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Family Matters:  Going to say goodbye to my FIL today...  |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 05:31:28 AM
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My husbands stepfather, as many of you know, has terminal cancer. In the last week he's taken a major turn for the worse, and we're going over to their house today to say our goodbyes.
Please pray for me to say the right things, for Tim to know how much we love him, and to not get sick (literally) from this ball of hurt/anger at cancer that's sitting in the pit of my stomach. Cancer has struck my husbands mom when he was young (Breast cancer-she's been cancer free for awhile) my husbands grandma (Breast cancer-she died of it) and now his stepdad. He's a wonderful, loving man, and it's all happened so fast, it's hard to process. He was perfectly healthy a month ago!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 05:56:42 AM
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Megan So sorry that you are going through this, I know how difficult it is. Just speak from your heart and hold his hand, hearing and the sense of feel are the last senses that a person has. Will keep all of you in my prayers.
Hugs, Kathy |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 06:35:16 AM
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Hard to muster the words to say good-bye, but at least you get the chance. Prayers out to you and your family.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
I ask not for a larger garden, but for finer seeds.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 06:42:05 AM
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Megan, I'm sorry for the pain your family is feeling right now. What a frustrating and helpless thing to sit by and watch. I send good thoughts that the words you need will be there when you need them. ((hugs))
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 06:49:55 AM
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Oh Megan, I am so sorry for you, your husband, your father-in-law and your entire family. I lost both my parents, 2 grandparents and a very dear father-in-law (who was like a second father to me) to cancer, so I can sympathize with your pain, grief and anger. I send you prayers of strength, comfort and peace.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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embchicken
True Blue Farmgirl
1487 Posts
Elaine
Ocean
NJ
USA
1487 Posts |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 07:06:45 AM
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Megan I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. Bless you and prayers that today will be a loving and heartwarming experience. Just show your love to him, it will bring him peace to go with the days ahead. Will be thinking of you.
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 07:13:15 AM
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Megan,
What a heartbreak for the entire family. I'm so sorry for your pain.
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 1:32:42 PM
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Megan, It is never about the "right" words, just that you are there supporting your husband and your FIL and giving of yourself. Make sure you and hubby give each other a big hug tonight before you go to bed as you probably will both need it too.
Thoughts are with you,
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2873 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2873 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 6:53:44 PM
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Meagan
I don't know what to say. It is different for everyone. Just know that the farmgirls are praying for peace and understanding.
God Bless.. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2011 : 07:53:46 AM
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So sorry, Megan--it's difficult to understand these things when they happen. Sometimes, you just don't or won't, really. Your fil knows he is loved, and he will relish these last moments with his family. I'm sure his body is tired--he will be at rest.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2011 : 08:10:04 AM
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I tried to put myself in his space. Which, may sound bad, but, I said to myself, "What would I want to hear if I was going to die?!" and so I just told him that we loved him and we're praying for him and will see him hopefully again in this life, but, if not, we'd see him in heaven. I gave him a hug and a kiss, and made sure Annabelle sat on the bed with him and played and laughed for him. Now we wait. If he makes it through the week we'll go next week.
My Mother-in-law is of course just engulfed with this whole thing. She's lost weight, she isn't eating much, and him dying is all she can think about-she says it's like living in a nightmare and she can't wake up. People are bringing over meals to her, and the guys moved out my FIL's truckm so they could sell it. They also moved furniture that she wanted moved. I told her to call me ANYTIME to do laundry, cook, clean, or just to talk. It's hard to go through this and not think about my family, 2000 miles away, though. :(
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 11:02:02 AM
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It's been a month-and he's still around, amazingly. He's on a pain pump-he's lost probably 100 lbs-he can't really talk anymore. We've gone every weekend to see him. My MIL says they'll be surprised if he makes it through the week. He's kinda in and out of consiousness. I guess during the night he starts reaching out-like he's reaching to heaven. Right now we're just praying that God just makes the suffering stop. We know that God will use this for His good, but, we just don't want Tim to suffer anymore. I guess his feet aren't the characteristic purple spotted hue that they say is the last thing before they pass, so, I guess there's still a little time. I just feel so bad for him now. My husband is having a really, really hard time with this. I don't think he's ever seen anyone in this state before. We just kinda rode home in silence-we don't really know what to say about it to each other-there's not much TO say, ya know?
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 11:07:59 AM
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Megan, thinking of you. Just your presence must have felt good to him, and even if he does not seem to know you are there, I bet somewhere in his mind, he knows and he knows you love him. Praying for you all.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 12:35:27 PM
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Megan I'm so so sorry that your FIL is in such misery and praying to pass on. It is truly a kind of hell to watch some one that you know and love be taken down by this hideous disease. My beloved grandmother and great aunt both died from cancer, stomach and skin cancer, my dad has survived cancer three times and I'm just cringing waiting for some one else that I love be struck by it. You do have hospice involved don't you? Sorry, I'm not remembering if you've said already or not. Also, if you belong to a church, perhaps your minister could help your poor husband find comfort. There is also grief counseling, I now wish I'd gone to one when my mom died. They can help as well.
I know what you're going through and I'm so terribly sorry. I'm hoping that your FIL passes gently and soon so that he isn't in pain any longer.
Love and hugs
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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jollyquilter
True Blue Farmgirl
251 Posts
WV
USA
251 Posts |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2011 : 1:55:12 PM
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My husband is with him now. They're just kinda waiting. I guess this morning Tim just "Felt" that it was time to go. The family is there, around him. His blood pressure is unreadable and his heart rate is erratic. I'm guessing he just has maybe a few more hours. Thanks for your prayers, ladies.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Acelady02
True Blue Farmgirl
1266 Posts
Penny
Washington
GA
USA
1266 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2011 : 5:29:02 PM
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Megan I am so sorry for your family, I sure hope that he finds peace soon. Prayers for all of ya'll
(((((Hugs All)))))Penny
Farmgirl Sister #3343
God gives Miracles to those who Believe, Courage to those with Faith, Hope to those who Dream, Love to those who Accept, & Forgiveness to those who Ask... |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2011 : 3:52:26 PM
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My (Step) father in law passed at 6:13 pm today. I'm guessing my MIL is probably taking care of things on her end, as my uncle in law called my husband to break the news.
Husband was a little broken up-I talked with him and hugged him, but he decided to go for a walk. I think he just didn't want to lose it in front of me. Tim was suffering for a long time; I'm thankful that Jesus took him home finally. The saddest part is that Friday was my mother in laws birthday, and Saturday was Tim's birthday. If you could, please pray for my family.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2011 : 4:04:05 PM
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Comfort and peace prayers being said. Hug your poor husband a lot, poor man =( I'm very thankful that Tim is no longer suffering so.
Hugs
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2011 : 04:45:12 AM
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Me too. The funeral was packed! Staning room only! Tim had recorded a message to everyone-they played it at the funeral-that was so heartwrenching.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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missusprim
True Blue Farmgirl
400 Posts
Karen
Fostoria
Ohio
USA
400 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2011 : 3:23:07 PM
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Megan, my thoughts are with you and your family. In some ways take solace that it was quick and not a long agonizing jouney for your FIL as well as for your family.
I believe that when one door closes another opens. I have so many examples!
That said, please take care and talk to if you need to - we're all ears and open hearts!
Farmgirl Sister #2984
"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." George Eliot
http://farmchicatheart.blogspot.com/
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2011 : 3:48:54 PM
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:( So sorry.
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
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Wildcrafter
True Blue Farmgirl
340 Posts
Suzanne
Seattle
WA
USA
340 Posts |
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Family Matters: Going to say goodbye to my FIL today... |
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Going to say goodbye to my FIL today...
