| Author |
Family Matters:  Looking for a post about marriage.  |
|
LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 08 2011 : 12:12:08 PM
|
Joey - NEVER be afraid to speak your mind here, whether you agree or disagree with a topic or post. I wasn't offended by your honest opinion! I know I like to see honest, open, civil discussions and politeness here and I think that's exactly what you were doing. I think everyone here values every Farmgirl - don't ever feel like we don't want to hear what you have to say, because we do! Speak your mind! I think it's great that you and your husband found what works for you. My husband and I wanted our marriage the way we have it. I think we're all lucky to have spouses who are our best friends and who we can really talk openly with.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
 |
|
|
FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Oct 08 2011 : 6:45:12 PM
|
I wasn't offended. It takes everyone's opinion to have a discussion. We can't learn from each other if we're never sure we won't say something out of bounds. I thought we were all kinda bragging about the awesome sweethearts we have. We should cheer ourselves for having such deep bonding relationships.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Oct 09 2011 : 6:31:13 PM
|
I'm sure if someone is in the mindset to get offended I can improvise something! :D
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
|
|
|
LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Oct 10 2011 : 1:38:42 PM
|
Jen - you made me laugh so hard!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
|
|
|
queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2011 : 5:01:06 PM
|
I just skimmed through these posts (my 4 yo is tired and needs to go to bed). Anyway, I don't ever talk about disagreements or money issues between my dh and me with anyone (unless it's my mom and sister). Even female friends, even though they think they're well meaning, can destroy a marriage. My biggest piece of advice, don't let a mole hill destroy your relationship. If something is not going to matter in 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or 1 year from now, it's not worth getting upset over. My dh never gives me any reason to doubt him. He cuts wood, does some tractor work (rock rake dirt roads, roadside mowing) and some of it is for women. I've seen my dh's professionalism and nothing goes over that line. I guess what I am getting at is that if your friend can't trust her dh, then why is she with him? Some other advice I have given younger women, love does not equal sex. Love equals respect not only for your dh but also for yourself and if you can't respect yourself when you are with your man, then you do not respect him. And the same goes for him. If he can't respect himself, then how is he going to respect you? Good luck with your friend.
Lorie |
|
|
|
one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2011 : 05:39:06 AM
|
She's with him because they are married and have children. Some people take that whole FOR WORSE thing seriously.
She's Christian, so forgiving is what Christians are supposed to do, right?
quote:
Originally posted by queenmushroom
I just skimmed through these posts (my 4 yo is tired and needs to go to bed). Anyway, I don't ever talk about disagreements or money issues between my dh and me with anyone (unless it's my mom and sister). Even female friends, even though they think they're well meaning, can destroy a marriage. My biggest piece of advice, don't let a mole hill destroy your relationship. If something is not going to matter in 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or 1 year from now, it's not worth getting upset over. My dh never gives me any reason to doubt him. He cuts wood, does some tractor work (rock rake dirt roads, roadside mowing) and some of it is for women. I've seen my dh's professionalism and nothing goes over that line. I guess what I am getting at is that if your friend can't trust her dh, then why is she with him? Some other advice I have given younger women, love does not equal sex. Love equals respect not only for your dh but also for yourself and if you can't respect yourself when you are with your man, then you do not respect him. And the same goes for him. If he can't respect himself, then how is he going to respect you? Good luck with your friend.
Lorie
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
|
Edited by - one_dog_per_acre on Oct 12 2011 05:42:19 AM |
|
|
|
MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2011 : 2:32:53 PM
|
Not trying to cause arguments, but the Bible does show there is grounds for divorce, and one if unfaithfulness-adultery. However, each person can choose if they want to on a individual basis to forgive or not forgive this form of unfaithfulness. Some people choose to forgive and go on with their marriage, while others do not think it is worth the risk. Both are christian since the Bible says you are free from your marriage mate if they commit adultery.
I'm not sure what I would do. I suppose I would forgive, but with small children I don't think I could put my health at that kind of risk. I have to stay alive to care for them. And sleeping with a man who cheats on me, would be putting my health at great risk-all kinds of diseases! So I don't think I could do it. However, I love my husband deeply and it would be hard for me to imagine life with out him. At the same time, I would imagine it would about rip my heart out that he would betray me that way too.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2011 : 3:47:33 PM
|
She is Catholic, but more than that, she is the nicest person I know. I imagine it would be hard to give up after 20 years. I could not forgive.
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
|
|
|
|
Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2011 : 6:21:43 PM
|
Thanks to all who offered support. It's nice to think we could all just "chat." I am sorry for your friend. Difficult situation, especially with children. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
|
|
|
queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2011 : 09:42:30 AM
|
| I'm sorry, I didn't realize there were children involved. Yes, I do believe in marriage for life, however, in the event of adultery and abuse, I am almost certain that God does allow divorce. Yes, it would be hard to give up a 20 year marriage. It actually happened to a relative of mine whose husband fell in love with another woman after being married for 20 some odd years. It hurt my relative, but, after her ex-mother in law (with whom she remained close to even after her divorce) died, my relatives ex hubby was over heard saying that he made a mistake divorcing my relative. She never remarried and will not take him back even if he divorced his current wife. Trust has alot to do with any relationship. There are boundaries in any relationship and I think that that the couple involved with this post need to sit down and have a heart to heart and possible counsiling if they cannot resolve this issue. |
|
|
|
Family Matters: Looking for a post about marriage. |
|
Looking for a post about marriage.
