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 Channah's good clean joke of the day.
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl

6784 Posts

Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts

Posted - May 14 2010 :  10:33:41 AM  Show Profile  Send maggie14 a Yahoo! Message
I'm so glad you liked it Megan. :) Here is todays jokes. These are real bumper stickers that are found on cars. lol

More Bumper Stickers
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I love cats … they taste just like chicken.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.

Don’t blame me, I’m from Uranus.

Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there’s a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

Hugs,
Channah

Farmgirl sister #1219


Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :)
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl

2701 Posts

Marcy
Tiverton Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts

Posted - May 14 2010 :  11:33:08 AM  Show Profile
Our dear Channah,

Thank you so very much for posting these. My Oreo (my pomeranian) is looking at me as if I have gone and lost my mind because I am laughing so much.

Farmgirl #170

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt

http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/

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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl

6784 Posts

Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts

Posted - May 24 2010 :  12:13:47 PM  Show Profile  Send maggie14 a Yahoo! Message
Thank you so much Marcy!
Here is todays.
Hugs,
Channah

Actual Flubbed Headlines
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge


Farmgirl sister #1219


Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :)
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl

6784 Posts

Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts

Posted - May 25 2010 :  07:05:09 AM  Show Profile  Send maggie14 a Yahoo! Message
Todays Joke!!


Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter,
Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

"Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

"Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes.
The chicken was Dee-licious!"


hugs!
Channah

Farmgirl sister #1219


Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :)
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knittinchick
True Blue Farmgirl

1854 Posts

Megan
Wisconsin
1854 Posts

Posted - May 25 2010 :  3:39:27 PM  Show Profile
Lol! Cute! Channah, thank you for bringing me a little chuckle before track practice!
God's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae

At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal.
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl

552 Posts

Michelle
Lucedale Mississippi
USA
552 Posts

Posted - May 25 2010 :  6:57:18 PM  Show Profile
Very cute! It made me laugh out loud!

It's all good!

http://mscountrygirl.blogspot.com/
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