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Family Matters:  visiting homes where family/friends smoke  |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 07:48:37 AM
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Well, we've bowed out of a get together today for Thanksgiving. We don't feel it's our right to ask someone to not smoke in their own home (even family).
Unfortunately, they changed locations at the last minute, and we have several of us recovering from bronchitis.
We may offer our home next year, so we can say "no smoking allowed" and still have a meal together.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 09:11:29 AM
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That's too bad you had to miss the dinner. Your health is very important, too. When my father moved closer to us he fixed up his spare bedroom so DD could spend the night. DD had surgery and lung issues at birth. We've told him there's no way she could spend the night because he smokes. He doesn't understand what the big deal is. He also tried to give us heirloom blankets but they are ruined because they've soaked in 40 years of smoke. Just can't get the smell out after that long.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Prairie Gypsy
True Blue Farmgirl
823 Posts
Tammy
Wolford
North Dakota
USA
823 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 10:36:57 AM
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Totally understand Kristina. It's a rough thing to do and so many just don't get it but the health of you and the kids is more important.
Farmgirl Sister # 2363
http://twilightburrough.blogspot.com/
Warren, MI
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 12:40:16 PM
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I understand this as I am a smoker & even when I have company I smoke out on the front porch if they are non-smokers out of kindness....I have areas in my house I don't smoke the bedroom being one which has a air purifier in it to help keep the air clean in there....I also have these in other rooms of the house.....I have found that by being a smoker I have to do things differently to help others who are around me but I have never minded & understand their concern.....Plus I am a non-drinker but I understand others do drink so I never get upset over this as long as I have my coffee....as for the blankets use 2 cups of white vinegar in the wash with no soap then run it again with the soap..that should help you & save the blankets.
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 1:53:35 PM
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I smoke too, AND understand as well. I smoke in my home, unless there are people coming who can't stand smoke. Then I just don't do it...untill they're gone lol. NEVER smoke in the bedroom etc. Only the l.room nowhere else.
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Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
http://pinkprincessdecorating.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me, my home and my crafts
Farmgirl sister # 2410 |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 2:21:31 PM
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i have never smoked but everyone around me has..we will be visiting family in ohio over Christmas- staying at a motel due to the dog going with us-but my one son and his wife smoke so it will limit our visitng them...i cannot be around the smoke for long ...
it's a tuff issue.....
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 3:56:39 PM
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I would explain to your guests who smoke that they are invited, but if they want to smoke they can go on the deck, in the garage (with the door open) or what ever area you can designate for them. If you have children, most smokers would understand why. Or if they don't, just tell them your family is prone to bronchial problems. nuff said. If they can't respect you and your wishes, then maybe they need to host thanksgiving the following year.
Lorie
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 7:08:02 PM
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Cigarette smoke is the leading cause of ear infections in children. My mom quit smoking 4 1/2 years ago, when my son was born. Her husband chain smokes three butts in the morning first ting. He quit for a short time when he had Cancer. He goes outside when kids are inside.
I never have a problem telling people what I need. Maybe if you asked, your relatives would rather see your family than smoke indoors, especially because of the bronchitis.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 10:33:09 PM
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My family all smoked when I was growing up, with exception to my mom and dad, but my step father smoked too! For a long time then he quit. But, every one else smoked. We inherited a lot of things, that were smoke damaged. Launder, and then keep outside. It may take a year or two, but launder and then hang outside often as possible store away till the next time you can do it again till all the odor is gone. But, it takes just doing it over and over, I did that with loved items from grandma took a while but eventually went away. Also during the "storage" times when I couldn't let it air outside, I would store it sprinkled with a lot of baking soda, to absorb odors as well.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2011 : 10:41:28 PM
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oh and that's why we have the family here, they can smoke on the porch and what not, and we can breath easier. My grandparents would always smoke outside for a few hours before we came and not smoke inside while we were there, but the house was saturated with it. So it didn't help much. :( Sad to say.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Nov 26 2011 : 05:53:46 AM
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I know the problem. Tobacco smoke makes me have sinus problems that are out of sight. I cannot stay long at my son's place because his girlfriend smokes.
I have someone staying in the other half of my house and when first there they were smoking up stairs right across from my bedroom. I could smell it through the walls. Told them no more or they could not stay there.
CMF |
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Apache Lady
Farmgirl in Training
47 Posts
Erika
La Puente
California
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 09:15:43 AM
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| My dad was a chain smoker all my years growing up. As a teenager I hated going out smelling like a cigarette butt. Everything smelled, curtains, clothing, the bathroom was the worst. My dad passed about 4 years ago from emphesema, he never quit. But amazing thing, his last couple of years he started smoking outside only, I have no idea why. He also respected other peoples homes, he never smoked in anyone's house but his own. My mom used to smoke too, but when she became pregnant with my older brother she quit cold turkey, never smoked since. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 09:25:08 AM
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Well, you have to do what's right for you and your family. Personally, I can't blame you.
Like Erika, my father was a lifelong smoker, and died of a massive heart attack at 70. He was also very respectful of other people but I never liked smoking--even went so far as to close my door and put masking tape over the seams where the air might filter in. Personally, the habit is so atrocious to me that I have never even tried it--in fact, I go wash my hands immediately if I've even touched a pack of cigarettes. I'm not trying to be holier than thou, it just repulses me THAT much and with all we know today, I can't figure out why someone would still smoke.
This past summer, we attended a gathering for my Aunt's 90th birthday and since so many relatives and friends we hadn't seen in a while came, we changed our plans and decided to spend the night. My mom and I were invited to stay with her cousins, one of whom is completely in remission for a very rare and rapid cancer. She was a lifelong chain smoker, as was her husband--so it was with great surprise that when we got to their house, there were ashtrays on almost every surface, the house wreaked and SHE was smoking the most! I couldn't believe it. There were even ashtrays in the bathroom...they had ordered food (the best pizza ever, from a long time local joint) and I couldn't eat it because all I tasted was smoke because, yep, they were smoking with one hand, and eating with the other. Neither of us slept the whole night and we didn't have a change of clothing since we decided on a whim, to stay. It was awful--and I vowed NEVER again to stay with someone who smoked. My mom even remarked how horrible it was and that she couldn't understand how she'd lived with Daddy smoking for so long.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 10:25:44 AM
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hopefully, as cigarettes get more expensive (I just last night heard someone say that in Wisconsin they are almost $9/pack) more and more people will decide that not only is smoking back for their bodies, but also their finances. Who the heck can afford cigarettes at $9/pack?!?!?!
I have never been a smoker and never will be. One of the many reasons we do not step one foot into my parent's home is because of their smoking.
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Farmgirl Sister #88
Blogs:
http://omgsitstasharose.wordpress.com
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13771 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13771 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2011 : 11:54:44 AM
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My oldest sister (in her mid-70s) has been a chain smoker for more than 50 years. Until just recently she did NOT care where she smoked or upon whom she inflicted that. However, in just the recent past she has mellowed a lot and has a different attitude about it. She does know and understand that I and my family will never stay at her house (unless it's a dire emergency). I can't take it . . . but if I'm going to a smoker's home (which is rare) I just have to make my own adjustments because I wouldn't ask them not to smoke.
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
the "Purple Thistle" http://www.ceejay48.etsy.com
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
Through my lens - http://ceejayscamera.shutterfly.com/
From my Hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2011 : 07:43:47 AM
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Have you gals that are interested in quitting or trying to get a loved one to quit ever heard of electronic cigarettes? or considered switching to pipe smoking? Electronic ciggs are basically a nicotine vapor, not smoke and none of the additives, and pipe smoke is "tasted" not inhaled (pipe and pipe tobacco is also a nice Christmas gift!)
Both options can be kinder to materials and interiors, are not as offensive to non smokers and purportedly not as bad for you.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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ruthie218
True Blue Farmgirl
1445 Posts
Ruthie Ann
Indiana
USA
1445 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2011 : 10:10:06 AM
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| We had to miss holidays many years as the smoke made my dd and I very sick. After several years of my dd getting sick from just stopping by the decided to get a air puifer. |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2011 : 10:34:00 AM
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I work with 2 people who use the electronic cigarette. They are both extremely happy with it. We can all sit in the same room and there's no odor.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2011 : 03:57:22 AM
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This is waaay to late.
but sadly, I have to decline on seeing my beloved SIL on many occasion, not becasue she smikes, but becasue she insists on constantly keeping lit incense ALL-THE-TIME. ANd it's super perfumey. So you walk out of the house and your clothes reek. Sometimes her baked goods taste like it a little too.
It's a crying shame because she is a fabulous cook. But not worth a raging headache. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2011 : 10:54:32 AM
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Yeah Anna that stuff is just as bad, my step father used to smoke and use that kind of incense. My mom and he just doesn't understand how the incense and the spray air freshener oh and his helmet of hair spray nearly kill me. The hair spray isn't so bad as long as he applies it when I am not there, but when he applies it he uses sooo much for so long, that it gets up in my throat and I can't breath. I don't use hair spray at all! And it's just ACK!
That being said, the cat I own now, the previous owner nearly killed with burning incense. She said that the cat was mean and didn't like people. As soon as I seen the poor kitty I knew she had allergies, her eyes were weeping, and she loved me. I pikced her up and every thing and the lady cringed saying she would bite me, and scratch me. She NEVER has. Never! Even when I have accidently hurt her combing her hair, she didn't say a peep or scratch or bite me. Poor baby! I took her to the vet, and the vet said she had severe asthma and was to not be around incense, cigg smoke, etc etc etc. All the usual things humans shouldn't be around with asthma. And I must think it wasn't she didn't like the first lady, she was just miserable and could barely breath! Poor kitty. She's been a GREAT cat with us though. And sat on my lap the whole ride home, which was long and hasn't wanted to be apart from us since!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Dec 24 2011 : 03:56:22 AM
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Back when I still lived in apartments, there was this lady manes Mz. Evelyn. She smoked like a freight train. So badly that is seeped through the walls and even into MY clothing. Her complexion was bad too. So when I went home to visit, I got accused of smoking!!!
No way man! And she had this toy poodle named Brandy. Cute little thing who loved to play. but every time he got wound up he would start to cough really bad. Mz. Evely said he had heart problems. I think it was from all the second hand smoke! |
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Family Matters: visiting homes where family/friends smoke |
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visiting homes where family/friends smoke
