| Author |
Parenting & Farm Kids:  raising cain.. I mean kids  |
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 28 2006 : 9:58:57 PM
|
I am having a heck of time with my youngest.
She will be 2 in a few months and is just awful all the time anymore. SHe had a rough start in the beginning and she got a little spoiled because it was hard to tell if she needed something or didn't feel good or what the deal was, and now she just goes into a rage every time she doesn't get exactly what she wants when she wants it.
She also is doing really bad things to test me now.. like today feels like it was the last straw, in the split second it took to stand up and answer the phone, she unscrewed her sippy cup lid (she just learned how to do that the other day) climbed up and dumped it out in my new 500.00 laptop... first nice thing I've owned since having kids and I only got to have it for a week.. I am still beside myself about it.
My husband keeps telling me that she's just a baby and I can't get mad at her, but when I talk to her and look at her face, I KNOW she knows, she will look away and then look back at you with this little smirk and then do things anyway right after I tell her no.
I did really well with my oldest, but this one has got me to the end of my rope.
I have tried spanking, I have done time outs, I have held on to her and pinned her arms to her sides to stop her from screaming and throwing herself around, I have ignored her, I have gotten down to her level and talked to her matter of factly and I have been nothing but snuggles and love towards her. NOTHING seems to make a difference.
My mom thinks I am not strict enough and that I need to be tougher on her, but she can't really come up with any examples of what I should actually be doing that I haven't tried yet. My husband thinks I am too tough on her because she is just a baby and will grow out of it..
At this point I think we should be beyond screaming every time she doesn't get her sippy cup filled as fast as she would like it, and past the point of throwing herself around like she is demon possessed every time I have to tell her no or take something away from her. Kaylee was never like that, and I am just so overwhelmed that I don't know what to do with her anymore.
I am getting really frustrated and it's like trying to love a rattlesnake right now.. it makes me sad to say that because I feel like the worst mommy in the world to her because I just can't get her under control.
Anyone else have a little rager on their hands who loved to distroy everything in their path? Do you have any tips on how to parent them without just putting them in a straight jacket with a bow on it and leaving them on someones doorstep?
Lately The running joke in our house has been, "If we love her maybe we should set her free and if she doesn't come back maybe it was never meant to be!"
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 12:03:51 AM
|
she will absolutely grow out of this.I am raising a 2 yr old now.There are frustrating days sometimes.
Thing is they are at an age where they are discovering a little bit of their own independence. That means learning what they can and can't do.
That doesn't mean that they understand fully the consequences of their actions and why mommy got so aggravated after she poured the cup of water out. She only knew that she could do something..for her it was a new skill..she had accomplished something..a cause and effect..but her little mind doesn't understand fully that it had a bad effect..to her it was a game. yay, I can open this cup, wet stuff comes out.It was fun to watch and do. And she could do it all by herself.
And of course we all know that children no matter at what age do not like to hear the "no" word.
My little one has episodes where she will totally ignore you until she is ready to look at you. I find it is much more effective to get her attention if I decide to whisper..instead of raising my voice.
She then has to stop the crying/pouting and listen closely.
It does work.
I don't have all the answers. I just hope that you can find a bit of peace in the situation and know that every day is a new day and your child is very special and will outgrow these little rough patches.
Best of wishes to you.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
 |
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 04:48:39 AM
|
Oh Bobbi,
I am so sorry! I know it is so very frustrating, and you are a good mother I am sure so please dont ever think or feel that way. And as far as you being honest about the situation, that does not ever make you a bad mother, it means you are a brave and great one to reach out to friends for help in a time when it is so overwhelming! I admire your honesty and love for your little one!!!
Honestly, some grow out of it and some do not. They may stop screaming and throwing themselves about but learn other inappropriate ways to get what they desire, which isn't the best either. And yes they totally understand!!! Once they cry when you say "no" in a calm and kind manner...they know!!! Which is MUCH younger then most want to believe! It is not easy, but the ONLY thing that works is consistancy which is not easy at all!!! It means making sure she NEVER benefits from her fits in any way shape or form. This takes a LOT of time and energy and focus to make sure you never slip. The good news is that after a bit she will relearn how to manage herself and go about getting the things she wants properly and accepting what she can not have within better outlets. Spanking is not nessary to do this, though I am not saying you should or should not, I feel that is a very personal choice, but it can be done totally without it, if that is your desire.
What you need to do is first make sure there is consistancy at all times because once you give in you are starting another war! Then you need to find ways for her to have consquenses for every mis behavior that are age appropriate and are not pleasurable for her in any way. When you do time out, where is it? If it is in her room or some place where she can watch the world go by or see the TV etc..it is NOT any kind of punishment. She needs to be someplace where it is not fun and she doesn't want to be there. You need to also make sure that the time out does not start until she is sitting where she is supposed to be on her own quietly (which does not mean quiet crying, but no screaming whining bad mouthing etc) for 2 mins after which you must then initiate a conversation and appology time where you discuss what and why and what she should have done (they can not learn until they are told the appropriate way to deal with frustrations) and why she should be sorry and that you would appriciate an appology so you know she will try harder and understands that it was not ok to do what she did. And then go about life with a clean slate and never bring up that specific thing again so she learns the meaning of appologizing and being forgiven. In cases where she is purposly distroying or useing things in a wrong way (ie she knows juice does not belong on your computer and IF she just wanted to try her new ability she would have at least tried to do it in the sink or bathtub or tolet, places where she has seen you or others pour out things...not on a computer!). So in these cases I would take something from her that she really loves, in addition to a time out to think about what she did, for a period of time and explain that she decided to hurt mommy's xyz so she must learn to be nice to things so you will hold _____ so she can think about how it makes others feel to loose or possibly loose something that is thiers and is special to them. With little ones it is so important to always be firm, loving, kind, and explaine everything and above all teach empathy. The world revolves around them when they are little out of necessity, but as they grow they need to understand that everyone has feelings and needs just like they do and that if they would like others to consider their feelings, it is only fair that they consider other's.And belive me a two year old is not to young to get this!! With the mothers I help, I most often get children who are 1-3, whos mothers believe they understand and everyone tells them the kid can't possibly understand because they are so little etc. So my first task always is proving to the mom how obvious it is that they DO understand. I work with both fully functioning and handicapped children...have not found one yet that did not understand!!
The good news is you CAN change this!! The hard part is the time and constant vigilance this takes. I think you are a good mother and hope you are able to work this out, but if not, please know that their are so many other parents who deal with the same thing you do and it does not make you a bad mother...just a real one!!!!! I am more then happy to help any way I can and hope this was of some help to you!
Hugz Always!!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9093 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9093 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 05:31:39 AM
|
I have seen this in children. She is only two. If she were older I think this would require some outside help. The one thing I can suggest is when she throws one of her fits, as long as she isn;t going to hurt herself, walk away or leave the room, do not talk to her. The whole reason for her behavior is for attention or to get what she wants. When she wants something and behaves properly give big hugs and praise for good behavior. Good luck, thoses little ones can wear you out. my youngest used to hold her breath and faint, she quit doing this at about three.
NANCY JO
|
|
|
|
marisa
Farmgirl in Training
15 Posts
marisa
fort worth
texas
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 12:07:36 PM
|
| It's totally her personality and she needs some firm, non-nonsense consistency. My middle child is a rager and needs more attention than any of them. I have to be a little more cuddly with him, but also a little more tough love. It takes a long time to see results, but stick with it! |
|
|
|
Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 12:35:06 PM
|
I agree with all of what the gals above said. She is for sure old enough, at two, to understand. Consistant, loving but firm direction and a little tough love will go a long way. Some kids are way more willful than others. Hang in there!!!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
|
|
|
therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 3:27:19 PM
|
Amen to everything that everyone else said. Consistency is the key. Your husband needs to back you up in the discipline. Your little one needs to know that mommy and daddy are on the same track -- that way she won't play you against each other. And at 2 they certainly are old enough to know how to do that.
Sometimes spanking doesn't work for a child. I could spank my daughter all day long (which I didn't do -- just a figure of speech) and it didn't do any good. But if I stood her in the corner it just killed her. I would not let her turn around and look at anyone -- she had to stand with her nose in the corner. One time she turned around and said to me "Please just spank me and get it over with. I can't take this anymore." It was all I could do to keep a straight face.
Figure out what kind of discipline works for your daughter and then use that. My daughter used to whine when she wanted things. I finally told her that until she asked without whining I was not getting what she wanted. If your daughter screams for her juice then tell her that she has to ask in a nice voice. And when she does she will get the juice. If she doesn't then she doesn't get any. It will be a battle of the wills for a while but she will learn.
If there is a place in your home that you could designate for time out -- not her bedroom -- I would suggest trying that. When she throws a screaming fit then take her to that place and make her stay there -- one minute for each year in age. That way she can scream all she wants but you will be away from her and she won't get your attention. Do not feed into her temper tantrums. This is hard to do because they drive you nuts after a while but just be strong. You have to show her you are the parent -- not the other way around.
Visit my blog at http://rusticcottage.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - therusticcottage on Jul 29 2006 3:32:46 PM |
|
|
|
theoanne
True Blue Farmgirl
282 Posts
teddie
CARROLLTON
GA
282 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 5:06:00 PM
|
Bobbi,
First of all...BREATHE. I had 4 sons. Number one was and still is easy-going and calm. No 2 was just like your number 2 I'm with everyone else. Just be consistant. My rager needed to know he would get the same punishment every time. We spanked,but this did not work as well as time out. I believe the rule is one minute for each year of age. Or... until they quit screaming!!!! Time outs some times included me sitting him in timeout with my leg across his lap to hold him in time out until the time was up. He would eventually calm and at some point he realized when I said to go to time out he had to sit there! However he would usually get up and go do whatever the bad behovior was again and again which resulted in him returning to time out again and again. He would get up from time out and go back to doing the bad behavior and call out to me.." Mommy look I'm doing ----(insert bad behavior here)" Then I'd put him back in time out again. sometimes this would go on repeatededly for 4-5 times. Now you may think he was not catching on,but that was not true. as he got a little older I asked him why he would do this and he said he wanted to see if I would send him to time out again. He was waiting for me to give in. Well he inherited his stubborness from me so I always dragged him back to time out!
This was pretty much his personality of stubborness for many years. With much consistancy his rages spead out from year to year. I'm glad to announce he is now a wonderful 26 yr old with a great job. He is a very loving and giving person who loves to help people.He'd the first to drpo what he's doing to help MOm or his brothers. His stubborness has served him well as he has always been stubborn enough to do his best to excel at what he does.
I know right now it seems like this will never end. Don't expect her to ever act like your other child as they are individuals and probably will always be as different as day and night. praising her for little things will help her and you feel better. I remember thinking I was the worst mother in the world. Make sure you get some time out too. Quiet time each day you can look forward too. My sons are 21-28 and I think 2yrs was my least favorite age.
It's all worth it honest!!! Don't give up! Teddie
P.s My 3rd and 4th child were relatively easy. After that 2nd one I was ready for almost any thing!:) |
|
|
|
sleepless reader
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
CA
USA
1022 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 7:05:08 PM
|
I agree with the others. Firm, fair and consistant are the best things you can be. Two isn't so different from 17...they want to do it all, they know it all and they'll try your every bit of patience to get what they want! At 17 they just have a larger (though not necessarily better) vocabulary :)
Now, about your laptop. If you paid by credit card, your company may cover such an accident. Worth a try!
Good luck, Sharon
Life is messy. Wear your apron! |
|
|
|
quilt8305
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Mary
Spokane
WA
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2006 : 7:13:57 PM
|
It sounds like she has graduated from the sippy cup. Give her a real glass (plastic) and explain that she is old enough for a 'real grownup glass' and if she wants to drink out of it she must not pour it out. If she pours it out - refill it on your own time and try to turn a deaf ear to the hysterics. I realize this is a possible solution to only one thing, but maybe she is trying to feel older and not be 'the baby' so recognizing this might help.
Mary
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding. Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2006 : 8:52:27 PM
|
Petal Soft
Silky Smooth
Very Small
Filled With Rage
Flailing Thrusting Falling
Screaming Seething Smelter
Is a Bee Of Activity
Knows What She Wants Hates What She Needs
Little Larva Longs To Fly
Frustrated Wingless Thing
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2006 : 11:38:08 PM
|
Bobbi, How sweet and neat that you have put it into words!! Well done!
Hang in there!!!
Hugz!!
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
|
|
|
BStein
True Blue Farmgirl
75 Posts
Barbara
Westerville
OH
75 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2006 : 07:06:31 AM
|
Is your little dolly a talker yet? Some children become so frustrated by their inability to communicate that they scream and act out. None of my four were like that, but I have studied American Sign Language some and know that many preschools/day cares and speech pathologists use ASL to help get through the terrible twos. I found a sign language DVD series with my 4 yo who loves to learn sign. It is called Signing Time and it's a series of 10 or so DVDs designed for young (2 or so and up) children who are developing normally, but can't communicate perfectly yet. It's ideal to teach a toddler signs like "drink" or "eat" or "more." Just basic signs if your child can't say the word they can sign it. We got it from the library. I used to think using sign would delay language, but I really think it would help if a child just can't get the words out. There is also a link for learning sign online http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm
Barbara |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2006 : 2:22:10 PM
|
Thanks for the tip Barbara. She is talking enough that I can understand her but most of the rest of the world can't. She does sign the word more when she wants more of anything be it more time at the park or more food, and she can say milk now so she doesn't use that sign so much anymore.
My neighbor downstairs has had enough of it apparently because she had 2 police officers at my front door this morning after Halsey threw a fit over me not giving her more yogurt when she threw her current dish of it across the kitchen. All I actually did when she threw her fit was turn her chair and her booster around so she wasn't facing the table, and told her that when she could calm herself down she could turn around and be with the rest of us. So of course she started crying and kicking and wasn't calming down.. I know it didn't last that long but they showed up while she was in the midst of it.
There were two cops, a man and a woman who stopped by and they saw that everything was ok, and what was actually going on so they told me not to worry about it, she even said "I have kids too I know how it can be." but just having them in here checking things out was enough to get me to tear up.. I'm so frustrated, and really embarrassed. All my neighbors must think I'm abusing her or something.
We gave our notice today that we will be leaving as soon as our lease is up in September because for one thing it's not fair to make other people listen to her wailing.. I swear she sounds like a cat being tortured.. and for another, I really don't like the idea of the authorities showing up each time she doesn't get her way.. as if there isn't enough pressure on me already to get this girl to calm down, now I have to worry about that!
I have asked her Doctor at her last appointment if there were any signs of anything I should be aware of that would cause all this acting out and they said that she just had a temper and to do most of the things I am already doing.
Thank you all for your tips.. still not entirely sure what to do about this, I never EVER thought I would see myself in this situation. I took parenting classes back when I was pregnant, I have read tons of books, and after Kaylee has turned out to be such a fun happy little thing, I really thought I had my stuff together with all this...
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
quilt8305
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Mary
Spokane
WA
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2006 : 11:47:08 AM
|
Bobbi,
I would have her hearing checked if you haven't already. And then a thorough medical checkup just to rule out anything physiological or chemical in the way of imbalances. It never hurts to know where you are starting from. I feel for you.
Mary
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding. Albert Einstein |
|
|
|
YiberryYadeeKarin
True Blue Farmgirl
343 Posts
Karin
Spokane Valley
WA
USA
343 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2006 : 12:09:19 PM
|
Bobbi,
Is this my little pal, Halsey?
Sorry you're going through this. REALLY sorry about the new lap top (sigh).
I don't have any advise for you like the other ladies. But I'll send good thoughts your way!
Karin
P.S. Thanks for the mail art awhile back, btw. And how is life in Montana? (I drive past the street to your old house quite often, when I'm in no mood to take the interstate home. I always think of you!) |
|
|
|
marisa
Farmgirl in Training
15 Posts
marisa
fort worth
texas
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2006 : 12:11:26 PM
|
i can totally relate on the authorities showing up...i was living in an apt complex a month or so ago while we were closing on our house. the daily screaming probably drove my neighbors crazy, and i lived in constant fear of CPS showing up at my door!! (and his penchant for running around with no shorts on after going potty didn't help my case either, LOL!)
doesn't it drive you nuts that you really are such a good parent and you try so hard, but because of your child's temper people look down on you!?! |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2006 : 1:32:12 PM
|
Yes Karin it IS Halsey, and aside from the lady downstairs that hates my guts, we like Montana very much!
And yes Marisa it IS crazy making.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 06:58:51 AM
|
Bobbi~
I think I may be able to help out....But first I need some more info.
How does she sleep at night? Does she go down easily? Does she sleep thru the night w/o waking?
Does she seem better or worse at certain times of the day?
Does she have a harder day after eating alot of one food?
How is her digestion? Is she constipated? Have runny poop?
Does she act this way around Dad or other caregivers? How about grandparents?
Does she make eye contact when you talk to her? (this is a big deal when you aren't mad and when you are disciplining)
How does she interact with other kids? Is she passive and allow other kids to steal toys? Does she pick a fight?
I had so much trouble with 2 of my 4 kids, and it wasn't until I kept a detailed journal that I was able to track down some pretty serious food allergies/reactions. Julia, who is now 8, was sometimes so sweet and lovable...and sometimes it was like she was possessed, seriously! She would push her cousin who is just 1 year younger down, she would have fits that would last 15 minutes or more, she would bite. Other times she would get so hyper, she just couldn't focus. During preschool she would pretend to be a dog and roll around on the floor, barking and wagging her tongue! The teacher asked if we had thought about medication! I went home and cried and cried...I am a good Mama, I spend alot of time with my kids! I felt that the teacher was implying that I was doing something wrong and that medication would fix it!! My Dr. recommended I keep a detailed journal to help track down "triggers" for our tough behavior...This is what I kept track of
1. Wake up time & how much sleep she had that night.
2. How she acts first thing whiny/happy/angry/cuddly etc...
3. Write down EVERYTHING she eats, and see if you find a trend.. for instance: when Julia eats red food dye she gets hyper and lacks self control within 30 min...
4. At the end of the day take a few minutes to sum up the day. This is how mine would go: Morning was nice and quiet, spend some time reading, big fit about going to the park as it was too rainy. Good interaction with her sisters, angry around dinner time. etc...
Tracking down my girls' food intolerances/allergies has made a 100% difference!! This might not solve all of your problems, but it is worth a try!
You can get in touch with me if you like...I will send you an email with all that info...
I will help you and soon you will see the sweet, mild little girl who is hiding inside Halsey.....we don't spend a bunch of money on counseling, drs appointments, and thank God we've never had to medicate our kids since we cleaned up our diets. The biggest offenders for most kids are food dyes and preservatives. We avoid those like the plague! Chloe, who is 3, is also allergic to milk. I feel like it is the best place to start.
It's going to be fine, I will help you all I can!
Love
Kate |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 08:23:35 AM
|
How does she sleep at night? Does she go down easily? Does she sleep thru the night w/o waking?
She never goes down very well at night, but she and her sister share a bedroom, so they usually want to stay up and play, but when they are seperated they go to bed pretty well.
Does she seem better or worse at certain times of the day?
We usually have a fight at every meal time, breakfast in particular, Nearly every thing she gets awful about is either related to food, running off when she isn't supposed to (towards the street, in a store etc.) and fighting with her sister over toys..
Does she have a harder day after eating alot of one food?
Nothing that I can pick out too easily... but I know that if she has sugar she crashes HARD afterwards.. much like her dad.
How is her digestion? Is she constipated? Have runny poop?
She gets the runs VERY easily, especially after fruit, one sippy of apple joice is enough to cause a very loose stool for at least a day, and other fruits like citrus and grapes do about the same unless I serve it with cottage cheese or cream cheese to firm things up. .. most fiberous foods do it too.. rye crisps, oatmeal, unless the bread is very floury/white style bread we get runny again. I know thats what it is supposed to do, but with her it becomes really watery, to the point hat we have diaper blow out from time to time even at nearly 2. I haven't even concidered potty training yet because she obviously has little control over it still.
Does she act this way around Dad or other caregivers? How about grandparents?
She isn't very descriminating about who she throws a fit with, she throws more fits with me than anyone else, but she is also with me more. In a new environment she is distracted enough that she is a little less prone to them, but if her sister is there too, she often feels comfortable enough to let it fly no matter who is with her, and no matter who she is with, when food comes into play all bets are usually off, and she expects her sippy cup to never be empty.. we get more fits at one grandmas house than the other because she gives treats and ice cream and sweet drinks on demand, so as soon as she runs out of something unless she is gorged, she is going to have a fit until she gets to that point.
Does she make eye contact when you talk to her? (this is a big deal when you aren't mad and when you are disciplining) she will look at me and then look away a lot, and when I am down on her level and she knows she is in trouble, if I want to look her in the eyes I have to hold her chin to do it. If we are just talking and snuggling in the morning she looks in your eyes and talks like a little angel, but if she knows she is doing something she shouldn't it is really hard to get eye contact.
How does she interact with other kids? Is she passive and allow other kids to steal toys? Does she pick a fight?
With kids she doesn't know she is very respectful of their things, and very willing to give things back if asked.. unless they are eating something that she doesn't get to have.. that always sets her off, but with her sister she purposfully antagonizes her by taking whatever she shows the most interest in food toys, or even her shoes.
I am already tracking activities on a time schedule, and doing meal planning, so I don't think it would be much harder to scribble in what they eat and when at the same time.
Halsey has always had food problems. From the time she was born until we got her on special formula, she had problems with really bad reflux and watery explosive poop. I couldn't nurse her unless I wittled my diet down to bread and water, which I did for a while with a multi vitamin, but even that had pretty mixed results, as soon as she got teeth, I could tell pretty easy when the reflux was about to come because she would bite down and draw blood... thats when we decided enough was enough and did the special reflux formula.. before that if she was laying down as infants often do, she would have it coming out her nose and gagging practically drowing in it, so we had to always have her propped at an extreme angle to even sleep, and even then her sleep was only in about 15 to 30 minute increments until she was about 7 months and didn't start sleeping through the night until she was on all solid food.. even the mushy baby food much came back up. It wasn't until we got into cheeses and breads and cerials into the mix that she could hold it down. The cheeses help with the watery poop a lot.
She also refuses to eat meat in nearly any form. tuna salad, chicken nuggets, chicken salad... I can usually get a little nibble out of her before she spits it out and just plays with it, soft lunch meats, or anything, she will eat the breading off of a corn dog and just mutilate the hot dog, so even typical kid type meats are out, she gets most of her protien from eggs, her vitamin and cheeses...
The doctors didn't act like it was a big deal as long as she was putting on weight, they still don't, I just had her checked out a month ago. We got on wic at the time we needed the special formula because it was pretty expensive, and after talking to the dieticians there, they also feel that as long as she is gaining weight she is ok, but they have tested her and found that she is also slightly anemic. We started a multi vitamin and that has helped with that part of it. Aside from being cranky and preferring screaming to talking, she is meeting all the milestones at the right time, the talking ones are about on schedule, and the physical ones have all come very early. She knows a little sign language because she does so well with physical things. She was actually walking at 8 months which is super early.. she never really crawled, the hands and knees position made her pukey too.
Anyway, with my first post those are the things I was referring to when mentioning that she had a really rough start. We have always been aware that food is a big thing with her, but haven't been sure where to go with that.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 08:29:23 AM
|
I should also add, she never pukes anymore.. when she is sick she usually gets diarreah instead of throwing up. I don't think she has thrown up at all since she was about 8 or 9 months, around the time she was walking, she lays down on her back to sleep now and, while she does toss and turn more than her sister, she never throws up and now hates to be at an angle.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 08:39:50 AM
|
I have alot of food allergies/sensitivities and sadly my girls have inherited them from me....This is something that most pediatricians know very little about. My dr. seemed to be more willing to push drugs than to explore the food allergy options...So, I found a ped. who would. I am so grateful I did because my girls did a complete turn around when we eliminated the trigger foods. It was so wonderful, because I KNEW that my sweet, loving little girl was in there somewhere, and when her body was free of the offending foods she came out of hiding!
Bobbi,
Which formula was she on? Nutramagen? Alumentum? How did she do on those?
When did you start her on dairy?
Does she have ezcema or skin rashes/dryness?
What are her favorite foods?
I will help, we can get to the bottom of this!
Love
Kate |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 10:15:54 AM
|
She was on Emfamil AR (Acid Reflux) She threw up the Nutramagen and I've never heard of Alumentum. We started her on Dairy around her first birthday, a little late but I had visions of the whole thing starting over again, but suprisingly to everyone she did just fine with plain milk, I was sure we would have to go with soy, weirdest thing too because the first thing I had to eliminate from MY diet when nursing was the milk. She has never had any skin sensitivities ever. Her favorite foods are: teddy grahams, (I don't buy them but she goes nuts over them at grandmas house) any kind of sweet thing.. she is a real sugar bee. peanut butter, Jelly, any and all bread products, particularly if there is a sweet flavor to it. She loves cooked aspearagus, and raw broccoli, pineapple, cream cheese, cottage cheese, cheddar cheese, string cheese, eggs, cerial, bananas, loves most fruit, but they react so badly with her that I try to moniter it a little, raisins, macaroni and cheese.. nearly any kind of a noodle as long as it isn't in tomato sauce... hates all things tomato. My girls ped had me giving her droppers of Mylanta and Zantac for a while but while it helped the throwing up a little it made the diarreah even worse to the point that she had a wicked ulcer down there, so we went off that stuff and I haven't used drugs on her since, she hasn't even needed antibiotics for anything yet which is also a suprise to me.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 11:45:02 AM
|
I am thinking since she did well on the Enfamil AR, which is a dairy based formula, and she did well with milk at 1, it probably isn't a dairy intolerance.
My first guess would be sugar, particularly corn syrup. Which, by the way, is in EVERYTHING sweet. Keep track of this in your food journal. The next suspect is food dyes.
Did you know that they are illegal in Europe and Australia? Because of the cancer risk, and also because they are a huge contributor to ADD ADHD and behavior problems.
After keeping a food & behavior journal for a day or two, or even a week, I would then cut out food dyes and corn syrup. When I did this with Julia I noticed HUGE improvements in just a couple days. Some say it takes a full two weeks.
Julia's sensitivies are just the dye and corn syrup/sugar.
Chloe has those plus a cow's milk allergy. It is tough, I have to religiously read labels, but it worth it!!
I would definately give it a try.
Kate
ps I sent you and email, feel free to call or write if you need some support! |
|
|
|
Whimsy_girl
True Blue Farmgirl
576 Posts
USA
576 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2006 : 7:22:31 PM
|
I kept that in mind all day and I noticed, we had a great day today, then we went to grandmas house where she let her have some lemon drop type candy things, she conked out on the ride home, we got home and she wouldn't eat her dinner threw it across the room as she is prone to doing, had a screaming fit in the bath when I tried to wash her hair, and is in fact howling in her room as I type. I will keep the sugar thing in mind going forward and yes I saw your e-mail. I'll start writing you there as things go on.
you can be oh so smart, or you can be oh so positive. I wasted a lot of time being smart I prefer being positive. |
|
|
|
blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - Aug 23 2006 : 11:27:20 AM
|
Bobbi,
I think Kate is spot on. The food dyes and corn syrup/sugars are so bad for us and some kids are just hyper sensitive to them. Now the thing is -- to get Granny to stop. That's gonna be a tough one.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
|
|
|
Parenting & Farm Kids: raising cain.. I mean kids |
|
|
|
raising cain.. I mean kids
