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*Farmgirl Swap:  Swap Etiquette  |
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 09:43:37 AM
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| I am fairly new to this wonderful site and am just now having my first negative experience with a barter (not a swap). I have had a wonderful swap partner and two amazing barter experiences. Now I am struggling with what to do about a completely non-responsive bartering partner. I sent the package out in a timely fashion, paid my 14.00 in priority mail fees, followed the USPS tracking to make sure she received the package (she did, at least a week ago) and not only have I received to return package, but not a word to say thanks, I got your package...just an acknowledgment would be good. I have seen this persons name all over the bartering forums during the last week, so I know that there is not a health problem or other emergency that would preclude her from responding. I have to think it is a complete lack of common courtesy which I just don't understand. I guess I'll just have to go with the 3 out of 4 isn't bad idea, but like all you other ladies I want to say that PLEASE don't offer to swap or barter unless you intend to follow through, and PLEASE at least have the courtesy to shoot off a quick email acknowledgment that you received your package. I know that, like myself, most of us have very busy lives and taking our time to drive to the post office, wrap the box, stand in line, pay for postage, etc. is not something we would do if we knew we wouldn't even get a simple thanks! Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with all of you...and thank you so much to Amy, Mary and Bert for some really wonderful experiences. Thanks too to Peg, Patsy, Dianne, and Linda for our upcoming swaps/barters. I look forward to more great farmgirl fun! |
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2012 : 3:42:42 PM
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bump
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2012 : 5:55:43 PM
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another word
DEADLINE
MAILOUT DATE
if you can not meet a deadline
you are not being fair to the other swapper
there is a reason for the deadline
like who wants xmas tags in february
or valentines in april
please be considerate and honor the deadline
blessings deborah
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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Jonesy
True Blue Farmgirl
197 Posts
Joan
Donovan
illinois
USA
197 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 09:32:33 AM
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Everyone here has been so kind and loving toward their sisters and I hope this is not taken in the wrong light. I truly understand when someone is so happy to send their item that they also include extras. Yet when there are 8, 10 or more extras(which don't get me wrong it IS extremely nice) but, it makes me feel as if I am not doing "my share" and that I should not participate if I do not do the same. Can we agree that if someone chooses to send them that they shuld be limited to only 2-3 extras? Or am I all wrong in my thinking.
Nothing happens unless first we dream.
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 10:21:43 AM
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Speaking from personal experience, I am one of those people who likes to send lots of extras....not because I expect them in return, but because it makes me happy. I get very excited when I find things that I think my swap partner will enjoy. That said, I have never done a swap when I too did not get lots of little extras as well...I am a lucky girl. I don't think I could do a swap where I was told I was limited in what I could send...it's just not my style. We just need to remember that it is not a contest, and everything is coming from someone's heart.
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 12:16:38 PM
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I agree with you Tammy and I understand how Joan is feeling too. But half the fun is delighting
some one when you can do the extra's. I am a person that only does a couple of extra's like
Joan mentioned because that is all I can afford to do...but I am against telling someone that they
can't do what their heart dictates. I have also had times where I could barely afford the mailing
and any extras was out on that swap. Remember that the Swap Item itself is your only obligation...
The Extra's (if you can send them out) is the frosting on the cake but not expected at all.
Let's just give as our heart and pocketbooks dictate. And don't feel guilty if you can't go above
and beyond your Swap Obligation. I know for a fact that Tammy has a huge giving heart...I have
been the blessed recipiant of her generosities. I don't think she has felt slighted by me. She
just gives because it blesses her to do so. There are many on the Forums who can...lets not
ruin their fun!
Live Loved,
peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
When I was a lonely wallflower, Jesus asked me to dance. Then he asked me to be His! |
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 12:28:07 PM
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Slighted....no. Delighted yes! Peg is one of the most lovely, generous swappers I have ever had the pleasure of swapping with and her friendship is the "extra" for me! Of course, she went above and beyond with our swap and everything in my stocking was wonderful. Another thing is that a lot of us like to craft and collect. Many things I send are things I make, or things I already have in one of my "collections"....so I don't just go out and spend like a madwoman. I have never once participated in a swap that I felt slighted by....the only time I've felt slighted is when I've sent something and don't even get a thank you or even an acknowledgment that it was received. That is being slighted!!! Again, give with your heart and you will get back your gift many times over. My farmgirl friendships are the gifts I truly cherish!!!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 12:46:53 PM
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Joan,
I get what you are saying and had been there myself.
As time went on, I have learned as Peggy had mentioned above.
I rarely do "tucks" and had felt guilty...key word "had".
It isn't that I "don't" want to do the tucks, it usual is because
I am unable to. I get excited in completing my obligation part of the swap.
It is my goal now that when I join up in any of the swap is to start on
it right away and finish before the due date. Also I only do one at a time,
so that I do not fail on my end and disappoint the farmgirl that I am swapping with.
I have been on the both side of this coin. It taught me great lessons. It hurts on each end.
Tucks are something that the giver delights in surprising the receiver. It delight both!
So... if you get something more than you expected... it should simply brighten your day,
possibly at the very moment you needed that little happiness. For me, tucks or no tucks...
I am really happy to have the expected "swap" arrive at all.
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My Blog: following my heart, dreams and Jesus ~http://karrieann-followingmyheartandjesus.blogspot.com/
My Etsy: Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures ~http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 4:18:05 PM
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Well said ladies. I think that you all have valid points. First and foremost a farmgirls obligation should be to complete the swap that they signed up for and mail it out BY the DEADLINE. Anything extra is just that.....extra!
AND...
If for some reason a situation arises and you can not meet a deadline or fulfill your end of the swap then SIMPLE COMMUNICATION is all that is needed to set things straight!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2012 : 10:18:55 AM
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well said laurie
i agree COMMUNICATION IS KEY
but i love giving extra delight to a swap
and never except anything i just enjoy
the swaps so much...
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2012 : 5:59:59 PM
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bump
Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings! ~Author Unknown
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7583 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7583 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2012 : 7:37:55 PM
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thanks for the wonderful ideas on swapping..I know that I have been in swaps and have received some with extras, It is fun to open all the extras but I enjoy it even if there aren't extras. some have put in tea bags or stickers I love having a cup of tea with my swap partner that way. I also learned that it is really nice to get a little card in the package from the swap partner. It makes me feel closer to my new friend. I have met alot of friends on this site.
Thanks everyone.
darlene
"When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life or in the life of another" Helen Keller |
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soapmommy60543
True Blue Farmgirl
2197 Posts
Ann
Oswego
IL
USA
2197 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2012 : 02:38:22 AM
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I've been a host and a swapper many times, and I have to say that I agree COMMUNICATION and COURTESY are the most important things. As a host, I've accidentally set mail out dates and deadlines on Sundays. Obviously, you can't send a package then, so if I can't mail out on Saturday, I always let my partner know the package will go out Monday. I also let her know on Monday that it went out, and I always say thank you when my package arrives. I've gotten some really amazing things over the years, and I'm so grateful whether someone includes tucks or not. There have been times that it was all I could do to afford the postage and a tea bag. There have also been times that I was able to do a little more. I agree that it should be up to the sender what they send, and I've tried to include a little blurb in the initial invite for a swap that tucks are *OPTIONAL*, so no one's feelings get hurt. I think everyone would agree that we just want the fun of sharing something we made ourselves with love with someone we care about.
Wife of terrific hubby and mom to 2 teenagers, 2 bunnies, 2 geriatric goldfish, and the best dog in the world!
Check out my blog: http://www.suburbanprairiehomemaker.com
and follow me on Facebook (Suburban Prairie Homemaker), Twitter (@sphomemaker), and Pinterest (Suburban Prairie Homemaker)
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2012 : 7:09:28 PM
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bumping as this is important
some are not honoring the swaps
and its unfair.
Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings! ~Author Unknown
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2012 : 9:40:09 PM
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Always a good subject to bump up Deborah....the problem just keeps going on and on. So unfortunate for those that always follow through. I just don't get it!!!!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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jenne.f
True Blue Farmgirl
643 Posts
Jenne
Wagontown
PA
USA
643 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2012 : 04:09:40 AM
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Deborah and Farmgirls.
Thank you for this thread. As a new farmgirl swapping can sometimes be confusing. I want to participate, but I want to get it right the Farmgirl Way.
Many Thanks
Jenne
"Follow your bliss"
Farmgirl sister #4616 |
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2012 : 1:41:55 PM
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hi
i think if you follow thru and make your best effort its all
anyone really wants..no one wants FLAKERS.[V].other swap sites
ban them from swapping.its unfair and hurtful to all those
who truly enjoy swapping and making friends. 
Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings! ~Author Unknown
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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Edited by - debtea2 on Mar 09 2013 1:27:14 PM |
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KatTylee
True Blue Farmgirl
230 Posts
Katrina
Mitchell
Nebraska
USA
230 Posts |
Posted - Oct 13 2012 : 4:07:57 PM
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Thanks for this ladies. I've participated in a couple of swaps now. I've had great partners. I hope they feel the same toward me. I must say though I've run into a couple of hang ups with the reply portion of the e-mails. Sometimes after someone e-mails me through MJF and I reply to them it doesn't seem to get to them. Not sure what is going on there. I think this was more of a problem in a barter than a swap but that might be something for some gals to check. Make sure you try to get ahold of your partners/hostesses two or three ways as this electronic communication doesn't always do the trick. :)
~"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde~
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2012 : 6:28:55 PM
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I like to think that all swaps are fun and
i learn so much ..
giving extras is entirely up to the person..
there is rule about it unless it is stated in the swap.
the only thing is that not to honor a
swap is not nice.. and not following thru is mean
Remember the tea kettle - it is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings! ~Author Unknown
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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Edited by - debtea2 on Mar 09 2013 07:54:50 AM |
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fille de ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
2344 Posts
Madeline
Meadow Lands
Pa.
USA
2344 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2012 : 03:05:37 AM
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AMEN Deborah !!! Lets try to keep this posted at the top of the line ;)
KEEP A SMILE IN YOUR HEART... |
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Beth Jones
True Blue Farmgirl
3196 Posts
beth
tallassee
alabama
3196 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2012 : 07:09:20 AM
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Honestly, extras are nice, but not necessary for me. I just would like whatever the swap is to be nicely and neatly done with effort extended and pains taken to create a sweet item. Of course, I am extremely appreciative of everything I receive, but extras get expensive and with shipping costs, well it does cost more...and by all means honor your swap!! Smiles, Beth
You can never be to kind! |
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treelady
True Blue Farmgirl
2306 Posts
Julie
Medina
ND
USA
2306 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2012 : 09:08:55 AM
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Oh, I so agree with you ladies. I love giving extras, but first and foremost I appreciate all the creativeness that goes into the project and the shipping out by the chosen date. It is after all getting to "meet" new friends and sharing our creative endeavors.
A little rain can straighten a flower stem. A little love can change a life.
Max Lucado |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7583 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7583 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2012 : 09:37:36 AM
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Yes I love meeting new friends and if I send extras it is because I can at the time. Not always but I love doing it and like to make others happy just doing it.
I do try to make it to the other person on time too.
hugs
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer |
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fille de ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
2344 Posts
Madeline
Meadow Lands
Pa.
USA
2344 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2012 : 3:07:10 PM
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I agree with Beth & Julie ;) The extras are nice but it is not necessary. I do appreciate them but I am just as happy with the craft & it arriving on time & in one piece ;)
KEEP A SMILE IN YOUR HEART... |
Edited by - fille de ferme on Oct 27 2012 3:07:43 PM |
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*Farmgirl Swap: Swap Etiquette |
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Swap Etiquette
