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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Young Women needing guidance  |
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lorijarrett
True Blue Farmgirl
112 Posts
Lori
Norfolk
NY
USA
112 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 13 2009 : 6:09:10 PM
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I don't want to bring anyone down but wanted to share a quick story with you all and the effects of parenting (or lack of in this case) that can have a ripple affect. A younng women I have gotten to know gave birth to twins last year. They were born early in the local hospital without the father present, he didn't want to be there. The mother of this young girl could come if the daughter gave her some gas money? She was in labor! I sat in the room with her and wanted to scream and cry for her at the same time. Her mom hasn't changed at all and now the young girl with almost year old twins, struggling on her own because she wanted to be a better mother than her own is, has found out she is pregnant again, same guy! UUGGHHH. She called here needing to talk to someone and when asked where her mother was her response was "to involved with her new boyfriend." WOW. I know that this girl has made some choices here and she has definately made some mistakes but where do you turn when you can't turn to your mother for some advice? Some guidance or just someone to talk to? Is she doomed to repeat these mistakes over and over? I just feel really awful for her, lots of prayers needed I guess. I am just at a loss. Thanks.
Lori
www.countryhandsandheart.etsy.com
www.farmgirlinthemaking.blogspot.com
Farmgirl at Heart #397
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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lorijarrett
True Blue Farmgirl
112 Posts
Lori
Norfolk
NY
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2009 : 04:37:31 AM
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Alee,
You are right. I have two daughters and am very proud of the way they live their life but know I made mistakes along the way. That makes me human I know and regrets don't allow us to move forward. Maybe this is god showing me someone who needs a shoulder and I should be listening.
Thanks, you are really something.
Lori
www.countryhandsandheart.etsy.com
www.farmgirlinthemaking.blogspot.com
Farmgirl at Heart #397
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2009 : 05:48:19 AM
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Thanks Lori! You are too!
I was blessed to have a couple ladies take me under their wing when I lived 700+ miles away from my mom. My mom is great- she is Sage here on the forum, but sometimes it is nice to have that in-person person to hug or cry with. I feel like that family is my second family. I would do anything for them and it tore me apart that they went through a trauma not too long after I moved closer to my biological family and I couldn't be there for them.
I think that we are born into a family, but along the journey of life we get the choice to add others to our family. Though marriage, birth, or just strong love and friendship.
I guess what I am saying is that I know how wonderful it has been for me to know and love people outside my biological family. Maybe this gal will feel the same!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2009 : 6:59:48 PM
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This young woman needs a mentor.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2009 : 07:09:07 AM
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Sounds like you're the one person she CAN turn to, Lori. It's a strange position to be in, but it also sounds like you want to give what you can to this girl. I do believe that we are placed in other people's paths for a reason--whether it's to help them, or to have them help us in someway. This seems (to me) like a win/win for both sides. I will be thinking of her, for sure.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 6:34:06 PM
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Wow, poor thing. I can't imagine not having a mother "there" for you. I was really lucky. But she is lucky too because she has you! Even if you are not her "Mom" sometimes people need someone just to be there for them, listen, give them a hug, some good advice and direction. Obviously something she is not getting from her Mom. But she does need a serious talking too. Everyone makes mistakes, but not only is her Mom a negative influence, it sounds like this guy is too. She needs to get away from these people and get her life turned around.
Hugs~
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 6:47:30 PM
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For the fact that she wants to do better than her mother did i think she's on the right path. Any guidance and show of love will be a great support to her. if you are willing help her when you can. it could be just as benefcial to you as to her. best of luck.
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
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lorijarrett
True Blue Farmgirl
112 Posts
Lori
Norfolk
NY
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 04:18:49 AM
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I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and words of kindness. I have had to back off a bit in this situation as the young lady got involved with someone else very quickly after I posted, got into some more trouble,serious stuff that caused her to have to make some tough decisions again, still making some bad choices but she knows I am here if she needs to talk. It's to bad that sometimes kids just won't listen and continue to make same bad choices. I cringed when I found out as well that her mother is now babysitting the kids when the young lady is in class. This is the same mother that is having drug issues. Prayers everyone, lots of prayers. thanks. :O(
Lori
www.countryhandsandheart.etsy.com
www.farmgirlinthemaking.blogspot.com
Farmgirl at Heart #397
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Michigan Girl in TX
True Blue Farmgirl
85 Posts
Kristi
Cottonwood Shores
TX
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 06:23:16 AM
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It sounds like she is looking for a man to fill in the void from not have a mother. It also sounds like she has some serious self esteem issues. There is only so much you can do though. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they can pick themselves up. You can't make the good decisions for her. As long as she knows you are there for her, that might be all you can do for the time being. You obviously have a big heart!
Hugs!
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 5:37:10 PM
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i've always found it odd when a child hands their kids over to the parent they feel failed them
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
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lorijarrett
True Blue Farmgirl
112 Posts
Lori
Norfolk
NY
USA
112 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 12:29:50 PM
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There always seems to be a roll reversal on some level as well. This girl seems to try to look after and take care of the mother when she's in trouble? I supposed it's a learned behavior if she was brought up in that type of atmosphere. I just really am worried about the twins. I am hoping that the Grandparents and the babies father try to take on more responsiblity. I know her heart was in the right place but reality is that it's to much for her, especially without a stable family to help. 
Lori
www.countryhandsandheart.etsy.com
www.farmgirlinthemaking.blogspot.com
Farmgirl at Heart #397
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2009 : 7:28:50 PM
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its sad to say but from the sounds of it i agree with lori. she needs help, both in mentoring and possibly through therapy.
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Young Women needing guidance |
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Young Women needing guidance
