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Family Matters:                  Wedding guests   | 
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                 Cindy Lou 
                True Blue Farmgirl 
                      
                2325 Posts
  
                Susan 
                Lonsdale 
                MN 
                
                USA 
                2325 Posts  | 
                
                  
                    
                      
                       Posted - Dec 06 2009 :  08:33:30 AM
                        
                      
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                      I'm in a bit of a quandry. My oldest DD is getting married next June. She will be 29 years old by then and is planning on paying for a good share of the wedding herself. Though she is practical in many areas(we will be growing flowers for decorating, and I'll make her veil)the family she is marrying into has more money and different priorities. Her guy's grandmother is paying for most of a fairly lavish reception, maybe $50 per guest. They are inviting family and our closest neighborhood friends, couples we have known for many years. The wedding will be in a city 50 miles from here, so travel is an issue. But I am unsure how to deal with a couple of issues. First there is the issue of one cousin.  He and his wife both live on disablity income, 100 miles away and have no car or money for travel. DD doesn't plan to invite them, thinking it might cause them to think they need to send a gift they can't afford,  she can hardly say that their presence is gift enough because that would be beyond their budget too. But she IS inviting his sister and her kids who she is closer to. Then there are the friends' children. One has 2, both married and the other has 3, 2 married and 1 seriously involved. That adds 10 people the guest list. We have been to the weddings of one in each family. The kids were playmates as young kids but didn't stay in touch. DH says they will understand there is a limit on how many guests, and I worry that it may be seen as "showing off" that her wedding is so different than their small town practical weddings. Our own wedding was small town and fine
  "You can't roller skate in a buffalo herd..... But you can be happy if you've a mind to. All you've gotta do in knuckle down, buckle down and do it, do it, do it!" | 
                     
                   
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                 1badmamawolf 
                True Blue Farmgirl 
                      
                2199 Posts
  
                Teresa 
                "Bent Fence Farms" 
                Ca 
                USA 
                2199 Posts  | 
                
                  
                    
                      
                       Posted - Dec 06 2009 :  08:39:55 AM
                        
                      
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                      #1) cousins on disability, I would give them an invite and let them bow out or just send them an announcment.#2)The friends kids, There again I would just send an announcment to, since they are no longer close. People understand more than you think, if you are not buddys, they would realize that an invite would not happen, cause if you do, then it would just seem like you were gift hunting.
  "Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" | 
                     
                    
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                 Merry 
                True Blue Farmgirl 
                      
                765 Posts
  
                Merry 
                Ankeny 
                Iowa 
                USA 
                765 Posts  | 
                
                  
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                 ddmashayekhi 
                True Blue Farmgirl 
                      
                4826 Posts
  
                Dawn 
                Naperville 
                Illinois 
                USA 
                4826 Posts  | 
                
                  
                    
                      
                       Posted - Dec 06 2009 :  2:54:25 PM
                        
                      
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                      Sounds like a very fair and practical solution to me! Good luck with it all.
  Dawn in IL | 
                     
                    
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                 Annab 
                True Blue Farmgirl 
                      
                2900 Posts
  
                Anna 
                Seagrove 
                NC 
                USA 
                2900 Posts  | 
                
                  
                    
                      
                       Posted - Dec 07 2009 :  03:50:04 AM
                        
                      
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                      I'll second just sending an announcement
  No obligations there | 
                     
                    
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Family Matters:                  Wedding guests   | 
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