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Family Matters:  Taking the First Step - What Do I Say?  |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 09:26:43 AM
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My cousin's wedding was on Saturday, and I had a wonderful time. At the same time, though, I felt pretty sorry that I have drifted so far away from my family I hardly know them anymore! They all seem much closer to each other while I seem more like an outsider. There's no "bad blood" or anything between us; I've just chosen a different path than they've chosen, and we don't have a whole lot in common anymore.
But I've got to be honest...I miss my family! I'm talking about my father's side (unfortunately, almost everyone on Mom's side is gone now). I've got four aunt/uncle pairs, plus 11 first cousins. There are four of us who are really close in age: Erika, me, my sister Jaqie, and Nick; and then there is a gap of something like 13 years before Talia, Brad, Zack, Michael, Ernie, Josh, Stephanie, and Luke come stair-stepping along behind.
Other than obligatory family functions like Christmas, weddings, and open houses, I don't get together with them. (They all go on vacations and stuff together.) And even when I am in a room with them, I feel shy and spend most of the time sitting alone on a couch or talking just with my sister and husband. I feel like I should extend an olive branch and take the first step to re-establishing a relationship with them, but I don't know what to say! I guess e-mail would be the easiest, but I don't know where to start. "Hi, it's your cousin who hasn't e-mailed you in 15 years, but I thought I'd say hi!" seems kind of lame.
Anyone have a similar experience to share, or anyone have some advice?
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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CherryMeDarlin
True Blue Farmgirl
602 Posts
Cherry
Odenville
AL
USA
602 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 09:38:58 AM
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Oh, Jessie, just be honest. Send that email and tell them that seeing all of them at the wedding made you realize how you've lost touch and you want to re-establish that connection with them. Some of them may be feeling the same as you. Chin up, girlie! Begin by reminiscing with them and start that back-and-forth communication and then you can bring them up-to-date with your life and ask about theirs. All you have to do is just take that first step! And I know you can!
~~Cherry~~
http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 09:44:34 AM
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I totally agree with Cherry...an email is a perfectly acceptable way to break the ice. You'll be surprised how many responses you'll receive, probably all saying the same thing!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 11:43:17 AM
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Cherry is the wise one, its perfect! They might be thinking the same about you, wanting to connect but not knowing how. What do you have to lose? Go for it!
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets how much the heart can hold."
Zelda Fitzgerald |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 1:12:40 PM
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I agree with Cherry. Just do it. Let us know how it turns out. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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StarMeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
940 Posts
T
MI
940 Posts |
Posted - Jun 22 2009 : 6:04:07 PM
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I admire your desire to reach out. I guess I'll be the pessimist here...just be ready in case they aren't interested. Some time that happens too. It can really hurt a lot.
BUT, I love the way Cherry set things up for you. Now is the perfect time for sure (after this wedding and everything).
Good luck to you! Let me know if it's not what you expect and I'll drive up to St. John's and give you a great big hug (cause I've been there).... |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 07:14:56 AM
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Exactly! Cherry you got it spot on. The more you communicate with them the sooner that chasm between you all will fill up. *hugs* I know exactly how you feel! I was gone from my family for basically 7 years except for 1 or 2 holidays and I find my sisters not have all these inside jokes and such that I am not a part of. It will get better. Now that I am back I can feel that chasm closing but there are still awkward moments occasionally.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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CherryMeDarlin
True Blue Farmgirl
602 Posts
Cherry
Odenville
AL
USA
602 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 4:31:48 PM
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Aw, shucks, girls! Thanky!
Soooo, Jessie! You sent those emails yet?
~~Cherry~~
http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Jun 23 2009 : 7:56:22 PM
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Not yet...still trying to think of the right words to say. I'll post a rough draft here before I send it along to get ya'lls opinions.
I have been messaging back-and-forth with my younger cousins on Facebook, though. Like you said, got to start somewhere.
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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CherryMeDarlin
True Blue Farmgirl
602 Posts
Cherry
Odenville
AL
USA
602 Posts |
Posted - Jun 24 2009 : 08:29:09 AM
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Good for you!! You know, our minds always over-exaggerate anything we think might be painful, from physical pain to emotional pain, and once things are said and done, we realize that didn't hurt nearly as bad as we thought it would!
~~Cherry~~
http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
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Family Matters: Taking the First Step - What Do I Say? |
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Taking the First Step - What Do I Say?
