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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Is anyone else insanely overwhelmed?  |
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dazed81
Farmgirl in Training
43 Posts
Meagan
Wyanet
IL
USA
43 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 06 2011 : 8:47:41 PM
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I am just going to throw this out there.
This is my first post (I think) Besides my Introduction post one year ago. I don't even know how to begin, except to say that I am overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed with being overwhelmed. LOL.
I have two children, 17 months apart, one just turned 2 last week and the second oldest is 3.5 years old. I've been at this for a little while now. Things have gotten easier, and better. But of course there are constantly new challenges. The kids are now both very talkative and have so many needs and demands and as much as I enjoy it all, I am having a horrible time just keeping up. On a whole new level. I can barely keep us in clean underwear around here, let along keep up with dishes, meals, diapers. Oy.
I was raised on a farm. I had cattle. My husband was the same. But now we are squished in a 1900 square foot house in town. I know that isn't super tiny, but we have been here for 10 years now and we have added two kids. And I love to do crafts so I have sewing supplies and basketweaving supplies and embroidery, scrapbooking, painting, the list goes on and on and on. But lately I don't feel like I even have time to take a breath, let alone actually put these supplies to any use.
I joined the sisterhood a year ago. I was wanting to expand my horizons and the badges and sisterhood made me feel all warm and fuzzy (I was a girl scout and a leader's daughter for 10 years, so I know my share about badges :)
So right now my husband and I have just decided that this spring is the right time to try for #3. I am so excited, but now I am starting to panic a little because these kids are running me crazy!
This year I was on the steering team for my local MOPS Group and I have decided to step back from that a bit. For many reasons besides just "time"- I just don't fit in there 100% because I am not your cookie cutter soccer mamma. But they don't seem to mind for the most part. Often they do look at me like I have just grown 2 heads.
In December my husband came down with H1N1 and we had a rough month of sickness. he was literally IN BED for almost three weeks. I was so overwhelmed with things to do and being a single parent and trying to keep the kids happy and quiet in an Illinois winter and OUT of daddy's room so he could rest and they hopefully would not catch it. I went on hiatus from cloth diapers and put my son in disposables... for the first time in 3 years I started buying diapers. And because I was so busy, I didn't get diapers washed and they got ruined. 
I ferociously recycle, and in the yard I have my own little Organic Square Foot Garden. We did cloth diapers, and I use mamma cloth. We do lots of things differently, I had natural childbirth, waterbirth to be exact, and my next child we hope can be a homebirth. I have considered homeschooling, but I just don't think that's something I am particularly cut out for.
I have such a time even beginning to keep up with housework. I have tried all sorts of things, like making a schedule (vacuum this day, wash bedding this day, mop this day, etc.) But this never sticks and we have lots of busy days, and what happens when we miss a day (or three!) because we have appointments and we are at preschool or visiting friends or family, etc. Nothing seems to stick around here.
For the longest time I just let things go. I just sort of gave up. I couldn't keep up with all this anyway. But then the kitchen became a disaster and there wasn't a clean dish or fork in the place, and we were eating out all the time because we had no clean dishes and no clean counters. So now I am trying to get back on track around this place. I subscribed to a trial for Relish! Which is an online meal planning site that provides grocery list, menu, etc... but I was overwhelmed after looking at my first grocery list, and I thought, Not only do I not have time to prepare these dishes, I also don't have money to spend on these kinds of ingredients, or time to drive to the towns where I might find some of them.
It seems I am hitting endless roadblocks.
I am not aiming at perfection here. Quite far from it. Just some sense of "normalcy" for my family. I have several friends who have similar interests and goals as I do. These mammas often have messy houses with animals running around here and there, and that's how I was raised. I am okay with that, but my in-laws are neatnicks that have no animals and are really into just throwing things out and buying more. Which is completely against my mentality. I have tried to just let go of worrying about what others think, and often joke with my friends and embrace the fact that this is what REAL life looks like.
But at the same time, sometimes I look at all this and think WHAT have I gotten myself into?!
So tell me, who out there is like me? Overwhelmed, underpaid (haha) and really just wondering what is the point of all this running around we are doing?
Do ya'll think I am crazy or can you perhaps step in and say "It's okay, you ARE normal" (or not?)
Guts spilled. Hopefully this means I can sleep tonight!
Oh, and we are currently home to a 14 year old beagle and 6 very beautiful 3 week old Buff Orpington Chicks :) - Coop in Progress.
I create lots of things but I have yet to apply for a single sisterhood badge, I completely stink at keeping up anywhere online except facebook these days, and I really want to make some like minded farmgirl friends that can help me get through this overwhelming stage of parenting and raising animals :) My sisterhood membership is about to expire and I feel guilty even having one because I haven't used it properly. Not to mention that if I can't keep our underwear washed and put away, how can I earn a badge?
Anyone out there?
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
You'll find us Blogging, Cloth Diapering, Breastfeeding, Sewing, Gardening, Crafting and Recycling.
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 07:31:34 AM
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#1 - Stop being so hard on yourself as this is causing you immense stress. #2 - If you can afford to hire someone for a day to come in and clean your house so you can start with a fresh slate. #3 - Put all your supplies in one room and create your own craft area that you claim as your own. #4 - In all this you don't say if hubby is helping with all this, if he's not then you need to tell him what you are feeling. #5 - Stop and smell the roses and don't worry what other people think. Hope this helps.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 07:51:27 AM
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I agree. I signed up for flylady and used it with wonderful results for about 2 years. It's easy, slow, and takes all the thought and plannin out of it. I love the flylady.
I feel exactly as you do in almost every way. I have 3 girls, 16, 10, and 2. It is so overwhelming to be a mom. I have 2 cats, a dog, and 24 duck eggs we are currently hatchin. We used to have 36 chickens, but I had to give them to a family member when my Hubby got hurt and couldn't work so couldn't build the coop last year. Ducks don't require a coop and can be allowed to migrate in the winter if we can't have it all together by then, so they seemed easier.
I totally understand the whole feelin and reality. I just recently, about the last 2 years, have been goin through a major overwhelmed phase in my life. I'm now livin in my inlaws old house with my MIL livin in a trailer on the property. Since my FIL passed away we have been takin care of the house and my MIL, but I just keep slippin farther and farther down the spiral.
I decided last month that I was sick and tired of spendin every dime we had on burgers and fries cause there wasn't a clean plate in the house! I have been slowly takin back my house, life, family, and schedule. It's a total uphill battle and most days I do good to stand my ground and not slip backwards, but I swear I've made four or five good steps forward.
I am more determined than ever to get this all together, but I do not want nor expect perfection. I grew up in the country with animals and gardens and tons of kids runnin in and out all the time, some family, some neighbors, some friends, and some foster kids. My idea of clean is nothing moldy, nothing blockin the doorways, and nothing piled higher than the windows. LOL! That's what mom used to say every night before we went to bed. I have piles of books, papers, projects all around the rooms of my house, but you always have a place to sit and walk, so I figure good enough.
My inlaws are all neat freaks who rant about the collection of boards beside the barn(I'm gatherin free lumber till I have enough for a chicken coop), the compost pile out back, and the 'decor' in the living room. I have lined every wall with bookcases and have craft cabinets and supply cabinets overflowin with 'junk'. I homeschool my girls and these are needed and loved things in our home. Just the act of homeschooling and the fact that I make my own curriculm is a point of contention to go with my second hand life.
I love to watch people cringe when they look at my life and shake their head at 'the poor misguided thing' when they look my way. It's just that life has gotten ahold of me instead of me gettin ahold of it lately. It's so hard to drag your way back once you fall behind. Believe me. I get it! Lots of us girls out here get it! I promise you, you are not alone or weird or out of the norm at all. Even the ones who seem to have it all together are overwhelmed even if they won't admit it.
Take my older sis for example. I used to evny her. She had a spotless house, nice new cars, always dressed very nice, and you never seen her yard or garden look the slightest bit shabby. Then her boys went off to college and I thought, 'Wow! She's got it all together and I'm totally slackin!'.
Then her youngest came home for a visit and wanted to stay at his grandma's instead of his mom's. So I went to my mom's to visit my nephew and we talked. He said he wanted to stay there so he didn't have to deal with all the stress. He said his mom does nothing but clean and sleep. He said she cries and screams all the time about how deep in debt they are. I found out that her super nice things and appearance were only a cover for her sad, hard life. Yeah she was nicely dressed and super stressed. I began to feel sorry for her instead of envying her.
Look closely at the people you pass in the grocery store and on the street. They all are looking around to make sure no one is looking too closely at them so no one sees their downfalls. We all have them. We all go through times in our lives when nothing is right, feels right, and works right. That's the good thing about this site! We are all here to help, not judge. We are here to comiserate, communicate, cry with, and hold each other up. It's a soft place to land when you fall.
I hope you know that you have friends here.
I hope you know that even if this is the only time you use your membership, it was used properly and well worth it.
I hope you find what you need for your life.
I'm here if you want to email me. I can talk to you about anything and you never have to worry about any judgements. I promise.
The Ladies on this site are here, and they hear you. Believe me. They hear you.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 12:21:01 PM
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I have to say I feel the exact same way most days. It's hard! I need to get some nursing gowns sewn before I have this next baby, yet I look around and it's like I have way too much other stuff to get caught up on! UHG! The house is in chaos. I have a 4y/o, and a 1y/o and am expecting again! lol It's crazy in this house! UHG!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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dazed81
Farmgirl in Training
43 Posts
Meagan
Wyanet
IL
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 4:23:05 PM
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okay, I am glad I am not alone. Believe it or not (don't hit me, where is there a chair I can hide under?) I do have cleaning ladies. When I worked full time I Had one because I usually worked between 50-70 hours a week, I went without for a while when I started to stay home but when I was very pregnant with a 15 month old, I got a lady again. Right now I have the house cleaned twice a month for $60 each time. Husband occasionally mentions (barely anymore) that we could cut that expense, but I tell him that it is VITAL to my sanity and the health of our family. I have a hard enough time picking up the house enough so that it can be cleaned. I still have stacks and piles, but at least things get mopped and disinfected twice a month. Right now I can barely pick up one room without constantly being interrupted and two toddler tornadoes tearing it up as we go.... picking up the whole house and cleaning just is NOT happening. I am not a total freak about cleanliness, I will be the first to admit some moldy things here and there ;) but I just need to have it clean every now and then, for our sanity and health, and for the fact that I don't feel bad about people coming over.
You all sound just like me.
To be honest, for the most part I LIKE things the way they are. (mostly) And I insanely cherish the two friends and families with kids who have a big of a mess as I do. Seriously, I am just so tired of everyone trying to outdo everyone else. I am tired of working and working and working and not being able to enjoy.
Before having kids I had a sewing room in my basement, and a scrapbook room. The scrapbook room was sacrificed when we had #2, because we needed more bedroom space. The sewing room is in the basement, and I don't us it much now except to keep supplies... because I couldn't take the kids up and down the stairs all the time when they were little, and I had one potty training and one in diapers. I moved my sewing things to the front porch and kept working out there, and setup a little play area for the kids. The porch now overlooks our fenced in front yard, so in the spring and summer I can work on the porch with all the windows open (there are 14!) and watch the kids play outside. I can't wait for that weather!
I think that's a big part of the problem, we are at the end of the cooped up winter, and the weather hasn't quite been nice enough yet to do more than tease us for a day and then trap us back inside. The kids need OUT and I need OUT and I need them OUT so I can think straight :) I have done some creative things lately, making clothes for DD's cabbage patch baby, a shirt for DS's birthday, and some blankets and pillows for him too. AND I finished DD's Crocheted Twin blanket that I worked on all winter.
DH is helpful, but mostly when forced. He otherwise is like another child, leaving wrappers and garbage on the coffee table, countertops, and dining room table constantly. He also does not normally load or unload a single dish from the dishwasher, and rarely does laundry. He is more helpful than some husbands I know, but nothing like his own father (who does practically all the housework in addition to farming AND running his own successful business) and nothing like some husbands our generation has. We are working on that, and today he stayed home with us and helped pick up. But his idea of helping is like 1-2 hours, while I may spend two-three days in a row picking up, sorting, organizing, and doing laundry and dishes in addition to my regular tasks.
I am actually really liking the chickens because I deal with them after the kids are in bed, clean their brooder, and sometimes just snuggle up with one and put it to sleep in my hand. I also often tell my husband that I need him to give baths or clean up supper while I go down and take care of the chicks. It's a break for me and something I enjoy.
My dad just retired so we have been going to the farm alot more lately and just enjoying our time there, helping with the cows or around the yard, picking up sticks, riding in the tractor, etc. Today the kids and I went and I tore the vinyl siding off three of the four sides of the doghouse I am converting to a chicken coop. I got such satisfaction from doing something... productive, outside, enjoyable, and WITH my family. Ahhh. I am feeling better.
PLUS the cleaning people came today and so the house is fresh and I don't have a ton of stuff staring at me!
Thanks for your support and help, and some laughs :)
I went to bed last night with the badge list and I figured out that I have actually earned several at least beginner badges in the last year, and intend to apply for those now. I guess I DID use my membership and didn't even know it :)
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
You'll find us Blogging, Cloth Diapering, Breastfeeding, Sewing, Gardening, Crafting and Recycling.
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 6:12:05 PM
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I have soooo been and am where you are. I have two that are 15 months apart and added another when my 2nd was 2.5. Now mine are 5.5, 4, and 1. It is a workout and a half and sometimes, I wonder if overwhelmed is really the right word. LOL I am slightly grayer and a whole lot balder, but we get through everyday. Even the days when #2 gets his head stuck in the deck posts or #1 has decided to be like Mommy and practice using mascara on her bedroom wall. Thankfully, #3 is still able to be put in the playpen, but somehow, just when I think its safe to sit down, I realize someone has a dirty diaper and like a horse race, we are off again.
I don't have any farm animals. I dream farmgirl dreams while living in my little house on a postage stamp. I still find contentment here. It is just makes me dream bigger.
I don't remember the last time I had me time away, but what I can't have, I dream of and that is good for the moment. I steal quiet times in between the diapers, and messes, and constant chatters. (Talkative is an understatement for my children--think chicken house)
But, it's all good and it ALL gets better! :D
I'd love to get to know you better if you think you have time for a penpal in your schedule. I know what that can be like too. :D
I'm glad you shared. It makes me feel less alone in my toddler crazies!
hugs
JEssie
"Wonder Woman hasn't got a cape, she just turned her apron around"
Farmgirl Sister #235 |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 6:53:56 PM
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Yup!!! Oh Yes! I have been there! And to some degree am still there.
One thing that has started saving my sanity is I realized I was wasting so much time dealing with stuff instead of people. Also I decided I wasn't a horrible person for letting Nora watch some movies or approved cartoons while I get the bathroom cleaned or a load of laundry thrown in. We also broke down and bought a dishwasher instead of spending the time handwashing.
I think it is great that you have a cleaning lady come in a couple times a month. Also remember that nothing has to be perfect!
I recently went through my room and we got rid of about 6 garbage bags of outdated, worn out clothes, things we had been "saving", and odd bits and pieces that had accumulated. It was amazing how nice it felt and we have for the most part kept it up.
My daughter started getting interested in helping me around the house when she was about two. If you can keep the kids in your sight while you are doing dishes or whatever then maybe you could do what I did. I gave Nora a spray bottle of water and a rag and she got to "help" wipe down the counter or the floor or whatever while I was otherwise busy.
I wanted to homeschool Nora too, but realized that just wasn't my gift to give to her and her school has been amazing. Seeing her grow and blossom there makes me realize that I made the right choice for us. Having her away for part of the day when I have my day off helps me really focus on chores or "me" time. And I can't wait till summer comes when I can coat her in sun block and she can go outside to play. We have a wading pool and swings in the back yard and she will have her own bit of garden. The back yard is right outside our laundry room so sometimes I set up a table outside and take the laundry outside to fold.
Sometimes it is that last load of laundry that I put in the dryer at night that gives us clean towels and underwear for the next day and I figure- that's okay too.
*hugs* I bet you are a fantastic mom. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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dazed81
Farmgirl in Training
43 Posts
Meagan
Wyanet
IL
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2011 : 7:27:07 PM
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"I set up a table outside and take the laundry outside to fold."
Um, awesome idea!!! Ours isn't near the fence, but the clothesline is inside the fence, so I could take them off the line and then go right to the table in the yard and fold. OMG! Genius!!!! I have tried to fold them in my lap but I end up losing them or something and then they get full of leaves and grass and I have to shake them out again. LOL. I even have a fold in half style buffet table that I keep in the sewing room on the front porch. GENIUS! I love it! Thanks for that lil tip!
Maybe I need some farmgirls in my area... but don't I have enough to do? LOL.
I would love to get to know you all better! I don't know when I would write a penpal but I am going to try to pop in here each night... I CAN DO THIS!
And I am on facebook because I can do that from my phone. Mary Jane needs an iPhone app. Or is that to plugged in? LOL.
If you want to be a facebook friend just let me know... and I love the quote about wonder woman's cape is an apron turned around! OMG that is so me! Check out my blog to see....
I just applied for my first completed badges. It has taken a few hours to get them all submited and written out and photos on the site, but I got six applied for. Reading the listings again really helped me to put a focus on the things that are important to me and things that I really want to get done with the kids and involve them in. Most of my badges require helpers :)
I am feeling newly refreshed and excited! THANK YOU ladies!
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
You'll find us Blogging, Cloth Diapering, Breastfeeding, Sewing, Gardening, Crafting and Recycling.
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
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plantcarazy
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Jenn
Montana
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2011 : 4:29:35 PM
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Dazed 81 I think you are my twin! You said exactly what I have felt too! And just for the record two kids same age as yours, also a beagle, and will have my orpingtons in May (building coop right now too)! I have often thought the same thing and lately have just decided ahh the heck with it!! So the bed does not get made every day, and yes sometimes I am in my pajamas until noon, but you know what, I have discovered it is okay! Take a deep breath, a cup of tea, and sit at your table and just look outside for 5 minutes (or more)- you deserve it and the kids will be fine.
I have compiled a list of every day chores that MUST be done and when I am totally feeling like I am in the rut so deep that I am catatonic, I just go to the list and try to calmly go through it. I agree with every single lady who has posted here as to what to do and I am going to try their advice as well. My Mother said that being a Mom is one of the most underpaid, stressful, exhausting and absolutely wonderful jobs in the world all at the same time, and when I tuck my little ones into bed at night and they look up at me with their sweet innocent faces and say "I love you Mommy". I get my whole world straightened out again.
I often find myself wandering down country roads..................... |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2011 : 4:54:00 PM
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Just try to go for organized chaos and don't worry about having perfection. It's impossible with small children. Sometimes it's akin to herding cats.
I find having a regular dialog with God also helps.
Hugs, it does get better.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
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dazed81
Farmgirl in Training
43 Posts
Meagan
Wyanet
IL
USA
43 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2011 : 06:58:00 AM
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Jennifer, that's crazy! we are long lost twins! lol
Meagan
*I JUST BROKE MY LEG!!! Passing the Time in a thigh to toe cast while the little ones destroy the house!
*
Mamma to Ardyn Isabel (9-3-07) and Marek Owen (3-31-09)
6 Buff Orpington Chicks and 14 year old "Boyd the Wonder Beagle"
www.adventuresineverydaylife.com |
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plantcarazy
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Jenn
Montana
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2011 : 08:05:47 AM
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Oh Meagan I am sorry to hear about your leg! I hope you will heal soon.
I often find myself wandering down country roads..................... |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2011 : 2:09:22 PM
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Man-I've been overwhelmed lately due to a newborn! I've been working part time and taking her with me. My husband works during the day, so, I have sole "Ownership" of the household duties, cooking, cleaning, etc. I also have a side business of photography, which has started to "Take off", so I've been busy with that as well. Luckily next week is my LAST week at my job-then I'm a full-time SAHM! I'm so excited. I've also been doing the flylady for quite some time and just love it! The house really does clean itself cause you clean the clean things! :) They don't have a chance to get dirty!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 3:32:56 PM
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I'm always relieved when I happen by another mom's house with young children at home and witness her house in a state of "controlled chaos". I wish more people were honest about how much work housekeeping with children and pets actually IS. I used to wonder how the working moms did it, but the truth is neither they, nor their kids were ever home to make it messy.
My rugrats are ages 8, 5 and 8 months and being stay at home mommy was sooo hard until the oldest became old enough to help around the house. Today, my biggest challenge is not my children, but the fact that my husband, 3 kids and I share a house with my mother and my brother and sister aged 18 and 13. The teenagers are the usual mixed bag you expect. Yes, they may be capable of doing a good chunk of chores, they also gripe the whole way about how overworked they are. Even so, my sister is assigned to all the household dishes, and my brother to all the yardwork, and whatever miscellaneous tasks I insist upon. (Far be it for them to do anything, even regular assigned chores-- without being expressly asked.) My biggest challenge is the never ending laundry (I'm not proud of the pile of clean clothes in my bedroom, but it's there all the same) and my mother's attachment to things.
We have been living in this house all together more than 2 years, and I only just got rid of the stacks of boxes in all but the foyer. My mother will not get rid of, or allow me to dispose of any item she spent money on at any point in time. I have 4 large boxes full of VHS tapes because they are "classics". We do not have a working VCR.
When she goes away for a couple of days, or several hours, I make the most of it to sneak off water damaged college textbooks from 1999.
As a note, if anyone happens to have plans to build a doghouse out of Marilyn Monroe and Elvis VHS tapes, I'd love to see them.
At any rate, the no stress habit I have picked up is to always say "please excuse the mess" everytime anyone comes to my house-- No matter how long or thoroughly I've cleaned it. If someone is inclined to nitpick, they'll find the one thing i didnt notice anyway, so I might as well ask them to "excuse" it in advance.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 4:06:58 PM
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This goes against all that Fly Lady teaches, but my house is my house and I have to have some peace. I would never get rid of any "real" treasures, say family pictures, heirlooms etc. But, Bill Cosby style sweaters from the 80's, yeah I threw them out by the box full when my husband would go to work! He never wore them in the years and years and years we were married, he would say well I just haven't went any where I needed to wear them yet, but I will some day......ok if you haven't went any where in 10 years that you need them, when exactly will this opportunity come up? Are we waiting for the big Cosby reunion show or something? Yeah any way I kept the one I hated least (or liked best depending on how you want to look at it! lol) and got rid of about 3 garbage bags of them.
I will say before you do this, go through your own stuff first brutally, it's kind of hypocritical to do it to their stuff if you won't to your own. I got rid of all kinds of things I had asked my husband for YEARS to go through, he just didn't.......so I did......you know what he didn't even notice they were gone. It's been about 5 years now and I haven't heard a word about where did all my bill cosby sweaters go, or where did all my wore out overalls go, or where did...go? Not a word! However, I will say I only did it to things I knew he had no real attachment to any way, just didn't want to do the work of actually going through it! But, also didn't want me to get rid of it.....oh well. He doesn't even remember them!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Lady Woodworker
True Blue Farmgirl
259 Posts
Karen
Chamberlain
Maine
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 4:27:05 PM
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Thank you for this cathartic topic!
I don't even have kids and I am overwhelmed. And I have a cleaning lady too. She's a miracle worker.
I work far from home and my job is an all-encompassing, often thankless, never-ending stream of demands that no one person could possibly fulfill.
I caught myself working late again this evening. Thank goodness I can drop in here to say "hello" once in a while.
Thanks for sharing,
Karen
Farmgirl Sister # 2419 |
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BarnChickCecily
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
Cecily
Corydon
IN
USA
673 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 5:45:52 PM
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Meagan, thank you so much for posting this topic. I have 2 boys born 7/5/08 and 10/23/10. I am SO right there with you! It's a daily struggle for me too. Sometimes I also take on too many projects and get even more overwhelmed!! I too have a blog...check it out... I am still new to it. Also, I have facebook cuz I do it from my phone...I wish Mary Jane had an app for phones, too...I actually have searched for one. Anyways...I think a lot of us gals are finding some comfort in eachother here from this topic...so, thanks for posting!
Farmgirl Sister # 241
www.thebarnchick.blogspot.com/ |
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adnama
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
inge
fargo
north dakota
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 6:08:26 PM
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| This is not to be taken as a criticism, just a suggestion, I did this with my kids and am now doing it with my grandchildren. LET THEM HELP even a two year old can use a duster, maybe not perfectly, but they can do a half hearted job and little ones really do want to help especially if it becomes a song- dance just fun fest. If they don't pick up the vibe that this is work, they will have a ball. My four year old granddaughter loves to steam clean my kitchen floor, cause we can do some fun stuff after. Make the picking up and putting away a game that each can win. Your doing okay, don't let the stuff overwhelm you... the kids and their happiness are the most important things... they won't remember your clean floor, but they will remember that you guys could sing, dance and giggle together for they whole lives. |
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BarnChickCecily
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
Cecily
Corydon
IN
USA
673 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2011 : 6:35:29 PM
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Inge, thanks for the suggestion... I don't know about the other ladies, but I dance/sing/clean with my 2 year old. It's nice for the whole 3 minutes he is helping...he gets side tracked withe toys he is suppose to be putting away. I don't mind though, a 2 year old can only do so much and for that small amount of time he is really learning a good lesson in team work and cleanliness. I'm glad you brought that tip up:)
Farmgirl Sister # 241
www.thebarnchick.blogspot.com/ |
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smiley
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
lea
pea ridge
arkansas
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2011 : 07:32:25 AM
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| I just read Joyce Meyers book In Pursuit of Peace. It helped me tremendously. You arent alone. We have to be careful we enjoy the small moments that make up the life. You know? I think we have all been where you are. Hang in there. Raise your children the way you and your husband want and keep your home the way that works for your family and dont worry about how the in-laws do it. |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2011 : 08:16:48 AM
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I know this is an older post, but....
My girls are 5 and 7. We have about 100 different sorts of critters here on the farm, a garden/orchard, and 15 acres. I can tell you, honestly, that most days I do not feel overwhelmed. I am not bragging, I am just telling you that it IS possible to NOT feel like you are going to rip your hair out most of the time.
First of all, what makes me nuts is clutter. When I am surrounded by piles, I go nutty and feel totally overwhelmed. Is my house perfect? HAHAHAHAHA. No. You have to find that happy place where your home is livable and practical...neither spotless nor cluttered. Earlier this year, after picking up toys for the millionth time, I said, "NEVER AGAIN", and loaded up 2-55 gallon trash sacks full of unused toys and hauled them to Goodwill. This spring, I have been going through everything and making constant 'Goodwill piles'. I do tend to hang onto a lot of crafting stuff, but I also have been fairly ruthless with it...if I haven't used it in years and likely never will, OUT it goes. Same with the clothes I never wear (and I do NOT have many, lol).
Another thing that helps is spending a lot of time outside. I think everyone can benefit from some good clean air and sunshine. Plus, the more time you're outside, the less the kids mess up the inside, lol!
My husband and I have an unwritten rule, which is, I try to put in as many hours working per day as he does. So, in the mornings, I will usually clean, make beds, etc. and in the afternoon, I bake and make supper, get homework done, etc. I do not have a specific schedule, other than Monday is laundry day. Anyway, on the weekends, we both do household chores and honey-do's. He never complains about housework, except for dirty dishes, and he and I both hate to do them, lol!
When the kids are young, like yours, you do feel nutty, but those days fly by and you'll miss them (believe it or not).
I'd just say, "Simplify, simplify" first, then set yourself up to some sort of schedule and create small goals for yourself. You MUST get your DH on board in some form or fashion. While he shouldn't be expected to do the majority of the housekeeping (if he works full-time), he should at least pick up after himself...and it always is appreciated when Dad watches the kiddos so Mom can get out and take a break!!!
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2011 : 2:06:51 PM
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everyday, do one thing that makes you happy. whether it is for 15 minutes or 2 but do something just for you and you alone. you will feel better and the other stuff won't matter so much. I have been where you are and my kids are grown and gone now and I have grandchildren. The time does go by soooo fast, enjoy the time with the children while they are young because believe me you turn around and they are all grown up...
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
https://sites.google.com/site/bevsdoggies/
http://bevsdoggies.blogspot.com/ |
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thehatlady
Farmgirl in Training
47 Posts
Lola
Doniphan
Missouri
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - May 19 2011 : 5:59:16 PM
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I use to have a little plaque that hung by my back door that said ' My house is clean enough to be happy and dirty enough to be happy' and I would always add when someone noticed the sign ' and we are extatic!!'
You all have a good one.
Lola
Every day, in every way, I become better and better. |
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BarnChickCecily
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
Cecily
Corydon
IN
USA
673 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2011 : 12:10:59 PM
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So, I thought this would be a good place to ask if anyone wants a pen-pal? I know we are all overwhelmed, but we could swap ideas on cleaning, organizing, children's schedules...encourage eachother...? I just had my 30th birthday. I have two sons ages almost 3 years and a 7 month old. Send me an email if you are interested :) hugs!
Farmgirl Sister # 241
www.thebarnchick.blogspot.com/ |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Is anyone else insanely overwhelmed? |
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Is anyone else insanely overwhelmed?
