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Family Matters:  Aria's counts continue to tank! *UPDATE 11/14*  |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 7:41:37 PM
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 I was feeling down-right optimistic today thinking that Aria's counts would be trending upward. Everything appeared to be headed in that direction, but we all know that appearances can be misleading. Still, she was fantastic all week long despite very low counts, hard-core chemo a week ago, both flu shots and steroids! She power napped daily and was in fabulous spirits! Soooo today I was almost certain we'd see an improvement and maybe even enough for her to head back to school. She misses her friends.
At the same time I must tell you that I also carried as a companion a healthy dose of ambivalence. Perhaps that sounds strange but it's true. I felt perfectly at ease with whatever outcome was going to come our way...I didn't want to get my hopes up too high nor did I want to despair too deeply in disappointment. It was a perverted kind of peace I had today.
Last week Aria's counts were 480. They should be somewhere between 1000 - 2000. Today they were 220. Fortunately, she is not showing any signs of illness whatsoever. That's the hardest part. She doesn't seem compromised in the least! Still, she can't go to school and she was crushed. Anything less than 500 means the immune system is just too suppressed to be in any public situation. Aria was crushed when I told her. She burst into tears saying, "When will I ever see my friends!! I miss them!!" I don't blame her. She feels fine and yet isn't.
This is the hard part ladies being so close to the finish line. We are indeed so close and yet so far. I feel like we're sprinting but not getting very far. It is a peculiar thing.
Overall, I'm ok. Really I am. I'm disappointed and sad to be sure. But I'm also so completely and overwhelmingly grateful that it isn't any worse. She could have a count of 220, be feverish and in the hospital. As it is, we were flying paper airplanes, playing in the bath, reading, coloring and just generally having fun. It could be better but it could be SO much worse.
It is what it is and I'm so good with that. Still, if you could keep her close I'd appreciate it. We're skirting a fine line, thanking our lucky stars and despite trying to take deep breaths, we're holding them!!
Here's to Aria and here's to you! ~julia
*UPDATE 11/14**
I took her back to clinic yesterday to check her counts again. They have risen to 400. This is certainly better than 220 but still not great...still no school etc..etc... Hopefully with the improvement it shows that she is heading in the right direction. However, all afternoon she had a low grade fever 99.7-100.2 (100.4 gets us a nice trip to the ER) So we were watching her like a hawk. She was punky and put herself to bed twice. CLEARLY, she is dealing with something. I called her doctor and we decided to just watch her and see if she actually spikes a true fever. She had all manner of complaints yesterday as well; aches and pains all over and just a general fussiness. Poor thing. I kept encouraging her to play with her toys but she just either wanted to lay down or watch tv. She is in 'veg' mode for sure.
This morning I checked on her and she's nice and cool! She's got a funky chemo rash on her face that we're watching too. We had our first snow yesterday and she wants nothing more than to play out there. If her temp is normal I'll let her. This is one of "living in the moment" things. Trust me, I want nothing more than to cuddle up with her and make sure that nothing happens. I could get consumed by the anxiety of it all if I allowed myself; "What if she goes outside and something happens? What if she comes in with a fever? What if? What if? What if?" I'm learning to untie that strangle hold. Aria wants to go out and play. If all signs point that she's ok, well then in the moment she is and I'll treat her as such. It's a tough one but I've learned that inhibiting her spirit from soaring "in case something might happen" is not a good thing. Aria doesn't need her wings clipped, she needs me to teach her to preen and then to shine and then to fly.
Here's to today. It will be exactly as it was meant to be..Here's to Aria, working to get better! What a soul she is!! ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com
www.about-aria.blogspot.com |
Edited by - julia hayes on Nov 14 2009 06:14:38 AM |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 8:01:18 PM
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Julia, a big warm sister hug for you and Aria. Things are not always as we wish they were, but we must take joy in the small things anyway...A lesson that I'm trying to learn. It is wonderful that she is not in the hospital and that you have this precious time with her.
I will, of course, keep Aria wrapped in love and healing thoughts. Keeping her close. Sweet blessings to all of you.
Warmth and hugs
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 8:06:53 PM
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Oh Julia!! I am still thinking of you all. Especially if Little Miss Aria.. Bright lights shining your way
Mama to 2
FarmGirl# 20
People can only make you feel inferior with your permission, and you dont have my permission......
Dont let the chain of love end with you.....
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 8:22:38 PM
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 12:05:41 AM
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Hugs and prayers for you and Aria :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Sarahpauline
True Blue Farmgirl
672 Posts
sarah
Ringgold
GA
USA
672 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 04:34:45 AM
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Im sorry to hear that things arent going as you had hoped. Hugs! My thoughts and prayers are with you and Aria.
Not all those who wander are lost...
www.SarahPauline.com
www.AbraxasBaroque.com |
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2701 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 05:54:54 AM
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Julia,
I am so sorry you and Aria are going through this yet again. She is such a special little girl and you are a wonderful mom. Know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers and that you are thought of more than you know. If there is anything at all that I can do, pleast let me know and please keep us posted on how you all are doing.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/ |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 05:58:56 AM
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Julia (and Aria)...
I am keeping you both in my thoughts as I go about my week. I am of the mindset that if her spirit is healthy, then she soon will be, as well. It just has to be. Give hugs to that little girl and tell her healing thoughts are coming from Kentucky!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 07:52:30 AM
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Oh Julia and Aria (and family) I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I am thinking that maybe this is God's way of protecting her. I am a school teacher and our school is just OVERRUN with H1N1 and the seasonal flu right now. Perhaps he has lowered her counts so she would have to stay out of school and would stay safe and healthy otherwise as you have described. We cant understand the master plan and how do you explain that to a child? I have CONTINUED to keep you all in my prayers and will continue to do so. Love and hugs your way!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
3001 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
3001 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 1:59:14 PM
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Julia
I will agree with Jonni.. If her spirits are high, her health will soon follow. That attitude is worth everything! |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 5:13:42 PM
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I was thinking the same as Julia above....the schools are pretty full of flu cases right now..it is likely great that she is home right now...sad for her I am sure though. What a blessing that she is feeling good through it all. I continue to pray for you guys daily!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 6:44:12 PM
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Well all our schools are closed right now due to the flu and have been for 2 weeks so you can let aria know she is not alone there are many kids out of school right now. So maybe it is a good thing she is not at school. She is much better off to be at home. God bless you real good and I will keep aria in my prayers...
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
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Carol Sue
True Blue Farmgirl
4033 Posts
Carol Sue
Washingtonian
USA
4033 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 8:23:25 PM
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Julia and Aria,
Hugs to you both. Yes, we miss our friends when we can't spend time with them whether we are young or older. But the important word is that you are having fun just hanging together. May you have more fun in the days to come.
www.Quitemoments.blogspot.com |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2009 : 9:32:44 PM
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I am sending you both a card asap tomorrow when we go to the post office
Hugs,
Channah
If you can dream it, and if you are willing to put forth the work and effort, you can have anything you envision. |
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gr8tfulmom
True Blue Farmgirl
143 Posts
Sarah
South Haven
MI
143 Posts |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2009 : 07:50:54 AM
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Sending old hippie healing vibes your way. I am so sorry to hear about Aria's counts, could it have anything to do with fluu shots? At least she is feeling well enough to hoot it up at home with you, and you are brilliant to know that is a good thing. One thing about kids, they are so resilient and so full of surprises. I hope you both have a lovely day...
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2009 : 12:51:40 PM
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Julia - sending hugs to both you and Aria. I am so sorry that the counts are way down. Glad that she is not showing any signs of illness though. I will continue to pray for all of you!!
Hugs,
Kay
Handmade Soap, Lotion Bars & More! http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 02:15:00 AM
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Julia - it is good to know that she is feeling well. Praying those counts go up soon. Glad she is home with you.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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4HMom
True Blue Farmgirl
720 Posts
Kelly
Montana
720 Posts |
Posted - Nov 14 2009 : 07:19:43 AM
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Julia...you are an amazing mom and woman! Aria is so fortunate to have you! My grandmother's middle name was Julia and she was a strong woman. I named my youngest daughter Julia...If she has half the strength and wisdom as you, she will do fine. Hang in there and keep being who you are. Positive energy heading your way!
"Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2009 : 9:26:51 PM
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I'm glad to hear her counts are up. we will keep praying that they keep going up too..
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
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Tn.Earthmama
True Blue Farmgirl
451 Posts
Phyllis
Englewood
Tennessee
451 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2009 : 09:07:03 AM
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Julia, Aria is blessed to have such a loving and smart Mom, and you are blessed to have such extraordinary kids!!! Aria is so spunky and tough, glad you let her take the lead, are letting her spirit soar!!
sending healing thoughts and energies. watching for those rising counts. hugs Phyllis |
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Family Matters: Aria's counts continue to tank! *UPDATE 11/14* |
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Aria's counts continue to tank! *UPDATE 11/14*
