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Across the Fence:  Don't know how to say this but . . .  |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 2:55:08 PM
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It's a really long story and I don't want to go into lots of details right now, but I was asked to resign from my job. I didn't do something I should have done, I screwed up, and I have no job for next year. I'll receive my checks for the rest of this contract year, but that's it.
Right now I'm numb. I've sort of figured this was coming all year, but now it did. I'm not sure what kind of job I can find that will pay what I was making. I also have contacted an attorney and he's supposed to call me back, but this is how things stand.
I just needed to share with someone. My dh took it fairly well, considering that without my check (after August) we can't make it. There is absolutely no way. I did not do anything illegal or anything like that, but I did screw up. I own up to that. Anyway, I hope the rest of you won't think I'm a horrible person.
I need to make some phone calls. Thanks for listening.
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 3:04:33 PM
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DARLIN' ... when a door closes .. another one opens. my heart goes out to you at this time in your life .. but i promise you: "this too, shall pass" ... i bet somewhere in all this .. there IS a BLESSING!
i'm hoping you are still coming for that visit this month! hugs to you at this time .. do NOT let it affect your self-esteem. "Crap Happens"!!! hugs, frannie
True Friends, Frannie |
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bubblesnz
True Blue Farmgirl
291 Posts
helen
New Zealand
291 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 3:10:39 PM
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Have to agree with Frannie, another door will open. Sometimes things happen and at the time we dont see the reasoning behind it.
Stay positive and move forward, your not horrible, only human, we all make mistakes. It takes a big person to admit to them!! Something alot dont do.
With your honesty only better things can come your way. :)
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JennyWren
True Blue Farmgirl
201 Posts
USA
201 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 4:25:05 PM
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Hi Patti,
My heart goes out to you... I know this is painful, but things have a way of working themselves out. Thank goodness that you have a check until August.. Honest.. This will help you move forward. I think you are so far ahead of everyone who can not own up to their mistakes. This shows depth of character Patti, and this is a strength many people do not possess.
In January my husband was laid off. He took it extremely hard, at the time we thought we were dead in the water. Life has a way of teaching us things in unexpected ways. It caused us to think in different ways and take stock of ourselves. As it turns out, because of his lay-off he was able to qualify for some additional training, which started a chain reaction of sorts. With the prospect of more training my husband was able to land a far better job.
My purpose in telling you this, is just about the time I think the world is going to end, God shows me that he does watch over us, and that he did give us the ability to find our way in this world. I am sure that you will find this to be true in your own life. Know we are all pulling for you and sending you a giant hug!
This too shall pass .. As my Mother used to say.
Hang in there!
Carla...
If you treat an individual as what he is, he will stay that way, but if you
treat him as if he were what he could be, he will become what he could be.
-- Goethe
www.jennywrensurbanhomestead.blogspot.com/ |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 5:10:19 PM
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It seems that many things for you are changing. though it may seem difficult to see where the road is leading, it definately is leading you somewhere important. keep your eyes open for a new path to be shown to you. Something tells me it is going to be great.
all my prayers to you as you find this new path.
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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Northerngal
Farmgirl in Training
33 Posts
Gale
Iowa
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 5:11:13 PM
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Hi Patti,
I went through a job loss a few years back. It is tough at first, but what I came to realize is that I never really liked that job anyway. Yes it paid the bills, but it wasn't something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I guess I never realized just how miserable I was there until I recovered from the initial shock and began to think about my life and how great it was to not have to get up every day and go to a job I didn't like. Not that it wasn't scary, and I was worried about having to relocate and what would I do with my dogs. I had all but given up hope and was ready to give up everything after going on one interview that was horrible. After being home for about a half an hour and actually saying out loud, I give up I'm ready to leave, I got a call for a job I had applied for a couple months earlier. They weren't hiring at the time, but were now. See, when one door closes, another opens.
At least you'll have some income until August. A lot can change for the better in four or five month's time. What helped me during my time off was doing a few fun things that I never had time for while working. Spending more time tending my garden, volunteering and doing some sewing.
Bet you have a job you like a whole lot more before the summer's over! |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 5:57:24 PM
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I'm back for a bit before setting up for our garage sale (starts bright and early tomorrow morning). I cannot express how much your responses mean to me. Your reassurance, sharing your own experiences -- I know this sounds silly, but I feel "hugged", and that's what I am craving right now.
Thank you all for reminding me Who's in charge and that it will work out, even though that doesn't seem possible to me right now. I'm hanging on to that.
In all honesty, while there were aspects of my job I really, really loved, this past year (since August) has been miserable. I was the head of the local teacher's organization (not a union or anything like that) last year when lots of teachers asked our organization to conduct a survey of what was good and what needed to be improved in the district and at the individual buildings. There was/is lots of dissatisfaction with the head administration and a few principals, and teachers wanted to be heard. I met with the building reps and stated, on the record, that I was not in favor of anonymous surveys, etc., and I did not vote (which I think is normal when you're president). They unanimously approved conducting the survey, and the superintendent and the main assistant superintendent were so angry. It was horrible! They were pretty much slammed in the survey, across the board, and they got pretty nasty about it.
Spring of the year before last, I was selected as Secondary Teacher of the Year, that following year I was the president, and this year every time I turned around I was getting fussed at for something very minor. For example, I was 2 minutes late to class (9th grade advanced class) one morning because I was in the library picking up some audiovisual equipment. The principal (new last year) chewed me out for that, even though I explained that the librarian was having trouble giving me the equipment, etc. He said that didn't matter. It was this sort of thing week in and week out. I knew they were looking for something big enough to fire me. Even knowing that, I did what I did, which was stupid. Even more so, it was wrong.
This past year has just about killed my self-confidence as a teacher and, to some degree, as a person. The teacher of the year award came after being nominated and voted on by all teachers & administrators grades 7-12 (from 3 buildings), going through a screening process with several essays, interviews, etc. Even though my peers nominated me and voted for me, and even though things were going well in that regard, several times this year my principal would tell me that "everyone" came to him complaining that I was "making the rounds" gossipping. The fact of the matter was that I wasn't doing that at all. Knowing they were watching me, I purposely stayed in my room as much as possible, and when I met someone in the hall or sat with them at lunch, I was cordial, didn't talk about anyone or anything other than general chit chat, etc. At one point, the principal asked me if it bothered me "coming to work where you know you aren't liked by your coworkers". Yet everyone was really nice to me and acted as if nothing was wrong. I finally asked (separately) a few close friends at school what they were hearing through the grapevine about how others felt about me and explained why. I told them I needed brutal honesty. Each told me they wouldn't lie, and they said they'd heard nothing negative! I was told by one of the computer techs that the administrators were reading my emails, which is legal and I had no problem with. I wasn't doing anything wrong on the computer. But it was constantly a strain, constant pressure and stress.
I'm not the perfect person. I have my faults, I gossip sometimes, and sometimes I'm downright cranky. I'm certainly not trying to paint myself as some "angel" who has been no fault. I'm human. I have screwed up as often as the next person, if not more. But I'm not a horrible human being or teacher.
Good gracious, I just read over this and it's sooooo long. I apologize, and I thank you for making it through this long post. I want to stress that I should have faced consequences, and I apologized and offered in the meeting with the principal and the assistant superintendent to make up for what I didn't do. I was told that wasn't good enough. So here I am. Thank you so much for your support and understanding, and for not condemning me. I needed to vent here, but please understand that I'm not going to keep bringing this up or whining here about it. I've got to pick up the pieces and make things right as best as I can. Thanks for understanding!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
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TheSoapMaven
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Susan
LA
USA
691 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 6:44:54 PM
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Oh Patti I am sorry. Really sorry. No one here would think you a horrible person. We ALL make mistakes, screw up, get our cart before our horse...we are all human. Anyone that would point a finger needs to examine themselves first. I too am cranky. Have been especailly so lately. And I too have been known to "pass along information"...everyone has. For whatever reason this happened, and maybe you cant see it now, and maybe not for a long time...but things do happen for a reason. And quite frankly it sounded like a horrible work environment. I hope you will keep your chin up. Don't fret. You will make it. Somehow. This maybe the only thing that would happen to lead you to where you are SUPPOSED to be. Big old hugs to you.
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 6:56:56 PM
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Geez Patty...you know, sometimes when you think you've lost, you've really won. Your principal sounds like an ass (and I'm being polite here). What is he, a student?? He's the one that needs to grow up.
At any rate, things will be better...nobody deserves what you've been living. We are all human and have our faults, and we all gossip in some form or other whether we like to admit it or not. Some people get cranky too (not me though, always cheerful...lol).
Hugs to you!
Di
From the Dalai Lama: "If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then also there is no need to worry".
http://www.daisyfarm.blogspot.com |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 7:00:45 PM
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Patti, why would anyone think your a bad person? Things happen, people aren't perfect. Everything happens for a reason, everything. It's just another adventure.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 7:02:06 PM
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Ladies, I didn't cry when they called me in, I didn't cry when I had to hand over my key (in front of students, no less), I didn't cry when I told my husband or my kids. But you ladies have made me cry. Good, cleansing cries. And I thank you. I just can't find any other words right now. Bless each of you for allowing me to be open without fear of condemnation. You have no idea how precious what you've given me is.
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 7:57:26 PM
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Patti, here I go with the vibrational healing again. Surrounding you with green light for prosperity and blue for healing. Oh, and pink for love. Girl, you're a rainbow! I can't wait to hear what wonderful thing life has in store for you now that you're "free"!
Love,
Patricia
Come visit my Etsy store at www.chezPatricia.etsy.com
Farmgirls do it organically! |
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cajungal
True Blue Farmgirl
2349 Posts
Catherine Farmgirl Sister #76
Houston Area
Texas
2349 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 8:29:01 PM
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I agree with Diane....that guy sounds like a jerk. Do you want me to come beat him up!?! I also agree that you're the winner in this.....get away from that ick and start down a new road!
I'm sure you'll be going through a bunch of emotions. Cry, scream, yell and laugh.....go through them all and come out the other side the same great person you are now. I heard a preacher say about problems...."Ya know, we all end up in the belly of a whale like Jonah. What's important is which end you come out of!"
Blessings
Catherine
P.S. disclaimer....if that man ends up beaten, I did not have anything to do with it!
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 8:35:39 PM
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Oh Patti...I KNOW you are a wonderful person...hang in there ..like so many have already said ...good WILL come from this ..you will see. We all love ya...as you can see the wagons are circled and we are there for you!! And we have our own private "bone breaker" in Catherine..haha
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 8:35:52 PM
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Catherine, I love your disclaimer! My first real laugh since 2:45 this afternoon. Thank you
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
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rockinhorse
True Blue Farmgirl
51 Posts
Robin
yucca valley
Ca
USA
51 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 10:58:56 PM
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Patti,
I agree with the others you are a wonderful person and there is definately something better down the road. I to went through something simular five weeks ago and definatly wasnt brave as you are. All I know is that I put up with that kind of drama for three years and I was sick all the time. It was as if the company I worked for was a kind of weird breed. I really felt like a square peg in a round hole. That boss of yours sounds very simular to mine. Try reading a book called "mean girls grown up" by Cheryl Dellasega PhD A wonderful book... Also, I have a teacher friend (bestfriend) and she had students that tried to poisen her by spraying perfumes and all manor of flower products in the carpet of her room.. the plot was to try and kill her as the invesigation revealed. She is sevearly asmatic the priciple and the district did nothing! And iformed her of not pressing charges against the students, finally she took a drop in pay and transfered heart broken, and now she is happier than ever loves her fourth graders and wondered why she didnt act sooner. Same with me I found a better job and now I work with people I like and like me. you too will find your job just put your faith where it blongs and do the foot work and God will deliver the perfect position for you.
Robin
Happiness must be grown in one's own garden! |
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2006 : 11:29:58 PM
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Ever notice how we may not all agree from time to time, but let one of us get wronged and all of a sudden there's a wolf pack!
Hugs all around!
Di
http://www.daisyfarm.blogspot.com |
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9093 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9093 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 05:37:59 AM
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Pattie
Please try and look forward now to a new beginning, and leave the past in the past.I know its hard not to think about all that happened, but maybe a little less each day until thinking about it is not so upsetting. you are in my thoughts. I checked the site first thing this morning to see how you are doing.
NANCY JO |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 05:59:04 AM
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My dd is outside manning the garage sale; in fact, she insisted I come in and relax. She's a huge fan of all those home decorating shows and stuff like that, and she used her knowledge from watching "Clean Sweep" (whatever that is) to price probably 1/2 of the items were selling. There are times having an independent-type dd in the family is really nice!
People began arriving an hour before the start time, and we were busily pulling the tables out of the garage and stuff like that as they were shopping and asking questions. Wow, what a fast-paced morning for this non-morning person.
Ladies, I hardly slept last night, which doesn't surprise me -- lots of stuff running around my head. But I'm going to get past this. I'm going to try to work through as much as I can, mentally, and this week I'll start applying for jobs, checking out options, etc. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but I know it will.
Thank you for all your prayers and warm wishes, and Patricia, thank you for the "rainbow". Please, ladies, keep me in your prayers and thoughts, if you're so inclined. Thank you.
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
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TheSoapMaven
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Susan
LA
USA
691 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 06:50:00 AM
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This may make you feel a little better...you have a big ol' package headed your way...pamper yourself! You know now you have some really good friends here. And Catherine...you live close enough I may call on you. I have offered someone a tail kicking before, hoping and praying they took me seriously enough not to challenge me, knowing full well I could have to run like crazy!!! I always figured they looked at my whole 5 feet and said "well, she either knows karate, or she is crazy...let's leave her be." Maybe now I have back up!!! Never wanted to fight about me...but if there is one thing I cannot abide it is injustice. Well two things...injustice and bullies.
You all have a wonderful day!
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 07:31:55 AM
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Patti, i used to work in a school. i was a special ed teacher. i had a student that was autistic. i was the only one he responded to. i was the kind of teacher that jumped in 100%. if it was time for adapted phy ed, and we were going swimming, then we all went swimming, except the teachers there wouldn't get in the pool. so anyway, i guess i rubbed some people the wrong way with all that hands on teaching. maybe i was snotty, maybe i was good at my job and that made people mad, maybe my hair was the wrong color. jealousy is a nasty little beast and can turn people ugly. And at a school it is worse. i have seen it. why people are like that is beyond me.
My 15 year old son has had it bad as well. He is an outstanding football player, recruited by the top high school in the state etc, but when he played from 4th grade to 8th grade, he never got a complment from his head coach. he did however find fault as much as he could. "did you stop for some cotton candy on the way to make the tackle?" "who taught you to tackle like that, your mom?" and so on. And they wonder why we pulled their star player and send him 35 miles away to a BETTER school. ok so now I ramble. but my basic point is, people can just be mean and you can't do anything about it but get away from them.
Its not a reflection of who you are its a reflection of who THEY are.
And all of us farmgirls know how wonderful you are, never doubt that. jealousy can't live here.
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 08:42:53 AM
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Patti, when I lived in L.A. I worked for a while as a personal assistant for a very famous "manager" in the entertainment business. I worked out of his home. He was completely nuts. He carried a gun and thought he was a private eye. He took so many "prescriptions" I never knew if he'd be "up" or "down". He laid in bed and "worked" from there while his housekeeper who he called "Mommy" rubbed his feet. I really needed that job to support myself and my daughter so I stayed even after he threatened me with the gun a couple of times (for nothing I did - I was there) and one time I didn't think I'd make it out of the house alive. The next morning, I was back. When I finally had to quit because I couldn't take it anymore, he said I was the best assistant he had ever had and he admired me because I hung in there and didn't give up. Sigh. Everybody has their crazy bosses - though hopefully, not that crazy. you'll get through this. In addition to Catherine's assistance, let me know and I'll call Uncle Guido in the Bronx for you if you need it.
Love,
Patricia
Come visit my Etsy store at www.chezPatricia.etsy.com
Farmgirls do it organically! |
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sonflowergurl
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
Katee
Tampa 'Burbs
FL
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 09:09:34 AM
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((((HUGS)))) Patti, ditto what everyone else has said..."this too shall pass". (even though it doesn't look like it will now---check out my quote, it kept me going for over a year!)
Hey, Florida has a teacher shortage, our principal has been in OH all week recruiting...come on down! ;)
Looking Toward the Son,
Katee
The end will justify the pain it took to get us here. |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2006 : 09:13:12 AM
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Patti - I have just caught up on this thread, and, my friend, I am sending you best wishes of the finest, free-est, most creative spring and summer yet. I have some sneaking suspicion that you have a dream waiting to hatch for yourself, and this might have been the universe's way of telling you that you're ready - you're perfect for it - and now is the time!
Wash away those blues with whatever treats that Soap Maven has sent your way (what a sweetheart she is!) and know that you have plenty of support here from people who think you're great.
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2006 : 10:59:58 AM
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This is to very person who responded. I need a day or 2 to get ready for the appraisal (on Tuesday) and get some things taken care of, then I want to respond to each of you individually (and privately, so as not to draw this all out here and clog down the board). But I want you to know that I've printed out all the posts and I find myself picking them up and reading them at different times through the day and evening. I also want you to know that when I start to feel panicky (sp) or "down", I try to list positives and blessings, and you ladies and this site (and MJ and her farmgirls, of course) are one of the top items on my list. I find myself at those times, stopping to say a prayer of thanks for those blessings. So ladies, you're in my thoughts and prayers quite often. You're the absolute best!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
http://happymama58.typepad.com/my_weblog/ |
Edited by - happymama58 on Apr 09 2006 11:00:57 AM |
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garliclady
True Blue Farmgirl
274 Posts
Reidsville
NC
274 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2006 : 1:00:22 PM
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I too used to be a teacher. I know where you are coming from The principal can make a school what it is. I had 2 years back to back that were horrible and thought "am I a horrible teacher???" . The first school was a small private school and after I was hired entusasticly by the principal she was fired the day before school started and I was immediately was on the "outside" because I was hired by "HER". Then as the school year started the new administration thought I was not strict enough and must not be teaching anything because the kids were doing hands on learning and worst than that "Having fun!" I stuck to my style teaching but went home many days crying because of parents or principal. My contract was not renewed and even though I was relived I was leaving I hated the fact that my contract was not renewed ( to me it was like being fired!) The next year I was hired in public school and the principal was glad to hire someone with so much experience because he was in a pinch because enrollment had increased and 2 days before school started.
After the first day the schools enrollment dropped and he really felt he was stuck with me . After the first week I knew things were not right and I seemed to be his scape goat! His biggest complaint with me was "my teaching style was too structured and I needed to be more creative and hands on!" Yep just the opposite than last years school. I again did not change my style teaching
I was being treated horribly by the principal and assistant they were constantly on me giving bad reviews even though the parents, students and other staff liked me and thought I was doing a great job. After such a bad experience the year before my husband encouraged me to quit. I did and imediately felt peace about it. During the rest of that school year I did some substituing in another private Chriastian school and got to spend more time really getting the farm started.
The next year I got the most wonderful teaching job in a Christian school with the best principal I could have ever wanted . The first year I was given all the extra pats on the backs and hugs and encouragement that I needed after 2 horrible years of people tearing me down and making me doubt myself. The parents loved my style of teaching and the kids loved me . It ended up being the most wonderful years of my career. I taught 18 years the last 4 at that school and when I left the parents students and faculty gave me a wonderful party with lots of tears . I left to be a stay at home mom to my new adopted son and pursue our dream of the farm we have now! Hang in there I feel you you are just at a fork in the road and something very special is planned for you. There will be some sadness and weeping (during that time I cried alot ) but Joy did come
love and hugs
My Farm http://home.bellsouth.net/p/s/community.dll?ep=16&ext=1&groupid=140532&ck=
My Recipes http://recipecircus.com/recipes/garliclady/]
My blog http://www.epicourier.com/Garliclady/ |
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Across the Fence: Don't know how to say this but . . . |
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Don't know how to say this but . . .
