you don't mind you will be in my prayers.
Begin each morning with a song in your heart. |
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wooliespinner
True Blue Farmgirl
1311 Posts
Linda
Manchester
Ohio
1311 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 07:34:19 AM
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Thanks Victoria for sharing your story. Its truly an inspiration and gave me chills as I read it. I am so glad for you and your son you followed your heart and God's voice. God bless you and your family.
Patricia still praying for you.
Linda
Raspberry Run Farm
Nubian Dairy Goats |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 11:16:23 AM
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Blessing and continuing to pray for you and His peace that passes all understanding.
CMF |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2012 : 12:48:44 PM
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Victoria-
What an amazing story! I am so happy to hear that your son is doing well now. I agree with you 100%- there is a reason that all things happen the way they do, we may not know it or understand it or agree with it at the time, but it is true.
Continued prayers for you Patricia. As Victoria said if nothing else at least try and have "faith".
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 3:47:18 PM
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| thanks for sharing that story with me Victoria. I'm better today, we spent the day together yesterday just enjoying the spring sunshine and trying not to worry. I feel calmer outside, always said for me it was better than being in a church. I can so no same reason for this to happen but am trying to believe it will work out. |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2012 : 8:57:45 PM
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Victoria, what an amazing story. So glad he is better.
Patricia, there is an old yiddish prayer that says "Lord, I know you are going to help me but could you please help me until you help me?" I pray that prayer alot. I believe that it is easy to have faith when things go well, but faith is for when things are not going well. Faith is the belief in things unseen. The farmgirls have given you wonderful words and I have little to add except that often in my life God has sent me more than I could deal with on my own but He has also always sent me the people to help me deal with it. We are all here to help you deal..to love, support and pray for you with many hugs. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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beachymom
True Blue Farmgirl
467 Posts
Kathy
Manchester
Tennessee
USA
467 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 3:10:12 PM
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Patricia - Keep on praying for yourself and all the rest of us.
From personal experience, I have found that when I pray harder for others, I find that God has helped me without me even noticing it.
Remember Matthew 5:44-45....."But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."
He know what you are going through. He loves you. All you need to do is ask Him to help you make it one more day.
Do your best then leave the rest up to God.
Angels watch over you, and are probably very close to you all the time.
Hugs and Squishies!!
Kathy
Farmgirl Sister #3983
Take care of the land and it will take care of you. |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2012 : 11:43:20 AM
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| thanks for all of the prayers and advice, an update today..still nothing definite, his lawyer mentions a diversion program for first time offenders but he didn't do anything wrong so why admit to something he did not do. plus if he does his company will fire him and he will have that on his record forever. the lawyer thinks the money they are talking about is the time when a bigwig or company person came in and he let them park free of charge...so now we are wondering about health insurance, how is that going to be paid and how long this is going to drag out. I am going to look for another part time job and so is he. I still can't see why this should happen to us. why can't we be allowed to get ahead financially. I finally had us caught up on bills and a little money in the bank, planned a vacation week. Why ? |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2012 : 3:36:34 PM
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Patricia, i hope he doesnt take a deal or diversion prog. it would be so hard for him later on if it is on his record. i dont get that if he let the boss come and parked free of charge.Why are the people lower on the totem pole having a problem with it. Does he know the bigwig if he does he or his lawyer needs to call them. And the lawyer is wanting him to plead quilty i would tell the lawyer what he is being paid to do. Keeping you'all in prayers.Hugs Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
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alterationsbyemily
True Blue Farmgirl
686 Posts
Emily
Thomasville
PA
USA
686 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2012 : 6:36:30 PM
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Patricia, the lord is patient, and he will always love you. I had lost my faith for ten years, because of the people at my church, they were so very mean and aweful. I wondered around for a while and ended up back at church this year and my faith is stronger than ever.
For all the good it will do, I will add you to my list of prayers.
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Farmgirl #2951
No longer renting, offical farmgirl.
Check out my new blog at http://featheredhattrading.blogspot.com/
And my new Etsy listings http://www.etsy.com/shop/alterationsbyemily |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2012 : 7:47:26 PM
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Still praying for you Patricia.
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7586 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7586 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2012 : 8:30:50 PM
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Amen to that Nini..
quote:
Originally posted by Ninibini
Oh, Patricia! Reading your post, my heart just absolutely broke for you. I am so sorry that the things happening in your life have brought you to this place of darkness, but I want you to know that God really DOES love you. It's not He who is doing these things to you, it's the evil one who wants to separate you from the love of God who is at work. I've been there - I know. I especially get "attacked" when I witness or come too close to the Lord for evil's comfort, and the spiritual attack is usually against my family. It's horrible, because the first thing I want to do is shy away from my faith to keep us all safe. But the truth of the matter is that the only place we are truly safe is in His arms, entrusting every fiber of our being and every aspect of our lives to His care. No matter what we see happening around us, no matter what comes against us, nothing is greater than God. "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One Who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." I John 4:4. I've had to stand on that scripture more times in my life than you'll ever know, dear sister. Please know that I am here for you and will pray with all my heart against the things that are coming against you. Kristina's absolutely right - when we are too weary to pray ourselves, God sends others to lift us up in prayer and see us through. I'm sure ALL of us will be doing that for you. I think God would probably say to you right now, "Be still and know I AM God." Psalm 46:10. Just because we cannot see Him in action behind the scenes, doesn't mean He isn't working on our behalf. The Bible promises in Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." We will press into Him on your behalf when you feel you just don't have the strength. Hosea 6:3 reminds us, "Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." And in Hebrews 13:5, we are reminded, "...God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you," which is an echo of God's own voice spoken in Joshua 1:5,"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you."
You hang in there, girlfriend. I'll be praying! "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4
Hugs and lots of love to you -
Nini
(\_/)
(='.'=)
(") (")*
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or in the life of another" Helen Keller |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7586 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7586 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2012 : 8:33:28 PM
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Oh Patricia, I have been so many things in my life I thought I couldn't face a new day but I could not be happy without God in my life. He just makes me know it is the right thing to do... My prayers are there for you...
"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or in the life of another" Helen Keller |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2012 : 5:18:29 PM
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| I know. But itself so helpless and angry. Now we find they are cancelling our health insursnce. |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7586 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7586 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2012 : 7:03:42 PM
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I will keep praying for you and don't give up find someone else who believes and who will listen...Don't keep it to yourself...
"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or in the life of another" Helen Keller |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2012 : 9:08:07 PM
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Patricia--just for the record, it's OK to be angry with God. He can take it. So tell Him all your frustrations and feelings of powerlessness. Write Him a letter if you have to. God isn't mad at you. He hurts when you hurt. and He understands anger. I am praying for you.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: lost all faith |
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lost all faith
