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Family Matters:  Worried  |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 10:09:42 PM
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Hi, ladies---I'm concerned about a trip my parents plan to take this month to Texas. My brother lives in Texas, and they've made the trip many times, but my dad told me recently that he was driving back from the gas station, which is about a mile from their house, and he temporarily forgot where he was. Then he saw the water tower and remembered. It's a long drive to Texas, about six hundred miles, and I just worry about them driving down there. My dad forgets lots of things and I just have misgivings about them making this trip. My mom has a cell phone, but I'm not sure she knows how to use it. I mean, if there was an emergency. My brothers don't see my parents as often as I do, so I don't know if they're aware of just how much my dad forgets things. My dad has been working on his taxes, and I just know there's going to be mistakes on it. But he won't pay to have someone else do it, even though he can afford it. Maybe when they get to Texas, my brother will notice some of the things I've noticed. I don't worry too much about them when they're at home, but what if he's driving and forgets where he is? My mom knows the way down there, but she doesn't drive much anymore. I know it's all in God's hands, but still, I worry.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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embchicken
True Blue Farmgirl
1487 Posts
Elaine
Ocean
NJ
USA
1487 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 03:52:00 AM
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Cindy~ I don't blame you for feeling worried and it is a very touchy subject to bring up to your mom and dad. Maybe you should call your brother ahead of time and let him know about your concerns so he has a heads up while they are with him. My parents make the long drive to Maine often and I tell them to leave their cell on and then I call them every so often to see how their ride is going. Maybe you could try that. I don't give them a specific reason for doing it - just want to see how it is going. Your mom and dad will be in my thoughts and prayers.
~ Elaine
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
http://embchicken.blogspot.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 5:58:17 PM
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Cindy- does your mom have a "smart" phone? I know on my phone there is an app called "where's my phone?" and you can log onto a computer to find the GPS location of the phone. Perhaps being able to see where your mom's phone is would help you not worry so much?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 9:59:42 PM
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Alee-No, my mom's phone isn't a smart phone. And lots of times, she has it turned off. My parents still have dial-up on their computer, if that tells you anything. She recently was looking for a store that still sells VHS tapes for their VCR.
Elaine--thank you for praying for my parents. I may ask my mom to leave her cell phone on "just in case" I have to call them.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 06:14:25 AM
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Oh, I'm so sorry, Cindy. This may be a dumb question, but, they don't have ONSTAR, do they?
My grandparents are starting to need more and more help nowadays. My grandmother is officially suffering from dimentia, and my grandpa's health is deterioriating. They JUST got dial-up a couple months ago, and my grandma can hardly use her cell phone. It's worrysome to say the least, even with my mom and aunt going over to help take care of them.
All I can really offer as advice is making sure to leave a note stuck on the console or something, REMINDING them to call you every day, or twice a day, or whatever, with check boxes next to the reminders so they check off when they've called you that day. Checklists have really helped my grandparents. I'll keep them in my prayers!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2011 : 5:12:34 PM
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Megan--no, they don't have ON-STAR. I'm sure they'll be OK once they get to my brother's house, it's just the drive down there and back that I'm worried about. I'm not even sure when they're going, just "sometime this month." Guess it depends on the weather. I hope my dad doesn't try to do it all in one day. Usually they stop somewhere in Oklahoma for the night.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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adnama
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
inge
fargo
north dakota
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 12:24:30 AM
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| absolutely insist that your mother get in the habit of calling you every day at the same time every day, before she goes.When they go on their trip, again tell her she needs to call, and ask this time for her to call two times, once in the morning and then in the afternoon. This is not a light matter, you can't keep them at home, but I have many friends in law enforcement that talk about very sad stories about older folks that are just begining to get a touch of dementia and become extremely confused driving. (I become confused driving sometimes) Things change from the last time you went that way, other drivers are distracted and so on. And explain that she needs to make sure her phone is charged up, and check to make sure her car charger works, sometimes the newer chargers don't work in older cars and vice versa. All cell phones have a GPS device in them, but they only can read from the closest tower that is available. so at times the reaing can be miles off, but it can narrow a search field for law enforcement. There was a recent case where a couple where heading home and took the wrong turn and got stuck for 5 days in a field that was in a not very traveled part of the road, when they finally turned their phone back on, to try to make a call again, the tower was able to hone in on the signal. Both are recovering but they were dehydrated and not quite frost bitten, but suffered needlessly trying to get help and then becoming concerned and trying to conserve resouces such as their battery and their gas. Be the very concerned daughter and let mom know she has to contact you... she may think your a bit touched but so what ... you are.. with love. |
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missusprim
True Blue Farmgirl
400 Posts
Karen
Fostoria
Ohio
USA
400 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2011 : 06:09:47 AM
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Awww, I feel for you Cindy. Aging parents can be worrisome and it can be a challenge giving them room to be independent when reason for concerns increase as they get older. I'm in the same boat.
If I were in your shoes, I'd call them before they head out (either at their home or from a hotel), on the road and again in the evening. And ask that they call you when they arrive at your brothers. I would agree with others to call your brother and explain your concerns with him and ask him to encourage them to call you once they've arrived if they haven't. Calling at check points during a long road trip is typical at all ages so I wouldn't make an issue of it.
My Dad has a Jitterbug phone but I checked and at this time it does not offer GPS. But it has a very simple interface and even though he's had a stroke and his comprehension is not the best - he can operate it. Generally most phones on the market now have GPS capabilities even if they're not a Droid or a smartphone, and maybe getting them one would be a wise idea. Of course, it's a given to make sure it's simple and as user friendly as possible. Even so, maybe typing out basic directions for using it that she/they'd understand wouldn't be a bad idea. I do that for my Mom with a lot of her computer stuff and she is so glad to have it when she has a brain fart. Geez, even I do it for certain things that I don't do that much but know it'd take me forever and a day to figure out all over again.
You and they will be in my thoughts and I do hope all goes well!
"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." George Eliot
http://onceinnabluemoon.blogspot.com/
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2011 : 5:41:11 PM
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Well, my folks got to Texas ok. They stopped in MacAlester for the night and said the tornado sirens were going off, but no damage where they were. Further south, I think in Atoka, there was more damage. it rained here this morning and again this evening, pretty hard, but no strong winds.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2011 : 03:29:10 AM
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Cindy,
I am glad to hear your folks arrived safely. Now, just the drive home to worry about right? I think you should alert your brothers to your concerns so they can be on the lookout for any behaviour that may be unusual. Don't let these matters go on too much longer. You would feel awful if something happened and this is the reversal of parent/child roles that we all know is so difficult. But, your mind is clearer and your insistence of their and others safety must prevail. It is very diificult, but siblings standing united would really help. Good luck, I know this is painful.
Marianne |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2011 : 7:56:44 PM
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Marianne--they got home Ok but my mom had her cell phone turned off the entire trip back. It's frustrating. Thanks for everyone who was concerned.
cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 2:29:58 PM
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Good news!! So glad your worries are put to rest.
Marianne |
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Family Matters: Worried |
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Worried
