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A Farm of My Own:  Empowing Women  |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 23 2009 : 1:18:54 PM
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I think the thing I find so admirable about Mary Jane is that she is a woman doing all this successful business. She is not a follower.She is not afraid to go it alone.Even out in the wilderness or into the totally uncharted area of big than bigger business.
I was just reading about the woman who wanted to homestead but her husband wasn't sure since it put him in the role of sole breadwinner.How do we rethink these times and labels?I think it becomes much harder once we become mothers we tend to want what our mothers had or want to limit our potential to before or after the kids.We don't challenge ourselves to achieve our dreams. We are raised to fulfill others dreams to follow not lead.How to we gain the skills little by little to empower ourselves?To be able to make happen whatever we dream of and more.
I'm not saying I don't want or have a great relationship.But isn't this more possible if we know ourselves and are happy with our lives,fulfilling our dreams? |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2009 : 1:39:25 PM
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Katie, believe me, I understand. I believe we can have it all, just the percentages are different and always flexing. Example: I like being a Mom and I enjoy working. My trade off is a smaller, maintainable home, I don't try to be Martha Stewart- Charlie gets just as much of a kick out of making premade cookies with me and my house is NOT a showcase for others, it is my home. I considers dreams a series of steps and also, don't forget, the memories along the way. If something is not working, toss it out. Yes, if you are happy, I do believe it bleeds over into the essense of my life. If Mama is happy, everyone is happy PERIOD!!! : )
Empowerment comes in all forms and all levels, no matter which hats we choose to wear in life. Confidence, guts and ingenuity will get you further in life than anything else.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 08:39:26 AM
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I guess it comes up for me as a gender issue even though I'm married to the man of my dreams.I was raised by my Dad and two brothers from 14 on.I learned to change the oil and fan belts and tires on my cars.Ride motorcycles,slide thru corners on wet roads.My Dad cooked and cleaned and did laundry.
Later I was the only woman living in a Tibetan Buddist Monastery.When I wanted to learn to drive the tractor(first woman to drive heavy equipment there,this was 1986).I still put all these guys knowledge ahead of mine.When something broke,I didn't question how it was repaired leading to a tractor accident.At that time they all liked to take all safety gear off tools and equipment.I never qeutioned those things because I thought they knew better.I feel this is my giving power over to men and not taking ahold of it for myself.I've made numerous mistakes relying on others information.I just think women undermine thier own knowledge and goals to serve others first.
I later had a baby in this Monastery and lived with her there till she was four and a half,the only child there.I wondered for a long time whether I compromised her by doing what I loved at the time.But now she's twenty and a wonderful human being.I've gone on to build two more houses have two more children and work.I'm stii shocked to learn all the potential to accomplish my dreams I have within me.
Yes, and a series of steps is exactly it,something towards your dreams everyday if possible.
Katie |
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Sandra K. Licher
True Blue Farmgirl
1106 Posts
Sandra
Horseshoe Bend
Arkansas
1106 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2009 : 09:01:09 AM
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Katie...thank you for sharing and you are SO right! I remember something Jane Fonda said once after she decided to divorce Ted Turner....she said that when she was in a relationship she lost her voice. I found that to be true of myself and when after 21 years of marriage I found it...well, suffice it to say he didn't like it! LOL! Sounds like you have just the right balance in yours and I think what it takes for everything in life... a balance of the feminine and the masculine in everything.....including peace talks, governments of all kinds and any place where people gather to work together towards anything. There's a reason there are 2 sexes of everything on this planet and it wasn't just so one could clean up after the other's messes!
Sam in AR..... "It's a great life if you don't weaken!"
Farmgirl Sister #226
www.farmgirlsam.blogspot.com |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2009 : 06:38:15 AM
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I think there's something here in terms of supporting strength in women in whatever life they choose.I remember in one of Gloria Steinem's book she mentioned that one of the things that undermined the women's movement was lack of support from other women.Women inheritely jealous of other womne trying to protect thier territory, thier man.
I like the potential of our women's group,web site, has in terms of uplifting women to get over thier fear and dive in to create whatever life they want.
Lets help each other, spread our wisdom and experience to enthusiastically inspire people to do EVERYTHING! This is what Mary Jane's done for me. |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2009 : 06:47:42 AM
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Yes, I agree with you there Katie. We, as women, no matter our station in life, have a great power if we could come together and support each other, no mattter our circumstances. I once was criticized from another woman about being a college student and putting Charlie in daycare at 2. She wouldn't even listen to reason or WHY I do the things I did. She judged me immediatlely as a bad mother, that my child would be messed up for life and how could I reproduce knowing I wouldn't stay at home for the next 17 years of my life. I was floored!!! I try to remember that whenever I come across someone who is in different shoes than me.
Also, I just don't buy into gender roles. If you make a mess, you clean it up. If you want clean clothes, turn on the washing machine. My mother is still a slave to my father at 65. She still cooks for him, cleans up after him, laundry, chores, even paying all the bills. He has been retired for 8 years and doesn't understand why my mom is so tired and cranky. Honestly, what would happen if she just stopped? She is so afraid of him (still don't know why to this day). It's about living the best life for you as a woman and knowing you can do anything, regardless of gender. People who put you down or hold you back because of gender do not need to be part of your life. Okay...enough ranting!!! : )
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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sjs
True Blue Farmgirl
247 Posts
Stephanie
Oakland
CA
USA
247 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2009 : 10:12:20 AM
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Katie, I totally agree. Compromising your dreams is so, so hard, but in marriage (and more so with kids, I'd imagine) it's hard to balance two dreams when they seem to be reaching in different directions. I'm working with that right now - my husband isn't really excited about smallholding, since he was raised on a farm and doesn't really want to go back. There have been a lot of talks, some tears and arguments. I refuse to back down on my dream altogether, just like I would never want him to if something meant so much to him. We're striking a compromise, and while it's not 100% exactly what I want, it's close enough and I'm happy to know that I'll have both in my life.
Does that make any sense? It's hard for me to articulate this sort of thing.
Stephanie, Farmgirl Sister #513!
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Learning to live is learning to let go.
Visit my food blog! http://www.wasabimon.com - natural cooking to live for.
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2009 : 10:50:28 PM
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It makes total sense.I was telling someone today that My husband and never stop working.Either at work or here at home.Ne's just had the last month "off" clearing about 14 acres of brush,dead and dying trees,stumps and all,we have 40acres.We love every minute of it.
I'm also working with a friend of mine now(I'm a landscaper 30yrs.)who I helped get her back in this area.She grew up rural in Scotland on a farm.Her then boyfriend now husband has always been a city boy .When they decided to live together he wanted to go to Portland,Ore. to tie up loose ends with a college age daughter.My friend sold her farm.Moved there with him and was very depressed for three years.She's so very happy to be back.Deeply satisfied. Her husbands moving down soon and knows this is now what she needs and since she's earning well it's important as well.He would really like to be in Portland instead.Quandry?
Katie
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caro
Farmgirl in Training
37 Posts
Carol
Princeton
Indiana
USA
37 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 1:42:31 PM
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| Katie, your friend is indeed in a quandry! Hubby is a country boy through and through. After retiring, we moved back to his old town and built a house in the country. I HATED living there!! I'm a city girl through and through, lol!! After 8 1/2 years, he agreed we'd move to the city again. Which we did. Hubby sat around with nothing to do and was like a fish out of water which made me feel terrible!!! So...we're back in the country again and he's a happy camper! I can always drive to a city. It is indeed a quandary, though, for your friend and her husband. Hopefully they can reach a happy compromise. |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 3:03:22 PM
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I guess I am pretty lucky to have the husband I have- we have been together 5 years- and although we have small spats- there has only been one time that we went to bed angry with each other- (and oh boy was that a doozy) But he is supportive of anything I want to do- from my photography- to my sculptures- to my writing- and to the Farm. I never have to wonder if he is behind me- because he is (almost) always beside me. (except when I bring home a stray cat whom he see's as just another mouth to feed- my thought of having the cat chase the mice/voles in the barn didn't go over to well-lol) But he is my 3rd husband- the other two were controlling, manipulative men who never supported me in any of my wishes- hence the ex part.
Mazy Day Farm |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 3:30:42 PM
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I'm on my third husband too.Although marrying two monks shouldn't count.Meeting and living in that unreal enviornment was not conducive to living "outside".But this husband and I get along soo great too.He really just loves me ,doesn't get intimidated by my strength.Or have I just finally gotten more comfortable with myself.No longer looking for someone to teach me something totally different than the way I just am.
I keep thinking about all this women and farm stuff,is that are these women just relying on the men to bring in the money to support thier farm dream? I know this is not always true,Mary Jane for instance,and any other struggling single mother out there.But part of what makes this work for our family is that I take an active role in supporting this household.Plus in figuring our future finances.We have a good( I hope)Plan for our future and how to develop this ranch into something we can hopefully hold onto.
I read about people growing large gardens for farmers market and I would love to do this too.I'm growing enough right now to probably feed four to five families full time.Plus eggs too.I 've just seeded about ten acres that my husband has cleared of dead and dying trees and shrubs. This is going to be our secondary fenced area for animals to graze.So we don't have to pay so much for feed and can maybe have a cow or goats.Plus our horses will love it and for now it will save on thier feed.
Katie |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2009 : 8:56:38 PM
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Hi Katie- yep- I get where you are coming from- but I do have some friends who do all the work inside and out of the home while their worthless piece of man meat sits at home and drinks copious amounts of beer "watching" the kids while she works 2 outside jobs- (sorry- that whole scenario always drives me bonkers!)
My husband and I worked together, and were practically in each other's presence 24/7 for the first 4 years of our marriage- until I fell 28 feet off of a ladder and fractured my back- so now I work on the farm and around the house- but I don't feel like I have had to sacrifice anything in this union- happily so! And now, through this depression- (I don't care what anyone says- here in my neck of Idaho it is a depression!), our marriage has gotten even stronger as we work through our difficulties together. But I think what really helps is that we think so much alike and have the same morals and ethics, and family values- and that he values me as his partner- so I got lucky this time!
Mazy Day Farm |
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Farmgirlheart
True Blue Farmgirl
103 Posts
Valerie
Los Angeles
California
USA
103 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 1:27:44 PM
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| I enjoyed reading through these posted comments. I oftentimes think that if I find myself a country man does it mean he'll expect me to be little miss perfect who does everything for him! I am tendning to see it doesn't matter where you are culturally and socially, you'll find preconcieved notions of what "gender roles" we are "supposed" to abide by. I say, defy conformity. I think we can keep values of love and respect and still be the equals we truly are. What supposedly makes a man better than a woman anyway???!!! my mom too has finally been finding her voice and therefor my dad is miserable. he hates her not being submissive to him. after thirty years of marriage and my mom is going through her second bout of breast cancer and my father gets mad and her for not cooking his dinner anymore! Where I live I am finding it a tough time to find a good man who treats me with respect and is not afraid of me being smart and opinionated. I know there are good men out there but I think there is still so much bs enforced about what a woman is and what a man is. lets stop telling little girls that when they are older a prince will come for them and tell them that life is now complete. maybe we can put a shovel in her hand and tell her that she is strong and can grow her own food and can do just about anything!!! |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 2:28:22 PM
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My Husband just brought me a heated up bowl of soup(of course I made it) as I read these posts,now he's going out the door w/ our 3 year old trailing after him.I sure can't complain.But his Mom is such an independant woman,smart too.She flew planes herself in the 60's before THAT was common.She ran the farm when Dad worked fighting fires or logging.How important is it to give strong women role model's to our son's! as well as daughters.
I think this was rare in the last century so the guy's haven't caught up yet,because thier mother's hadn't.I do think those great country guy's even if they seem a bit red-neck or hick,have come from families that equally had to work hard w/ more liberated do everything mothers and sisters.Plus I realize my husband has great taste in food because he grew up w/ fresh homecooked or eaten right out of the garden food.
Wow,Idaho sweetie, Sandra you're lucky to be doing anything at all after a fall like that.I'm sure happy to hear about your collabrative life and the support you give each other.I know my middle daughter's best friend has a Dad like that who sit's around all day drinking beer,"taking care of the kids" who are all now in school or high school and he still doesn't work.Her Mom work's her butt off long hours,then comes home to a mess of a house and no cooked food.I don't want my daughter over there much.Nothing good can come of that example.
One of the things that surprises me in this third marriage is that you really have to train these men in what you need to function.If you can ask nicely not resentfully or manipulatively.Especially if you're always working your butt off too,you can expect them to often hear you.
But when do we ask because we are afraid to try something(it's OK,just admit to it),or trying to get them to do something because we don't know our own strengths and weaknesses.Women don't seem to learn as well as men how to achieve our goals.How to get things to happen(anything we dream of)one step at a time.
Got to go, Katie |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2009 : 4:12:20 PM
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I keep thinking about it.Now you've got to realize I've worked in the "constuction field" for thirty years now, so mostly men.Men are very direct with each other and get very impatient when you "talk it over" w/ them.They just want to know what you want them to do.
I remember this one example, I ride this vintage BMW motorcycle and I rode by myself to a Rally about six hours away. I rode in and watched this group of guys gather around a new guy that had just come in w/ his old side car rig in the back of a truck obviously broke down.Everyone crowded around him and in a few hours had the motor broken down, parts for a really rare bike being brought down the next day by another guy who had then in his shop and was coming to the rally.By the end of the weekend he drove the side car away with many new friends.Well the next day I took this early drive and my bike had total electrical failure at 6am on a remote highway,hours later my bike and me came limping into the rally grounds in the back of a truck.The same guys took one look at me and thought to themselves we'll have to do all the work for this dumb broad.A few hesitantly sauntered over and I started full on taking the electrical system apart.Well the rest of them rushed over and we all worked on the bike till the lights went out at the fairgrounds at midnight fixing other problems with the bike,then guys drove thier bikes over and kept working under "headlight only " light.
My point is that guys are pretty wary of what women want them to do.If you show incentive and enthusiasm and an interest to bridge the gender gap they will respond possitively. I think people with positive relationships where they have equal footing realize this dynamic.Not saying this is for all girls or all men.Some really love to only do traditional roles,some men only love women who are like that.But for me at least once you taste how good it can be you can't go back.
Ruminations Katie |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2009 : 9:35:35 PM
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AMEN Katie! One thing my husband LOVES about me is my spirit to try anything, to do anything, and that I put my whole heart and soul into something- (ask him about the baby boer buckling that has slept with us two nights in a row swathed in diapers and an old romper because I can't stand to hear the baby cry at night!)My background (childhood) left someting to be desired- so now I learn everything I can- do what I want- and go where my heart leads. I'm not afraid to do something people view as "men's work", and I'm equally not afriad to do what some people view as "womens" work. Actually- I'm not araid to do anything which is probably why I fell! (lol) And you are so correct in the way that men just want to know what we want hem to do- sometimes it drives me crazy the amount of questions my husband asks about this or that and how I want things- but I just have to remember that he is asking because he values my opinion- not because he can't think for himself- lol
I personally think that life is something that each person has to live for themselves- and when you find what works for you- go for it- and believe in yourself- and trust in yourself- and grow everyday and give blessings for what you have- becasue there are plenty of people- not just women- who have a lot less that you do-
Mazy Day Farm |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 07:54:19 AM
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Isn't that amazing that he's not intimidated!!I knew there were great guys out there!I like your goat story.My best friend down here has a herd of water buffalo,just one pretty,wirey, lady,dealing with these huge animals,w/ horns! She wanted to milk them for niche market buffalo mozzerella cheese.It was near impossible for anyone else to get near these animals but she'd start rubbing thier butt and back of legs and they would fall over with all four legs up in the air and she'd clamber up on top and scrarch thier bellies.She never dressed one and put it in bed w/ her though...I think I get the spirit behind that.So great to love your animals and give them a good life even if later those are what you eat.Is that not the blessed way to eat meat if you need to?Kind of like Mary Jane's hunting articles.Is this not the reality of our farm life?
Katie |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2009 : 3:59:59 PM
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You are so right- I firmly believe it is my responsibilty that if I choose to raise animals, to eat or not, that they have the absolute best life I can give them. That they live with honor and die with honor- and the little buck is now out spending some time with the bigger goats- don't want my boy to gow up thinking he's a baby! (But I felt beter with him being near me for the first few days- gave him the time period to adjust and get used to th efamily- and hopefully he will retain the bond we now have throgh his lifetime)
That is an amazing story about the water buffalo lady- that would be a hoot to watch!
Mazy Day Farm |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2009 : 4:33:11 PM
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I think it's interesting I'm reading Barbara Kingsolvers "Animal,Vegetable,Miracle".Even though I'm growing all our veggies and eggs,except right now ran out of onions and garlic.I buy grass fed local meat from my friend,plus every little while a chicken( I haven't yet had the nerve to kill one,or maybe more pluck one).I'm hardly buying any groceries from store,we live off the grid,have our own clean water.But I realize I can still be affected by these GMO's and how prevelant they are in our food and non organic.Like the granola I'm making right now that still has non-organic olive oil in it and coconut!That any non organic meat has now been fattened up with Round up sprayed corn...That heirloom seeds could be cross-pollinating w/GMO crops and changing the very structure of the seed.
Scary,frustrating...how do we change these corporate powers to care about the future? |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2009 : 5:12:25 PM
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Katie- You should join the MJ Heirloom Mavens group! Check out the "Danger of Extintion" thread and and the "Maven Tea Time". We also have a Coop over in the Henhouses. The Mavens are working towards trying to preserve the heirlooms and doing as much letter writing etc that we can to try and make sure that our heirlooms can be preserved for future generations!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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idcityrose
True Blue Farmgirl
202 Posts
Rose
Idaho City
Idaho
USA
202 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 3:56:25 PM
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What a wonderful topic and what strong women you all are. Are any of you going to the BBB? because I would love to meet you.
I have given up on the idea that I will ever be part of a couple again.
I was a single mom for 17yrs,my son graduated last year. I have not even dated in that time nor do I think I can do that "dance" again. I was so busy raising my son and taking care of my shack (it is mine even if it is a shack) and working, sometimes 2 jobs. I was married 3 times so I do believe in marriage but as a child of the 60's and the baby of the family I have always had a voice. It scares men that I have an opinion. I am the only woman on our City Council (2nd term now) but I am one of 3 women on our School Board, a much better balance, but I do speak out and am not afraid of the repercussions because I had to grow into that over the years. I was a shy girl. I doubt if you could find anyone who knows me now say I am shy.
I just want to say what a powerful voice you all have, great topic Katie, Amen Sandra! One book I read to my son when he was young was called the Paperbag Princess. I don't remember the author but boy could I relate!
I love being a farmgirl and all the wonderful exposure to so many incredible women that I would never "meet" in a lifetime. Keep on Plowin Thru!!!!!
We are never alone in the forest of Sisters! We "Mountain Farmgirls" are outstanding in our field! |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2009 : 5:48:54 PM
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Alee,
I'll look for that .I just finally splurged and got high speed internet because I'm so enjoying these "talks".I might have to ask you again how to find it.I'm pretty bad at all this computer stuff.
I don't think people should give up on things idcityrose.Your life will change now that your son is growing more independant.You never know when someone wonderful will come along who appreciates ALL of you.Sometimes I was blind to the ones who were looking.It sure is wonderful to have someone in my life it sure makes alot of things possible if you get someone to help not hinder.I think you've done all the hard work getting to know who you are.But you sound like me and I found someone who even likes all those out front strong things about me.
Katie
But thanks for all the support,sometimes it seems that no one sees it so it's nice when someone does see it. |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 08:45:50 AM
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I don't know if anyone on here from Idaho remembers, or saw, last August- the story about a lady who's step-father had escaped from the half-way house he was paroled to- and that this same man had recieved 120 years in the State of Texas for sexually,physically and mentally abusing this lady for 17 years- (he was captured and came up for parole again this Feb which was denied- he'll come up for parole again in 2012)
Anyway- I am that lady- and I want every woman, survivor or no- to realize that we are strong enough to overcome anything that is put in our path- even if we are scared- or feel insecure- or whatever you have to deal with- most of the time those hardships create a more beautiful and stronger YOU! I was so scared of men - I didn't have a voice with them- or anyone actually- I didn't know how to function in society because I had been kept from it for 17 years. When I ran away I was forced into a world that totally baffled me- I didn't understand the concept of love, kindness, trust and acceptance coming from anyone because I felt I was what my step-father and bio mom had told me all those years- "a worthless piece of ass that is only good for one thing-"
When I 'gave up' on men, and people in general- I found so much more love and peace than I have ever known. And I'm not saying that everyone needs a partner in their life to make them whole- but I do. But I need, and have,(finally), a parnter who loves me endlessly, trusts me, accepts me, never puts me down or try's to manipulate me, and one who isn't afraid of my voice that I found; but it took me 12 years after I ran away to find myself, and accept myself and all my flaws,
So I guess what I'm saying is just live your life- be who you are, find your voice, and when the timing is right- you'll find someone who compliments you, (and I say compliment instead of complete- because a true partner will that- compliment you as a woman and everything that makes you who you are.) (I'll get off my soap box now- lol- )
Mazy Day Farm |
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idcityrose
True Blue Farmgirl
202 Posts
Rose
Idaho City
Idaho
USA
202 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 11:34:04 AM
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Sandra, to try to imagine what you have overcome makes me realize what an incredible woman you must be. Thank God for being where you are today and with someone who is so accepting, kind and loving. My heart aches for what you must have been through and I just want to say you are special.
I haven't given up on a relationship but maybe as Katie said she wasn't paying attention to who was interested in her. I really would like someone to share things with, someone like you both have found and I do know that it still could happen. I believe if it is to be it will be. I'll just keep on doing what I do and that is how I will meet someone that is like minded.
God bless us all with the wisdom and strength to keep on "Plowin Thru!"
We are never alone in the forest of Sisters! We "Mountain Farmgirls" are outstanding in our field! |
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idsweetie72
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Sandra
New Meadows
idaho
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 7:53:50 PM
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Amen sis- and that's all you can do- each day is an adventure- (of sorts- some days suck though) lol
And some of my happiest memories are of my 3 kids and I living in a teeny tiny house, (my bedroom was the pantry- seriously), we had so much fun just shakin off the dust from yesterday
Mazy Day Farm |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2009 : 8:18:45 PM
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Oh My God,what a story,and how well you write it,Sandra.I'm so sorry there are people such as that who are so hurt that they only know how to hurt back.Especially as a child with the people you are supposed to trust.God, I lived for eight years in a monastery,have worked there now a total of thirty years this year. I still have issues w/ my parents and others.I'm amazed at how once I forgive them and can talk to them without anger they can sometimes hear about how something affected me.Although I believe somethings are unforgivable,like what you mentioned.I think thenjust space and distance and protecting yourself has to be your concern.I'm so glad you've found someone to love you,finally.
At this monastery for a lng time I was in this "honeymoon" phase,everything I did was wonderful,held up as example to all others.I knew this was not it.Then after three years it changed and everything I did was wrong,again seconded by the whole community.At some point even in my worst thought of "who I really was,if people only knew",well this was beyond that.I realized I was neither the worst things or the best things,but I was important just the way I was,I had somethin to offer to the world no matter what.It gave me this really satisfied sense of myself that has allowed me to get through some hard times.
Good luck and much love to everyone who has undergone hard times and survived.Maybe even come back to offer something.
Katie |
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A Farm of My Own: Empowing Women |
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Empowing Women
