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Reading Room:  Created to Be His Helpmeet  |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 19 2009 : 7:13:24 PM
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I have read most of this book before, but started it over again as it was almost three years ago for the first time. Has anyone read this book or is in the middle of reading it? I would love your takes on it..precautions, encouragement, admonitions, etc. :)
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Firemama
True Blue Farmgirl
1731 Posts
Amanda
Medical Lake
WA
USA
1731 Posts |
Posted - Mar 19 2009 : 8:06:53 PM
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I havent heard of it.I'll have to see if our library carries it, or can put a hold on it for me. Is it any good?
Mama to 2
FarmGirl# 20
People can only make you feel inferior with your permission, and you dont have my permission......
Dont let the chain of love end with you.....
http://myfarmdreams.blogspot.com/
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 07:25:25 AM
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Amanda--I think its pretty good. Debi talks about our roles as wives and moms. She talks about what the Bible says are our roles and what they actually mean. Some of it, I am a little weary about because I think she speaks a little out of turn, but if I knew it all, I wouldn't be reading books about it...hehe
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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City Chick
True Blue Farmgirl
1402 Posts
Deb
Chattanooga
TN
USA
1402 Posts |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 09:49:39 AM
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HI Deb,
What is the Excellent Wife about? Is it along the same lines? I find myself questioning Debi Pearl's tact. Some of the things she says, though were not in line with what I thought scripture was saying, but then that is why I always encourage in whatever you read like this, to be constantly checking against Scripture :)
Thanks for the recommend Deb!
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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City Chick
True Blue Farmgirl
1402 Posts
Deb
Chattanooga
TN
USA
1402 Posts |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 2:16:23 PM
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Jessie,
I started to read the book after a girl in church raved about it. I made it to Chapter 5. At first I felt that Debi was extreme, harsh and a bit legalistic. As I continued to read I found things contradicting to God's word so I stopped.
In place of her book I would recommend:
~Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes (I just finished this and it is excellent)
~The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
or anything by Elizabeth George :)
If you have any questions, drop me an e-mail :)
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory |
Edited by - Calicogirl on Mar 20 2009 2:18:16 PM |
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Canadian farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
482 Posts
Lori
Ontario
Canada
482 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 2:18:45 PM
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Ok, gals, you got me all interested in these books, so I had my public library do a search, and there isn't one library in the whole province of Ontario that has this any of these three titles to lend! (I didn't want to buy them just yet!)
How frustrating is that!
Lori
Farmgirl Sister #183 |
Edited by - Canadian farmgirl on Mar 20 2009 2:36:31 PM |
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City Chick
True Blue Farmgirl
1402 Posts
Deb
Chattanooga
TN
USA
1402 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 07:50:42 AM
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You also cannot find the Pearls books at bookstores - you have to buy them direct.
I second Elizabeth George! Love her books - I return to them often. A woman after God's own heart is one of my favorites.
http://www.xanga.com/My_Pondering_Place |
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keeperofthehome
True Blue Farmgirl
154 Posts
Suzanne
Atlanta
Georgia
USA
154 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 12:47:22 PM
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I have Created and when I first read it I thought it was just so right on. THEN, I began reading some of her own husband's items and found they contradicted eachother. So, I completely changed my mind. I think it was written for women who just have no clue and need to be "introducted" on the ways of being a helpmeet. After reading The Excellent Wife I found it to be much better. It's gentler, softer, and there are points that you can actually follow and do. I really love all of Elizabeth George's books as well. I think it's awesome Jessie that you are making a real effort to be a helpmeet to your husband looking for periodicals to help you.
Blessings!
~Farrah
www.oldfashionedhomekeeper.blogspot.com |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 3:52:22 PM
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I have read that book and thought it had some good ideas and it is at least promoting working on your marriage but I can't can't the Pearls. Their child training books make me ill and some of their disipline borders on child abuse, or could be considered child abuse. But I did read the whole book and didn't find anything vile in it and did even bring into play some of the suggestions.
-Elizabeth |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 3:56:35 PM
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I will have to look into it and see if my library has the Excellent Wife. My Mom gave me the book shortly after I got married and said that it had encouraged her, but she said that I really needed to test it against Scripture. I know a lot of times, I get hung up on one author and just take for granted that everything they say is so biblically based. The trouble with that though is that every husband and wife is different. I read some excerpts from her book to my Hubby and he says "Thats just not going to work for us". I have a couple of the books Becoming a Woman of Excellence, Becoming a Woman of Prayer. They are more teaching you the different parts of Scripture rather than sharing experiences. I think I learn best about how to be a good wife under authority given by God, by following the examples of other women more than anything. I am finding what works and what doesn't. :D Boy, it is sure is a slow learning process being married. :) The part I have the most struggle with is the husband having the final say as the head of our home. I am so bull headed that I want to have more of a say and boy oh boy does the fireworks fly. If I am doing my part and not worrying about his part, life sure goes a whole lot better...lol
Im not sure why I wrote all that, but once the fingers hit the keys I dare not stop them...LOL
hugs all
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Prairie Princess
True Blue Farmgirl
1075 Posts
Jodi
Washington
USA
1075 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 7:41:11 PM
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I'm going to look for the books mentioned here...I've read an older one, 'Fascinating Womanhood'. The copy I have is from the '50s or close to that, I think.
~Jodi
"Women are like teabags...you never know how strong they are until they get into hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 7:56:32 PM
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Jessie,
Marriage can be a slow learning process and it is hard at times submitting. BUT, it comes down to whether we desire to be obedient to our calling to the Lord as helpmeets :) Every couple is different. I think the best thing we as wives can do is to make sure that we are spending quality time with the Lord through prayer and studying His word (not just reading it but studying it), also asking the Lord to show you how you can minister to your husband. Guaranteed He'll let you know :)
Like your Mom said, no matter what we read we must always see if it aligns with scripture or maligns scripture. Especially today with so many churches and teachers compromising with "feel good" messages that are candy-coated.
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 07:31:36 AM
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Thank you for the encouragement Sharon. We are finding, that as you say, there are a lot of churches, not all, but a lot that preach if it makes you feel good or your life is happy then you must be following God's will. I have to wonder do they not feel the reprecussions for not teach what God wants.
I can't remember where I heard it, but someone once told me that most women think they are doing 90% and hubby doing 10%. Of course, hubbys think they are doing the 90% and the wives 10%. So, if I as a wife just worry about my 90% and do it to the best of my ability, then hubby is free to worry about his 90%. :D
I can honestly say I have been lax in the devotions department. I read the books and go to church sometimes.(this is a sore issue), but when it comes to starting my day with devotions, I miss it. Hubby leaves for work and its time for me to start my routine with the children. They are a huge handful (Almost like twins) and the day just goes running from there. Hubby gets up every morning and does his before work. I wish he'd ask me once in a while, but then its not just enough to have couples devotions its the one on one time with God that makes the other relationships dynamic.
Do I sound like Im complaining here? I don't mean to. Im just talking it out trying to figure it out ;)
HUGS!!
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 12:10:11 PM
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Jessie,
I'll be praying for the Lord to show you how to fit your Quiet Time into your schedule :) I don't have any children so I don't know what it is like, but I can imagine after babysitting 2 rambunctious boys under 6 :)
Have you ever read Laine's letters? She is a very Godly woman with a great testimony and advice. here is a link:
http://www.lainesletters.com/
I recently read about keeping your Bible open throughout the day so when you have a free minute read. Whether it would be one verse or a few. God's word doesn't come back void :)
Jessie, I would encourage you to let your husband know how you feel about how the mornings go and ask him to help with the little ones so you can have your devotions. One thing I learned in pre-marital counseling was to never place expectations on your mate. Not saying that you are but husbands cannot read minds. They have a different way of thinking about things than we gals :)
Hope this helps and know that you are in my prayers :)
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 2:29:43 PM
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Jessie, I have this book and I get their monthly magazine. I loved the book. Not at first, but it grew on me. I am not particulary into Micheal Pearl. He's a bit over zealous at times. But I do like alot of their principles and morals. I guess I like the way they live. All their kids are married now and are all homeschooling their kids, too. They do not believe in the government being involved in their marriage ceremonies. The parents marry the couples. I am not really sure if I have that all right, but it's something to do with the government telling them how to run their lives and they only go by what the Bible says. He explains it in the magazine that has their last and youngest daughter's wedding in it. They also say that the KJV is the only true version of the Bible.
But I loved the chapter about the different types of men. I have Mr. Steady. She described him to a T. Perfectly. I thought she must have studied my hubby when she was doing that chapter.
Anyway, I am a typical housewife type. I work when we need extra help, but he is the big bread winner here. I take care of the finances. We both make the descisions. He is not totally in control. I let him think he is just to make the old guy happy. But really I am.
It's a very personal thing to be a submissive wife. I don't think it means for us to just let the man do everything. That's not what the Bible says at all. We are a team. We are one. We are in this together. Not him alone. He could not do it without the help of a woman. That's why God made woman, to be a helper for the man. Not a slave, a helper. Just my thoughts.
Kris
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. Maori proverb |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 4:11:56 PM
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I would advise anyone to be very cautious when reading the Pearls material. On one hand they preach grace while hold up legalism with the other. To tell you the truth, Debbies book was one of the big factors that kept me with Martin for so long. I really believed that if I left my husband for ANY reason, God would no longer bless me. She teaches that by being a Godly woman you will turn your husband into a Godly man, but that isn't always so. By the time I fianly left, it was a matter of life or death. Honestly, the "better" wife I was the worse he was to us...instead of standing up for myself and the kids i just made it easier for him to control us.
The book I would suggest for any woman is Captivating by John and Staci Eldrige.
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
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farmgirl blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
777 Posts
Lea
TN
777 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 8:34:09 PM
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Jessie, I have read Created to Be His Helpmeet and, like Calicogirl, found it harsh and legalistic. I much preferred The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace which I felt reflected more of the scripture rather that personal opinions of The Pearls.
I also subscribe to a free magazine called "Above Rubies" by Nancy Campbell. Though she addresses many different issues of being a godly woman and mother, I feel her views of being a supportive and submission wife are very in line with scriptural truths. Her website is www.aboverubies.org. You might find some helpful devotions that might interest and encourage you.
Blessings, Lea
www.farmhouseblessings.blogspot.com
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kmbrown
True Blue Farmgirl
459 Posts
Misty
Waynesboro
Pennsylvania
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2009 : 04:50:49 AM
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I guess we all have different opinions!!! I have high respect for Michael and Debi Pearl and I would highly recommend Created and any of their Child Training Books. I also like the Excellent Wife. They are just very different authors but both have a biblical outlook on a wife's duty. I do not recommend Nancy Campbell's magazine or books. I feel they hold to this new "Quiverfull" mentality to a fault and I feel many a Christian woman will be held in bondage to something God would NEVER ask of us. That's another subject entirely.
You will have to read and decide what kind of marriage you would like!!! I would suggest Love Dare! |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2009 : 09:54:31 AM
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Misty,
I think you are right, maybe it depends of the type of man we have :0.. for me Debi Pearl's book was good, because it helped me to be the women I wanted to be, knowing full well it was me that needed to change.... not change the man I have...But since my mom died through domestic violance, I would never expect a women to stay in a situation that was anything less than honoring of the priceless gift she is.
I will say this.... I dont ever propose that we follow any "persons" teachings... I think it is fine to read, and I am an avid reader, and have things challenge us.. but books are just that.. they are one persons view of what has worked, or not worked for them... I think that we are all given that still small voice in us that points to truth... WE KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO........we just keep going around trying to collect evidence..LOL. instead of taking action.
Corrine I love captivating too....
My prayer is that we all get to a place where we honor each other no matter what... that we find honor in each others journey, whether that is having been married for 50 years.. or whether that is having the courage to leave a bad situation to take control of your own happiness..... both in my view worth honoring.....
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
http://farmchicksfarm.blogspot.com/http://renenaturallyspeaking.blogspot.com/
Circumstances made us FRIENDS; MaryJane's has made us SISTERS :) |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2009 : 1:26:07 PM
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Rene--I didn't know the Pearls had a monthly publication. What is it called?
I read a magazine called Far Above Rubies, but I am not sure who it was by. Is this the same one you are talking about by Nancy Campbell?
I just keep praying that no matter what I read, or by whom, that God would speak to my heart with the truths and help me to realize what is just personal opinion. I think we can all learn from other people experiences, (That's what makes us all unique) but know they are just experiences and meant to be mindful of them and not take them as an application of "this is how it has to be and this is how you have to do it") :)
Kris--Hubby's and my relationship is alot like yours. We make the decisions together, though we have made it so he has the final say. This doesn't mean he turns into an ogre and says "THIS IS HOW IT HAS TO BE" but rather, when we truly don't know what to do, he makes his best judgement.
I think these books are great guidlines. Guidlines are only things you could use or go by if you want. Not rules. Rules say you have to and how miserable would marriage be if we always had to live by a certain set of rules. Marriage is definitly confusing enough without adding that to the pot..lol :)
THank you all so much for sharing. I am so encouraged to hear how everyone sees different things and what works for you. It helps me to think of better and new ideas that might help me to be the better wife and then Hubby and I to be a better couple. :)
hugs
Jessie
Farmgirl Sister #235
"Every man's life is a fairy-tale written by God's fingers."--Hans Christian Anderson
Stop by my blog for a visit www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9348 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9348 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2009 : 2:50:24 PM
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I have read both Created and Excellent Wife as you know Jess, and I have cautions about both. No one is perfect so just reading them and gleaning what you can according to Scripture and leaving the rest is best.
I just picked up a book by Elizabeth George called "A Woman After God's Own Heart" She also has a very good book called "A Woman's High Calling" Elizabeth George is definitely an author I trust to base her writings on God's word.
Looking forward to reading it. I think I still have "The Excellent Wife" and if I can find it you can borrow it.
The monthly publication by the Pearls is called No Greater Joy.
Denise
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
Edited by - levisgrammy on Mar 28 2009 05:45:43 AM |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9348 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9348 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2009 : 2:51:50 PM
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Corrine,
In her book Debi does recommend that if a woman is in physical danger then she should leave.
Denise
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
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Tina Kay
True Blue Farmgirl
107 Posts
Tina Kay
Deary
ID
USA
107 Posts |
Posted - Mar 28 2009 : 10:09:39 AM
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I have read Created and liked it. Of course you will never agree with everything in a book. But with anything you read, you need to always check it with scripture. I thought it harsh at times and the tact was off, but I did get somethings out of it.
With problems with spouse abuse you leave.
With divorce stand firm on the bible.
Two very tough and painful topics.
Tina Kay
Now I get me up to work, I pray the Lord I may not shirk. If I should die before tonight, I pray the Lord my work's all right. Anon. |
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Reading Room: Created to Be His Helpmeet |
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Created to Be His Helpmeet
