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Family Matters:  Manners!!!  |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 08:25:52 AM
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My SIL showed up at my house with her family DH DS DD at 12:45am She said she called earlier it was at 11:45 by my caller ID I never talked to her but she just shows up.
I must be out of the loop on the phone manners and but I was taught that you didn't call before 9:00am or after 9:00pm. Unless it was an emergency.
And you never just showed up at any time. Let alone in the Middle of the night.
Am I wrong I know that his family will absolutly go nuts over the fact that I turned her away in the middle of the night. My DH is already agreeing with them but as he is on the road trucking he wasn't here it be a part of the mess.
Aaarggggh
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 09:19:53 AM
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What was her reason to be showing up at that time??? Was there some kind of emergency, or were they just out running around that time of night/morning? Somebody calls my house at 11:45, there better be someone "dead or dying", cause if there is'nt, there's gonna be! Someone shows up at my house at 12:45 am. most likely I will be answering the door with my gun, not knowing if its some kind of criminal there!
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Corinnelouise
True Blue Farmgirl
957 Posts
Corinne
France
957 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 09:20:09 AM
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I feel for you Diana. I have the same rules than you, between 9 and 21, that is it. And good for you if you turned them away.
Hugs,
Corinne
Sister # 101
'Heaven on Earth' is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.
Dr. Wayne Dyer |
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Laila
True Blue Farmgirl
273 Posts
Laila
Kutztown
PA
USA
273 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 09:31:32 AM
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I agree with Teresa. It had better be life or death. We are in a "ME" society and people have forgotten common courtesy.
Laila |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 10:19:16 AM
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I'd like to know why they arrived so late? They'd still be knocking on my door, for sure!
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 11:45:27 AM
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I think you were totally right. Holy cow..even though I am a night owl and for sure would still be up...I don't want people just dropping in like that that late and waking up the household...manners DO count!
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 11:51:21 AM
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what WAS she thinking??? my goodness, no excuse for that except an emergency.
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 12:29:46 PM
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Thanks for the support. I have just made myself sick about this I really can't believe they showed up here at that time.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 9:04:35 PM
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Diana, you know when to help and when to send someone on their way' I am sure you made the right decision. Some people will always be unhappy when they don't get their way, even when its rude and intrusive. Don't fret about this, you did the right thing.
hugs,
merry
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets how much the heart can hold."
Zelda Fitzgerald |
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Mother Hen
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Cindy
Peck
ID
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Jun 27 2009 : 10:37:31 PM
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Diana, I'm with you on the "showing up" at that hour. However I have learned out here that ranchers/farmers call each other about 6am before they leave the house to work for the day. Can't tell you how often we get calls early in the morning. But don't call them after 9pm cuz they're sleeping. Personally I'm more of a night owl than a morning person but I do both just not on the same days hopefully.
People in general don't have manners much anymore. I always compliment the parents of a child I see in public with good manners(it doesn't happen often).
Diana, stick up for yourself with DH's family after all it's YOUR house and YOUR rules!! Their first clue should have been when you didn't answer the phone, DUH!!
Cindy
FARMGIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
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Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2009 : 12:28:27 AM
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I agree with all the other ladies. Showing up at that time of the night/morning takes some kind of nerve. I'm not sure I would even have opened the door. Especially with your hubby gone even if I had looked out the window and saw who it was. And if I did...my first words would have been, "are you people nuts showing up at this time of the night?" LOL I think I'll go into business making signs that read Visiting hours are between 9 AM and 9 PM and call ahead first. I think several of you gals could use them. I think maybe I'm lucky that most of my family live out of state...LOL
Happy farmgirl sister #353
Look for rainbows instead of mud puddles 
http://fantasm01.imagekind.com/
http://tapestrysimaginings.blogspot.com/ |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jun 28 2009 : 1:04:43 PM
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I would not care someone calling me at 6am, cause I've already been up for 2 hours by then, and anyone who knows me, knows thats ok. I am in bed usually by 9:30pm or so every night, thats just a farmer/ranchers life.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2009 : 09:42:02 AM
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Zowie...I'm usually pretty forgiving about such faux pas, but 12:45 am? That's crossing the line (by about three hours). I can't imagine barging into somebody's house at that time. I mean, I assume they got you out of bed and it wasn't a "saw your light on and thought I'd stop by" thing.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2009 : 11:55:15 AM
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That's just weird. What on earth could they have wanted at 1:00 in the am? If someone had died, well, there's always the telephone, but it sounds like she's jut inconsiderate (and probably tired!)
Now, I'll admit that I'm guilty of calling everyone before the sun comes up because I've been up for hours and it feels like it's already noon or something, but I'd NEVER drop in unannounced that late on anyone!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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ranchmama
True Blue Farmgirl
360 Posts
Elise
Rosebud
MT
USA
360 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2009 : 4:42:20 PM
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Cindy and Teresa, it's the same around here!
We have a neighobr who will call early in the morning when he needs to talk to hubs. Usually in the fall or spring about cattle.
Also when they are doing cow work here, the boss's son-in-law will call around 5 am to ask where Ben is.. usually saddling up, does he think he'll find him in the house?! lol I'm up and moving and that's fine, I just don't want the kids up at that hour! What makes it worse is the Son-I-L doesn't show up till 7am so I don't know why he needs to call that early!
I hope they call or drive right on by next time Diana!
Every Child Deserves Our Love &
A Bear of Their Own
http://ATeddyForKeeps.org
http://ranchmama.blogspot.com/ |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2009 : 03:27:05 AM
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WOW
RUDE 
I agree w/ the others, since we also crash around 9:30 and 10 at the latest.
I'm speechless and folk's lask of thoughtfulness.
We also don't call much past 9, and always in the mornings at least after 9! |
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Quintessential Kate
True Blue Farmgirl
175 Posts
Kate
Tyler
TX
USA
175 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2009 : 05:38:12 AM
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I agree with the rest of the gals about your SIL just "popping in" at 12:45 a.m. as being very rude and inconsiderate. My SIL thought just because I was married to her brother.... my house was hers, and she could go through my kitchen cupboards and such. Help herself to food in my refrigerator....without asking...even if I had planned on using it for a meal. My gosh!! I am a good hostess and always ask if anyone wants something to drink...tea, soda, water, ect...and then I always put out a "munchie".
I broke her of the habit by visiting her one day and proceeding to make myself lunch. I made a sandwich, got a diet coke and opened a brand new bag of chips....and sat down and ate it in front of her. Her eyes got huge.....and she has never done it again.
As for showing up after midnight.....I would have done the same thing....point em to a motel. Everyone in my family and group know that I do not take phone calls after @ 8ish p.m. That's my time with DH...whether it be watching a movie or talking. If I get a call after 8 p.m. there better be blood or impending death as a subject matter.
It's funny.....yesterday I was thinking about the overall lack of manners and courtesy these days. It's sad, because people are raising self-absorbed, me, me, me, kids who have absolutely NO manners.
The thing that would make me the maddest is hubby siding with the uninvited, unannounced, inconsiderate SIL and gang. Too bad.
Heart of Texas
Chapter
AKA: Hot Farmgirl #234
http://quintessentialkate.blogspot.com
Today is my best day! |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2009 : 08:07:33 AM
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I'm with the other ladies on this one! Even if someone tells me to call before 9am, I'm not comfortable with it.
Manners have pretty much gone by the wayside, except for our homes!! :-)
Winona :-)
To read funny stories about my cooking 'skills', please visit http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com/
For uber-opinionated, pleasurable horse related reading, please visit http://horseinfoperson.blogspot.com/
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2009 : 10:24:58 AM
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Unless its an emergency and they had no choice but to come, its just not right. If my phone rings at that hour I know someone has died or something terrible has happened.
I think most ills in this society stem from bad manners or the complete lack of manners. |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2009 : 6:29:16 PM
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Think about it this way -- If you had let them in, they would feel free to do it again. By turning them away you gave them a message that they had crossed the line and next time, hopefully they will think about it before showing up in the middle of the night.
If you don't stand up for yourself, who will?
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2009 : 11:41:36 AM
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First words out of my mouth would have been " What the hell is going on" then "You need to go back where you came from unless your house just burned down, I am going back to bed." The neighbors would have heard my door slam!
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
Edited by - mommatracy on Aug 24 2009 11:42:22 AM |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9324 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9324 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2009 : 7:07:59 PM
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lol Tracy! But I agree.
God is good....all the time.
Denise
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2009 : 7:11:29 PM
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I believe that is just about what I said too.. Everything is ok with them and they now know that we are not here to come and go as they please.And when they hint around about coming over they will not be taken seriously until a time has been set and an OK for it to happen.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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Family Matters: Manners!!! |
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Manners!!!
