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Here's to Your Health:  Caregivers Chat and Encouragement  |
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BonnieBlue
True Blue Farmgirl
67 Posts
bonnie
amite
LA
USA
67 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 11 2010 : 7:13:51 PM
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Good Evening Ladies,
In my state "The Council On Aging" has a program that we are in. Thank goodnes for it, we get 120 hours a year for help. No cost to us, they use Grant Money. July 1st- June 30th is the time frame. So we are using 5 hours on every other Tuesday.
This afternoon, was not a good time. My husband was having a hard time getting up from his shower chair and I had the cloth belt around him and I was also having a hard time getting him up. I could feel pains in my lower back. We, of course, did finally get him up from the shower chair and I snapped at him and said "that I was doing the best, I could do and if things did not get better, he was going to end up in a Nursing Home".
Have any of you other caregivers done that to your Love Ones? Snap at them and say ugly things to them.
I just get at my Wits end sometimes. I still Love my husband very much, but just hate the disability and the feelings that my life is just passing me by.
Thanks for your help and comments. We all just have to keep on going.
Bonnie |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 11 2010 : 10:18:38 PM
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Bonnie, I am so sorry. It sounds like a pretty tough day. You are human and when we are stressed and frustrated, and hurting it is easy to snap and lose our patience! There is a line from a movie I love-'Words spoken in anger are never from the heart'. If you can, openly share with your husband, keep communication open, both of you share your frustrations, hurts, and fears about what is going on. Every caregiver, every 'patient' loses their patience, and gets frustrated. I assure you, the caregivers in longterm facilities have their moments too. As I did as well thruout many years of doing it as a career. Try to not beat yourself up over it too much. Talk about it and remember that tomorrow can be a new day! I pray it is an easier one for you! Blessings, linda also, take care of yourself and your back! Would your ins cover the rental of the mechanical lifts that pull a person up to standing position, then lower to seating? That might help you both?
Country at Heart |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 05:51:10 AM
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Good morning (I hope) -- I was out of the loop yesterday.
Yes, Bonnie, I have done that. We had an "explosion", as I call them, just the other morning. Frustration and exhaustion get overwhelming sometimes. And that feeling of the endless same old thing that you described as life passing you by. I do apologize later and we try to talk about it and what could be done differently to help. Men usually like to problem solve and it seems to be in their nature. Just because you vent your frustrations doesn't mean you don't love someone. Everyone has their limits, I don't care what some people say. I am trying to remember to walk away (sort of like the counting to 10 thing and take a few deep breaths) but sometimes what I'm really thinking just slips out. I also know that the loved one probably forgives in their heart even if they can't talk or express themselves well. Not that blurting things out like that is the best thing to do, but as Linda says, it happens. I forgive you, I know your loved one probably does too ... and we must learn to forgive ourselves. Caregiving is the toughest job in the world. |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 09:54:38 AM
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Good Morning to all, I hope things are better for all today. Caregiving is absolutely the toughest job in the world, no matter what the situation is!! I hope you ladies are ok today. Blessings, Linda
Country at Heart |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 09:57:22 AM
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| Thanks, Linda. I'm okay ... just too darn HOT. Even the cats are a bit out of sorts with the weather. :-( |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 4:39:13 PM
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It is disgusting hot!! Gosh!! I hope the day went a bit better for all! Chat tomorrow. Blessings, Linda
Country at Heart |
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BonnieBlue
True Blue Farmgirl
67 Posts
bonnie
amite
LA
USA
67 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 6:51:30 PM
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Hi New Friends,
Someone ask on the chat about us having a lift to help. Yes, we have a Hoyer lift, but cannot use in bathroom, not enough room. Today was a better day, I had to take the Van and have tires rotated and then to store to pick up a few things. A few hours by myself was nice. Raining here tonight.
Oh, 1 very nice thing happen this morning on my way to town, was a beautiful rainbow in the sky, so when I saw the rainbow, I thought this will be a better day. |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13628 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13628 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2010 : 7:01:14 PM
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Hi girls,
Linda invited me to check this thread out . . . just now getting around to it. Life is overwelming!!! I certainly can empathize with all of you caregivers.
I won't get into the nitty-gritty here . . . there are several pages of the situation I'm dealing with in "Hogs, Quiches and Prayer Round-Ups" and it is titled "MY SIS . . . FRUSTRATED TO TEARS". I know about the exhaustion, strain and stress, challenges and times when you've had it up to over your head.
I've been off for 2 days, will work a 12 hr. shift tomorrow and then off again for 2 days. I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much other stuff going on that I can hardly keep up. Never a moment to get bored.
So, I read and I understand . . . and I pray for all of you . . . for us!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
From my Hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 04:18:57 AM
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Welcome, CeeJay -- I believe it helps all of us to know we're not alone. I think caregiving can make you feel so isolated. Well, in many ways it isn't just a feeling ... you are isolated ... for various reasons.
Bonnie -- Getting out and doing things alone sometimes makes me feel better too. Even just a small break and change of scenery. Doing anything 24/7 becomes a real drain after awhile.
We've had rain storms the past several days and a couple of inches of much needed rain. But it's still pushing 100 during the day and sooooo miserable. However, the cloud cover has helped a bit. I think next week we'll finally get a break and a drop into the high 80's. Woo-hoo.
I hope everyone has a blessed day. Loved the rainbow story, Bonnie. Little things mean a lot. It's a lesson to be learned.
Take care, ya'll, and I'm thinking about you ... wish I could be there to give everyone a big hug.
Carole |
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BonnieBlue
True Blue Farmgirl
67 Posts
bonnie
amite
LA
USA
67 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 12:18:27 PM
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Hi All,
Today is a much better day, finally got husband to get out and go with me to town. Did a few errands and picked up lunch. Just have to make him get out, I know it is hard on him, and makes him weak, but I do enjoy having him go with me sometimes. A friend of ours came and disked and rowed my Fall garden spot, yesterday for me. Now I have something to do outside, that I like to do, instead of cutting grass.
I hope others of you are having a good day today too.
Bonnie |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 3:15:24 PM
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Hi Bonnie --
I think it's good for everyone to get out and about now and then even if it is tiring. The change of scenery does a person good.
Having a pretty good day but it is verrrry hot here. Heat index is 103. Not much fun to be outdoors and they are advising against it.
I love gardening too and consider it essential for my mental health as a caregiver. :-) I am gardening in containers at the present time. I need to mow my lawn in the next couple of days so will try to get it done early in the day while it's a bit cooler. Every little degree helps.
So glad for your good day. And so glad to get acquainted with you.
Carole |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2010 : 07:26:54 AM
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Good Monday morning all --
I slept in and am running behind so just wanted to send my greetings and hopes for everyone to have a good week. Hope everyone had a good weekend too. It's a bit cooler here and I'm loving that.
Carole |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2010 : 4:46:54 PM
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Hi everyone! Glad to see you here C J! Had the grandkids this weekend so I have been out of the loop past few days. Soooo glad that days have been somewhat easier! And, for most of us I think the weather has cooled down some, thankfully! I pray that the week goes well for everyone. Take care, linda
Country at Heart |
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Mommyswanson
True Blue Farmgirl
463 Posts
Laura
Waukegan
IL
USA
463 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2010 : 1:44:16 PM
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Hi All!
Just found this thread. My husband & I are the caregivers to my 96 year old Mother-In-Law. Well, I guess our kids are too they are 12 & 9 & we all live with Grandma & have my whole marriage :) Grandma is in the early stages of Alzheimer's. She is a tough cookie though & still goes out to do yard work & has her bedroom on the 2nd floor so walks the stairs several times a day. Had never been sick until 2.5 years ago when she had colon cancer, came through the surgery cancer free but the stress of the experience really kicked in the alzheimer's!! All was well & we had a routine down until last Tuesday when she fell outside & broke her hip (she was out without her cane) feel so bad because I was the one home with her. She spent 3 days in the hospital & now is at rehab where she is miserable. She just wants to come home but we are just not prepared for that until she can walk with a walker better & begin to do stairs. The stress of this has caused her Alzheimer's to spiral. We go to visit everyday usually after dinner.
Gosh... guess I just needed to tell our story. Keeping all of you in my thoughts & prayers. Take Care!!
Laura
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2010 : 1:57:01 PM
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We are happy to listen to caregiver's stories here. Not happy that the stories are what they are, but happy to be a place to listen and vent and problem solve, if possible. And, of course, pray.
What I can say is that we do understand. Thanks for sharing, Laura. Keep us posted on how things are going.
Carole |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2010 : 11:41:09 AM
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Welcome Laura! I hope things are getting better for her and your family. How is everyone doing these days? It is my grandaughter's bday party next weekend. We are getting my mom and bringing her out here for a few days and I am already stressing some! She is such a difficult person to be around! One day at a time right ladies? Blessings, Linda
Country at Heart |
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Mommyswanson
True Blue Farmgirl
463 Posts
Laura
Waukegan
IL
USA
463 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2010 : 12:40:27 PM
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Thanks everyone. My mother-in-law was rushed from the rehab center to the ER last night with bleeding issues. Not sure of the exact cause yet but it is presumed to be from the GI tract & at least partially caused from the blood thinners given after her hip surgery to prevent clotting. Please keep Wilma in your prayers. Thanks!
Laura
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2010 : 12:49:16 PM
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One day at a time for sure, Linda. I'm praying for a good day for you all and a very happy birthday for your granddaughter. Things have been okay here. We go to the doctor this Tuesday at Vanderbilt and that trip is usually a big stressor. Hoping for a good trip and the full, unhurried attention of the neurologist.
Carole |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2010 : 12:55:04 PM
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Praying for Wilma. Keep us posted.
Carole |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2010 : 7:22:10 PM
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Yes, Wilma will be in our prayers! Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
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Mommyswanson
True Blue Farmgirl
463 Posts
Laura
Waukegan
IL
USA
463 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2010 : 07:09:19 AM
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Just to let you know, this morning's endoscopy shows that Wilma has a bleeding ulcer, the lesser of all the possibilities that the Drs had propsed. Thanks for the prayers. She's asleep for a few hours now, so we are off for some family time over breakfast with our kids.
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2010 : 07:34:31 AM
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Great news, Laura. So glad to hear it.
Carole |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2010 : 12:20:42 PM
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Laura, thank you for sharing! Take care everyone! Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2010 : 2:31:02 PM
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Hope everyone had an ok weekend?! Blessings, linda
Country at Heart |
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csmartyonline
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Carole
Clarksville
TN
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2010 : 3:13:49 PM
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Pretty good, how about you? Hubby goes to the neurologist at Vanderbilt on Tuesday. WE could use some prayer for that ... a lot of wisdom is needed, both for the doctor as well as for us.
Take care everyone,
Carole |
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Here's to Your Health: Caregivers Chat and Encouragement |
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Caregivers Chat and Encouragement
