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Across the Fence: Channah's good clean joke of the day.  |
maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
    
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 10:33:41 AM
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I'm so glad you liked it Megan. :) Here is todays jokes. These are real bumper stickers that are found on cars. lol
More Bumper Stickers 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats … they taste just like chicken.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
Don’t blame me, I’m from Uranus.
Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Hugs, Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
    
2701 Posts

Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2010 : 11:33:08 AM
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Our dear Channah,
Thank you so very much for posting these. My Oreo (my pomeranian) is looking at me as if I have gone and lost my mind because I am laughing so much.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
    
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2010 : 12:13:47 PM
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Thank you so much Marcy! Here is todays. Hugs, Channah
Actual Flubbed Headlines Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
    
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 07:05:09 AM
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Todays Joke!!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"
"Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious!"
hugs! Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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knittinchick
True Blue Farmgirl
    
1854 Posts
Megan
Wisconsin
1854 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2010 : 3:39:27 PM
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Lol! Cute! Channah, thank you for bringing me a little chuckle before track practice! God's Blessings, Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal. |
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl
    
552 Posts
Michelle
Lucedale
Mississippi
USA
552 Posts |
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Across the Fence: Channah's good clean joke of the day.  |
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