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Family Matters:  Being a first time mom  |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 09:29:17 AM
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Now that the pregnancy part is over, I thought I'd start another thread. Many of you have several children, but do you remember your first? What it was like coming home, the sleep deprivation, your thoughts and choices being changed by circumstances?
Since we had so much time in the hospital, I was able to pick up lots of hints. Since mom doesn't drive well at night, I didn't get the every three hours feeding time with the baby and the nurses managed in the evening. Once we moved to Peds I was there 24/7 and had a crash course in what was to come. As much as I did not want to go to the NICU for that long, I think it really helped me adapt to what his needs would be. Coming home was a little easier though we are still learning.
Lesson 1) the nipples they use at the hospital are really soft and he got lazy about sucking, hence one reason I am still pumping.
Lesson 2) pacifiers can be your friend. I had not intended to use one, but... I do try to limit the use.
Lesson 3) finding time to pump can be difficult and I am becoming inventive. Thank goodness for battery operated pumps.
Lesson 4) chin quiver and certain cries turn mommy into mush.
Lesson 5) Thank goodness for all the family and friends that are making meals for us and coming into help.
Lesson 6) snuggle time is great.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 11:38:29 AM
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Lesson 7.) You don't know what hungry is until waiting for your first meal after a 20 hour labor.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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hawkin_farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
63 Posts
Micah
Austin
Texas
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 11:58:19 AM
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I knew that having a baby would be hard. I was pretty prepared for the sleep deprivation, the crazy crying, and the struggles of breast feeding. I had read a lot and talked to a lot of people, so I felt slightly prepared. But oh my goodness, I've changed my mind about so much...
1.) I would never give my baby formula. Well, when you're back and incision site is screaming in pain, I'll gladly hand over baby to DH and plop something ready made into his mouth.
2.) Pacifiers are most definitely your friend! Especially when your baby wants to suck on something to sleep...
3.) My baby would never, EVER have a dirty outfit on! That went out the window fast...
4.) Co-sleeping isn't really for me. That didn't last long...
5.) I never thought I'd learn to love frozen, microwave dinners.
6.) For the love of pete, do not miss a feeding time because tears are awful!
7.) And probably the most important lesson for us as first time parents... While changing diapers, if you think your son looks like he's about to pee everywhere, do NOT hesitate to cover him up!
And also... Smiles are amazing. :)
*Micah*
Farmgirl Sister #1478
http://pinterest.com/miss_micahp/
http://misadventuresofamicah.tumblr.com/ |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 2:22:13 PM
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Laurie, all 4 of mine were completly differant as infants, I too thought I would have smooth sailing, thats a HUGE laugh...
Jen, OMG YES, food in my mouth NOWWWWWW, was starved, but also found with each of mine, sometimes your stomach was not happy about that first food you ate after delivery, lol...
Micah, your #7 is right on, after raising 3 boys, and having 3 grandsons around alot, I learned the hard way more than once, keep them boys covered NO MATTER WHAT, cause the second you don't, you will be sorry...
To all new mommys, no matter if its your 1st or 5th, if people offer to make food, let them, cause you can always freeze the extras, for the days that no one thinks you need it anymore, and you are just way too tired to make it safe to try and cook, also, if anyone offers to come watch the baby for any length of time, go for it, even if you just go take a long nap...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 2:51:17 PM
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I would say with DD1 I wish I would of worked harder at getting her at the breast and not worried so much about the pumping.
If you are having a hard time getting him to take you over the bottle, please find a LLL group near you, the women there can really help you get him back to the breast. If you can't do that, don't go any where for like a week, just give the bottle enough to get him not to be frantic, then put in the breast, keep doing that (not giving him bottle till full, just till not frantic, then switch to breast) till he will do it. I gave up to fast with DD1. I learned with DD2 it took about a week for her to take my breast completely with out wanting a bottle. After EPing for so long with DD1 I never want to have to do that again. To be honest pumping didn't bother me the first year or so, but after a while I was tired of dragging the pump every where we went and all those dishes!
That being said a few tips on pumping-get the car adapter, it's better then the battery pack-the battery pack was always a last resort for me. Put every thing you need in the car to pump.
Did you know you can put the pumping stuff in the fridge and not wash it every pump session? I didn't know that! Till way late in the game! lol I also learned with DD2 keeping a cooler by my bed so I could just pump and put the milk in the cooler till morning was so much easier then pumping and getting up and putting things in the fridge/kitchen. I also used a timer that would beep after 15/20 minutes (however long you pump set the timer for that) I learned to sit up in a chair pump, press the timer, and go to sleep! The timer would wake me up when I was done! lol haha This really helped the sleep situation! lol
Ok I want people to cook for me! lol My husbands plan is always just to take me out to eat or go buy food! lol haha Thankfully we do have a lot of "homemade" like places around here. lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 3:19:39 PM
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Laurie - I haven't had a chance to wish you congrats on your baby's arrival! I wish you all joy and happiness. I have 4 girls and I do remember coming home with my first (and she's now 9!). It's a shock to the system. You are totally in love with this little being, and you felt you were so prepared before they came home and then you discover after they do that there is so much you DIDN'T know or anticipate. One thing I do wish I could go back and change is that I should have listened to my own instincts more when dealing with stuff than I did. I took a lot of negative commentary from family on my abilities as a first time mom. I came from a family that believed in Ferberizing from birth, no breastfeeding, no-co-sleeping and certainly no "attachment parenting." I, on the other hand, was into breastfeeding (still am - my youngest is 1!), co-slept with my daughter (still do with youngest), carried her in a carrier or sling and couldn't bear to let her "cry it out." My family, as a result, liked to tell me I was weird and was doing everything wrong. It made me question myself a lot and even "pretend" I wasn't doing things (I hid my breastfeeding! Can you believe it?) I'm more confident now and no longer hide what I believe in as a mom.
So, what I am getting at, is that I'm encouraging you to go easy on yourself and let the journey unfold. Don't think you are doing things wrong. You are mom now, and you are experiencing a love so powerful there is nothing else like it on earth.
I will also say, the sleep deprivation is awful when you are going through it, but that stage whizzes by faster than you can believe. Then you will miss those late nights and early mornings.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 4:31:34 PM
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I forgot to add you may want to get a silicone breast shield also, that may help transition from bottle to breast, as it kind of has the same feel as a bottle nipple. that's how I did it with DD2. There is different sizes. I seen on one site it said to get a smaller one for new borns, do NOT do that. I did that with DD1 and my nip did not fit in it! It needs to fit your mouth, babies know how to nurse no matter the size of your nips! lol ;o)
And ditto to what Suzanne said. Go with your instincts, I always regret the times I don't!
BTW, Suzanne, I do all the same things you mentioned, and I have people all the time telling me this and that study says this and that (contrary to what ever I am doing), and I just smile and nod, and go about doing things exactly how I want and feel is best! I don't argue with them or say anything different to them, it's worthless time to do so I figure, and I don't have the energy to argue. So I just smile, nod and know I'll just keep on doing what I am doing. lol It's none of their business any way!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 6:14:00 PM
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I can't even count the number of passy's we went through. I know we probably had 5 at a time somewhere. DD eventually lost interest in them and her teeth came in straight. She's 6 now and we still have bedtime battles. She's never been able to sleep in the dark. As a baby we couldn't be out driving around after dark or she would scream bloody murder...until I put one of those clip on LED reading lights on her car seat...ahhh sweet silence.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 7:22:08 PM
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I meant that the shield needs to fit your nips not mouth! UHG!
Farm Dream, DD1 didn't like the paci! lol UHG, she didn't sleep for 3 years! lol Oh I wish she would of liked the darn thing! lol DD2 loves her paci! LOVES! We have only had two for her though since she was a few weeks old, we caught on quick and got her one of those clippy things and clipped it to her bib. She is 1 1/2 still wears a bib daily and her paci.....I'm not too worried about it, I have a sister who didn't break of her paci till she was around 4, I was not bottle broke till 5. I figure it will happen, it's driving FIL crazy though! But, hey I've got to sleep for 1 1/2 years too! So I don't give a flying flip! lol haha
DS so far isn't seeming interested in a paci either though, but thankfully he sleeps either way! lol hahaha
One thing I learned though is we bought two clippy things for the paci at buy buy baby, and even putting them in the dishwasher and laundry washer doesn't get the ribbon part cleaned. I bought new ones, when we brought DS home, from babies r us, that are a thicker ribbon, and the ribbon is actually pretty (the clippy part of the ones from buy buy baby were the decor part of it, they were bears, the new ones just the ribbon part is the decor). Any way the ribbon seems more silky less ridges, and seems to stay cleaner and doesn't stain. So now it doesn't look like we never clean her paci holder! Wish we would of switched sooner, I am always embarrassed about how stained up the ribbon on the bear ones look!
And not to get into sounding too much like a commercial, but for breastfeeding mommies I can't reccomend the brestfriend pillow enough! they are wonderful. I have two. I have a bad back and can't hold things up for very long or very much weight. The pillow keeps baby right in position and doesn't hurt my back keeping him/her up where she needs to be. Especially cause I have large breast. I have a boppy too, but the boppy needs to constantly be adjusted, and doesn't fit in ALL chairs, also doesn't work well in chairs with out arms. The my brestfriend works in any chair, with or with out arms, even in the bed! I love the thing!
The other product I learned I needed with DD2 since we were using a nipple shield, is a paci holder, the kind that zips closed and are round with a little strap on top for carrying or clipping on to a diaper bad. This kept me from constantly loosing the thing, it's clear and gets lost easily. This time I have the my brestfriend pillow and it has a pocket so I keep it in there! lol haha But, with DD2 I lost a LOT of them before investing in a paci holder bag thing. If only they came in tinted colors like contact do! lol haha When we moved I found a TON of the shields under the bed, couldn't see them with out moving the bed cause they were clear and it was dark under there! lol How they got under the bed I do not know! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 7:24:27 PM
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oh and almost forgot, we live way out in the country, when it's dark it's DARK in our apartment. I'm diabetic, and apparently constantly pregnant! Which means a lot of trips to the bathroom. My husband found some new night lights at walmart that didn't cost much and adjust as needed by the light they sense in the room. They go from off, to dim to bright. They are the brightest ones we have found, I believe they come six in a pack for like 3 dollars? Any way has made going to the bathroom at night much easier, so may want to see about those for your DD and the dark. Thankfully my DD's don't seem to mind a bit about the dark! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2011 : 11:27:14 AM
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OMG, the food thing was right on. 36 hours of labor and then I was told only clear liquids to start! I was starving by the time I got real food.
8) co-sleeping. Never thought I would after my niece's horror stories. I do. It keeps him warmer, but we try for no more than half the night. (yeah right mom)
9) changing times - can you say scream? I never heard a child scream such bloody murder. He must think we are awful for changing him out of the wet/dirty diaper.
10) holding your breath? I never heard of this and I do not mean just a pause, but a turn purple hold his breath tantrum. The day the doctor mentioned it, Junior started. He cries so hard he holds his breath. It was suggested a flick to the heel, but he ignores that. Now I blow in his face. He does not like that and takes a breath.
11) Time for me. We were running most of this week, between follow up visits and everything else. Today, we are staying home and I am just enjoying the quiet time and not a lot of work. Thank goodness for my sister and her cleaning. (She came in for 2 weeks to help)
12) Feed every 4 hours. In the hospital they fed him every three and I continued that a little bit when I got home. Well then we went to 4 and he seemed to be just fine. Lately he sleeps through that 4 hour mark and I let him. He'll wake within another hour or so, but does not seem to disappointed at missing his feeding time. One girl that had a baby this summer had a daughter that slept for 14 hours straight. Then I guess I would wake the child to feed, but right now, 5 hour stints through the day, or even the night, sound pretty good to me, and he does not seem to mind.
I love the stories you ladies have.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
Edited by - Montrose Girl on Oct 23 2011 11:36:48 AM |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2011 : 12:19:20 AM
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We co-sleep I like sleep! lol
Yeah......they go through phases of not liking changing times! lol Funny with my siblings they had certain people they liked to change them better then others. Now them not many people have changed my children....me, my hubby, and just recently my parents. My step father had to change DD2 while I was having DS. She has been screaming for a few weeks with DH and I changing her, but didn't make a fuss at all about my DSF changing her.....now what's up with that? lol haha
The holding breath, man each child is soooooooo different. I have 17 siblings, and of course my own. And until this last summer I have never seen a child do this! But, wouldn't you know it, DD2 did this, and even made her self pass out, her eyes rolled back in her head, and she went limp in my DH's arms, scared him to death! Since then she has tried it a few more times, but my husband gets so scared, he starts yelling at her to breath, until she does......I will tell him about the blowing in her face. That may work better then the screaming to breath! lol haha Thankfully she's only turned blue, and did the passing out thing once, as we know how to stop it now, and the signs of her about to do it-the sucking in forever, getting ready for the yell, but then the yell never comes, cause of course by that time she has passed out! Any way........she was like 16 or 17 months though before she tried it. She got knocked down by a really really big man, on accident he backed up from his own child and didn't realize she was behind him, and that's the first time she did it. Like I said now we see her since then try it again and we head it off, but will start doing the blowing in face to get her to stop! cause it is SCARY!
I would not go longer then 5 hours with out feeding, if you wait 6 or more hours between feeding/pumping you are risking having supply issues. Right now you should be getting plenty of supply due to hormones, but your body is learning how much to make, by the time your baby is around 3 months your supply will dip down to what your body thinks your baby needs, so it's real important if you want to keep your supply up to feed/pump as often as possible, ideally every 3 hours, but try to never go longer then 5 hour stints.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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ajbaker
Farmgirl in Training
11 Posts
Alicia
Pullman
WA
11 Posts |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 2:25:35 PM
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Congrats Alicia!!!
I've two children. Five and four. My son was the one that needed me every second of every day. He had mom radar. He could be fast asleep in the bassinet beside our bed. My husband would walk in and get ready for bed, ever noticed men just aren't that quiet??? He wouldn't wake up. I'd come into the room so silently, rest my knee on the bed and he'd be awake and screaming. He's a high maintenance child and has been since pregnancy. My daughter was another story. That girl could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and wouldn't wake up until she was dirty or hungry.
I say do what works for you and your child and don't worry about everyone's opinion. Everyone considers themselves an expert but they don't know your child the way you do. Do your research and decide what's best for you and your family and then ignore the plethora of advice you WILL receive. You can learn from others but if you try to implement everything that everyone says is the only way you'll go mad.
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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YakLady
True Blue Farmgirl
652 Posts
Natalie
Montana
USA
652 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 3:29:11 PM
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I'm 36 weeks today, looking forward to keeping Junior covered during changings and getting very little sleep! Haha soon enough :)
I love reading all your little tips. Has anyone here done a homebirth?
~Natalie~ Just a farmgirl in Western Montana. http://mtnme.blogspot.com
Starting a family and raising Tibetan Yaks, Nigerian Dwarf Goats, Laying hens, Muscovy ducks, and a few dogs. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 4:58:32 PM
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Congrats Natalie and Laura!
So so true Kimberly! lol So true, as they always begin all the LLL meeting at my meeting by saying, take what is useful to you and leave the rest. That can be said of just about all advice, take what works for you and don't worry about the rest.
And Natalie, I am so thinking about investing in a peepee teepee! lol haha But, thankfully the boy doesn't pee on me, only on hubby! lol hahaha Hmmm... lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 12:50:28 PM
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congrats ladies. Yes, lack of sleep is the big item. I don't know how you ladies with several children manage. My poor cats are feeling neglected. Feels like all I do is feed, hold, change junior and pump. I'm tired of pumping as trying to steal the 1/2 hour to do so is getting harder. He doesn't go right back to sleep like he did in the hospital so the time I pumped after feeding him gets pushed back as I try to settle him down. That I am discovering is the hardest part. He cries murder when I try to get him to latch. I might get a few suckles out of him, but then he's done and screaming.
Another lesson - don't have a baby anywhere near hunting season.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 2:59:42 PM
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I would for sure seek out a LLL leader for help on latching him! Or a LC not all LCs are the same you may need a different one if you already have went to one. Check for sure about being tongue tied as well. Get a nipple shield and try to stay at home and do nothing for a week but learning to latch him.
Put the nipple shield on and offer the breast, if he screams give him the bottle till he settles (not till he is full), then give the breast again, keep on doing this every feeding each time. It will be CRAZY! (I went through this both with DD1 and DD2) With DD1 I gave up and wish I hadn't! soooooo wish I hadn't! With DD2 I remembered with DD1 how much I regretted giving up and just exclusively pumped for 2 1/2 years! So I just stayed home for a week and did just like I told you. I wanted to cry and pull out my hair! But, that's when LLL can give you a pick me up to keep on sticking with it. With in a week I was able to get DD2 completely off the bottle! With in another week no more nipple shield either! However, I wasn't as hard nosed about getting rid of the shield I just wanted off that pump! The shield kind of just happened organically on it's own.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 10:41:11 AM
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Yup, I'm at the hair pulling stage. He's three weeks old and can throw the biggest fits. First thing in the morning is tough as I am a bit grumpy and have little patience at that time, course 3 am is not any better. ;)
Sent sis off today to have the day with him alone. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for the advice Heather.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 1:26:22 PM
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Laurie, it truly gets easier as you go along. You and baby get into a rhythm and pretty soon you're wondering what the big deal was!!! But at the time...... you're ready to pull your hair out and just want to sit down and cry. I never had any problems with latching on my children were little piggies who loved to nurse so I'll second Heather's advice, seek some help because once it works right it's a wonderful bonding time for you and your little one. :)
Natalie, I was desperate to homebirth, desperate. But my hubby wouldn't let me. I was a little older when I had my first and he didn't want to take any risks. Probably a good thing because I was in labor 27 hours four of which was pushing. They used the vacuum and forceps in an effort to get him out. They started talking c-section but I set them straight (not saying you shouldn't have one if you need one but I knew I didn't). So second baby comes along and I'm thinking, homebirth. Ummmm lets just say hubby was traumatized by my blood on the wall during the last delivery and refused to consider it. So both my babies were born in a hospital. Could have easily had the second at home, super easy delivery, pushed a total of 20 minutes. Breeze after doing it four hours. Do you have a good midwife or doula to help? If you do a homebirth be sure to let us know how it went. Are you doing a waterbirth? I'll be envious. :)
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 09:49:02 AM
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13) I'll never use all those blankets and burb cloths that I received. Yeah right. Thank goodness for them all. They are scattered around at all our feeding places because I always manage to forget to grab one when I sit and he was making a mess when he ate. Better with the new bottle, but I'm glad for those cloths.
14) Change through all the outfits because they outgrow them fast. He's out of the newborn size already, I saw a chart at Target and for his birth length he was already in the 3 month old clothes.
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 3:56:24 PM
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Heather, When you were trying to get you daughter to breast feed, did she throw a fit? The screaming temper tantrum type?
My little man jumps to the bottle with no issues and quiets down to eat immediately. If I try to switch him over, he starts crying. He might suckle a little, then he starts with the fits again. Then he falls asleep on me. This morning he took, or seemed to for a little bit then fell asleep and was hungry two hours later. He didn't take all the bottle he usually does.
It's only been a few days, but I am going nuts already and not certain if he will take. But the pumping is worse as it limits everything else I can do in a day. I"m getting work done at least since I can be on the computer at the same time.
Thanks for all the advice.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 7:54:46 PM
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Yes, both my DD's did! DD1 would claw me up like a wild cat! I would literally cry (not from the pain, but from the emotional part of me that didn't understand!). DD2 literally would pull her hair out, and I literally WANTED to pull my own out! I mean for real I was literally having to fight now pulling my own out!
It took me about a week with DD2. With DD1, I didn't I didn't know what I was doing. I read up a lot between DD1 and DD2. So I had the nipple shield, I think I waited to long to try it with DD1! And by that time her temper tantrums were awful. I also didn't realize you can ALWAYS make milk on demand so I used to think I needed to schedule her nursing around the pump times. I did get her to nurse ONE time, with a shield on then I had problems trying to do it again because of the pump schedule and her hunger schedule. Like I said I didn't know much at the time, so just figured I just pumped I'm empty so need to give her a bottle, but that's not true! You can make milk on demand. I learned a lot between dd1 and dd2.
Any way, with DD2, I would first try to give her my breast, she would throw a fit, I would give her the bottle to settle her, then give her my breast again and keep going back and forth till she went to sleep. By that time I would be hot, tired, near tears, and wanting to pull my hair our!
However, I decided I was going to give it at least a week. It literally took the whole week but by the end of the week she did it and we never had to look back, she kept to the breast with out a problem.
I think the shield helped in the transition because it at least was closer to feeling like the bottle.
I wish, wish, wish I had known more with DD1, and how hard pumping would eventually become. And how much easier and more fun nursing is! It's also a lot easier on your nipples, my nipples were in a lot of pain during pumping (they never would be soft, always erect, as the pump was so hard on them, and so they were always sensitive, and kind of like a mild pain, my nipples rarely hurt with nursing, very very rarely, they aren't constantly erect, etc etc).
I also would highly suggest The Womanly Art of breastfeeding and Breastfeeding Made Simple Natural Nursing, even if they don't give specific advice you want, they kind of helped boost my morale. Also really if you can find a LLL group near you they are the best women I have ever met. I plan on continuing going long after I stop nursing even. Really I love the meetings, and they help center me back to normal even if it is just for a couple of hours every other week. (ours is every other week, most are only once a month, too bad, because when I have had to miss one, that extra two weeks seems like forever! I need the every two week encouragement, being around women who think like me on most things, and even if they don't they are extra encouraging to just keep on keeping on, on all things of life not just the nursing. They are like my little cheer leading team. There's not many things I get to do, that other people understand my high energy kids and it's ok! lol In fact funny thing is last meeting a few of the women said they weren't bringing their toddlers and older kids cause they weren't very well behaved. I must say I felt a little the same way about bringing Lela the first time, then after that I seen other kids who were just like her so said what the hay! lol I don't let Lela get by with every thing mind you and a few times she has had to go out to the car with daddy cause she just didn't listen at all! But, by and large she's no worse then the other kids there, and is learning to be social. I wish I would of just told the other ladies last week to go ahead and bring them, I certainly don't mind. I went to another location where no one brought their older ones, only the babies, and I felt like I couldnt' go if I didn't have some where to take Lela, and I don't want other mommies feeling like that cause that's hard! I like the group I go to, cause they are so nice and accepting and encouraging of every one!
In fact one of our leaders of my group last week said, she thought we were all great and doing the best we can, and was proud of us all. That feels so good to hear from some one when so many out there judge your every move, they judge you if your child doesn't behave just right, if your child doesn't breastfeed, etc, and they judge you if do discipline and if you do breastfeed! I mean there's some one out there that will judge you no matter what you do. So it's nice to be around a group of women that don't do that. We have had several in our group the past year I have been part of it, that either EP (exclusively pump), have never breastfed but want to learn, some aren't even pregnant but are nurses and wanted help in helping their patients, and then we have a few that just magically take to breastfeeding like it's no problem, and on and on, there's every kind of mom there, yet all are accepted with out any negativity. Awe it feels good to have that kind of friendship for a few hours every couple of weeks. Cause after being out and about and people saying all kinds of crude and rude things with out thinking about what kind of day you are having, what you have been doing to be positive and help your children grow healthy, productive ect, and then to say negative uneducated, and really down right wrong things to you since they don't even know, just UHG some days! lol Any way, I can't say enough about LLL. But, also I think a lot of it has to do with my local group is so good. I went to one, that I didn't gel with near as much and a few things were said that just made me feel left out, it was still ok, just not the pick me up my group is now!
Any way enough rambling. But, believe me you will get through it, and yes there was horrible temper tantrums. Literally clear your calendar this week, and do nothing but stay home, and do nothing else but work on the nursing, while he naps, have your husband take care of you too, and pamper yourself as much as possible. It will be DRAINING emotionally and physically. But, once you are over the hump it is soooooo worth it! And like I said if you can work in a LLL meeting it will be worth it too. I drive a hour to mine, but it is sooooo worth it. It's still cheaper then formula, and well we all need friends!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 09:01:17 AM
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Thanks Heather, He's still being stubborn.
The best moments are the smiles while he's sleeping. He's so adorable. I wonder what he is dreaming.
DH is getting more comfortable handling him and helping out when I have to pump, but my wiggly worm can be a handful and DH is still afraid of dropping or breaking him. It's amazing how a grown man can be turned into such a softy. ha!
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Nov 06 2011 : 12:34:39 PM
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Awe sorry it's still not going well. Glad you are still pumping though. And that dh is helping more.
Have you tried the shield? Also I found patting their back while trying to latch also helps. It's hard to do at the same time, but seems to help a lot. Having a breast feeding pillow to keep them on while doing such helps, so you get a extra arm to do all this with.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2011 : 08:44:35 AM
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A shield is the only way he attempts, won't even try without it. I'm definitely at wits end.
We have gone through a growth spurt where he wants to eat all night long, and then has the wettest diapers. I changed so many last night...
I'm having to supplement with formula as I can't pump enough. What formula have you ladies tried?
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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Family Matters: Being a first time mom |
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Being a first time mom
