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Across the Fence:  Caregiver Care - CHRISTMAS???  |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 07 2009 : 06:37:49 AM
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Amen! and Amen!!! It is through holding each other "up" that we can have more strength to keep on going . . . it's SO-O-O-O-O good and important that we know we are not alone!! It's been helpful for me to know you farmgals are out there and you understand because of your own challenges . . . and we can encourage each other!!
BE ENCOURAGED FARMGIRLS!!! It's Labor Day . . . and I'm "laboring" in my caregiving job for my sister . . . but I know I'm not alone!!
HANG TOUGH!!!! WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER!!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2009 : 4:53:44 PM
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Today has been the most exhausting!!!  My sister's knees want to buckle with every step . . . I have had to hold her up, stabilize her, do transitions, dress, toilet, etc. etc.
Don't know why she's having so much trouble today, but I'm SPENT!!!!!
It is a GOOD thing that I have the next 5 days off . . .hubby and I are taking a little trip!!!
Hope everyone else out there is holdin' up!!! I'm thinking of you as I go through my tiredness!!!
GOD BLESS!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2009 : 5:29:36 PM
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My dad passed away early friday morning. I woke up at 1 am to give him his meds and I always held his hand when I was near him or doing anything for him. The last 2 days he would wake up saying it's so beautiful, it's so beautiful. I asked him if he saw anyone yet and he said yes I saw John Wassink. ( John was a very close neighbor and friend who passed over many years ago.) I asked dad if he saw Dick Schultz ( He was a life long friend of dads.) He said no not yet, I thought well you have a lot of people on the other side, and it sounded like he expected to see him but he hasn't just yet.
My dad squeezed my hand and I said I love you to dad. Then I straighted his bedding and went to lay down on the couch next to him. I heard him take two more breaths then nothing. I got up and sure enough he was gone but he looked so peaceful, I woke up mom so she could hold him while he was still warm. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
My dad did not want a wake or viewing, He said he didn't want to stress out anyone wondering what to wear. He donated his body to the Universary of Buffalo. He was always giving people something. I am so thankful I was able to be with him and help take care of him. Some days I was so tired I cried just from being tired.
I want all you care takers to know you are doing a very important job. My hat is off to you all. Keep it up as long as you can you will not regret it.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2009 : 5:53:30 PM
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Diane,
I am SO sorry you lost your dad!!! I am glad you were able to be with him and comfort him and your mom. I've lost both of my parents and it is hard!!!
Thanks for being sensitive to caregivers!!!
You hang tough and cherish the memories . . . I'm sure that you will continue to be a true comfort and treasure for your mom!!!
My prayers are with you and your family!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2009 : 9:27:58 PM
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Diane, I was so sorry to read about your Dad's passing. Like Ceejay said, you were lucky to be with him during those last moments, and to comfort him. Hope you and your family are doing okay, be sure to cherish your memories, and also, cherish every moment you have with your Mom.
live, laugh, love |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2009 : 10:25:35 PM
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(((((Diane)))))I am SO sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
ALL the caregivers have my thoughts, prayers and admiration., It is a tough job we/you do.
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Sep 12 2009 : 11:20:55 AM
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Thank-you, My dad was great and it helped me knowing he was going to a much better place, one that is so beautiful even my dad was amazed.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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southerncrossgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
631 Posts
Gena
Harmony
NC
USA
631 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2009 : 07:04:16 AM
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Diane, I am sending a HUGE HUG!
My parents finally moved in this past Friday. So far so good. I am exhausted already though.
The main thing is that they actually seem to like it here. My Dads sits at the window watching all the critters. My Mom mostly sits and watches TV all day.
I am proud to be able to take care of them like they cared for me when I was young.
I know I will have no regrets when their time comes.
"A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes"==Cinderella |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2009 : 09:06:45 AM
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Hi caregiving Farmgirls!!
It was GOOD to have a few days break . . . I'm back at it and my sister is in worse condition than ever. This morning has already been more tiring than any other morning ever.
She is not doing well and we, her hubby and I, are rather discouraged!! Please remember us in your prayers!!
And, you all are in mine . . . it can be rough and tough!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 14 2009 : 9:09:31 PM
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Ceejay, so very glad you got to run away for a few days, and that you enjoyed yourselves!! You didn't need a rough first day back though. I know we all send our love and prayers, remember, we're a "tough lot"!!
live, laugh, love |
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Brenda Kay Groth
True Blue Farmgirl
100 Posts
Brenda
Manton
MIch
USA
100 Posts |
Posted - Sep 15 2009 : 06:47:00 AM
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i have been a caregiver for all of my adult life..and yes you get tired and exhausted and you come to the place where you hate being the one that has to make all the adult decisions in life..and take responsibility for everything..right or wrong.
my husband is mentally and physically disabled from a car accident and a fall afterwards..and he is accident prone so more and more injuries all the time..dr visit today for a broken thumb..he falls all the time..very careless..
so yeah..i know where you are coming from...also cared for FIL dying of alzheimers for many many years..and MIL afterwards..my mom is also 89 and very frail..has a fractured pelvis right now
bloom where you are planted |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2009 : 11:09:19 AM
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Hope all you Caregiving Farmgirls are hangin' tough!!!! Some days are harder than others!!!
After two days of 12 hour shifts with my sister my arms muscles are sore!! Just all of a sudden in the last week she is no longer attempting to stand or walk. So, in trying to accomplish what is necessary with her takes EVERY BIT OF MUSCLE a person has! 
It is also necessary to rethink HOW we are going to routines, make some significant adjustments.
In the meantime, it is SO-O-O-O discouraging. So, it helps me remember that there are those of you out there doing what you do and with challenges that may seem impossible.
Thinking of and praying for you!!!  Hopefully my muscles will recover enough today (day off) to return for another 12 hours tomorrow!!!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2009 : 12:39:03 PM
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Hey CeeJay, sure do hope your enjoying your day off, hope the weather is good and you can get out and just enjoy!! I feel like I have it pretty easy compared to what you're doing!! Every day I try to get outside for 30 min. or so and putz around in my yard, sure does raise the spirits!! As I said, hope your havin' a great day!!
live, laugh, love |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2009 : 8:01:59 PM
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Thanks Suzie!!! I do manage to get out and take long power walks with my dog. I also am very busy sewing on my days off and doing other things such as gardening and papercrafting. I also do some Bible reading . . .and I talk with my adult daughter almost daily. She doesn't live here but we are best friends and each others best fans.
I hope that you are able to find moments for yourself and time to take care of you . . .!!!
Thanks for your encourgement!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 09:14:40 AM
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[b]Hey Caregiver Farmgirls . . .
. . . it's Monday and a new week (for some of us). I'm tired and I'm sore . . . working with my sister just gets more and more challenging and exhausting.
Hope you all are hanging in there . . . that you are doing "okay" and that you are able to find time for YOU!!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!!
CJ[/b]
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
Edited by - ceejay48 on Sep 21 2009 09:16:22 AM |
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Windsong
True Blue Farmgirl
309 Posts
LaVonna
Decatur
Tx
309 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 09:40:18 AM
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I am a caretaker/giver for my mom, 88, who lives wih me. There is not any lifting she is able bodied and sharp as a tack mentally (long time health food person) but still the daily THINGS get hectic. My mom still goes to work at our business so it takes considerable time to do even get there. I am grumbling but not complaining. I sure know it could be much harder.
I would really like to encourage all of you caregivers to find a massage therapist for your own self. In many locations there are massage schools where you can get a student massage for a very reasonable price. The sore muscles get relaxed and the soul gets to settle. Their is science behind the fact that touch causes the skin to release chemicals that settle our system. One study was on rabbits fed a high cholesterol diet and all groups were getting the expected rise except one group...it did not. They then had to figure out why. What did they find? The person in charge of feeding took each one out and petted it. It turns out is was the stress reducing hormones released by touch that did this change in their health.
You might have guessed that I am a massage therapist but the story is true it is recited often by Deepak Chopra. If you have a best sweetie see if they will give a RELAXING massage (not that other kind for this purpose) and if you do not then find a therapist to do this. Just try it a few times.
www.windsongwellnessandtherapyshoppe.com
http://sadiesfarm.blogspot.com/
http://healthtalkcafe.blogspot.com/ |
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Lainey
True Blue Farmgirl
2401 Posts
Elaine
Waco
Kentucky
USA
2401 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 11:19:15 AM
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I was a caregiver for my grandmother for 5 years. I worked at a job full time during the day and was with her during the nights. There were so many times that I felt depressed, defeated, and tired but there were many moments of joy as well. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and there were times throughout that were very challenging, but there were also days of curious clarity for her as well. During the beginning of her condition there were times that if you weren't there all the time you would miss the signs. I was staying with her right after my step grandfather passed on and I noticed the signs very quickly.
She fought against admitting that something was wrong for a long time. She was a very active and independent sort of woman. A true farmgirl! She cooked, gardened, canned, sewed, crocheted, and had many activities. I learned so much from her about life in general and even about myself.
My grandmother passed on several years ago. I felt a great loss then and still do. Yes, there were times that I felt so tired I didn't know what I was going to do. Looking back now I would not trade those times with her for the world. And what I wouldn't give to hear one of her old time stories that she would tell many times during the day.
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
Edited by - Lainey on Sep 21 2009 11:20:30 AM |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 1:12:22 PM
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OMG. I have been there many times in my 36yrs. of marriage. In-laws and DH. Stayed at hospital 59 days,sun-up to sun-down) with MIL. Years of staying with her or in my house. FIL sick and till he died. Both daughters had bad accidents with long term care. DH in electric recliner chair for 3 yrs. Bathe,fed,everything else. DH in accident again, didn't walk for 6 more months. On and on. Now I am caring for our 10 month old grandaughter just over 4 months now and could go on for long term. I have put the word out to my family: Anyone else gets down and out accident or health-wise: find a good rehab or nursing home to get through it. I am done. The baby is getting all of my attention,I adore her. But.....after this no more grown folks need to look to me for nursing care. I realize no one appreciates it anyway. I am over it.
Do I sound angry? Well............just over it.
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 1:56:29 PM
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Tracy, you just sound tired. I just got my grandson down for a nap. His daddy was suppose to pick him up he's only about an hour late. Now I hope he doesn't show up for at least an hour so the poor little guy can get some sleep. I'll get him back tonight so his mom can pick him up when she gets out of work. I am the safe place for him, when he goes with his dad it's only from here because the 2 parents and new partners can't seem to get along for the little guy. I'm actually glad to be the one,I just love him so much.
My son's have always seen me take care of someone all the time. They always tell me they promise to take good care of me if and when the time comes. I hope I don't get alaheimers, but I have informed my sons to put me in a nice nursing home and bring me a hot fudge sunday once a week even if I don't know who they are.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 21 2009 : 9:59:10 PM
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Tracy you certainly do sound tired....enjoy your grandbaby, but do take some time for yourself. Dianne,I think you sound like an angel, and I'm sure your grandson will feel that way someday!! Ceejay, your just plain ole workin' too hard there!! Hope you had good days off and got to play some, and have some "you time"!! Things are pretty much the same here, I see a little more weakness in my DH, takes a little more for me to get him up out of his chair, but it doesn't matter!! We've had awesome weather and I manage to get outside at least for a while everyday. Have a good week all!!
live, laugh, love |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13646 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13646 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2009 : 07:54:27 AM
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Suzie . . . thanks for spirit of encouragement and understanding!!!
We have discovered why my sis is having so much trouble standing and walking . . . misalignment of socket of her hip replacement. No wonder!!
Sees orthopedic surgeon tomorrow . . . probably will require surgery and that is not a fun prospect. But at least we know what the problem is.
I will be headed to Phoenix next week for 5 days with my daughter . . . that'll be a wonderful break. I never get enough time with her!!! God has blessed the two of us with a WONDERFUL FRIENDSHIP now that she is an adult!!!! I and truly grateful!!!
Thanks again Suzie . . . you hang in there too!!!
CJ
...from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665 |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2009 : 7:41:41 PM
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CEEJAY!!! A getaway for 5 whole days with your best friend/daughter, what could be better!! I'm sure you'll have a most wonderful time with her, and the break away from your sister will certainly recharge your batteries!! I got to spend a couple hours outside today,while hubby was sleeping peacefully, it was the perfect fall day, wellllll, maybe a little warm, but beautiful. Hope the rest of your week goes well, good luck tomorrow with the surgeon!!
live, laugh, love |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 9:50:37 PM
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How are all you caregivers hanging in there, everybody doin' fine?? Ceejay, we miss you, you've become our leader and inspiration, but we do hope you're havin' a great time!! Remember "caregals", we're all here for each other to lean on!!
live, laugh, love |
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Across the Fence: Caregiver Care - CHRISTMAS??? |
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Caregiver Care - CHRISTMAS???
