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Family Matters:  it happens every single year  |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 05:13:02 AM
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My sweet MIL calls last night and lets me know that our Christmas celebration is being moved from Christmas Day to Christmas Eve.
Moving this happens every year. And this is why it bothers me: She moved the date of Christmas for certain siblings because they wouldn't be able to come. It's inconvenient for them.
Her: "Well, sibling #2 won't be able to come because he has to work and sibling #1 can't come because they weren't planning on coming out Christmas Day... so does Christmas Eve afternoon work for you?"
"Yes, that works for the boys and I."
Her: "Won't your husband (sibling #4) be able to come?"
Me: No. He will be WORKING.
Her: Oh. Well hopefully he can stop by sometime during the party.
Ok, this happens EVERY year. I'm not kidding. One of the three oldest siblings throws a stink about how its inconvenient for them so we need to CHANGE the Christmas get together, ad it ALWAYS ends up being a time MY husband is working. But for some reason, that's ok if he's working and no one sees a problem with it. My mother in law seriously does not see it! I've brought it up to her before and she just says "Well, if (your husband) is working, he's nearby on duty so he can just drop in." To which I say "Um...if he's not busy...." And gee, wouldn't it be nice to have my husband there with us relaxing and enjoying the food, not having to worry about when his next call will be instead of showing up for five minutes in uniform with his squad still running?
Am I missing something??
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 05:29:56 AM
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no--you actually have a very good handle on your MIL and her priorities....its too bad for your hubby and your boys!
just make your own plans and keep the spirit alive in your boys...theyll see her ways, too!
hugs!!!!!!!!!!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 11:04:33 PM
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I go through the same thing with my mother and my Hubby's work schedule. Usually my Father gets left out of the celebrations as well. I don't understand why all people involved can't be counted equal!
I totally empathize with you!!!!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 11:42:07 PM
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This is going to sound odd, but I would bet they actually have more confidence in your husband's love for them, then they do the other children. The other children they need to banter to, to keep them close, they trust your husband doesn't need the "extra" and will still love them any way. Kind of like do we really treat the ones in our own home as nice as people out and about. Nope, because we're afraid to hurt those out and about, cause they will no longer like us, etc. At home we know those people will still love us any way. Not that that makes it right, or the way we should be. But, seems to be what happens. Used to happen to my parents with their parents too. At the end though when they got too old to care for themselves my parents were the only ones they trusted to take care of them. They couldn't count on the others and they knew it!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
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Simply Satisfied
True Blue Farmgirl
427 Posts
Emily
Montana
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 2:22:32 PM
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I like your thinking too Heather. It happens with us because I am the one on call for work and my family routinely picks events all year long on days I am on call. They schedule with everyone else first. This year our family Easter egg hunt got moved to the day before so everyone else who didn't work either day could do what they wanted. Being the only one whoever worked the day before Easter I missed my kids Easter egg hunting and dinner. I got to see pictures. It really hurt as they all were available on Easter when I too was off but they didn't want to do it that day. I like Heather's thoughts as my family and I are the ones that are always there for everyone else with their needs and we do recover from the inconvenience that they put our family through but it hurts every time. It is frustrating that your family can be so hard to deal with sometimes. We have started having Christmas morning just us at our home usually then meeting up with family late in the morning to share with them. This way we get to be together then share with others whenever they decide the time is. My husband and I have really started enjoying our quiet Christmas time without the free for all that the bigger group ends up with.
Emily
Farmgirl # 3591 |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Dec 03 2011 : 5:05:02 PM
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You know, there was, at one time, a period where Christmas celebrations and feasts lasted 12 days. Why not pick a day after Christmas where everyone could get together. That way there are no hurt feelings. Have your own tree and enjoy your family with out the hubbub of having to go here or there. Most businesses close by 5pm on New Years Eve. Why not combine the celebrations together? It might not work out for this year, but maybe next year, say Nov. 1 pick the day and tell the family members to make sure to put in for the day off so all can be together. Just a thought, not that it will amount to much.
Lorie
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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Family Matters: it happens every single year |
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it happens every single year
