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A Farm of My Own:  Homesteading without a partner?  |
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BuckBellHill
Farmgirl in Training
32 Posts
Fern
Belfast
Tennessee
USA
32 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 6:56:16 PM
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Hi Moon and others: I'm not exactly a homesteader, or even an official farmer yet, but I'm holding together my 45 acres by myself. I just bought my grandparents' homeplace a year ago and had the house renovated. It takes my entire paycheck just to keep my head above water, but it's worth it. Some things have to go without doing right now, but I just take it one project at a time. I only hire someone if it's critical. I ask my neighbors for referrals for people who do certain things like dragging ponds or cutting downed trees. I'm looking for a "handyman" who is afforable, reliable and will teach me how to do things and I'm working handywork into my small budget. It is overwhelming at times, but it would probably be overwhelming even if I had a partner! I do get frustrated sometimes because I'm not physically able to do some of the things I want to do, but I don't let it deter me from the dream...maybe next summer I'll have some money saved and can till up some land for a garden. Anyway, I just wanted to share with other women doing it "alone." Oddly, I never feel alone. There are plenty of deer and other critters running around, including a few wolves, that remind me daily that I am not alone!
Fern at Buck Bell Hill |
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grammy-o
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Lisa
Greenville
WI
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 12:05:18 PM
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Fern: Does your house remind you of the movie "Money Pit" like mine? I wouldn't get rid of it but there are times when I feel if I won the lottery, the multi-millions would all go into that 150 year old house and it still wouldn't have a "sqaure" corner or a "plumb" wall....
Let's keep FARM LAND as FARM LAND! |
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BuckBellHill
Farmgirl in Training
32 Posts
Fern
Belfast
Tennessee
USA
32 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 12:12:25 PM
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Yes, Lisa, it is a money pit! My Aunt Sarah lived in this house for every one of her 92 years. She was a wealthy woman, but had no need for upgrades...no air conditioning, no heating, funky vinyl over hardwoods, rattling windows, no insulation, the list goes on....I keep thinking that if she did it, so can I (except the air conditioning part!) I try to make a list of the things that have to be done versus things I want done and this keeps the list manageable...But, I cannot imagine living anywhere else!
Fern |
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atwell
True Blue Farmgirl
88 Posts
susan
Laporte
IN
USA
88 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2005 : 12:19:20 PM
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Solo farmgirls!!!!
bonnets off to all y'all!!!! I am very impressed by everyones stories!!!I too started off alone( well,the adult male and son
that started off living here did not contribute; duo were a huge source of aggravation and in no way cost effective)It was very hard
but I took great pride and satisfaction in the fact that I could and did push-mow my front yard when no one else would,fixed the dixon mower when the chain fell off... Small stuff I know!After the infamous duo were given the boot,My friends( working with in the big city) encouraged me to sell my farm when things got financially rough. My mortgage was less than rent in the big city!and about the same RENT for anything else decent in my area!! I was not going to give up without a fight. so, I took to dragging fresh flowers into my work building in the big city for a few showrooms to make a couple extra $.JUst when I really had resigned myself to living this farm life alone, I meet a great guy who helps with all kinds of stuff
and makes my life so much less of a struggle..Talk about VALUE ADDED!! anyway I just wanted to say I admire all of your gumption and independent pioneering spirit!! I too have thought of a retirement home of sorts here on my 7 acres when we are too old,alone and feeble to do it farmgirl style independently.My idea was for mostly quilters but I think it could be open to farmgirls too. We could sell our quilts,etc, produce,baked goods,herbs,and flowers.Maybe hire some young goodlooking ag interns/apprentices to help us along the way    .Keep it in mind ladies..I dont want my small parcel of earth turning into another subdivision/development nightmare. Kind of like the "Golden Girls Retire Down on the Farm!"Stay Strong Ladies!!
susan
FatQuarterQuiltFarm
Long Arm Machine
Quilting ~and~
Fabric Flea Market |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2005 : 1:22:06 PM
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It's so encouraging to know there are women out there who have and are managing a farm by themselves. I've always done a lot of remodeling and can do a LOT of things, like framing and fixing rooftops and making fences and cabinets and whatnot. I very much know the frustration of the limits of our strength! Watching my husband frame a wall on the floor, then easily lift it up and hammer it in place is just jaw-dropping and totally unfair!
But, with those limits, I remember something my dad told me once: work smarter, not harder. He meant it for something else, but I realize if I think about better leverage, or a way to roll something heavy across the floor rather than slowly inch it along, I can do it. So what if it takes me nearly twice as long to install a window, or rip up a floor? |
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jlm341
Farmgirl at Heart
3 Posts
Jackie
Red Lion
PA
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2005 : 04:54:06 AM
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Hi All:
I find you all so inspiring! My great grandparents were true farmers and my grandparents left the farm before I came along, but they always kept a truck patch and cattle. They instilled in me a great appreciation for the farm and the hard work that goes with. My life took another path - the high tech one. Luckily, I've always been a do-it-yourself-er.
I spent 20 yrs in a marriage and am now doing "it" alone. I bought a fixer-upper house and threw myself into that over the last 2.5 yrs as theapy. I've learned alot doing it all myself. And the fact that I just can't manuever a 4x8 sheet of drywall by myself is a real downer! Well, the house is almost done - 1 project to go and then I can sell it - that was the original plan.
So now I'm ready to move on. I seem to be pulled toward the idea of the farm. Then I came across Mary Jane's magazine a few months back and I had my "aha" moment. I love gardening and livestock, but have reservations about doing it on my own. This past week I came across 32 acres for sale. It's currently a horse farm. And I can't get it out of my head. I need to "belong" again and maybe this would be a great place for that.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and stories.
jackie |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2005 : 11:03:37 AM
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lol - Jackie I tried every which way I could come up with, but I can't handle a 4x8 sheet of drywall myself either! Yet my husband can handle a 4x12 by himself! It is so unfair...
You can do it! After many remodeling jobs you do feel more sure of what you can handle, and more willing to try anything.
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CathyM
True Blue Farmgirl
344 Posts
Cathy
Tulsa
OK
USA
344 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2005 : 1:09:28 PM
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I love the whole communal/co-op idea, having like minded people around supporting each other Isn't that what life is supposed to be like: friends and neighbors helping in one way or another? A huge common kitchen and "Family" room to have get together's in, Garden, etc. What a glorious thought. Just have to find enough people in my area that would be willing to do it.
Cathy |
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CathyM
True Blue Farmgirl
344 Posts
Cathy
Tulsa
OK
USA
344 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2005 : 1:27:57 PM
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I just found the book on Amazon.com usedfor under $4.00. Yes! I ordered it, can't wait to get it. Thank You for the suggestion LeslieAnne.
Cathy
quote:
Originally posted by LeslieAnne
Hi Moon & all... I am immediately reminded of a book I devoured over & over again back in the 70s & 80s... Country Women: A Handbook for the New Farmer, by Sherry Thomas... it's a wonderful book about women making it at homesteading on their own... it's out of print now, but you can find used copies online... I must relocate my copy...
LeslieAnne...westTexas
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Kathigene
True Blue Farmgirl
160 Posts
Kathy
New York
160 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2005 : 4:21:36 PM
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Hi, I am single and I don't expect it to change any time soon but at the same time I don't expect to truly farm either due to health considerations. But if you want to read something about a woman who did it on her own try Sylvia's Farm:The Journal of an Improbable Sheperd by Sylvia Jorrin. I really enjoyed the book and it fully confirmed my belief that I did not have what it takes to farm. I know I could not handle the work and cold that she dealt with. This would be a great book for someone who has a romantic idea that farming is all daisies and fluffy lambs. I believe there has been a long discussion about this book in a different forum.
Kathy
Dogs make such good friends because they wag their tails rather then their tongues. |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Aug 25 2005 : 08:47:21 AM
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I am currently reading this, it's very good!
farmgirl@heart
Be at peace with yourself and the rest will follow |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2005 : 2:54:08 PM
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| I haven't seen this issue addressed here. Maybe I'm chicken, but to all the single women living alone on a sizable piece of land, do you feel safe there alone? I'm living in a subdivision right now with thoughts of selling my home and moving up north on my own country acreage. I live in a safe neighborhood and wonder about my safety on an isolated property. You just can't be too sure these days. |
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connio
True Blue Farmgirl
535 Posts
connie
springtown
texas
USA
535 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2005 : 3:40:02 PM
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Hey Farm Girls!
I lived in Dallas for 23 years and worked for the public library there. I was caught in gunfire (was unharmed) twice, was stalked for 2 years by a neighbor (in a very nice upscale neighborhood), had a neighbor who was a "peeper and exhibitionist" and could not even have scissors at the front desks in the libraries out of fear that someone would take them away and "use" them on us!
I now live out in the country by myself about 85 miles from Dallas and love it. I also no longer work in the Dallas library--thank goodness. I feel completely safe. It is quiet and calm and wonderful.
I would suggest getting a couple of dogs. I have a dozen large dogs; they are great companions and make me feel very safe.
Connie
cozycottage |
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realme52
True Blue Farmgirl
106 Posts
Klara
Gatesville
Texas
USA
106 Posts |
Posted - Aug 26 2005 : 5:11:55 PM
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Just wanted to thank LeslieAnne for the recommendation of "Country Women"! I ordered a used copy for $7 and it arrived today. Looks like a great investment. It reminds me of the John Seymour books. Does anyone remember those? They were a big 70's thing, also, and I still like them a lot (mainly for inspirational purposes).
From this hour on I ordain myself loss'd of limits and immaginary lines. Walt Whitman |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 10:47:27 AM
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| Thanks Connie, I've never been much of a dog person, but that would probably be the way to go. What breed of dogs makes a good outdoor watch dog? Jan |
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MeadowLark
True Blue Farmgirl
2206 Posts
USA
2206 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 11:56:35 AM
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Hi Jan, I can relate to what you are saying...I feel like I have lived alone in the country now for over 20 years since my husband travels a tremendous amount. Dogs do make a tremendous difference. I have had Labrador Retrievers and they are wonderful watch dogs. My current nuetered male is surprisingly aggresive when anything is amiss. He is always on patrol day and night and barks and growls if he picks up anything wrong, or if anyone enters the property he does not know, including mail, UPS or meter readers. The Lab breed is general gentle and playful, devoted to please their families and gentle with children. Remember that all dogs have different personalities, just like people. But breeds do have general characteristics. Guard dogs are generally, German Shepards, Rotweilers, Doberman Pinchers. We felt these to be too aggresive for our family, since we have had small children and other children playing here. We trust our Lab with children. But he is still a large dog and I would never leave toddlers or very small children alone with him. He can play roughly.
Being is what it is. Jean Paul Sartre |
Edited by - MeadowLark on Aug 27 2005 11:58:07 AM |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2005 : 3:03:18 PM
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| Meadowlark, Come to think of it my sister has a black lab and he's very affectionate,crawls in her lap! He doesn't realize he's not a lap dog. But he also has a good bark for strangers and squirels. It's hard to think dogs when you're a cat person. Although I've seen some attack cats in my time. At two different places and times I've even been attacked by chickens!! My sister almost died laughing watching that. "When Chickens Attack!" Jan |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2005 : 3:13:43 PM
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Well, I'm a step closer to my dream. I started working with a realtor in the north central part of WI (I'm in the SE area now) today. She's emailing me listings of properties with 5 or so acres. I'll get those chickens yet!!
Jan |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2005 : 6:12:41 PM
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That's great, Jan! We're on the hunt now too for our farm! Congrats! :)
You asked about dogs and dog breeds. I tend to rescue all kinds - they find me. Personally I like bigger dogs and mutts the best. My mutts are always very healthy, they tend to have far fewer health issues than friends of mine who have purebred dogs. Also, dogs on a farm tend to be healthier than their suburban counterparts.
If you've never had a dog before, and do not have a naturally dominant "leader" kind of personality, I wouldn't suggest a Doberman, Rottweiler, German Shepherd, PitBull or Boxer.
However, if you do have a strong personality and don't completely treat the dog like a child, a Boxer, German Shepherd, or Pit Bull will do very well by you. German Shepherds are highly intelligent and you may have a lot of fun teaching one to do all kinds of chores. My Shepherd mix carries in the groceries for me - I hand her a bag, she carries it into the kitchen and holds it until I take it from her. I'm very partial to pitties because I have one and I have done lots of research on these dogs. Don't believe the hype, they're rotten guard dogs if you don't beat them or starve them or keep them tied up all the time - they are a GREAT deterrent because of the hype tho - I have had more questionable looking men move to the other side of the street, or ask in a nervous voice 'Is that a pit bull?' LOL!!! I feel very safe when I walk my girl. :) I don't get that reaction when walking the Shepherd mix. And Boxers - they are bigger than pitties but often mistaken for one - even though as I understand it, they get lazy as they get older.
A Lab is a good choice, I avoid them and golden retrievers because everyone has them, and if you are just wanting to scare people off, they look like nice family dogs. Nearly any dog will do its best to protect you as you are part of the "pack."
A good book to pick up for learning how to train dogs and have very few problems with them is The Dog Listener, by Jan Fennell. She gives incredible insights to dogs and dog behavior and how to understand what their body language is telling you, and yours is telling them.
Hope you find your farm soon! Dogs are great companions when you are alone a lot. Mine are spoiled rotten (they don't eat kibble...) but they let me know when someone pulls into the drive - and door-to-door salesmen really don't bother coming up the rest of the way. I know a lot about dogs and dog behavior, I've worked with abused dogs many a time and gotten them into nice homes so if you have any questions I'll be happy to answer. |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2005 : 1:39:52 PM
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Hi Lynn, Thanks for the info. My biggest problem with dogs is that I don't trust them. I never go up to a dog I don't know and don't even trust the ones I do know. I guess it's all the hype like you say, but the grisly news stories are enough to scare anyone. I want one that would scare away a stranger, but the problem is, it would scare me too! I guess if you start with a puppy, they won't turn on you. If only cats could protect me I'd be fine. But that's kind of hard when they're hiding under the bed because a stranger came in the house.
Jan |
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greyghost
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Lynn
Summerville
Georgia
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2005 : 4:09:06 PM
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I don't go up to a dog I don't know either -- unless his body language is quite welcoming!
You could get a BIG cat!! j/k. So long as you treat a dog right, it will treat you right. Absolutely get a puppy - it'll drive you NUTS for a while - it takes about 2 years for most breeds to settle down and stop being so hyper. OR - there are many foster homes out there where the foster owners train the dogs in basic obedience, housebreaking, etc. All kinds of breeds are available from foster homes - you might be able to put feelers out on forums like www.i-dog.com and get some responses.
I apologize for going off topic - but I would like to add: I could post links ... so many of the news stories are initially reported as pittie attacks turn out to be a lab, or a boxer, or a mutt of some kind. Remember the really bad attack on the child this past spring by two pitties? The paper said the dogs had been loving family members and the child had been raised around them. Um... the police report had a different story. The dogs were intact (not fixed or neutered), the female was in heat, both were skinny and malnourished, both had traces of rat poison in their bodies and had been kept isolated in the basement. Sure they "just turn on you"...
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citygoatlady
True Blue Farmgirl
82 Posts
82 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2005 : 01:13:28 AM
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If you want to go back to homesteading without a partner, my husband told me right from the beginning that he wasn't interested in farming. I did everything myself for the first 11 years, including building a barn and putting up fences, while wearing babies in backpacks. I had never done any of that before. but now I work as a carpenter when I have time, and I teach other women.
He would not even come out and look at the garden, goats having babies, chicks, or other irresistable things going on, although he did like eating the resulting food, a lot. I have always felt appreciative and proud of what I was doing, but towards him I started feeling like the little red hen and that wasn't a good situation for our marriage.
The last 4 years he realized he had better start seeing why other people were so interested in what I was doing, and he has pitched in minimally. The good thing is that nowadays, if I ask him, he will at least say "yes" to helping me, and that really does make things easier. This year he has started offering to help with some things on his own initiative, which is so much better for our marriage.
When I work with contractors who have a full 8 hours a day to work uninterrupted, without carrying a child around, and without having to tend children during work hours, I laugh at how easy they have it. They, on the other hand, they get frustrated when I have to work around my kids schedules, meals, moods, or activities. I think they ought to honor my ability to work fast and steadily in a way that looks piecemeal to them but accomplishes a lot in the end. But, they don't. They see it as a lack of focus instead of understanding how extra focused I have to be to accomplish anything at all outside of directly raising my family.
A woman's way of working is not the same as a man's, in that way. Women know what I am talking about, but most men don't, although I think my husband does understand this. |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2005 : 1:48:36 PM
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| Wow, I really admire what you have done for yourself and your family. It's good to hear that your husband is coming around. He must be very proud of you. It must be frustrating at times to have to handle it all, but isn't it nice to know you can? |
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kelleyg
Farmgirl at Heart
1 Posts
Kelley
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2005 : 10:17:08 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by owwlady
Thanks Connie, I've never been much of a dog person, but that would probably be the way to go. What breed of dogs makes a good outdoor watch dog? Jan
I am brand new to this site, but saw this post and had to reply. Number one, on the topic of homesteading or farming without a partner -- If you have a dream, follow it, but give your dream a chance by truely knowing your abilities and limitations. Also, if you are waiting to find someone with your dream to help you, you will always wait. Your farm can start out by being a frame of mind, learning what skills are needed, and learning them. Maybe by apprenticing or volunteering at a farm that is a style your interested in.
Two, Dogs are OK watchdogs, but if you really fear that someone is going to sneak up on you, get a pair of geese. I know personally as a kid, I could sneak out and back in past the farm dogs, but could never get past the geese. They are territorial and will attack people too. Also, being safe is being proactive, not paranoid. If you are relying on someone else to protect you, you will always play the part of "prey". Think about a flock of sheep with a shepard or dog protecting them. Are you the sheep or are you the shepard?
If you are the sheep, take the steps you need, to become the shepard. |
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owwlady
True Blue Farmgirl
899 Posts
Jan
Tomahawk
WI
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2005 : 11:54:25 AM
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| Kelley, I really liked what you had to say and the geese idea is great! |
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A Farm of My Own: Homesteading without a partner? |
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Homesteading without a partner?
