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Family Matters:  Bad Guy-Mama  |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 4:20:14 PM
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Any other mom been in this spot? I hate it! My daughter, who is 17, wanted to fly down to where her boyfriend is stationed for Labor Day weekend. She would have stayed with a couple from his church. I told her I didn't have a peace about it, and that she couldn't go. I know that they are disappointed, and for that I am sorry, but, I just didn't feel good about her going. She was upset with me, but does seem to be doing better. Dang, this parenting thing is hard enough, but to do it by yourself!
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 5:53:05 PM
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If he is 18 which I am assuming because he is "stationed" than I think you made the right choice. Perhaps you could suggest if he gets leave that he come visit you all in WA.
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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Lessie Louise
True Blue Farmgirl
1406 Posts
Carol
PECULIAR
MO
USA
1406 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 6:29:27 PM
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I agree with you, mom. I remember bringing my babies home, scared to death to give them a bath. No one ever told me what parenting a teen ager would be like! And it got harder with each child. But I think 17 is too young, even supervised. The great thing is, is you went with your gut feeling. Take good care, Carol
how sweet it is to love some one, how right itis to care |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 7:12:20 PM
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Do what you feel is right. When she is 18, she can do what she feels is right.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 7:13:52 PM
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Good for you, Julia. Stick to your guns, girl! I admire you and am in total agreement with you. You did the right thing. And she will thank you later.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 9:43:38 PM
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Thanks girls, I really appreciate it. He has been here on leave a few times, his family lives close so he is able to see everyone when he comes. He really wants to be able to show my daughter where he is stationed, and where they both have good level heads on their shoulders and I trust them, my thinking is why set them up for a fall. No thank you!
I feel better just hearing your support, I love this place!
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2009 : 11:47:27 PM
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Julia- if you don't have peace about it, then I think you made the right choice. If he has a digital camera, he can take a video or a bunch of pictures and give her a remote tour. I know it is so hard when they are seperated and love each other. They should just be glad that they have access to all this new technology. When I was in high school and my boyfriend enlisted to the National Guard, we didn't have the ability to email back and forth, let alone chat online. So I think it is a little bit easier now than it has been in the past.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 06:40:06 AM
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I think you made the right choice Julia, you have to trust your heart. Maybe he can come see your DD again soon. As Alee said they can email and webcam too. Its good that he can see his family and yall when he is on leave.
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
www.KKJD1.etsy.com |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 08:29:45 AM
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Boy Julia~ The parenting thing just doesnt get easier does it. And to do it alone, I can't image. Our kids can pick us off one by one if we dont stand together, So I can just feel your pain.
17 is a tough one~ they are certaily "old enough to know better" buy maybe "to young to resist".... LOL My 17 year old isnt giving me to bad a time yet... it is his 23 and 22 year old brothers that are driving me over the wall LOL
Love ya~ think about you lOTS and just know that YOU are doing an awesome job!!!
Rene'Groom
the artist formerly known as Prince. I mean PROSSERFARMGIRL (that will only be funny to some).
Sister #185
www.MaryJanesFarm.com/RFBlog/
www.Twitter.com/RuralFarmgirl
www.RuralandRaw.blogspot.com
www.RuralFarmGirl.blogspot.com
www.FarmGirlsFarm.blogspot.com
Circumstances made us FRIENDS; MaryJane's has made us SISTERS :) |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 09:54:20 AM
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You really can't imagine how you have bolstered me up. I went to bed really feeling crummy, in fact at about 10:30 last night my daughter in question texted me and said ' you probably aren't sleeping are you?'. She knows me well. We texted, from across the hallway, and she assured me that all was okay, they just were really disappointed. I still went to bed feeling blah.
You are right Alee, the technology today is incredible. They have their cell phones, can talk and text, and they do have webcam, as well as emails. When my husband and I were courting, he has training in CA, he was in the army, and all we had was snail mail!
This morning I went to have my bible study time and I always start by reading an old devotional book. God is good, the verses were perfect and reminded me that He is in control and that I am dong okay. Reading your posts this morning has helped as well. Thanks girls!
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 10:11:36 AM
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I think that you did the right thing. The only thing worse than parenting alone is when one spouse disagrees with the other and there is a quarrel. Kids love it then. I raised two boys on my own and they would not be allowed to do the same thing either. One did go from WA state to San Jose with GF and got himself in all sorts of trouble moneywise. At least he learned his lesson there.
You have to stand your ground and not waver.
Betty in Pasco |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 12:05:59 PM
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Thank you Betty.
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
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Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 5:18:46 PM
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You did the right thing Julia and your DD understands. Don't be so hard on yourself. They're young and in love but it sounds like both level headed young people who realize they need to respect your decision. As the other gals pointed out with today's technology it's so much easier to be apart than it used to be. They'll cope just fine :) Pat yourself on the back, you're doing a great job of parenting!
Happy farmgirl sister #353
Look for rainbows instead of mud puddles 
http://www.Tapestry2u.Etsy.com
http://tapestrysimaginings.blogspot.com/ |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2009 : 8:16:54 PM
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Yep, God is good. My DD came in my room a bit ago and asked if her BF could come here for Labor Day weekend. I said 'Of course'. Big smile, after she left the room of course. Thanks again, girls, your the best!!!!
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 05:23:09 AM
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| Hey, Julia. I think you made the right call too, and I'm glad the problem seems to have solved itself with him coming to visit instead. Just a suggestion...my sister traveled across the country by bus to visit her 18 yr old boyfriend (now her husband) when he was in the Air Force. But his mom and sister went with her, and they stayed in a hotel together near his base. It was a great experience for the whole family to visit a new part of the country, see his new home, meet the people they'd been hearing so much about. Any chance you or someone from his family might make a trip with her to visit him in the future? I guess it depends on how serious the relationship is and how close you are to his family... |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 05:32:13 AM
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I too think you made the right decision (coming form someone with no kids, I know :) ) And I think your daughter will be happy about it too, in retrospect. Kids grow up SO fast nowadays. Protecting them against themselves for a little while longer is good :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Aug 21 2009 : 9:46:12 PM
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Hey Amiee, I did think of that myself, I think she wanted the adventure of traveling alone. If it comes up again, I think that will be the only option is if I go. They are serious about each other, he is a real peach. I told him once that if my DD ever dumped him I would adopt him. I am glad he is coming, it just makes it easier on us all. Plus, I think he just shows his metal.
Thanks too, Marian.
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/ |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Aug 22 2009 : 10:45:21 AM
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You absolutely made the right choice!! I have a 15 year old and when I tell her no, dealing with the disappointment, upset, etc is the hardest. I always tell myself that parenting isn't a popularity contest. She eventually gets over it and we move on. But you made a compromise and that is wonderful!!!
The Rustic Cottage Blog http://therusticcottage.blogspot.com
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Family Matters: Bad Guy-Mama |
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Bad Guy-Mama
