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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Pre-School shopping...Overwhelming and Frustrating  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 09:15:52 AM
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We would like for Violet to start pre-school in the fall, and since we're new at this, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, and let me say also, a bit frustrated. There are SO many schools. Too many, it seems--and they range in prices from the exorbitant to the cheap (which makes you wonder about the actual education your child would receive). And, they all want you to register right now, which makes me feel like I have to make a hasty (uneducated) decision about picking a school quickly so she has a place to go when Autumn rolls around. Some are in churches, but only allow for 4 hours a day which makes it tough to pick them up when both parents work full time. I'm more frustrated though, about the "award winning" programs in our area that offer Kentucky rated "stars" (what the state tells you to look for) but we can't afford them and can't qualify for any funding because we make $500 over the income level listed which ISN'T a whole heck of a lot! When they see actually "what" comes home in our paychecks after medical insurance, 401K, taxes, etc...there is little to no money left, and I'm supposed to pay $155 a week for preschool? How do other families do it with multiple children, car payments, house payments, utilities, food bills if all the "bottom line" is the gross income? I'm all about giving a hand up--I give, give, give and donate to a ton of charities that help lower income families, but we always fall into that "working poor" group who can't qualify for anything, and I'm terrified my child will fall through the crack and will have to attend a school that isn't up to par because it's all we can afford when there is ample funding for others. Whew. Sorry, I've spent most of my morning on this and I've worked myself into an anxiety ridden rant!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 11:37:25 AM
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Jonni - never apologize for having "parental panic" about any situation or issue and needing to turn to other moms for an opinion or support. My oldest is 9, my youngest is 1 and I've done it PLENTY.
I remember when I was shopping around for preschools for my first and I felt like I was climbing a mountain blindfolded. Almost everyone else I knew was going to send their kids to preschools so expensive I felt like I'd been socked in the stomach when I saw the tuition breakdowns (one was actually $7000/year for 5 HALF days a week!!). Then there were "Co-Op" preschools, which were lovely and reasonably priced, but you had to agree to volunteer there sometimes upwards of 15+ hours a month, and at the time my 2nd daughter was a SUPER-FUSSY 6-month-old who barely slept day or night and I had no childcare, so I couldn't see how I could commit to that.
We eventually just randomly went to an open house at a VERY small parochial school and church who had a lovely half-days program, was Christian-based, but not specifically Catholic intensive (not that there is anything wrong with that, we just don't happen to be Catholic and didn't want to confuse our daughters), and had the sweetest teachers imaginable. The cost was also extremely reasonable.
Both of our oldest girls attended preschool there, but we have been home preschooling our 3rd daughter because we have decided to switch the whole family over to homeschooling in Fall 2012.
What you seem to be looking for is an extended day preschool program with reasonable rates - have you asked any co-workers who are parents what preschools in the area they had good experiences at? If you end up loving a school with a half-day program, is there an option to have your current childcare provider pick them up and be with them for the rest of the day until you are done with work?
I was also going to say, it was my experience that you could actually pay the enrollment fee at any school to secure a place, but you can withdraw before the start of the school year. The enrollment fee is usually non-refundable, but I knew moms who sometimes signed up at 4 or 5 schools and then made their final decision later.
I was also going to say, 2 of my SILs had good luck with putting their kids into chain daycare (like KinderCare) at Violet's age because it was full-day and they often had full-on preschool programs.
It may seem really stressful and daunting now, but things will work out. This may sound odd, but MANY times when I have been in need of an answer, I have really sat down and said out loud, "God, show me the way!" I can't tell you how many times a solution or direction appears shortly after!
Hang in there. Email me any time if you need to chat more in depth!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 1:29:34 PM
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I'm so relieved with your response, Suzanne--I've worked myself into a full fledged headache this afternoon! I've left message and email after message and email only to be told that because we live in the Erlanger/Elsmere Independent school district (within Kenton County) we couldn't attend Kenton County public schools or any of their award winning preschool programs, but to try the "headstart" program in Elsmere who said, "is your child disabled? Do you make under $25k a year? I don't know why you were referred here, this preschool is only for developmentally disabled children and lower income/at risk families".
The coop school sounds lovely, but like you, that's difficult to volunteer in when you have other obligations like a newborn or a full time job. As much as my husband is an amazing father, and has more days free than I (he works mostly nights), I don't see him doing it...
At this point, yes, I'm looking into the church related programs--some do have extended days for part time and full time (that one's just a "little" more indoctrinated than I would like) but I have no problem with religion combined with education.
As far as referrals go, many of our friends do the Montessori programs, but I just can't swing $155.00 a week. That's almost $700 a month--we wouldn't be able to eat, and I'm not joking. We don't live above our means, we have no car payments, but we do have a mortgage, and I pay $600 in medical insurance for my husband and daughter each month, so that's where a large sum of our income DOES go. Like I said, it can be very frustrating to see the "gross income requirements" on these forms--I just want to yell, but that's not what I have to bring home in my pocket!!!!
I am overwhelmed today, that's for sure. My head is pounding and I just want to make the best choice for her that I can. It is preschool, but when we roll around to school time, it's going to be the same headache. And that's a huge deal to me.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 1:38:19 PM
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Jonni-
I totally know what you are feeling. We had to make a fast switch for Nora a year a half ago due to a safety issue where she was at and we lucked out in finding a great place. They are terribly expense- her preschool costs as much as our rent. It’s hard to swallow but we are backed a bit into the corner. It is frustrating. I know they give multiple child discounts and they have a scholarship program. We actually had to increase her time there (I hate that) because of school and we briefly looked at a cheaper program. I talked to Nora’s teachers and they worked out a way for me to volunteer there to get projects they don’t have time for done but then they were able to cut her tuition down to $670 a month (it was going to be over $800 otherwise! Eek!).
Hang in there and look for a program that gets good reviews and where the kids will be leaving with a skill. Nora is beginning reading, knows all the planets and continents plus is doing basic addition and subtraction. So overall the place has been good and as Doug and I say- we are just hanging on until when she is in Kindergarten. *hugs* I _know_ you will find a good place. My heart goes out to you- it’s not a fun process.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2012 : 5:57:10 PM
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I really do feel for you, Jonni, education costs - even at the preschool level, are insane. And then even if you find schools in your price range, it can be so overwhelming to pick the right one for you as a family.
Have you asked your pediatrician? Or the pediatrician office staff? Sometimes they hear about good schools/preschools from other parents, or they might have some suggestions for you that you didn't know (scholarships, funding, preschools with tuition assistance, etc). Also, if you attend a church or belong to any parent groups, someone from there might have some good suggestions or recommendations.
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will all work out. De-stress, step back from it a little and regroup. The perfect place will be found.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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countrymommy85
True Blue Farmgirl
898 Posts
Krystle
MT
USA
898 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 09:02:02 AM
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I was facing the same problem as we didn't originally plan on homeschooling I'm now planning on homeschooling until at least 1st grade... Of course we will cross the 1st grade bridge when we come to it but for now we just can't afford preschool/kindergarten. We wouldn't be able to eat either! It's insane the prices they charge now a days! Was school that expensive when we were in school? Well anyways thats just my experience thus far. I'm going to keep looking around but as of now it looks like I will be making the plunge into homeschooling! Best of luck to you in your search! It sure isn't easy but know you are not alone!
Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee. ~Author Unknown
http://countryrenaissance.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SunflowersAndHoney |
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sjmjgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
566 Posts
Stephanie
Mt. Vernon
Iowa
USA
566 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 4:51:01 PM
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I whole heartedly agree with Suzanne, take step back and relax. You won't gain a thing by allowing yourself to be whipped into a frenzy over this. Yes, it's quite a process. However, it will all work out. Though you will need to register soon, you still have some time to think things through. You're gonna make the right decision for you. Good luck Jonni!
Farmgirl Sister # 3810
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Dalai Lama |
Edited by - sjmjgirl on Feb 07 2012 4:52:56 PM |
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ruthie218
True Blue Farmgirl
1425 Posts
Ruthie Ann
Indiana
USA
1425 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2012 : 5:20:48 PM
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Hi! Ladies,
I've taught preschool for 20 plus years. This what I would suggest to look for a preschool that is 1/2 day program. Here in Indiana all strictly preschool programs are offered in a church setting. As far as curriculum goes you it should have a balance of paper pencil and hands on activities. You need to ask what activies they offer for kindergarden prep if in a 4-5 classroom.. I would the preschool teacher if you could see a copy of the yearly curriculum and the kindergarden requirement. This way you really see how they are teaching kindergarden prep.
Here a preschool costs around 115.00 a month plus registration fee for the year. Which covers supplies,insurance.
Also if daycare says they offer preschool besides daycare. What they are doing is trying to get extra kids and earn more money as they don't offer a preschool program they offer whatever they have on their daily schedule says. This is why they charge a weekly rate not a monthly rate. I know that with a just a preschool program. Kids are really learning and being taught as it's shorter time and more has to be is taught in that time frame.
Hope this helps,
Ruthie Ann
http://simpleindianagirl.blogspot.com/ |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 07:10:36 AM
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I really appreciate your posts, girls--thank you, Ruth Ann, for your insight, it helps tremendously. At her evaluation on Saturday, I was told the very same thing about an equal part play/pen to paper school because at this age, they largely learn through play.
Alee, I thought about you with Nora and was going to email you directly at some point--you want to do the best you can for your child, but I can't help but feel like this whole thing is a little insane, honestly.
I didn't attend pre-school in 1976 because we didn't have it. I remember doing half day kindergarten in West Virginia, and when we moved back to Kentucky, another half day, but mom said there just "weren't" any preschools at that time.
We are going to visit a church affiliated program next Tuesday--the program was recommended, and it's very close to home and would be a really good fit schedule wise. The woman didn't make me feel like I was behind the 8 ball and that I had to make a decision, pronto. She just seemed really easy going and welcoming.
I mentioned that the state of Kentucky has this rating system (STARS, as they call it). The state advises you to look for a 3-4 star preschool program, which all of the "public" programs are, the montessori programs run at 3's, largely (and are $155 weekly) but the public preschools are only for lower income/developmentally disabled children as our all headstart programs (also rated 3-4 stars). So, places like the chains which are incredibly high in our area are only 1 or 2 stars. That's frustrating. Why should you have to pay out the ying-yang for a program that the state doesn't deem "quality" but yet, you can't enroll your child in the programs they DO deem quality due to cost or largely, ineligibilty due to financial or developmental success!?
If we need healthcare overhaul, then we need an educational overhaul in this country, TOO!!!!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 08:15:53 AM
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Jonni- You _have_ to be comfortable with the teachers. My best advise is to go with your gut. Find a few that are in your price range and then go with the one that feels best to you.
We talked to a couple preschools but when I met Nora's current teacher I knew they would match really well. They are slightly religious and really care about the kids. They are Montessori and teach manners and decorum as much as the do math and reading etc. During summer session they do all sorts of fun things- including setting off real (explosive) rockets that the kids assembled! Nora absolutely adored it and I think we are going to be setting off some this summer here.
When we got into the money crunch at the beginning of the year, and I considered taking Nora to a new preschool I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I told her teacher that she might not come back she was really upset. When I called again to talk to see if we could work something out it sounded like she had been crying. I hated to have upset her- but at the same time it was great to know that she cares that much for Nora.
Also my advise is to look for value added programs- like do they offer home cooked meals or do they bus the kids to outside activities like field trips or anything?
Nora's preschool works with a local gymnastics school so once a week they get to go to gymnastics for an hour. It's and extra $40 a month but WELL worth it!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:34:43 PM
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Does she have to go to preschool?
We sent DD because it was "free" with Headstart. Meaning we got in a big fat court case with the state when she was born and won. Received a letter a year later saying she could go for free. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent her. There were other kids there that had been accepted on a lottery basis, meaning some who had signed up hadn't shown up or dropped out. These weren't based on income or disability. Might be worth signing her up there anyway. If you're going to prepare her at home for Kinder then go to the public school and ask what they would like the kids to know on day 1 of Kinder. For DD they wanted her to know her colors, letters, numbers to 20 and writing her name.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 06:39:35 AM
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Both my kids went to preschool, at least for some time. With my youngest, I removed her from it when she was four (she had about a year and a half's worth under her belt)...I was at home and sick of paying 200 dollars a month for 'glorified daycare'. You should have heard the school director...according to her, my child would never 'catch up' in kindergarten, "Texas standards have gone WAY up for kindergarten", blah blah blah. GIRL, PLEASE. As I have said before, several of the children in her class still speak like 3 year olds, and as it turned out, my child was one of the very few who could even write and say her ABC's.
Had I known that, I would have just kept them both at home, kept my money, and schooled them myself until kindergarten.
I'd go with a 1/2 day program, and I'd talk to some parents who have sent their kids there to get a feel of the place. In our case, the director was more like a dictator...fortunately the teachers were all very sweet. Still, I do not regret keeping her with me for the year preceding 'real school'. We had such a great time together, and I'll never get that back.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 12:25:08 PM
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I don't think preschool started till around 1980 that is when I would of went. 1979/1980. I would of been in the first class around our area. I remember my parents sitting down with me and asking me if I wanted to go. I remember asking if any of my friends were going-by name. And none of them were going to go. So I remember saying no, I wanted to wait and go to k with my friends. And so that's what I did. My parents were divorced, but on things like that they would come together and talk about it. So I really remember them discussing it for a long time. It was brand new and they didn't know what to do. lol I didn't go, I went to school and was waaaaaaay ahead of the other kids in school. However, I'm the oldest, my next sibling is 8 years younger then me....most of my younger siblings went to preschool. lol It was almost mandatory by then. Every one did it! Now we have huge preschools around here. Any way...I'm not sending mine though, there's books that LLL has and such to help you teach your children this kind of stuff yourself.
I agree we do need education overhaul, at the same time, really most the stuff can be learned at home quite easily. I fully understand why handicap children should go. I have handicap nephews and I was all for them going in fact, I enrolled them and took them myself cause of their handicaps I didn't know how to teach them myself. They went from untestable first day to 80 percent on the same test at the end of the year!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2012 : 06:47:30 AM
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The current educational system is broken. Americans were more literate in the 1800's than they are now. Parents are being pushed, pushed, pushed to spend more, more, and more money to help their kids get ahead. 3 year olds are meant to be playing. When I went to church nursery school in 1974 or so, everything we learned, was through games or hands on activites and field trips. We used crayons that develped our fine motor skills, not magic markers or computer screens that promote ease. Starting kids at earlier and earlier ages, with more and more complex intellectual tasks, has not improved our literacy, our graduation rates, or our economy. Heck, most kids with working parents hung out baby sitters and grandparents not too long ago, and were more likely to graduate higgh school/ become employed. I think the statistics say that since the high school graduating class of 1973, educational excellence has been on a constant downward slope in this country. In my own opinion, the coddling, caution based parenting of today, coupled with parents' need to control every aspect of their childs' lives, is leading to a generation of inflexible, self centered kids with limited preparation for the adult world.
Don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses. Find a program that is safe, affordable, progressive, and well developed, with teachers you trust. Supplement the missing pieces with activites at home on the weekend.
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2012 : 07:14:56 AM
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Thanks, Mary--I had to take a few steps back and wonder what all the fuss is for? I mean, she's a very smart little girl, and she gets an enormous amount of attention from us, from her grandparents--we are all dedicated to helping her with numbers, letters, colors, etc...and yes, I agree, they should be playing. In fact, at her placement evaluation, the woman who did her testing said that there will be plenty of time in Kindergarten to put "pen to paper", that children her age largely learn through hands on playing and interaction.
I'm just going to take it easy--I plan on visiting two schools this month, and they are church related, and not nearly as expensive as the other choices. If it doesn't happen this year, then perhaps the next. As it stands, we have a great thing going--she is surrounded each day by her family who love her dearly. And though socialization is important, I don't think pre-school can replace that kindof family love and consistency.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2012 : 08:47:14 AM
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I agree. My grandpa and my daddy can do math in their heads that kids today couldn't dream of doing. And they went to one room schools in the boondocks. There's so much noise about spending money on education and yet the children aren't getting an education any more. Not laying blame on the teachers, they have to teach what they are given. I think the system is seriously flawed.
I'm a stay at home momma and I'm homeschooling. My daughter was reading at 3 1/2 with absolutely no pressure from me. She was just paying attention while I was teaching her older brother! They're both doing simple math at 4 and 6 years old. They're both doing cursive and manuscript. We do science experiements on things that interest them. And we only spend a couple of hours a day doing school instead of all day. Homeschooling isn't for everyone. I think you need to figure out what's right for your family, what works for you and then do it! Personally, I didn't want my children going to public school so for me it was private or homeschool. Couldn't afford private. And I've discovered that I love teaching my children.
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2012 : 2:16:43 PM
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Jonni, I'm so glad my rant was helpful. Sometimes, I do get a bit excited about things, but in this case, I'm not just throwing in my opinion, and I am acutallu using facts and figures. I just know you are already doing the very best for Violet. If she has helpful, caring grandparents on top of living with you and your husband as an intact family, you are soooo far ahead of the game. Keep up the good work!!!!
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
Edited by - MaryLD on Feb 20 2012 6:48:31 PM |
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Lanna
True Blue Farmgirl
330 Posts
Lanna
A little town in Idaho
330 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2012 : 02:50:45 AM
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Do you absolutely *have* to put her in preschool?
If she's already in daycare, she's around other kids/adults and likely learning enough just by osmosis. Even just you reading to her and doing little activities with her is plenty at this age (around 4yo, right?). Or for a less expensive option
We've been doing little toddler busy bags (google it, or look on pinterest) for my 3.5yo and 2yo to keep them busy when mommy needs to make dinner or needs a little quiet time. They think it's the coolest thing.
We homeschool since I had a major freakout in the summer of 2005 (when my oldest was shy of 2yo) and things happened and we made that decision. But, we also just go with our childrens' various paces. Yes, that means my 8yo isn't fully reading, but darnit if that child can't make you a speedboat with functioning pistons out of legos. Granted, part of that is slightly easier because of our current situation - hubby has a pretty darned good job, I'm a sahm, and we have trimmed our expenses fairly well over the years (we did just fine on unemployment while he was laid off for a bit - I have friends that the amount of unemployment we got [that paid all our bare bones bills] wouldn't have even covered their mortgages!).
Anyway. If you can't swing preschool, don't sweat it. My four kids haven't/aren't going to preschool. They're doing great. Contrary to popular belief, we socialize with folks just fine. ;) When my oldest was preschool age, we just didn't have the money in our budget, period. We flat out couldn't afford it, so it wasn't going to happen. So it just hurts my heart when I see friends and other parents basically go into debt for something like preschool. :( Especially when they just want a break from their kids - there's other ways of doing that (yes, I don't budge on my mom's night out when there's no other commitments - I need my girl time).
*****************
Lanna, homeschooling mama to four little monkeys that still try to jump on the bed |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2012 : 11:07:47 AM
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I interned in a preschool program in a small town and I have some experience with lesson plans and child development.
At 4, I DO think it's nessesary for kids to get some education-time. Familiarity paves the way for success in kindergarten for smoother math, reading and creative thinking. We were very lucky to have Catholic Charities running a Head Start preschool program and I see a HUGE difference in my 5 year old's performance in Kindergarten when she was spending an hour a day learning about letters, numbers and phonics vs. my older daughter that had little more than supervised "educational" play, educational television and alphabet flashcards.
Your mileage may vary from regional head start boards, but the ones I've had relatives in across 4 states have been very good.
Low income is the qualifier, and there's usually a waiting list. Might be worth checking out if your money situation tends to be month to month.
~*~ http://silverstarfamilyfarm.blogspot.com/ ~*~
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”
~Erma Bombeck |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Pre-School shopping...Overwhelming and Frustrating |
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Pre-School shopping...Overwhelming and Frustrating
