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Across the Fence:  Would you ever remarry?  |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 08:34:17 AM
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I'm going to say no. Of course, I had no intention of ever getting married in the first place, and look what happened to that resolution! Met my husband at age 18. Doh!
I think if I ever, God forbid, become single again...I'm going to try to enjoy the experience of being a single adult for the first time. |
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CherryMeDarlin
True Blue Farmgirl
602 Posts
Cherry
Odenville
AL
USA
602 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 08:38:41 AM
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Very interesting thread. I married the same man twice! You've heard of whirlwind romances? We had a whirlwind divorce after 17 years of marriage. And then we came to our senses and remarried the following year on our original wedding date. That was 5 years ago and we just celebrated our anniversary Tuesday. I can say with certainty that if he were to file for divorce again, that would be it. This chicky would be moving on! I don't know about remarrying again though. I really enjoyed my independence while we were separated and the self-confidence I gained from that time. But I'm a homebody and sometimes the loneliness was overwhelming. And I like having a man around because I can be a bit of a tomboy. Well, that's one reason. There are others! I'd just have to leave it up to God. If something were to happen to Brian or if he were to lose his ever-loving mind again, God would just have to be the one to make that choice of whether I spent the rest of my days alone or with another.
~~Cherry~~
http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com
www.cherrymedarlin.etsy.com
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 09:50:52 AM
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Absolutely not. Did it twice already. It's glaringly obvious that my picker-outer is broken. Stakes are higher as you get older. I can't afford to lose my retirement again. And no shack-ups either. I'm really liking the peace I have now!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
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harmonyfarm
True Blue Farmgirl
785 Posts
Debbie
Southeastern
Ohio
USA
785 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 09:56:22 AM
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I married the first time for lust...
I married the second time for love...
If I married again it would be for MONEY!
Debbie
"If you can't find the time to do it right...how will you find the time to do it over" |
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Cabinprincess
True Blue Farmgirl
682 Posts
Melody June
Athens
TX
USA
682 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 10:01:37 AM
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Oh Debbie that is too funny, but an idea. I've done it for love but lust would be an idea if there is a next time! Sorry God, she started it!!
Laughing, Melody June
God's gift to you are your talents, your gift to Him is how you use them. |
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Suzan
True Blue Farmgirl
659 Posts
suzanne
duncannon
pa
USA
659 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 10:12:05 AM
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| I've always said if I get rid of the one I have I would never be stupid enough to do it again....the other day in the grocery store a young checker was bemoaning the fact she wasn't married yet...the older bagger said she did it twice (and divorced twice), that she always was slow learner... |
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 10:13:52 AM
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Men should come in a box with a note, "Some assembly required".
After 30+ years with this one, I'm not about to start assembling another. Nope, no way!!
Oh and for the record, we get along great...neither of us can stand tension, so it's about as perfect as it can get.
Di |
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StarMeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
940 Posts
T
MI
940 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 11:49:20 AM
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| Never ever..ever..ever. Twice is more than enough for me! |
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Futters
True Blue Farmgirl
608 Posts
Michelle & Ashley
CA
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 1:04:40 PM
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Heck yea I would remarry again. Been divorced for 12 years and have not dated as my priority has been raising a beautiful and busy daughter. When she is stable and on her own, then I'm looking for Mr. Right with some $$$$$$. I married for love the first time ('cause god knows he didn't have any money), so I ain't going there again. (HEE HEE)
Have a good day!
Michelle
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
http://thetatteredquiltcottage.blogspot.com/ |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 1:41:49 PM
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Nope - absolutely not! I'm on #3, and like Lisa, my picker outer is not good. I like being by myself and doing what I want, when I want.
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 3:49:17 PM
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i have to agree with kay and lisa, cause i think sometimes my picker outer has a problem....i have been married most of my life, with 2 marriages under my belt.
i always tell husband #2 we have been married 18 years now, which amounts to about 9 of the happiest years of my life. .....we wont talk about the other 9 years!!!hehehehehehe
love
frannie in texas
home of "green"crafts,
where no scrap is left behind
(http://abunnystale.wordpress.com/)
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 4:44:58 PM
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Ist time I had children, very bad marriage I left for the safety of our 2 boys. #2 I married because I thought my sons needed a male roll model. I divorced as he turned out to be a very bad role model, we still loved each other but I choose my kids over him. #3 I still feel thankful he in our lives. He has 1 or 2 little faults but he is a good man My sons like him a lot and he will eat anything I put on his plate, he's just thankful I made dinner. He has 3 girls and for the most part we all get along. Would I do it again?? I said no after #1 and #2 so this time I'll say yes, if he is as good or better than this one who I will be with for the rest of my life and knowing that makes us both happy.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 5:36:58 PM
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Wow! I hadn't any idea this post would go so long! But I loved reading all the replies...which made me want to say a little bit more about my situ.
I have a rotten picker-outer also but somehow this time, I picked a good 'un. A little over 3 years marries and about 7 all told. But someone mentioned that to remarry and deal with inlaws and step-kids that would probably hate you, THAT is exactly why I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind having guy friends to go out with but that would be it, just friendship.
Actually, I'm kind of a loner anyway and enjoy my company so in addition to the above, add this in too. Just flat can't see getting married again.
Winona ;-)
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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khartquilt
True Blue Farmgirl
1176 Posts
USA
1176 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 5:38:33 PM
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I married my first when I was 22. Had my daughter when I was 23. Divorced the *&^$$# when I was 25.
I was single for 18 years. Fell head over heel with Jeff. We will be married 5 years next month.
This one is a keeper. If anything ever happens to him I will never marry again!
Kathy H
Farmgirl Sister #81
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world..." (anomymous)
http://khartquilt.blogspot.com |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2009 : 8:06:56 PM
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No I wouldn't marry again. I have been with my husband for 45 yrs. married for 43. I wouldn't want to have another man. He is a wonderful man, I don't think anyone else could match up. Also for the practiclity. I would not want to loose the retirement pension or SS. I am too independant and like going where I want when I want. I like my own home and wouldn't want to have anyone else around.I sure wouldn't want to be picking up after anyone else or catering to anyones needs and wants but my own.Might sound selfish but it's honest. I hope we are together for many many more years, We are only 60 and 63. So hopefully that will be true. But, I would for sure not want to marry again. Once is enough.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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5 acre Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1007 Posts
~~~*Terri*~~~
WA.
USA
1007 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 08:36:24 AM
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Not now, I am 52, but, 20 years ago when we got reamarried, probably....It is wonderful if both give and take....
Farmgirl Sister #368
"It is most common for man to value most what has least worth."
My Farm and Garden blog....
http://blogonthefarmandgarden.blogspot.com
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junkjunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
1306 Posts
Judy
Lawrenceville
NJ
USA
1306 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 08:59:48 AM
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I never married...but had a few long term relationships. That was a while ago, though. I really never felt the desire to marry and I have no regrets. I've been on my own...apartment for 20 years, and now a house for over six years. I'm very set in my ways and don't want someone to encroach my territory! Lol! ;) If I got into a major relationship now, ideally we would have our separate residences and just get together when we want.
"To have life in focus, we must have death in our field of vision." Benedictine monk John Main |
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Linder
True Blue Farmgirl
592 Posts
Linda
Lake Forest
IL
USA
592 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 09:09:03 AM
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I am currently with the love of my life. I have been married and divorced and have a wonderful 20 yr. old daughter. WOuld I marry again? In a heartbeat when he asks me. I have never been loved so beautifully by anyone in my life. We just bought a little victorian fixer-upper together so this would indicate to me that we're in it for the long haul.
I'm not in any great rush but really look forward to when we make it official.
Is that too old fashioned?
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
www.mylusciousjourney.blogspot.com |
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peapicker
True Blue Farmgirl
716 Posts
texas
USA
716 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 09:14:50 AM
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No, I don't think I would ever want to.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
Robert Brault |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 10:27:09 AM
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i could only do it if my husband died. but if he did I run right out and get another! I love having my 'Other Half'. I believe that we as women were created to be helpmeets or helpers and nothing in my life has been more fulfilling than being a helper to my husband. I could go on and on about how beautiful my life has become since I've started serving my husband and others and not being wrapped up in myself and 'independant'.
and there's this one little story that really wraps it up serving and loving and being joyful for my husband:
so this couple was heading for divorce. things had gotten stale and all there was in the home was ill will and anger. the woman went to a divorce lawyer to start all the paperwork without her husband knowing. She told the lawyer that she wanted this to be so awful for her husband. he had hurt her in so many ways and she just wanted the perfect revenge. So her lawyer told her to spend the next three months being sweet, and kind and sexy and nurturing and loving. Be the kind of woman he fell in love with in the first place. When those divorce papers were all in order and ready to go he would never know what hit him. So, that's what she did. What she didn't expect was that her DH reciprocated all those wonderful feelings and loving gestures even though they came with bad intentions. And they ended up falling head over heels in love again. She ditched her divorce lawyer and they stayed married and were so happy.
Now, I don't know if this is true. But, since I heard that a few years ago, when things are getting a little stale around here, I try my best to be the girl my DH fell in love with. and in no time we're all smiles and kisses. of course, I can't manage this everytime, especially when things are really hard. But, I'm working on it! I just can't imagine how dull life would be without a best friend and play mate :) If my DH were to pass away, I'd jump right back up on that wagon.
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 10:28:57 AM
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I love reading about those of you who got the right one. Whether it's your first go-round or not. Mary Jane, I'm really impressed! 45 years is practically unheard of, anymore.
I also love reading everybody else's reasons for NOT doing it again as it makes me feel better in my own decision to stay single in that I'm not the only woman that feels that way. Mary Jane and Judy really hit the nail on the head about how I feel. I don't want to have to cater to anybody else, pick up their dirty laundry, cook, clean, lose control of the tv remote, basically lose my independence, again. And, territorial is the perfect word for it for how I'm feeling about my house lately. I don't want to share my space with anybody but my dogs, anymore. I like the way I'm getting things set up and everything is in it's place (I can find what I want, when I want it!) and my house stays clean without much effort. IF, and that's a BIG IF, somebody ever comes along that really knocks my socks off...separate residences is perfect!
Linda, there's no such thing as being TOO old fashioned as there is nothing wrong with being old fashioned at all. If that is what makes you happy then, I think it is just wonderful!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 10:43:11 AM
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Well, Caron, I had better get praying about my loneliness. My ex has been married twice since we divorced. He couldn't live alone. I've been alone for 16 years and would like to have some company. However, I don't want to share a lot of things that I have acquired in my singleness and I would expect the same from him. So, in short, I probably wouldn't get married--although a DGF of mine says the fourth time is the charm!
I guess I would go with the person who said that he would have to have his own money. After three divorces--half of nothing is still nothing.
Betty in Pasco |
Edited by - Betty J. on Aug 28 2009 10:48:39 AM |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 10:50:12 AM
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Not no but H E double hockey sticks NO. Been married to a great guy 32 years but I would never, ever do it again.
Farmgirl Sister 572
May the force of the horse be with you. |
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Celticheart
True Blue Farmgirl
811 Posts
Marcia
WA
USA
811 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 1:59:46 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jinia
I love my husband but I sure wish we could afford to each have a small house next to (okay an acre over from) each other.
OK....this is so funny. One of my sisters has told me this twice. One day we were sitting at her house having coffee and she said she was thinking about buying the house across the street which happened to be for sale. I asked her why she and Gary wanted to move...just across the street. She said not for the two of them, just for her. She said "I love the man, I just can't stand to live with him." The next time that house was for sale she told me the same thing.
No I would not get married again. I'm on #2. We've been together 23 years, married for 20 and he is great. He's also 12 years younger than me. I just wouldn't ever do it again. My friends and I have a pact. We will not let any of us ever remarry. Whoever posted about women over the age of 50 remarrying are just signing up to be a caretaker or nursemaid has it right, I think. I'm not saying I wouldn't date, travel with or spend time with a man, just not marry.
It's not about being perfect, but enjoying what you do. Set aside time to be creative.
Robyn Pandolph
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2009 : 4:52:30 PM
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Been married twice myself. The first one ended with his death at 31 (of cancer). Swore I would never, ever, ever do it again (He was not a nice man or good husband and his family??? I know Satan lives and has siblings!) BUT... this marriage is so good and I am blessed. So. one horror story and one fairy tale...I could not trust a third time around since it would probably be something in the middle. I do love being married though.
My quilting and life blog!!
http://downtoearthliving.blogspot.com/ |
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Across the Fence: Would you ever remarry? |
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Would you ever remarry?
