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Across the Fence:  Stories from us widow women.....  |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 03 2012 : 08:10:44 AM
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Alanna you are not alone on this - last night it is Cream of Wheat for me with a pear. It is hard at times to get up the excitement to cook just for yourself but I have learned to be kind to myself and not let that get me down. I figure that Cream of Wheat is a heck of a lot better for my body and budget then eating something prefabed from the dollar menu at some fast food. Be kind to yourself and don't judge yourself. One lesson that is complicated is to build a new life by your needs, wants and dreams and not what others say it should be. I am here for you - it has been 15 years since my husband passed and I build a whole new life here and raised my two sons by myself. Now I am considering a whole new adventure maybe in a far away land, Cream of Wheat and all.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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Alanna Neupert
True Blue Farmgirl
66 Posts
Alanna
cabot
PA
USA
66 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 07:04:17 AM
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| Dear Grace-Good morning from the farm! You stated you raised 2 children by yourself, it must have been hard for you. I just started on this journey of widowhood Aug 23, 4 months ago. I'm like to think that I'll be happy again, to be able possibly to share my life with someone down the road. At nite, as you probably know it's the worst. Wind howling across the snow covered fields and roads. Yesterday, I cryed all day. My son stopped in the morning to tell me that overnite the furnace overheated and smoke was billowing all thru the house and he never smelled it. He is a very heavy sleeper, but his girlfriend did. They had 8 firetrucks at the house and all of that commotion to get all of the smoke out of the house. The furnace was ripped out and there will be a new one put in today. Thank God that everyone is okay and that they weren't overcome by the smoke. They must had angels looking over them, I believe. Going to go through my clothes today and take the extras to Good-Will! |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 5:48:30 PM
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Alanna:
I'm so glad your son and his girlfriend are okay. I do believe angels were watching and protecting. I'm sending you a hug. I hope your days get better.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 8:46:10 PM
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Alanna, thank goodness your kids were safe, and by now, there is a new furnace installed!! I am so sorry for your loss....4 mos. isn't all that long ago, hope you managed alright over the holidays.....this is a wonderful thread, have you read it all the way through?? Teresa was truly, so much inspiration and is filled with nothing but positive thoughts and love. She once told me "it doesn't get easier, but it gets better" (think I've got that right), and it does take some time, but things do get better and each one of us is individual in how we deal with this sort of thing.I am so glad to see others responding to this thread, and some of us jumping on again, it does the heart good!
live, laugh, love |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 07:25:23 AM
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Hi Ladies,
I know I haven't posted in ages, but thought I'd let you all know what has been happening in my life. Some of you will remember that my DH's brother was trying to cheat me out of the buyout he had agreed to from the business he and my hubby owned together. Long story short, he paid me nothing for 3 years (my only source of income) I sued him but he is a very slippery devil and good at hiding things so that went nowhere. Now he has decided to pay me about 1/3 of the money monthly. My house was foreclosed on and I was in real mess.
Now, here's the good news part.... After a lot of prayer I left my house which may or may not be sold in a short sale so I might be able to salvage some of my credit (oh, well) I found a very nice little manufactured home in a community about 12 miles from where I lived. They agreed to finance, even with my stinky credit, and I moved in in October>
I Absolutely LOVE living here. My house looks over some woods. It is very peaceful and my neighbors are friendly. A pleasant change from where I used to live. It a nice neighborhood with people of all ages and it is just great. I am fixing up my little house sort of Cottagey with lots of thrift shop finds. The kitchen is terrific and I've been cooking up a storm. All of my family was here for Christmas and we had a great time.
The Lord has used it all for good. I am really happy here and hope to start teaching some of the teenage girls in the neighborhood knitting and baking.
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.etsy.com
www.dreamingofspringtime.etsy.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 07:41:21 AM
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Michele:
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Your good news is wonderful. Your new house sounds delightful. I wish I lived in your neighborhood; maybe I could learn to bake. LOL
I'm also happy to see you again on this Thread. Have a great day.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2014 : 7:17:20 PM
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I tracked this thread down, and am bumping it up, I think there are a few ladies that might need this thread...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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delsgirl
Farmgirl in Training
12 Posts
Suzie
Enumclaw
Wa
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2014 : 9:15:02 PM
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| So glad you brought this back up Tina, I haven't been on this thread for a couple of yrs., in fact, haven't been on MJF for a few years! I am happy to report that after two yrs. of trying to sell my home in Cheney, I was able to do just that, and move back to my hometown of Enumclaw, Wa., and into the same house my late dh and I shared, that was almost two yrs. ago. I went back to work for the same company I worked for before moving, was there apx. a year and a half, and retired the end of April. Sometimes you learn that life is just too short. I keep busy working in my yard, with my flowers, closer to family, have re-connected w/old friends and co-workers and in general am loving life. The five year anniversary of my late dh is coming up in November......there isn't a day that goes by without missing him, still, and sometimes think "why did that happen", but am a firm believer that he, and God, have bigger things in store for me. I so hope all of you are doing well, and those of you that might be new, take words of comfort from all that have posted on here. Marly, I'd really like to know how Teresa is doing!! |
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thebyrdhaus
True Blue Farmgirl
520 Posts
Patty
Columbus
Oh
USA
520 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2014 : 7:40:49 PM
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As I read through these post, though they are dated some time ago, my heart goes out to those who have lost a love one. I too lost a spouse. He passed away of cancer almost 11 years ago. I have since remarried, but there is not a day goes by that I do not think of him and miss him terribly. He was my soulmate and at times I feel his presence. I dream of him often and believe God gives us dreams of lost loved ones as a gift so that we may visit with them again.
Patty #1840
http://ladygonegreen.blogspot.com/
A rind is a terrible thing to waste. Compost.
When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
-Jesus in John 6:12 NIV Bible |
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thebyrdhaus
True Blue Farmgirl
520 Posts
Patty
Columbus
Oh
USA
520 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 11:17:17 AM
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Subject: : “Frank Feldman”
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank.
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won
the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced
like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really
special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday.
He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like
me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could doeverything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I
always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always
immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his widow..."
Patty #1840
http://ladygonegreen.blogspot.com/
A rind is a terrible thing to waste. Compost.
When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
-Jesus in John 6:12 NIV Bible |
Edited by - thebyrdhaus on Aug 15 2014 1:29:41 PM |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 11:25:57 AM
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LOL, Patty...I wish all the ladies who were posting on this thread would come back and let us know how thay are doing, it seems they all quit at about the same time the lady who started this thread did, they were all some very strong women...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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delsgirl
Farmgirl in Training
12 Posts
Suzie
Enumclaw
Wa
USA
12 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 4:22:32 PM
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I wish they would too, we all need to stick together and kind of "watch over" one another. I was absent just because of "life", I guess, as I stated above, was trying to sell my house, had both knees replaced, then did finally sell and moved back to my hometown. I have missed MJF so much, but didn't realize how much until just recently!
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
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sow.hoe.growfarms
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
Ashley
Fremont
Michigan
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2015 : 09:30:18 AM
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Teresa,
THANK YOU! I needed your post. My situation is a little different as my childhood sweet heart and best friend into my twenties is still alive, but he has been gone from my life for 6 years now. We had a terrible falling out, one of which I cannot deny is more then likely irreparable. For the last 6 years I have found alternative ways to cope with the loss, nearly shutting all the pleasant and the not so pleasant memories out.
Recently my husband found himself working with my friend. When my husband mentioned this to me it tilted my world. The memories that I had spent so much time shutting out suddenly rushed to the surface.
I have been seeing a counselor for several weeks now. Apparently, when we humans suffer a traumatic event we are capable of shutting out the memory; a survival mechanism of sorts. When something or someone reminds us of the traumatic event the memory moves through its victim like a run away train. Unfortunately I have used this coping mechanism for quite some time; I mastered the skill growing up as our home was closer to a nuclear facility on the verge of a meltdown. The memory of my friend tripped my trigger and has allowed for bits and pieces to trickle in.
Sure I could sit here and be mad. I could be really mad at myself for shutting down, for not coping, and for feeling now what I should have years before... but I have to imagine I remembered because I am stronger now. Because I am better prepared as an adult then I was as a child. My parents behavior wasn't my fault. I can either be them or learn from their mistakes - I want to learn. Because I understand that while I had a falling out with my friend, and it rippled through our circle of friends leaving me feeling ousted and alone, I'm not alone. I have an amazing husband, who has an ability to be my light in the darkest of places. I want to make new friends. I want to be more forgiving. I want to pick my head up again and smile, even if the world doesn't smile back. I want to heal.
I am grieving the loss of my friend. At one time I thought I would like to tell my friend I'm sorry, but the truth is saying I'm sorry would be opening up an old wound and filling it with salt. If I ever see my friend again, I will smile and say hello.
Thank you for touching on this subject Teresa. Thank you to all of you wonderful girls for sharing. Your posts gave me the courage to do the same. ;-)
Thank you Mary Jane for making this a safe place to share!
"A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people." F.D.R |
Edited by - sow.hoe.growfarms on Jan 21 2015 09:33:23 AM |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2015 : 11:26:25 AM
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Hugs going your way Ashely.
I agree, this is a wonderful topic.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Across the Fence: Stories from us widow women..... |
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Stories from us widow women.....
