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A Farm of My Own:  Homesteading without a partner?  |
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Moon
Farmgirl at Heart
5 Posts
Topanga
California
5 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 24 2004 : 11:38:19 AM
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Hi, everybody. You know, I've read so much about homesteading and the type of rural life I know I want, but everything I read is always about a woman and her husband, or a woman and her boyfriend, going out and buying land and setting up a home-based business.
Are there any stories out there about women who did this all by themselves??? I could use some inspiration to make the leap. I haven't been able to find a man (given that I live in a big city) who wants to do it with me.
Moon |
Edited by - Moon on Apr 24 2004 11:46:49 AM |
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cecelia
True Blue Farmgirl
497 Posts
cecelia
new york
USA
497 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2004 : 12:11:14 PM
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Hi Moon & others,
Sorry - I'd like to encourage you to "homestead" by yourself, but I
too was unable for many reasons to make the leap. About 15 years ago
I joined a pen-pal group (no internet then!) with similar men and
women interested in, or already in a rural lifestyle. I still
write to one man and one woman regularly, and visited three others
during the first 2 years of membership. Most of the homesteading
was done by the men, mostly due to financial considerations. My one
pen-pal and I still live in, or near urban areas. Since that time,
I almost moved, but had a number of reasons I couldn't (ill parents,
loss of job, etc.) Since then I married (first time at age 45, 12
years ago and adopted a son from Russia). My husband is not at all
interested in homesteading, etc. but I've adjusted my expectations
and am planning to buy country property in a couple of years. In
the meantime, I work on my "country skills", doing gardening, learning
crafts, etc. I find that financial considerations are what holds
many women back (not just the expense of land/property, but health
insurance, transportation, strength - physical & mental) BUT don't
give up your dream, just learn, and learn to plan for what you want!
Good luck.
ce's farm |
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Wylee33
Farmgirl at Heart
1 Posts
Michelle
Tacoma
WA
1 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2004 : 1:50:34 PM
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Hi Cecelia,
I just came across this website today after seeing an article on Mary Janes Farm in a magazine, and was interested in the pen pal group you mentioned you had belonged to at one time. I live in Western Washington (not too far from Seattle)and since getting divorced a year and a half ago, I've been thinking I might like to live in the Eastern, more rural part of the state. I was wondering if you knew of any internet sites or other types of groups that connect people already living the rural life to those who might be interested in living the rural life. I would imagine there has to be something like that out there for those people living in small isolated towns. I would really be interested in any information that you, or anyone else out there, might have on the subject. Thanks so much!
Michelle
Sorry - I'd like to encourage you to "homestead" by yourself, but I
too was unable for many reasons to make the leap. About 15 years ago
I joined a pen-pal group (no internet then!) with similar men and
women interested in, or already in a rural lifestyle. I still
write to one man and one woman regularly, and visited three others
during the first 2 years of membership. Most of the homesteading
was done by the men, mostly due to financial considerations. My one
pen-pal and I still live in, or near urban areas. Since that time,
I almost moved, but had a number of reasons I couldn't (ill parents,
loss of job, etc.) Since then I married (first time at age 45, 12
years ago and adopted a son from Russia). My husband is not at all
interested in homesteading, etc. but I've adjusted my expectations
and am planning to buy country property in a couple of years. In
the meantime, I work on my "country skills", doing gardening, learning
crafts, etc. I find that financial considerations are what holds
many women back (not just the expense of land/property, but health
insurance, transportation, strength - physical & mental) BUT don't
give up your dream, just learn, and learn to plan for what you want!
Good luck.
ce's farm
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cecelia
True Blue Farmgirl
497 Posts
cecelia
new york
USA
497 Posts |
Posted - May 02 2004 : 09:38:18 AM
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Hi Michelle,
I've just read your reply to my posting on suburban gardening. The pen-pal group I belonged to was disbanded, probably more than 12 years ago, since it was already gone when I got married 11 years ago. The woman who ran it from her home charged something like $20 for you to fill out a questionnaire, then she matched you up with as many similar minded people as she could, and she did this all "by hand" - that is, no computer, just a filing system of sorts. She eventually took ill, and I believe she passed away. Her son was trying to take over, but it didn't pan out. It was all very reliable (as reliable as could be when you write to strangers), and the personal touch was definitely there (not like the Internet where you sometimes don't know who you are corresponding to). I've seen ads in magazines, etc. for similar pen pal groups but most of them are for meeting other singles, for marriage, co-habiting, etc. You just need to be very careful: one of the guys I wrote to lived in my State, I even visited him twice, he seemed OK but he's now in prison for child molestation. I met my husband thru a newspaper ad, but he lived in my town , and he actually worked with my uncle, I later found out. So - you can check out farm/rural magazines, etc. but be careful who you write to and meet. By the way - I live out East, in
the Great Lakes area - I wasn't sure if you thought I meant E. Wash State!
Cecelia
ce's farm |
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Brenda Wheaton
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
Brenda
Chattaroy
WA
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2004 : 12:05:11 PM
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I can relate somewhat to the single farm girl part. My husband is an engineer and usually gone eight months or more out of the year. He also does not do physical labor very well or often :)
I find it surprising what I have learned in the last three years. I always considered myself a country girl and was raised in Western Montana and was in FFA and took vocational agriculture etc. But when we moved here and I was alone for a year to learn how to bring in the hay solo on 50 year old equipment and no money I got educated in a hurry! :)
I also swore I would never run a chainsaw or work on engines...Guess who now brings in at least six cords of wood a year and replaced the water pump in her old farm truck? My fabulous neighbor did help me with the latter. :) I know about 12 ways a baler can break down and can fix maybe 7 of them...I'm learning to weld bit by bit too. It no longer even occurs to me to call a plumber when something breaks and I can dig up a frost free hydrant and replace it in about an hour. :) I'm not bragging, just pointing out that if you dive in and get immersed in the messyness of being self-sufficient (to a point) you can amaze yourself at what you can do if you need to. I castrate baby pigs have pulled four breeched baby goats and even amputated a poor baby goats led successfully because it was do that, or shoot her. Anyway! Jump in and give it your best shot!
The only thing I frequently tell my absentee husband is that I would like him to get me a wife so I can work outside and not have to cook or clean :) |
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Brenda Wheaton
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
Brenda
Chattaroy
WA
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2004 : 12:10:45 PM
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Hi Michelle,
I live on an 80 acre farm in Eastern Washington, mostly without a man :) I mentioned my situation in a differant post. It really does feel good to not NEED a guy around :)
[quote]Originally posted by Wylee33
Hi Cecelia,
I just came across this website today after seeing an article on Mary Janes Farm in a magazine, and was interested in the pen pal group you mentioned you had belonged to at one time. I live in Western Washington (not too far from Seattle)and since getting divorced a year and a half ago, I've been thinking I might like to live in the Eastern, more rural part of the state. I was wondering if you knew of any internet sites or other types of groups that connect people already living the rural life to those who might be interested in living the rural life. I would imagine there has to be something like that out there for those people living in small isolated towns. I would really be interested in any information that you, or anyone else out there, might have on the subject. Thanks so much!
Michelle
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Brenda Wheaton
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
Brenda
Chattaroy
WA
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2004 : 1:51:16 PM
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Hi Clare, and thanks. I live north of Spokane in the Chattaroy area.
quote:
Originally posted by Clare
Brenda, Wenatchee here. Where are you? Sounds like you've gotten your farm girl education reinstated really fast, haven't you? Women can do almost anything.... I do my own plumbing repairs, too. There's a terrific sense of accomplishment that comes with "just doing it", as I was brought up to do on the farm. Welcome to the gang!
Clare
Gardener, Stitcher, Spiritual Explorer and Appreciator of all Things Natural
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Cowgurl
Farmgirl in Training
34 Posts
Robin
middle Tennessee
34 Posts |
Posted - May 16 2004 : 1:08:14 PM
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Wow Brenda, are we married to the same man? LOL My husband is looking forward to living in our little plot of heaven, but he's not much of an outdoorsman, nor does he enjoy physical labor. Thankfully, I do! Sounds like you have really figured things out on your own. That's great.
Robin |
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Lolly
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Lolly
Cameron
TX
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2004 : 2:26:44 PM
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Hello all,
I did take the LEAP! I am single, and have been for quite a while, longed to get out of the big city corporate world, found some land, sold my house and moved. It has been fun, hard, scary, wonderful, financially draining, but..... I'm glad I did it and I LOVE where I am now. I learn something new everyday, whether it be about myself or the land or my animals, but always something new with every day. I have been here full time 15 months and this is my first full season in production of flowers and vegetables that I sell at the farmers market twice a week. It is not the pay equivalent to corporate america but it is so much better and NO STRESS, except which seeds to order, when to plant, how much water, 10" of rain oh no, hail, to mention a few but I can handle that. Any way just wanted to encourage anyone that might be thinking of making the change. I could go on for pages, but I won't tie up the group. Thanks for reading. Lolly |
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Kathy A.
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Kathy
Utah
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2004 : 3:10:47 PM
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| Lolly Welcome! I admire your courage for making this leap!! I have wanted to post for sometime to ask if there are women on this forum who regularly sell at farmers markets. I would like to try it this year, the one in my area is really small, I think I'm going to mostly get ready for next year. How big is your production or "truck Garden"? If you would like will you post about this experience? what are popular items besides the obvious veggies? I am trying to plant lots of strong stem perenial flowers to sell as bouquets, nice bouquets are so cheap at costco is there an interest in pesticide free flower bouquets? I also think Garlic and maybe craft gourds because they do well for me. Is the market you sell at large enough to have food booths espresso stands, craft items? as well as lots of organic fruit and veggies? I hope you post more when you get time. Kathy |
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Lolly
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Lolly
Cameron
TX
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2004 : 6:19:46 PM
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Thanks for the welcome Kathy,
The farmers market here is very, very small. Cameron has a population of +- 5,600. For the first month, April, I was the only one, now there are 3 other participants and I use the word participant loosely. They arrive about 7:30 and leave around 9:30. The "official hours" for the market are 8:00 to 12:00, Tues & Fri. When I first started showing up I came at 9:30 to set up and be ready at 10:00 and I stay until 1:00. Most shoppers commented that my hours were easier for them to shop, ie get kids off to school or get ready and get to work on time or just get up, get dressed and go shop. Our market is on the town square so I get shoppers coming for the market, people on break, and people at lunch and lookers. Enthusiasm was great at first but things have slowed down. But veggies are just coming in so I hope interest will pick up. I sell flower bouquets, vegetables, 4" pots native plants, 4" pots herbs and eggs. Plus I do special flower arrangements, there is only one other florist in town and I've already had several customers). I tried one of the BIG markets in the big city, but the preparation in addition to my 2 markets here, the 1 1/2 one way drive (with the cost of gas sky high) and a space charge of $25 makes me less than eager to go more than once a month. So far the sales haven't been worth all the costs and trouble. But I am going to try it again in June and see how it that goes. And I was indoctrinated quickly about life as a farmer. Last year I had grasshoppers wipe out my flowers that I planted for a wedding and this year I've had hail and 10" of rain in 6 hours! But I keep on going because I love being here and seeing all the beauty. It feels good to work hard, sleep well, eat great food you've grown yourself and have flowers in every room all the time! Plus I get to have coffee and my quiet time with God on my front porch IN MY NIGHTGOWN with no neighbors watching except the bluebirds, finches, cardinals, whistling ducks, hawks, hummingbirds and other fine feathered creatures. AND my grandchildren love visiting me and playing with all my animals. The business is slowly growing and I'll see what the summer brings. Let me know if you have any other questions. What are you doing now for sales? I'm looking for ideas too!
Lolly |
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Kathy A.
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Kathy
Utah
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2004 : 6:12:08 PM
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| Hi Lolly, When I get started at the farmers market I expect it to be really small also, but I feel like you that it is something really important, not just for cash but a sense of community, people and maybe especially children need to realyze that veggies and eggs don't grow at the super market,and that there are Individual people not just corporate farms dedicated to this, people who plant the seeds grow them and come to the market and sell them. Organic is becoming more available but so often it has to be trucked hundreds of miles to get to a market near by. I'm hoping other people appreciate the value of buying FRESH organic and meeting the gardener.I think there should be a farmers market in every community. You have had repeat customers so I know your business is growing, I wish you had a larger group for more support(hang in there it's important.) I've been thinking about sales Ideas besides veggies ---of course there is baked goods I always buy giant cookies. and coffee stands but you know one of the best things I've bought at a farmers market was a *Sushi Roll* made with brown rice and horseradish it was delicious. I like the idea of crafts on the side, ones that are kithcen or garden or farmgirl life oriented like the clothes pin bags, and I really like Clares idea for a *Red Neck Bandana Prayer Flag!* (see the clothesline posts)This banner flag could really attract people to your booth and be great for conversation! also the bandana cooler neck ties for gardeners. Thanks for posting, hope you keep us updated, I will do the same when I finally get going. Kathy |
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Lolly
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Lolly
Cameron
TX
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Jun 05 2004 : 3:39:06 PM
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| Thanks for the pep talk Kathy, it is always helpful to hear one (or see it). Friday was market day and it was slow but still a pretty decent day. I really like your ideas and I am going to try some baked goods and the neck tie. With the 95 degree days already here I think the neck tie might be a great sale. The other good peice of news is I was asked to speak at 2 community business meetings, I did one Friday and the other is later this month. They buy my products to fix for the luncheon and sponsor me as the speaker and it shows support to the local and adds to my sales. I've never been a speaker before so that was new for me. I will defintely hang in there for as long as possible because I can't imagine doing anything other than this now. I will keep you posted and GOOD LUCK to you're enterprise also. When do you think you might get started? Lolly |
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terese
True Blue Farmgirl
63 Posts
terese
chagrinfalls
ohio
USA
63 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2004 : 7:13:07 PM
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To Moon
I am a woman with a husband but, I am truly doing this on my own.
I am plowing the land. Planting the seed . Finding the customers.
I came up with my idea on my own and only have a few good girlfriends to bounce it off of. Today I took A real city girl to look at barns, for my workshop.
I am scared and unsure but, somedays things all seem to fall into place and i think this was a great idea. I am a cut flower farmer. I was a florist for years and then worked on some organic farms had the land and didn't want to be away from home. I also have 4 children. It seems to me the message is to you to move forward. God has planted the seed of idea in you now let it grow. You know what your heart is telling you... |
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cecelia
True Blue Farmgirl
497 Posts
cecelia
new york
USA
497 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2004 : 1:59:26 PM
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Terese (I love that name),
More power to you!!! My husband is not exactly the farming type, much less the homesteader type, but he has been helping me more now that he's been retired; he has his own interests, and they don't mesh with mine, but we seem to get along (sometimes we get along alone, if you know what I mean). So good luck with your workshop, flowers and the land.
Cecelia
ce's farm |
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LeslieAnne
True Blue Farmgirl
71 Posts
LeslieAnne
Shallowater
Texas
USA
71 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2004 : 6:56:26 PM
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Hi Moon & all... I am immediately reminded of a book I devoured over & over again back in the 70s & 80s... Country Women: A Handbook for the New Farmer, by Sherry Thomas... it's a wonderful book about women making it at homesteading on their own... it's out of print now, but you can find used copies online... I must relocate my copy... 
LeslieAnne...westTexas |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2004 : 7:50:46 PM
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I love that one and still have it. I have really love that it shows you how to do things on your own. I am married, but don't always have the extra hands at home when I need help. I have learned alot from that book, and my husband designed the milk stand I use for milking my goat from looking at the one in Country Women.
Jenny in Utah
Bloom where you are planted! |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2004 : 06:10:47 AM
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I really like th idea of a Womens farm, communal type living etc. I live with my boyfriend and we don't have children. I worry about what will happen when I am an old woman with no one else to help me. I keep hoping to run across a communal living type area so I can make plans when I retire.
farmgirl@heart
Longaberger Lover and all things antique |
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MeadowLark
True Blue Farmgirl
2206 Posts
USA
2206 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2004 : 5:59:09 PM
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Hi Kim! Good to connect with a midwesterner... Not sure of your age but there was some brave and bold experiments in communal living in the early 1970's. These baby boomers started agricultural communes in a backlash against what they saw as an unhealthy urban environment to raise and educate their families. They were totally self sufficient and really started the organic movement. Keep the idea going Kim... as the population ages and society shifts the idea of commune living becomes more appealing...educate yourself... I think you are on the right track...it is up to the youth to take the lead on this...I have many single, like minded women friends who think along these lines and they are approaching retirement years. Living a healthy, organic, positive self sufficient life appeals to all...you are very forward thinking!
Time Flies |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2004 : 7:48:27 PM
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Hi, Jenny! I agree. The BF always tells me he's "going to go" before me. Sad but statistically he's probably right. I saw an episode of Healthy Home where they had just the thing. It was communal living with families, singles, etc. Each had there own row house but shared many meals and tasks together. I wish they'd repeat the episode. I'm 42 and it is ever present in the back of mind.
farmgirl@heart
Longaberger Lover and all things antique |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2004 : 9:35:45 PM
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That sounds like the Hutterite people. I read a book about their way of life..very interesting.
Jenny in Utah
Bloom where you are planted! |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2004 : 01:04:45 AM
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hi lolly, where is cameron, texas?
i am on 16 acreas in north texas, just outside of bonham. i have had the farm for about 8 years and have had a slow go at it. at first i was working full time, then i got to "retire" after a heart attack. then there has been various delays with taking care of elderly parents and ill parents and new grandchildren.
my husband is not gung ho farmer, but he does help. he has a full time job and he is supportive of my ideas. he will help with individual projects, but he is not obsessed with this farming idea and he is not naturally a homebody or very domestic at heart.
i was curious about where you lived because parts of our community have been devastated by grasshoppers. if you havent seen the damage they can do it is pretty unbelievable.
we do not have a lot of grasshoppers, but we have a nice little herd of cats, yard cats that people dump on our farm. it has taken us a while to figure out how many we can have cause we really cant rescue every cat that gets let out here.
our farm seems to support about 10 cats. well my point to all this cat talk is that we do not have grasshoppers and i am convinced that the cats keep them under control. we also have goats and chickens. i think the chickens help with this as well, but i dont believe the goats help.
the cats are very quiet, and well behaved, they also have been seen killing snakes. it is alot of fun to watch them teach the little cats to hunt and play in the yard.
i dont know how much land you have but we have learned through trial and error that our farm can support about 10 cats on 16 acres.
when we have more than that they dont enjoy it, and they move on or begin to fight with each other.
i really didnt try to have a cat farm, but it was impossible for me to turn away little stray kittens and cats when they first started showing up. then i discovered that they were actually very helpful with mice, grasshoppers, snakes and the like. they earn their keep and they are great on the farm. we work with the spca on the shots and neutering and they give us a great deal cause they are considered ferral even though they are all very tame. anyway, if you dont have a cat i reccomend it, and free range chickens help out too. frannie
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gardenlady
Farmgirl in Training
10 Posts
Shelly
Oilville
Virginia
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2005 : 12:34:34 PM
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| I have a friend that lives in NY, she lives by herself for the most part, takes care of her farm and is disabled. For the things she needs help with she offers room and board to the agriculture students at the college in exchange for helping her. |
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Anastasia
True Blue Farmgirl
56 Posts
Anastasia
Telkwa
BC
Canada
56 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2005 : 3:46:13 PM
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Hi all,
I live alone on my 160 acres. I didn't start this way; my ex-boyfriend thought he loved Canada and the area we found. Turned out he was more of a city boy than he thought and he moved back to Scotland. I decided to stay and my wonderful parents funded my mortgage. It's been a struggle but I've learned so much! Very little scares me anymore. I mean, I worry about stuff, sure, mostly money, but fixing things seems quite do-able, especially if you have a great manual! I do all the repair work on my generator, my fencing, been renovation my home, etc. I've discovered the truly generous nature of some of my friends and family, and I really appreciated (and have learned to ask for) the help. When needed.
The thing I found the most frustrating being on a farm was lack of natural physical strength. That's where men have us beat, even the out-of-shape ones. It's irritating!!!
Anyway, have been on my own for two and a half years now and just love it. I recently met a terrific guy but I warned him that any relationship would revolve around the fact that I will not leave my farm. So, he's thinking about trying farming out...looking forward to it, really. He's not a handy type but very excited about learning and has no issues that he'll be learning from me. I've had a few run-ins with men who figure they know more than I do, even if they have idea what I'm talking about or have never seen the equipment I use before. They've all lost a customer!
Good luck! I love the communal idea as well; I have the space and it will just mean finding the right people. We'll see what happens.
Cheers,
Anastasia
"Speciality is for insects." -Robert Heinlen |
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connio
True Blue Farmgirl
535 Posts
connie
springtown
texas
USA
535 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 09:58:48 AM
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Hey Farm Girls!
Anastasia
Your life sounds both challenging and exciting. I live alone (with a dozen big dogs, lots of barn cats and 2 cockatiels) on a tiny farm in Texas and have found my new life (of 2 years) to be rewarding, joyful, maddening and terrifying--sometimes all in one day!
However, I am very happy that I made the decision to "go rural." I have also found it to be frustrating when I don't have the physical strength to carry out a task but have found that I have been getting much stronger in the past 2 years so that will have to be enough. Power tools are also a help. I had a new roof put on my house and there was no way that I could carry the shingle packets up the ladder. Fortunately, I have 3 brothers who took care of it for me.
Money is probably my biggest issue because as a city girl of 23 years, I had no idea how much things like fencing, barn repairs etc could cost. It has been a bit of a shock, but I am perservering and have learned to negotiate and look for "deals." I bought 300 ft of new no-climb horse wire the other day for the price of about 90 feet--found a rancher who had partial rolls behind his barn and basically decided not to use them and just wanted to get them off of his land.
I also like the idea of women doing some sort of communal farming but really have no idea where to start. I am 53 years old, have had some health issues and know that it would be better to have some like-minded women near by. Most of the women that I have met are married and seem somewhat suspicious of a single woman on her own--guess that they think that I am "out to steal their men." which after 24 years of marriage and divorce could not be farther from the truth!
Enough for now--will look forward to hearing comments from others.
Connie
cozycottage |
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grammy-o
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Lisa
Greenville
WI
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2005 : 1:01:37 PM
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I jumped alone 7 years ago! There I days I still feel like I'm still in the falling part of teh leap, but the UP days are fabulous. I bought 6 acres myself, and have kept it for 7 years. Along with my horses and my 4 daughters and now my one grandson. I did it all by myself (hay, cut & stack wood, clean the barn, put up walls, tear down walls, built stalls, sharpened my lawnmower blades...) until last December when I met the most wonderful man in the world. Together we just bought another farmette so we could have a place that is "ours", but he refuses to let me sell "my" place because he knows how hard I worked to get, keep and fix it.
Let's keep FARM LAND as FARM LAND! |
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A Farm of My Own: Homesteading without a partner? |
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Homesteading without a partner?
