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Across the Fence:  Need your opinions, feels like I'm right, but....  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:17:17 AM
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My husband is always raving about my baking skills, specifically my pies, to anyone who will listen--which is very flattering  On Monday, he asked me to make my Sweet Potato pie for a work gathering--I was happy to oblige.
It's an old family recipe (from my great-grandmother's nanny), from Louisiana. The recipe is a simple one, as the old ones often are, but it has a little "extra" something added, from the woman who originated it, "Thomasina". She was Haitian, or Dominican, I'm not sure, but she was a freed slave and the "special touch" she put in there tells me "about where" she came from before she was brought to this country. A clue to her heritage. And, so, to me, this "recipe" is MORE than a recipe. It's a direct connection to my heritage, to my history and to women I've never known, except through making this pie. I KNOW them when I'm mixing it, rolling the crust and hand grating the spices.
So, the Chef at the restaurant loved the pie (with an exception--a butter crust instead of lard/crisco) and wanted my recipe. Hounded me for the recipe to serve at the restaurant--friendly needling. But I said, "no..."--not in an unfriendly way--just, "no". Because, in my head, the only person who will get this recipe is our daughter, Violet. It's part of her inheritance, so to speak. To carry on this wonderful tradition the women of my family have entrusted to me.
Last night, when my husband went to work, the Chef was still hounding him for the recipe--to the point where (he, the Chef) sortof mocked me and said, "Noone HOLDS onto recipes anymore--they're not sacred, they're just ingredients." And I'm thinking, "if you're a Chef, trained at the Culinary Institute of America, why don't you get your own darn recipe for Sweet Potato pie if it's not a big deal....why does he want mine so badly?"
I tried to tell my husband that giving him the recipe was like giving him my godmother's diamonds. This guy wouldn't call it "Thomasina's Sweet Potato Pie"....he would just call it Sweet Potato pie and give it some sort of half-hearted description on the menu.
Am I being stupid? I mean, it's not like I get anything out of my pie being on his menu. And when he leaves, he takes Thomasina's pie wherever he goes and it becomes just "pie".
Girls, I can count on you for an honest opinion...Have you ever given a guarded family recipe out? Am I just being a simpleton? My husband seems to understand, but I know he's thinking it would be great to have this pie showcased somewhere. I'm no glory-hound--I like the joy that comes from making it for a gathering and sharing the love of this pie.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:24:08 AM
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Stick to your guns I am with you if he is so great make your own.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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SarahJ
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Shreveport
Louisiana
198 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:28:45 AM
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DO NOT give it to him. First, it is yours to keep. Second, he wants it so he can profit from it, with no investment of his own...he wants you to give him something for free that he will use to make money for himself. He is trying to bamboozle you. As a chef, he knows that recipes ARE in fact held on to. Otherwise, wouldn't he would post his recipes on the menu so people could make his food at home?
I will never give out most of my family recipes, because my mom has made a living on her homecooking, and I know if I am ever hard-up for money, I can sell a few of her pies here and there.
Special recipes have a deep emotional connection to a family. They are our traditions, they set us apart, and they are a little piece of something special that you get to hold on to. This guy is just frustrated that he can't con a money-making pie out of "clueless home cook." Don't let him get to you!
SarahJ
Farmgirl Sister #116
http://bayoumama.wordpress.com/ |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:35:59 AM
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i have to say, i agree. and your explanation was so charming. i hope you will print it out and include it with the recipe when you give it to violet.
i could be wrong, but it seems i have heard of folks "selling" recipes that they have developed in their businesses. how would you feel if one day the recipe you gave him, he sold to a chain restaurant. i think it is your recipe and you can do what you want with it. i'm witha ya.
love
frannie in texas
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
www.angeltree.etsy.com
check out the farm at:
www.localharvest.org/farms/M24434 |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:48:46 AM
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Keep it, it is part of your heritage. He can get his own recipe, he is a chef isn't he? Pass it to your daughter and tell her to guard it and keep it also.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
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farmallgrl
True Blue Farmgirl
483 Posts
Angela
Westminster
MD
USA
483 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:50:08 AM
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My step-brother owns a restaraunt and he is always "hounding" me for my Great-Grandmas red velvet cake recipe. (no relation to him) I will not give it to him because as stated before, he is making a profit on something he is not investing in. My step brother and I are very close, but this is a special family recipeto me. So we have compromised, Once a month I make him 2 cakes to serve. He pays me for the cake and then charges his customers by the slice. It works for him, because it is something he can advertise as "special" but not a staple to his menu.
I agree to NOT give the recipe.
Angela
Farmgirl Sister #337
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delicia
True Blue Farmgirl
917 Posts
delicia
cincinnati
ohio
USA
917 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 07:56:23 AM
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I love your explanation but, think of how many people will not get to savor the pie or even if the chef is not respectful would the patrons be and enjoy the history. I just loved your story and got a lot out of that. I understand about people making money and our heritage but, if we do not share our heritage and stories will it ever matter to anyone? I love history and learn so much from others and want to continue to learn. I am not sure how I feel and hope that this is not out of line with what you are thinking.
delicia |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 08:14:48 AM
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Jonni if you give him that recipe he can use it or sell it because it is not protected. I want you to stop and think about say - Mrs. Field's Cookies, someone is making a fortune off those, and Paul Newman and his salad dressings etc. Recipes are a commodity and he is trying to take you. People sell recipe books for goodness sake and people make a fortune off them. If he is a trained chef he should be able to make his own Sweet Potato Pie.
Farmgirl Sister 572
When manure happens just say "WOO HOO Fertilizer". |
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tea_lady_tammy
True Blue Farmgirl
1485 Posts
Tammy
NE
USA
1485 Posts |
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vegetarian farmer
True Blue Farmgirl
249 Posts
Jane
Freedom
pa
USA
249 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 08:36:46 AM
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I agree, do not give him the recipe. Some recipes are so guarded commercially that the recipe is only give to two people-two halves of the recipe. So no one ever knows the full recipe. With my husbands business we know hundreds of chefs in our area. My husband is not a chef but a member of the local chef chapter and we attend meettings and dinners with them. In our area I can say that our chefs have become very LAZY!(not all, but a lot) They make the same old things and when I ask for a vegetable dish they have no idea what to make - and I end up with pasta. Four years education, apprectiships, 20 + years in the business, and thousands of available vegetables out there and they come up with pasta. So my point is that this chef would LOVE to have a free, no work involved recipe to wow his customers without having to come up with one idea of his own. If he had any pride in what he did he would respect your decision and head into the kitchen to try to come up with something of his own.
Jane
Jane
http://hardworkhomestead.blogspot.com/ |
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BarnChickCecily
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
Cecily
Corydon
IN
USA
673 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 08:42:25 AM
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I definately would NOT give it away either...if he keeps hounding you, that's harrassment!
Farmgirl Sister # 241
www.thebarnchick.blogspot.com/ |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2875 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2875 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 08:57:29 AM
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HA !
Give him SOME recipe, just not yours, & when it doesn't come out the same, you can say.."Well, I don't know what happened..it always tastes great when "I" make it" |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 09:33:51 AM
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Please don't give him the recipe. He just wants to make money off it. Tell him to come up with his own recipe.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 09:34:06 AM
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Don't give it away. If he's such a great chef... he should be able to come up with a great recipe on his own. And I think Lisa's idea is great..... =)
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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Butterscotch Grove
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Melissa
Fairbanks
AK
196 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 10:25:00 AM
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Poor chef - too busy to experiment in the kitchen! Don't give it to him, but make a friendly challenge to come up with something as good. Remind him of the thrill of creating a recipe, which he seems to have forgotten. And people absolutely DO hold on to old family recipes, still. Be proud of his interest, but don't give in.
Melissa
My blog:
http://ButterscotchGrove.wordpress.com |
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Laila
True Blue Farmgirl
273 Posts
Laila
Kutztown
PA
USA
273 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 10:31:51 AM
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Hang on to it. It is your family heritage. Don't give it up! You are so lucky to have that piece of your family history.
Laila |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 10:38:15 AM
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I'm on your side too, jonni. I have a couple treasured recipes from my Danish grandmother that I keep in the family...As for him mocking you, what a jerk!
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 11:47:27 AM
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I like Lisa's idea. lol
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 11:56:53 AM
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Well, girls, thank you so much for confirming what my gut (and my heart) tells me. I'm really not overly concerned about his motives because, well, I wasn't very much leaning towards giving it to him to begin with. It IS really important to me to have something like this to leave to Violet. I remember my Great Grandmother, Theodocia, standing in her housedress in that long, galley kitchen with all the white porcelain enamelware sink and pans, making a Sugar Cream Pie (that I've never been able to find a recipe for because she didn't write it down) and I'd like for Violet to have "sensory" memories, too--I am descended from wonderful cooks (and hopefully, she will be one, too!). And Lisa, what a hoot!
Karin...yeah, that sort of "fixed" it for me, too. He can make fun, trivialize me and my feelings all he wants to...it just keeps him further from the pie recipe :)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 11:58:25 AM
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I say if he is a Culinary Chef, let him figure it out. All that education should be worth something. I would put a price so high on it that he couldn't afford it too!! It's yours to do with as you see fit.
Betty in Pasco |
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missmuffcake
Farmgirl in Training
45 Posts
kendy
modesto
ca
45 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:01:51 PM
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I have a little vegan baking business here and I have worked to develop my recipes over the years. I often take my stuff to potlucks and I have had people ask me for the recipe, I tell them "no, this is my dream, my love"...People often do not get it, are to 'cheap' to buy my stuff and will stack plates full of my stuff at the potlucks and give me the evil eye. Since I do not have a store front at the moment (working on that) people think that my recipes are not a big deal...When you go to your fave place to eat - do they bring the recipes for your dish with the check? Nope!!!
I think in the future you can maybe do a home business with your pies, sharing the love but keeping the vital info close at heart!
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http://www.missmuffcake.com/ |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:08:34 PM
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Kendy, that's (one of) my dreams, actually...a pie kitchen. All kinds of pies, savory, too, like the ones I ate living in Cornwall, England. So, ultimately, there is a goal for these recipes and family keepsakes...Wish you lived nearby, I'm a huge supporter of small businesses, especially ones run by gals of the baking inclination :)
Like you, I really love to share my food and the love that goes into with people. Maybe just not my recipe ;)
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Heather B
True Blue Farmgirl
562 Posts
Heather
Longmont
Colorado
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 12:18:39 PM
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I wouldnt give the recipe away. No should mean No. I'm sure if the tables were turned the chef would have told you no if it was something special. So don't worry!
Heather
P.S. Lisa your idea is a winner!
http://homesteadincity.blogspot.com/
"Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty"
Farm Girl Sister #662 |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
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Across the Fence: Need your opinions, feels like I'm right, but.... |
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Need your opinions, feels like I'm right, but....
