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Across the Fence:  any Military wife/hens  |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 6:42:29 PM
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My hubby has been in the military for close to 30 years now & I just sent him off to afghanistan.....with his Army Reserve Unit.....he did a 15 month tour in Iraq back in 2204-05....Now I am not complaining I am just wondering if there are others out there who have had to do this or are doing it & how they are doing?....I seem to get through these times just fine but I know others don't & maybe this can be somewhere you can vent or talk....I am a good listener & can try to help....or some days I may just whine awhile...lol....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2011 : 7:16:06 PM
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Michele I am not a military wife but a military mom. My son is in the Navy and will be returning from deployment in a couple of weeks. Our daughter was in the Air Force for 5 years. I know it's tough on the wives but it's tough on the husbands too.
Kathy |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 03:02:29 AM
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thank you for the note kathy, yes i know its tough on husbands, mothers ect but If there are any male hen' maryjane girls they can be in this also...I just assumed that this was mainly a woman's thing here on this connection of Maryjanes so didn't think to add males....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9394 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9394 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 07:54:59 AM
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Hi Michele,
DH used to be in the Navy so I know what it is to send them off and be a single parent during those times. It's tough. I think it is great to have a thread for our military farmgirls to share and be encouraged.
Thanking all our military families for all they do.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 08:39:50 AM
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My husband is active duty! He got back from a year tour in Afghanistan last spring. Whine all you need! Sometimies that is what you have to do to make it through.
Farmgirl #1947 |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 10:17:10 AM
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Elizabeth you made me smile with your comment...yeah sometimes whining feels so good...lol....I am so happy your hubby made it back.....its always good to hear when they get back safe & sound...oh well maybe not too sound as they have to re-adjust.....lol...Mine came back from Iraq a car demon....he would get on the bumper of others until I told him about it....I am sure it scared the crap out of the drivers he did this to....Up here in Massachusetts I was scared they would slam on their brakes!....lots of road rage up here in certain areas.
Denise, thank you for your thoughts....I just thought it might be a nice thing to have...I know I am up at all hours of the day & night & I always check the farmgirl site so I hope this can be a benefit to someone....otherwise it will just be me with all my craziness going off at times...lol...Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9394 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9394 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 10:41:19 AM
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Someone is always on the forum I'm sure. Whether in our time zone or a different one! 
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 12:26:19 PM
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Michelle,
My DH has been in for almost 27 years now. Currently he is active WI Air Natl Guard. Two tours in Iraq in the last couple of years. Retiring in Sept of 2012! It is hard for all military members and families. My DD is married to an active Army soldier that had 3 tours in Iraq, a total of 51 months in combat. He is going through PTSD and decided he wanted a divorce. She is back from SC living with me currently. After all the deployments and standing by her man, she is heartbroken. He needs some help dealing with every day life. This is the current problem the active duty soldiers and families face. PTSD can be very difficult to treat and most self medicate with alcohol and drugs.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Happy to be a "Raggedy Ann" in a Barbie World!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 12:54:09 PM
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oh yes Diane, its rough for them to go thur the ptsd, but I think its always been an issue..in WWII it was called shell shock, & alcohol & drugs seem to be the thing they will use to try & deal with it....some never come back to the way they were. I dated a Vietnam soldier who for years couldn't watch war movies without going back in his head & would get on his motorcycle to go look for the enemy....thank goodness he would come out of it on the road before he got into trouble but I tell you it was scary to see his eyes change & know that he isn't there at the moment.....it is heartbreaking that this happens to them 7 there is nothing we can do to help...so far I have been lucky, my husband is no longer the man I married....he escpes into his computer games or the Tv & I knew it will be worse when he returns this time....but I am also thankful that I am a independant woman who can go on with the life we sort of have & do the things I need to do....My saving grace is my chickens believe it or not....they give me comfort & need me.....I am also a artist so I create....
I am sorry your daug had to come to this road in her life but she is not at fault.....I feel for both of them...her because she loved him & wanted to be there for him & love him...& him for the hell that is going thur his head 24 hours a day that will not go away....I know he didn't mean to push her a way but he is so messed up mentally its easier to walk a way from her than to try & deal with a normal life that is no longer normal to his way of thinking. its a sad reality of war.....I with think of you & your daug & I hope in time she will heal & realize the 51 months of war was too much for him to handle & she was not at fault even if he is stupid enough to say she is....My husband says some of the most stupid things trying to blame me for things he can't remember....I have learned to just walk away or I would belt him up side the head.....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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LeighErica
True Blue Farmgirl
306 Posts
Erica
PA
USA
306 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 7:25:09 PM
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| I am a military wife...18 yrs proud. Hubby just recieved notification last week that he is deploying in early summer for another year. He has been home for 2 and is now going to be gone again. We are heartsick....I am much better now, but last week I was devastated. Debating wether or not to stay where I am or move home for good. My son leaves for the Marines as well in Aug (maybe sooner)....it will just be me and my baby girl.....at this point, I just don't want to deal with it too much...my world is changing too quickly. But, I will pull up my big girl pants on and lace up my boot straps and keep living...because this is what we do. :) |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2011 : 11:17:51 PM
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Erica, it sure is a tough life at times but you are right, it takes a special person to be married to a military person or even a cop, fireman ect...I know that when I was young & married to my 1st husband also military I didn't think about the war side of his job but this was the late 70's so i was lucky not to have to deal with it...this time around & have dealt with Iraq & now Afghanistan & I guess I am better equiped mentally for it...plus to be honest I think age has helped also....plus I lost my 1st husband to a drunk driver 4 1/2 yrs into that marriage....It may sound really bad but having dealt with his death I knew when I married the 2nd time around to a military person that it could occur again when he went to Iraq....I do know that a part of me that used to be so open is now more closed & reserved.....I know each time he leaves to a foreign place he may not come walking off the plane & yes it gets to me at times but I keep going because even though he has changed I still love him & want to be his wife. yes I too, think of going home but the change there would be just as hard or harder than what is going on now.....thank goodness you have a duag to put all your energy & love into while he will be gone....me, I have my chickens & a great neighbor girl I can go see & help when I am at a low......Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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traildancer
True Blue Farmgirl
485 Posts
Loyce
Glide
OR
USA
485 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 09:36:33 AM
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I'm not where any of you are, yet, but my son just joined the Navy and will graduate from Basic Training on March 25th. His girlfirend and I are going back for the ceremony. He wants to be a SEAL and has mentioned staying in as a career. Even though he's not there yet, sometimes I think about him fighting or serving and not coming back and it's hard. But I know that God will take better care of him than I ever will and when God calls him home it will be his time and not a minute sooner, no matter where my son is.
Thank you for the sacrifices you all have made so that we can live in freedom and without fear.
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
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Prairie Gypsy
True Blue Farmgirl
823 Posts
Tammy
Wolford
North Dakota
USA
823 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 3:11:13 PM
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I was Navy myself and a Navy wife. Now I work for the Army and am a Army mom. Totally understand where you're at. My son just got back Jan 10 from Iraq and is deploying again in May 11 to Afghanistan. He's coming home soon to leave his truck with us before he deploys.
Farmgirl Sister # 2363
http://twilightburrough.blogspot.com/
Warren, MI
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 4:14:56 PM
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What did you do in the Navy Tammy? I was a HM for 6 years.
Farmgirl #1947 |
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SusanScarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
317 Posts
317 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2011 : 5:34:34 PM
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| My hubby was in 32 years, but I was only around for the last five. Thank you - to each of you and your husbands for your service to our country. |
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Prairie Gypsy
True Blue Farmgirl
823 Posts
Tammy
Wolford
North Dakota
USA
823 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 07:15:25 AM
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Elizabeth - I was a FM training for EM. Worked in the motor rewind shop aboard the USS Yellowstone and then the division office when they discovered I could type LOL. After I got pregnant and was put on shore duty I ended up in another yeoman type position for the base commander.
Farmgirl Sister # 2363
http://twilightburrough.blogspot.com/
Warren, MI
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2011 : 08:15:34 AM
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Cool! I wanted a ship so bad, but got stationed on a Marine base. Then I met my husband you was also a Corpsman, so they just kept us there and filp-flopped us from sea and shore duty. I keep trying to get my husband to go to a blue side command next, but I am sure we will end up back with the Marines.
Farmgirl #1947 |
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Crystal Koelzer
Farmgirl in Training
44 Posts
Crystal
Cosby
MO
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2011 : 12:21:43 PM
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| Hey, my husband is active duty air force-7 years now. He has done a tour in Iraq about 3 years ago and it looks like he will be heading to Afg. this fall. I was really hoping the deployment would start later in the year so he wouldn't have to go. It is getting really close to our PSC/separation date. He really wants to go and I really don't want him to. Sometimes I don't understand men. The first tour he did was a special duty, not his real job. Well he says he really wants to go to war doing his real job and that I don't understand. Well that is for sure that I don't understand. Especially considering we are getting ready to separate, basically quitting his job. Really loves it huh?! Enough on that rant. Last time he deployed I moved home to my parents house and am considering doing it again, granted I have a toddler now so he will keep me busy. I just don't have enough going on here in Germany to keep me and would rather be close to family, a good support system. I am also bummed that we won't get to do all of that 'last year travel'. I so wanted to see London and Italy. Only time will tell what our plans will be... |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2011 : 2:03:12 PM
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oh Crystal I am so sorry, it is so tough I know....yeah its a odd thing that they get so hyped up to go to these dangerous places which makes it hard for us to understand...I know my husband loves anything that makes his heart beat faster...he jumps out of planes as a hobby, used to mtn climb which I understand sorta but I guess you & I aren't the type who want the danger we want a nice peaceful home & life. I just sent my hubby to Texas to be deployed at the end of the month to Afghanistan...he also did 15 months in iraq back in 2004-2005....I do hope that you get to do the 'traveling' you wanted to do when he gets back.....I know my husband will keep going if they ask him...so I made sure the life insurance was paid up for that just in case deal with him...I hate to even think about it but its a part of my life & has been for over 24 yrs now....If going home to your folks helps you then go...you have to think of yourself & the baby while he is gone, you have to be able to depend on yourself for alot of things that you already know...good luck sweetie....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2011 : 3:08:08 PM
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Bless you all and thank you to you and your family members that are serving our great country!
As for my daughter, she is living with me and he says he will try a separation before divorce. He told her that his head is so messed up right now. Also, he hates his stateside job as drill sargeant and wants to deploy to Afghanistan. It must be an adrenaline rush that he can't get enough of. Almost like he is addicted.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Happy to be a "Raggedy Ann" in a Barbie World!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
Edited by - Fiddlehead Farm on Mar 15 2011 3:10:55 PM |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2011 : 3:56:05 PM
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for some the adrenaline rush is an addiction...think race car drivers, cops, fireman,medics...& military....I am glad he has decided to a separation to hopefully get his head on straight...& being a drill sgt is a tough job in itself....I will think of you Diana & your daug & hope that things work out for the best for all.....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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Marcia30
True Blue Farmgirl
159 Posts
Marcia
Mt. Carmel
IL
USA
159 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2011 : 3:20:23 PM
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My DH was in the Army for 5 years and was deployed right before the war kicked off. He moved into Iraq when the war started and was gone when our son was born. It was hard for me and my 2 year old daughter. I was all alone on post, none of the other army wives in his unit would even make an effort to talk to me or call to see how i was doing. So when he left all i could do was cry. But then i left to go back home with our family. And then i was ok. I stayed with his mother till he came home. But one really cool thing was when i went to have our son i was having a scheduled c-section and i told him the day and time and when they took me back to the operating room he called and i got to talk to him on the phone the whole time while they did my c-section. And so he got to hear his son cry for the first time. They said they had never had anyone on the phone like that while having a baby. It was pretty cool and then he called me when i got back to my room. Then he came home a week later. So all was well.
Here comes the warmer weather!!! May God Bless all of our gardens!!!!
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2011 : 5:09:08 PM
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I find it such a shame that other military wives can be so full of themselves because of their husbands rank that they won't take the time to reach out to the other younger wives...i saw alot of that even when the boys weren't at war but off doing something & a young wife needed help....While we were stationed at Fort Benning my husband was only a E4 but since I am 10 yrs older than him I had no problem helping any of the wives no matter what their husbands rank was...& I became close friends with the captain & Sgt Major...I am sure there were times I would show up that they wished they were anywhere but in their office but because I had no fear of them I usually got things done for the wives that needed it....When Thomas was in Iraq I never got a phone call or had someone just check on me & I know that will occur again with him on his way to Afghanistan.....thank goodness I am able to tend to everything that needs to be done & can call my sisters if I ever need a shoulder to cry on....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2011 : 6:36:04 PM
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The most dear friends I had were a Major General and his wife. They were like my adopted parents when I first got to Camp Lejeune. I was an E-3, and he was a 2 star General. She taught me so much about being a military wife, and he about being active duty. They had no problem with our difference in rank. She got very ill and passed away, but I always look to her as an example of how to treat other wives. My husband went to Afghanistan shotly after she passed away, and like you said, no phone calls or anything from anybody. The "Army Wives" depiction of how military wives interact in real life is so far from the truth that the show makes me laugh!
Farmgirl #1947 |
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SylviaE
True Blue Farmgirl
350 Posts
Sylvia
Wichita
KS
USA
350 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2011 : 6:46:41 PM
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| My husband is retired Navy, 9 years active and 11 years reserve. He deployed to Iraq in his last year of service. I am also an Army mother-in-law. Son-in-law has deployed twice to Iraq and has just recently returned from Afganistan. I served as Navy Family Ombusdman both as an acitve duty spouse and as a reserve spouse. |
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fille de ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
2344 Posts
Madeline
Meadow Lands
Pa.
USA
2344 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2011 : 04:12:04 AM
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Hello Michele :) First & foremost Thank You & your husband for your sacrifice. I never really understood what that meant until my son joined the AF. He just returned from deployment 8/'10. I found out first hand how little people realize what wives, mothers, husbands, fathers, heck the whole family goes through when their loved one defends their country to keep everyone safe.My family & friends, never once picked up the phone to offer any support. This left me dumb founded as I have always been there for them. My customers offered the most support & complete strangers on forums & support groups. It does not matter how long ones loved one has been in the military, the feeling of helplessness is always there. I wish I could reach through my computer & just give you a Maddie hug :)I offer to anyone reading this, like Michele a ear that listens & a heart that cares. Thank You all who's loved one is serving & protecting this Wonderful country. I send care packages, if anyone knows of a need, please email me :)
Blessings |
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Across the Fence: any Military wife/hens |
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any Military wife/hens
