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Family Matters:  For better or for worse...  |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 2:31:30 PM
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"For better or for worse...
For richer or for poorer...
In sickness and in health...
'Til death do us part."
Do these words mean anything anymore?
To me, they really, really do. They are covenantal. Although at first glance, they seem so simplistic, and to some, perhaps, even cliche, I have learned throughout my own marriage just how deeply meaningful they are, and how they become so beautifully rich and even more profound with time.
Marriage is so extremely fragile because people are fragile; hearts are fragile; life is fragile. How often we, as couples, can forget that. The stress, the worries, the busy-ness of our lives can take over and we can really forget what's important. We really can lose sight of one another; we turn inwards, turn outwards and turn away, when it's really our spouse we need to turn to. But we forget. It's not easy at all sometimes, but it is so worth giving it our all. I feel so bad for people who do not have partners that honor and cherish their partners or their marriage commitment; for those who do not have partners they can really, for lack of a better way to put it, "work with." Such a heartbreak to have everything fall apart. Everyone gets hurt. Nobody wins. Breaks my heart.
This is just a hard day for me, I guess. My husband ran into a very dear old friend today and learned that she and her husband of 23 years have divorced. This is the third couple in our life to go through this in the past two months, and the umpteenth we've known to divorce in our own 23 years of marriage. I cannot judge, truly; nor would I ever do that. My heart, though, is just broken for everyone involved. I can't help crying, and I really, really hate to cry.
My husband and I have "been through the fire" in our marriage ourselves. And, with the grace of God, we are still standing, hands firmly clasped and stronger than ever. I just went over to him a little while ago, put my arms around him and thanked him for holding my hand and walking through the fire with me. I repeated my vows:
"For better or for worse,
For richer or for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
Til death do us part...
I will always love you, I will always protect you, I will always take care of you, I will always be grateful for you, I will always appreciate you... And I thank God for you every single day." He got tears in his eyes and just held me tight.
Maybe if all married couples took time to say that to each other every day... Well... maybe things would just be better somehow.
That's all - just my thoughts for today. Just had to get it out.
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 3:15:51 PM
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Oh Nini, your posting really touched me. For I am among the many who has experienced divorce. It is awful, it's a death that you can't come to grips with. It effects everyone involved. Our children were grown and had their own families, but it hurt them all. And the loss of sharing special, sad, celebrations together as a solid family, there are no words for it. I thank the Lord that you and your DH are able to reach out for each other and share you love and needs. And I know that the Lord is wrapped up tightly in the arms of you both. Hugs,Brenda
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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Melina
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Melina
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 3:19:48 PM
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My husband of 45 years fell out of a manure-loaded truck last weekend and separated his shoulder. He's needed help dressing, putting on his sling, brushing his hair, etc. The other day, as I was adjusting his sling, he commented that I was sure taking good care of him. I leaned forward, kissed him, and said "In sickness and in health, honey." I got a big, one-armed hug.
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep.
Rumi |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 3:36:51 PM
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Oh, Brenda! I know what you mean... I'm a child of divorce, so I guess that adds into why this hits me so hard. I'm so sorry you had to go through that - God love and bless you! You are so dear to my heart - please know that!
Melina - that's what I'm talking about, sister! That's so sweet! That's the good stuff - the GOOD stuff! I wish that for everyone! I'll say prayers for your hubby, too! Poor thing!!
Maybe we could all share about the different ways we try to keep it together, as well as ways we help each friends and family when they go through
this... What do you all think?
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Oct 30 2011 3:37:35 PM |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 5:49:36 PM
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Meant it when I said it, trying to keep it, now if the outlaws would stay out of it.........
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 7:04:45 PM
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I've been on both sides of the fence. Got divorced in my younger days. We were young, stupid, and mostly selfish. Didn't have a clue what real commitment meant. Nini, you touched on the one very best secret to keeping a marriage together...God. Having God in my marriage now has made it feel so strong and unified. I truly feel that we are as one.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 7:43:51 PM
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Oh, Kimberly - I completely understand. We are very lucky in that our parents never interfered at all. As a matter of fact, when we were having difficulty, my mother would listen, but would never add her opinion or give any guidance. She would say it just wasn't her place, that we needed to figure it all out on our own, and that she loved us both. At the time, she absolutely infuriated me - I felt I really needed my Mom's sage advice! But in retrospect, I see great wisdom in how she handled things. I'm very, VERY grateful to our parents for loving us just as we are and for never meddling. I pray when it's my turn, I'll be able to bite my tongue, pray and just love, too. That must be a horrible, horrible thing to contend with! I'll say some prayers for you! Hang in there! :)
You are SO right, Julie! God "fixed" us - He made a way when there seemed to be NO way. We couldn't have done it without Him as the third strand in our chord! We are very, very blessed indeed! :)
Hugs to all -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 8:33:23 PM
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I was still an insecure and mostly scared kid when I married for the first time. My husband, whom I had placed my faith and trust in, though I had never felt love for (I don't think I knew what love was at that point) quickly showed himself as a controlling, abusive and cruel person. I will not go into details, but I found out at a point that he was a pedophile and ended up having to put him in prison to escape him. I of course won a divorce from him. I was heart-hurt and wary of people when I met my sweetie, Drew, through the years we have walked through hell and back. After some rough times, we have become much closer for the tempering by fire. I just got home from a beautiful wedding,and we had a moment of holding each other and whispering "For better or for worse, For richer or for poorer, In sickness and in health, 'Til death do us part...
Relationships and marriage are a constantly evolving work of art, two people have to work it to make it work! I have always stood by the phrase, "God helps those that help themselves" Of course there is a lot more to God and faith then all that, but in a lot of ways its true. Change happens, life goes on, people change, whether you will it or not, So I've learned that a marriage of two hard headed people takes a lot of work, but it is so, so worth it.
If you feel that your marriage has slipped into mutual lethargy and ho-hum-ness, repeat your vows, appreciate who you've become, celebrate the journey, fall back in love and remember your dreams, the dreams that you shared in the beginning. Share your current dreams, look for ways to bind your dreams and work towards them. You are never too old or too trapped in your everyday ruts to follow your dreams.
It makes me so sad to see so many unhappy people who have become disillusioned with each other, and have let unfulfilled dreams and expectations turn to poison against each other.
I may be a bit old fashioned, but I think that people need to get back to actually courting one another, and being honest about who they are and their pasts, up front about their dreams and expectations and stop mistaking attraction and hormones for love and the important decision to marry and devote their lives towards each other.
Ok, I've got to go and snuggle my sweetums now 
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 9:20:42 PM
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So beautifully written and eloquently said, Annika! You're so awesome! Like you said - I just love how you put it - we, too, were "tempered in the fire." I'm so, so thankful.
Snuggle on, my friend! Snuggle on! ;)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 08:25:46 AM
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My first marriage was a dud mostly because my ex became an alcoholic. But my second marriage, oh what I would have given to keep that man alive. God only knows but we were together in all things until death.
CMF |
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Prairie Gypsy
True Blue Farmgirl
823 Posts
Tammy
Wolford
North Dakota
USA
823 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 12:29:35 PM
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I think this is so appropriate today with Kim Kardasian (sp?) filing for divorce after only 72 days of being married. No trying or anything --- just excuses, mostly it's the publicity that caused it. Obviously her mother didn't do a very good job bringing her up.
Farmgirl Sister # 2363
http://twilightburrough.blogspot.com/
Warren, MI
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 9:00:59 PM
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Oh, Cherime! What a blessing to have had such a loving husband to share your life with! I'm sure it is so hard to be separated from him... I can't even imagine. May God love and bless you and fill your heart and life with joy.
You know, Tammy, I do hear you. I don't "keep up" with the Kardasians at all, so I was surprised to know she had even gotten married! LOL! (I don't live under a rock or anything - I just don't pay attention to stuff like that, usually!) I really can't judge when anyone divorces, though, because nobody but the husband and wife truly know what goes on between them behind close doors. I think it's very sad this is happening to them. I do have to wonder, though, how many fly-by-night "Hollywood" marriages are just staged for publicity, for fame (or for infamy) and for money. That is something that would be very sad indeed - on MANY levels. Awful.
Well... Happy November, girls! (It's a little past midnight here in PA!) :)
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Oct 31 2011 9:03:31 PM |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 09:43:18 AM
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They are surely not good role models.
CMF |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 09:44:42 AM
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OOPS. Yes we had such good times and he was so good to go home to and I am expecting the same in the to come.
CMF |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 3:36:25 PM
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Oh Nini, what beautiful words..we don't say them enough.
My first marriage was HORRIBLE. I truly tried every thing I could but 1 person can't save a marriage. It broke my heart and I swore I'd never get married again. AND I was single 14 yrs raising my daughter and living a good life full or friends. Then Rod showed up in my life and everything changed. We'd known each other 20 years before and were good friends. He found me. We were married 6 months later.
Here's the thing..we are FRIENDS..always. On the times that I don't "Love" him very much, I still treat him like I would one of my best friends because he is, and that friendship "holds" until I love him again. We've been happily married 17 years now.
We were married on 9/24..so every month on the 24 we'd pick up something from the salad bar at the deli and we'd eat off tables in bed. No phone, kids, tv, or other plans. Just us and we'd talk about the last month and what we wanted to do in the next month and we'd laugh and make love and laugh somemore. When we moved away from that first house we stopped doing this for some reason and we just started again a few months ago and it still works for us and I love that time together so much. My husband, my lover, my friend. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 6:42:41 PM
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When my husband and I were going through our difficult time last year I heard "Just leave him" more times than I can even remember. It is just the attitude of a lot of people now. When I think of why our parents and grandparents stayed together I don't think it is because they were that much more compatible, but it has to do with a matter of work ethic. Marriage is work. Hard work. Many from my generation don't really know what that is. When we're faced with adversity we are so willing to throw our arms up and say forget it. I wasn't willing to do that.
I want you all to know, and especially you Nini, how much your kind words and support made those months more bearable. There were days I just wanted to quit, but knowing I had just any kind of support made all the difference in the world.
Liz
Farmgirl #1947
www.militaryfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MilitaryFarmGirl |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 8:58:53 PM
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This is a very inspiring thread. I think every marriage goes through its trials. It is easy to see others from the outside looking like everything is fine and then look at your own marriage and wonder why sometimes it can be so hard. It is good to remember that everyone struggles and through the stuggles you can find new depth and undestanding in a marriage. It's also really good to remember that we have to make and effort to stay committed each and every day. Nini- I am so glad you started this thread *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 07:45:16 AM
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33 years ago Oct. 28th, my husband and I said those words. And the first 3 lines have been worked on several times since. There were a few times I left him. Mostly from anger and stupidity. The first time my kids were only 5 and 7. And I was homeschooling them. And my husband took off in the car. So all I had was our big ole 1/4 ton pickup truck! I loaded that baby up and took off to S. Ga. to my mom's. Well, she would not let us stay there. My sister lived near them so she let us stay there a week til we went back and worked it all out. It's really been rough but we kept at it and worked things out along the way. We always said we could never afford to get divorced. I really don't see how people do it.
Before we could even get married, the preacher we did find that would marry us, made us take pre marital classes to see if we were compatible. We had tried several preachers but since hubby had been married before, they would not marry us. Anyway, we took the classes. And I still remember alot of what we talked about way back then. I reccomend this to anyone before they marry.
I have had to nurse my husband many times in these years. The last time was nearly 3 years ago. He almost died. And he was in Memphis, Tn. He's a truck driver. That's one reason I say we are still married! He's been driving about 1/2 our married life so far. It makes being together that much more easier. I have no idea how it will be when he retires though. I will need lots of prayer. And I'll probably go back to work!
But I think the #1 thing that has kept us together is that we are both Christians and we have God in our lives. We are not perfect and by all means need alot more work at it. But it has seen us through all those "for better or worse, richer or poorer days". And believe me, there were ALOT of those. But we never wanted for anything and never went on public assistance at all. Unemployment a few times, but never food stamps or welfare. My husband would never have allowed that. We always had what we needed. Always.
My parents divorced when I was 8. I hated it. And now my oldest daughter has been marrid twice. And is now back with her youngest's dad. What a mess. And my youngest just had her 1st anniversary. They have known each other 13 years. SO had already been through all the ups and downs. I believe they will make it.
Thanks, Nini, for starting this. I look forward to reading more good news stories.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 08:27:55 AM
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Friends, that is what my DH and I were, the best of friends. We knew everything about each other that there was to know, bad, good and in between. So we cut each other slack in the places that needed it and brought each other up short when necessary and I think that is why I am not looking for anther man, because I just do not think that there is another one out there like him. He was honest about his faults and readily owned up which allowed me to do the same. Lord, how I miss that man.
CMF |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 08:36:56 AM
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Thank you for this wonderful post. My hubby and I have been married almost 15 years. It has had wonderful times and very rocky spots. I have reminded myself many times what my vows are.
God Bless and have a wonderful day!
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
www.morganicinstitute.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2011 : 09:22:53 AM
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My husband and I celebrated 11 years together on the 28th.
those words were not spoken lightly. Halleluia that we are both Christians.
I too was a statistic of divorce, basically talked out of a first marriage and swindled into eloping, lied to,cheated my father out of one of the greatest joys a father could have had, and no matter the passage of time, it's something i';ll never forget- nor take lightly. So you betcha this second one was cause for celebration and done the right way!
The stuff that goes on in Hollywood is deplorable and disgusting. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 05:53:51 AM
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Aw, Liz... Your post made me cry! :)
Girls thank you so much for being so candid about what you've been through! Alee, you are so right - when we go through the difficulties, it feels like we're the only person in the world who is going through it, and that nobody understands. It is such a blessing to know that others understand. It is such a blessing to know that there is always hope and that even when we have experienced painful failures in past or current marriages, that goodness and love can be renewed and abide! What gladness of heart! What restoration of faith! What hope! Awesome!
As I had shared with you, Liz, I had been told the same, "Just leave him!" many times myself. No offer of hope or guidance or consolation - just get over it, move on and you'll be happy. Talk about disheartening. I had even been told by a "professional" to "give up because it would never change." But what struck me most was that this person - a "professional" - didn't even offer a pinch of hope in our situation or any sage advice to help me. For her, it was a "given" that it was over. I wondered how many times she repeated that mantra over and over to heartbroken souls - and how many people left marriages without ever trying simply because she was a "professional," so they believed they should trust her judgment. So sad. I just couldn't accept her words simply on the merit that she had a degree and a job. I was actually pretty angry at her for the condescending manner in which she spoke, and that she just didn't even try. If the "professional" wasn't trying, now what? Something inside told me all was not lost. I knew my husband, I loved him, and I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I couldn't just "give up," without trying - REALLY trying. For me, instead, it was an opportunity to give God the opportunity to come in and exercise His power - and, bless His Holy Name, He sure did! I know that not everyone believes, so please understand, I do not mean to push that on you... It's just the truth of what happened to me - what "worked," if you will, so that is why I am sharing it with you.
MANY years ago, I had heard a woman speak about healing in marriage. She said anyone who tells you to just leave your husband is no friend at all. I am sure, however, there are circumstances where divorce is necessary. When I was very young, I almost married someone who became horribly physically abusive. I am sure the abuse was not a blessing, but for me, experiencing it BEFORE I married him was. In my heart I had made that commitment of marriage to him, but I was not yet bound by God and the law. Yes - I screwed up BIG time, because I was young, unprepared, and starry-eyed over what I thought was love. And, at the time, I believed that love not only bound us, but would conquer all. I had no idea what I was in for - and I suffered. Thankfully, I had a praying Grandmother (God bless and rest her soul), and somehow found the inner strength to walk away before I did marry him. But trust me, it took a long, excruciating time. I believed I could change him. But what was inside him was not good - it was selfish, self-centered, cruel and hateful. (I still pray for him from time to time - nobody should go through life like that, nor should anyone be subject to living with someone like that. What a miserable existence.) I was brought to the lowest point a person could be before something clicked and I found self-worth. Had I stayed, I am not even sure I would still be alive today. I was very, very blessed, indeed.
When I met my husband, I was deeply "in like" with him right off the bat (He, however, said he knew from the moment he met me he was going to marry me - and told everyone he knew so!). I really put him through the fire, though, before my heart would release itself to love him. I wanted to know that I know that I know that I could trust him and that he'd never physically harm me. "Love" was just a word; gifts were meaningless; words were unimpressive. I wanted love in action. I didn't want things - I wanted his heart, I wanted trust, I wanted faithfulness, and I wanted it for keeps. Simply put: I wanted the good stuff. He was very patient, very understanding. I remember how terribly hurt he would be when he would go to hug me and I would flinch and turn away in fear. It took a very long time to get past that, but with unconditional love and limitless patience, generous room to grow and time to develop trust, it did go away. And to be truthful, I can't say we "courted," exactly, but I can say that we did make a personal commitment to each other straight from the beginning, as they do in courtship. Our commitment not only nurtured growth, but it protected us from the fear of being abandoned when we fell short. I know I'm not saying that right, but that truly is the gist of it. I think that's why when we hit that darkness, I still held on. He would just say to me, "We'll get through this," which kind of infuriated me, because, at the time, it felt anything BUT like we'd get through it. It felt to me more like a cop out when he said that because he wasn't "doing" anything to fix it. Thing was, though, nothing could be done. Like a nasty wound, we just needed time to heal. The "We'll get through this," really was his way of bandaging our wounded marriage to hold it together until we DID heal. He's a pretty wise and patient guy, that husband of mine. I may not always agree with his methods, but more often than not, he has proven himself to be right. (Just please don't tell him I said that, or I'll never hear the end of it! LOL!)
The regret I do have is that when that first man was in my life, he stole my innocence, my trust, and, at the time, I had thought I had given him the best in me. However, through the years, what truly is best in me has been cultivated in love and in the tempering fire Annika talked about. My husband has been a blessing, and the one thing I always knew despite the darkness was that I could really and truly count on him to do the right thing. In his heart, he is very, very good. Sometimes, life just takes its toll and walls go up around our hearts. We needed to tear down those walls we had built and get to the tenderness and true love that had existed from the beginning. With the help of God, we got there. I am so grateful, you'll never know.
For me, as a Christian, though, I do believe that God knows how impossible and devastatingly painful and damaging it can be to contend with a spouse who does not love, who does not care, who is utterly selfish and who harms; one whose walls are a fortress that simply cannot be broken. That is why, I believe, He allows divorce under some circumstances, as we see in the Bible (although it is not truly what His heart wants for us - He wants restoration and love to abound! But, like you said, Joey, one person cannot heal a marriage.) But I also would advise anyone heading down that road to first seek Him, because He really is real, and He really does love you and your husband. I always say: God doesn't make junk and nobody is throw away. He is a Master Craftsman and knows how to fix broken pots! I believe in the miraculous healing power of God because I saw Him at work in my own life and in our own marriage. Prior to encountering that crossroad of darkness, I had long before forged a relationship with Him, and I just couldn't discount turning to Him for help before making any life-changing decisions. I felt I had to give Him a chance, because up until that point, I had been trying to fix everything myself, and I was failing miserably. I decided to just "let go and let God," as cliche as that sounds. I am so thankful I didn't listen to the nay-sayers. I am so thankful that I poured my heart out to God and, like a little child, said, in effect, "Daddy, fix it!" May I always bless His merciful heart; through His loving grace He fixed it!
The one thing that I always stress is that there is nothing that cannot be forgiven. I think in this day and age that is a really hard thing for people to wrap their heads around. The Lord really has given my husband and I both the grace not only to forgive, but also to "forget." Our shortcomings, failings and offenses are never anything that we harbor or throw up in anger anymore - another grace from the Lord, to be sure. I promised God if He fixed our marriage, I would place everything in that "sea of forgetfulness" so that He could really work in our marriage to make our hearts tender and renew our marriage. The hardest thing is when I see someone going through similar pain, because I do feel that I should share a glimpse of what we went through in order to help another through. But it's never something spoken in a manner to dishonor my husband or my marriage, and I have to be careful not to open old wounds that could fester and destroy... If I were to do that, it would be like setting fire to our three-strand chord, you know? Poof!
Wow. I can't believe I'm sharing this with you. But if it will help someone out there, I'm willing to go out on a limb - so here's my heart to yours, sisters. God love and bless you. Please know I'm here for you, always.
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Nov 03 2011 06:32:28 AM |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 09:10:51 AM
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Thanks for sharing. That was beautiful.
I too was engaged at 20 and ended the relationship after being physically abused. I can look back and Thank God for unanswered prayers. This man is actually in prison now.
God Bless.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
www.morganicinstitute.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 3:03:18 PM
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My DH and I have been married for 32 years. We started dating in high school at the age of 15 and 16 years old. We got married as soon as we graduated. We actually sat up a mobile home on his parents property while we were still Senoirs. We graduated in June and got married in August. It has been hevenly blissful every since then. We work hard together. Both of our boys were born with medical problems and has been in and out of the hospital alot. But remember the old saying things that happen in your life that does not kill us only makes us stronger. And God will never give you more than you can handle. I do not believe in divorce. Only if you are in a physical or bad mental abusive relationship should you walk out on a marriage. I came from a long line of love. None of my ancesters ever got a divorce. But now my MIL has been married 3 times. All for money!! And both of her daughters have followed in her footsteps. I remember My FIL before he passed away when he was 80 said that it runs in the family. If children are brought up watching their parents give up on relationships then that is what they are taught. My FIL and I were very close. I miss him. I see so much of my husband Fred in him just a kind and gentle person and loves making sure I am taking well care of. Me and my husband both have an old soul. I was raised up on my Grandmothers and grandfathers farm. And my husbands father was 55 years old when he was born. So we both grew up around the old timers. Our marriage vows are very sacred to us. I am the virtuous wife and he is head of the house hold. And I have loved every minute of it! Yes when he walks through that door tonight after a long day of working there will be a pitcher of sweet tea waiting on him and a nice big spread of food on the table for him and a kiss from his wife who loves him dearly! Thats all they want! Spoil them and they will spoil you back. Remember the way to a mans heart is trough his stomach!!LOL!!! Thats what the old timers use to tell me!!!!
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 7:10:19 PM
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"Our commitment not only nurtured growth, but it protected us from the fear of being abandoned when we fell short."
We are still dealing with this issue the most. The nutured growth is great. DH had a lot of baggage so we still have to deal with his fear of abandonment issue. He is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. We have God in our marriage and that helps. After 11 years together, almost 7 married, he is starting to trust I won't be leaving.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Heartbroken farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Annette
rio vista
Ca
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2011 : 6:16:27 PM
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Oh my precious friend Nini! You know my story. Your post broke my heart, made me sob, and refilled me! You reminded me fresh starts, renewed vows, and healing hearts are what kept my DH and I together. When I got my hubbub up for work, I couldn't help but repeat what you posted above. I hurt for any and every person who has been, is going through, or possibly faces divorce.
Recently, my DH came to me, and asked if we could clean up our language. I was surprised and confused, we do not swear...ever. he cleared it up for me by saying someone he works with, who just had a baby, was discovered in an affair, and his wife ended it. (I know its a familiar story, but a more painful outcome) he said that the word Divorce was so vial, what it means and does to a family, it should be a dirty word, never to be spoken. I get what he ment. I agreed as long as affair could also ne a dirty unspeakable(doible) word.
So many broken families. So many broken hearts, and children visiting one parent or another. My in-laws were literally the only parents of their generation I knew who were still together:( their bond, commitment, and family unbroken until the day we lost my FIL.
Hug your DH again. Praise God your marriage is so good, even through better and worse. Good for you two. And thank you for reminding me to wrap my arms around my DH's neck.
The tears I shed then, watered the flowers I harvest now.
www.broken908.blogspot.com
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/broken908
"The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values."-Dean William Ralph Inge |
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Family Matters: For better or for worse... |
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For better or for worse...
