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Family Matters:  Family Denial  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 05 2009 : 07:28:25 AM
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Yep, my mother is at it again and I have decided in 2009 that it is no longer my fault and that it is what it is. She keeps calling (the wrong phone of course, instead of my cell, she calls the house which I NEVER answer, we only use that line for emergencies and faxing- and emailing) I know it is killing her that she doesn't know what is going on with us. You must understand, I haven't talked to them since September 13th, when I made the choice to stop the madness since they love to continue the craziness. It was hard at first to see people who are really mentally in denial and I started to feel guilty, though it is not my fault. NOW- we are moving forward as a family and it is very freeing. They have Scott's cell phone for emergencies and I know she will never call it. Too afraid. It is very freeing. I hope someone out there can use my turbulations as a way to a bright light in their life. : )
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2009 : 11:35:59 AM
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Bully for you, Heather, for taking such a step! It's not easy to put an end to such bad behavior from others-- ESPECIALLY your PARENTS!!! But, they have to realize, one way or another, that you are ALL grown up and no longer under their authority.
It's good too, that you don't feel guilty about it. You shouldn't. Unlike revenge-- guilt IS a single edged sword and only hurts those who FEEL it! The other party CAUSING that guilt is often clueless. Hang in there hon. Eventually she just MIGHT get it! Hugs ~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
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MsCwick
True Blue Farmgirl
775 Posts
Cristine
Farmville
Virginia
USA
775 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2009 : 11:48:09 AM
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| My husband's older brother is older by about 16 years, and he is a terrible bully, and has taken advantage of us and of his( & my husband's) parents. Borrowing money, being obnoctious, sitting in our driveway drunk waiting for me to come out of the hosue becuase he thought I said something about him, he was banging on the door and ringing the door bell a million times, so I locked myself in our room with a gun, and called my husband's mother. He claimed we were trying to get his 13 year old to get drunk with us, and the only reason alcohol was even around was because it was new years eve! she snuck it from us and then she told on herself but blamed it on us! His brother has just made drama, and financial problems(borrow money when we don't have it to lend, and then never pay it back) claim that my husband owe's HIM money for something that happened 5 years ago, etc, etc, etc....I have no siblings, so I don't know about the bond and the attachment that comes with having them, but after seeing my husbands feelings hurt, taken advantage of, and bullied, I asked him a million times why he put up with it. He said that's my brother. Well, if that's your brother, why does he only hurt you? Well, yadda yadda yadda, finally my husband has managed to cut most ties with him. And although I'm only watching this from my point of view, I see that it can be very freeing! And he doesn't feel guilty about it, and we are able to live our lives without being in bondage to a terrible situation. It always hurts when issues like that come up with family, but when you're a drama king or queen, what can you expect?! |
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2009 : 5:23:06 PM
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You get kicked off your throne by whichever family member has the gumption to DO it! THAT'S what happens!!! I have one sister that we all LOVE, but we do things all the time WITHOUT her because we can't stand the drama. She never knows about it, so no feelings get hurt, and only ONCE in awhile do any of us feel guilty about exluding her from certain things. But that feeling is usually short lived!
She's one of those relatives that IS invited to all the famliy functions, but when it's the little things --- like my Little sister and I taking a 3 day trip last year to the "Wine Country" to deliver a lamb, and spending part of that time on the BEACH!!! Well, those are the kinds of things we DON'T invite her to do!! It becomes all about HER if we do. Did that once, will NEVER do it again!!! At least at famliy functions she can always find SOMEONE who hasn't heard all about her life and who will sympathize with the latest drama going on. She's pretty much content to sit and chatter in THEIR ear the whole while leaving the rest of us at peace. I just don't get some people, but that's just how it is.....
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
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Family Matters: Family Denial |
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Family Denial
